Daughter Maturing Too Fast

Girls typically get their 1st period 2 years after they get breast buds and pubic hair. So you do have some time:)

My daughters loved The American Girl book on the topic but by the time they were 9 we had already been talking about what happens to girls bodies for years.

Good luck!!

This is actually very typical for this generation of girls.

I can't make a recommendation based on personal experience, but the book I've seen most highly recommended is "The Care and Keeping of You." It's part of the American Girls series, so it's a nice fit for a girl who's a tiny bit on the young side for puberty.

And just remember, the more confident you act, and the less embarrassed you seem when you bring up the subject, the more comfortable she'll be asking you questions.

Get the book series called "American Girl" books.
Your daughter is a Tween. Tweens are from 9-12 years old.
Pre-teens.
Yes, they start to develop and wear deodorant. My daughter is 10 and has been wearing deodorant for awhile. Its no big deal. Even in 3rd grade, the Teachers would talk to the class, about smelliness and taking care of themselves.

The book series I mentioned is GOOD. Age appropriate and meant for the girl to read and discuss with Mom.
I got these for my daughter when she was much younger, even before 8 years old. My daughter loves these books, and now at her age, she still reads it. And we can discuss it too.

Start talking WITH your daughter about her body already.
Some girls, get their periods even at 9 years old.

My daughter just turned 9. She has been wearing deodorant since kindergarten and she is barely starting to develop breasts. Puberty is a longer process than deodorant and breasts. I suspect she won't start her period until around 12 (although some girls do start earlier than that...) A good gauge may be what age you were when you started.

I second the Am. Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You." It is a good book geared toward younger girls with straight forward information, but nothing overboard. My daughter is really private, so I got it for her so that she could read it on her own and we could talk about it together.

I think it's still important to talk to your daughter how ever uncomfortable it is. It's important for her to know that she can come to you with questions about her body or emotions. That book just kind of serves as an introduction and bridge to a discussion, though she could get all of the info she needs from reading it.

I am assuming she is about 4th grade? If so, in the 4th grade is when our school nyrse comes in for a talk with the girls because there are so many moms who just shudder at the thought of talking and do nothing and the poor girls have no info.

We started communicating WAY early on when daughter was a toddler and talked about everything. She knew what to expect and she also knew that IF her period started at school that she could trust that the school nurse would be more than willing to help her.

My daughter started at 12, at school, and Thank God, she was prepared. She jsut went to the nurse, got things under control ,called me, and there was no embarrassment or horror.

I got a booklet and info free from Playtex tampons and we used that info along with a lot of open communication with me listening and answering questions.

If you are not comfortable talking to her (no worries... my mom was a huge prude and I learned everything from my BFF and her mom) talk to her when you are driving, etc so you are not face to face.

I do believe you would prefer your daughter to come to you with questions and info vs her finding out info that is not all correct from friends. Thank God, I had a very loving BFF mom.

Good luck!

I've always had the talk with my daughter. It has been an ongoing conversation from the first time she noticed that I was different than her because I had breasts and hair down there. She was 2. I highly recommend the Care and Keeping of You. My daughter is 9 and in the 3rd grade and is fully aware of what is to come. Heck a few weeks ago she said to me 'mom I now am starting to get hair on my privates........Does that mean I get my period soon too?' Needless to say my daughter is excited about maturing and growing up, I'm not excited that my 9 year old is going through things I myself did not until I was much older however that's my issue not hers. I hope you always make sure to make things about the facts and about how it is a part of life and never allow her to feel negative about what is going to happen or what is happening. Obviously no it's not all fun and games of course but it isn't a bad thing either kwim? Hope all goes well with you and your daughter. :)

I don't have a daughter, but I can share how my mom talked to me about it. My mom is a very straight-forward person, and she never felt weird talking about those kind of things. I remember her sex talk was not "birds and bees" but very direct, as in a girl has a ---- and a boy has a ---- and he puts his ---- in your ---. I was shocked as a kid hearing that b/c I didn't understand why a boy would want to do that to a girl, LOL.

OK, TMI, but when my mom talked to me about menstruation, she just said it point blank. When you get older, you will have a period where you bleed and it happens once a month. When it happened for the first time ( I was 11) I didn't know what it was. I had cramps so I thought I was having a stomach ache, so I left my friend's house and came home. My mom had to come in the bathroom and look, and reassure me that's what it was. Then she gave me pads and I was self conscious about people being able to tell...so make sure you let your daughter know nobody will know she's wearing one.

...I don't know if I helped...but I would just say be open and relaxed about it. It's better for her to know you are cool with it so she isn't scared.

I am going to guess that she is in the 4th grade, per her age. If her school is like ours, they will have a health video at the end of the year (May time frame) that talks about it. You could also talk to the school counselor and see if you could see the video early. Our video was from the 1980's. It was so cheesy I couldn't stop smirking through it.

The girls video talked about what happens, how to handle it, how to prepare for it (carrying a small purse), etc. At the middle school, the nurse has a supplies available in case they are needed. I thought that was nice. We didn't have that.

I would also let her know, when the time comes, that what she will go through, how she feels, accidents, etc. Half of the world has been there done that. That there isn't anything that will happen that you haven't been through and that you can't help her understand.

My 2 grandaughters started their periods at 9 1/2 and 10 yrs old. My younger daughter was also 10.

It's not that difficult to have the talk. Just sit her down and ask her if she has seen the 'Stay Free' or 'Always' ads on TV or in magizines. Has she wondered what they are for? Then give her a brief explaination. Keep it simple. Answer her questions simply and honestly.

My daughter was the same way. She is 12 and for Christmas she got a 32B bra from Victoria's Secret! She started developing around 9 1/2-10ish as well, and she started her period in December of this year. So it was a good 2 years of "changing" before her period started....you should have time at least to get prepared. I got her the American Girl book "the care and keeping of you" I think it's called. EXCELLENT well written book, very matter of fact...very age appropriate...there are some books out there that get too detailed into sex and what not, and I don't think a 10 year old needs to be bombarded with that just yet.....but they do need to be prepared for what is happening in their body and this book was great for it. I was afraid to have the talk....so I had her read the book, then ask me questions if she had any. the book is so informative and so "on her level" that frankly I think it explained everything better than I could have. She only had one or 2 questions and was totally fine with all the explanations she received from the book....and when the period came...she was ready and handled it quite well.

My daughter has her first period at nine, but she already knew what was going on. She had known about periods and where babies come from since she was four.
Our pediatrician recommended "Our Bodies, Ourselves" if she had any questions that she didn't want to ask me or him.

I got a couple of books and read them to my dd. One is called "It's not the stork", the other is "What's The Big Secret". They are books about the sex talk. I also got a video from the library called "Let's Talk Puberty for Girls". My dd is 9 and she already has a friend who got her period. My dd is a late bloomer and tiny for her age, so I'm guessing she'll be well into her teens before she gets her period, but since some of her 9-10 year old friends are starting to develop, it's only fair that she knows what's happening. She was fine with all the books and watched the puberty video many times.

My mom delegated everything to my sister with me, I thought that was wrong at the time and still think it's wrong now. Moms should discuss this with their kids.

Hi J.,

I second what Kelly K. said. It could still be awhile (maybe even a couple of years) before her period comes. My daughter also starting wearing deodorant and changing a bit in her chest area when she was 9.5. She will turn 11 in April and still doesn't have her period. The hormones start kicking in early to cause all of these changes, but it can take a long time. I also recommend The Care and Keeping of You by American Girl. It's a fantastic book. We looked it over together, then I told her to go over anything she wanted to on her own and to ask me if she ever has any questions or concerns.

My children aren't there yet and I have no idea what I will do or say, so I am sorry for that. My best advice would be to try not to be embarrassed or embarrassing by it...I just remember my mom using motions with knees bent on how to use a tampon and it haunts me to this day!!

I just wanted to address the maturing too fast...I know it probably feels that way, but she sounds right on target to me!

I am 42 now. I started getting breast buds around the age of 9. My period didn't start until I was around 12 years old though. My doctor at the time said it was perfectly normal to begin to develop breast at the age of 9 and that it wasn't bad. Deoderant use at 9 1/2 isn't out of the norm either. I think that's about the time my 12 year old son started using it.
We got the book "It's Perfectly normal" By Robie H. Harris for my son and he enjoyed it a lot. We gave it to him to read and said he could ask us any questions he had. It worked very well.
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growi...

My granddaughter started wearing deo around that age and her breasts became a little more pronounced. She just started her period this week at age 12 1/2.

Go to the library or book store and look at books to read with your daughter. There are many different ones in different styles. Find one that seems a good fit for you and your daughter.

American Girl has a series of books that are aimed towards the preteen and teen that you might find helpful.

I would get her the book "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret".

I don't know what grade your daughters in assuming she's in4th and or district but our district has already brought it up and they cover most of it. I personally I used um a baby development sight cuz it showed the anatomy of a woman and I believe a boy too. I just let her know this is what to expect and what will happen. I explained to her about how her body changes now I have six kids n my oldest girl as a lot of like of my mother in law so I have ask my mother in law about her periods n when she started so the symptoms match hers completely. So she knows what to expect my daughter started developing at nine its common there's also booklets at the patricians too. OR at least at mine that you can look at.

In my opinion there is not "one talk". My daughter asked at age 2 how babies got into mom's belly and I said "daddy and I did the naked hug", and that satisfied her for a few years. My kids are now almost 13 and 16 and last year I bought a book on Amazon.com called just S.E.X. as well as another called "100 questions you would never ask your parents". My 16 year old got her period at 12.5, my 13 year old does not have it yet, I got mine on my 15th birthday! It depends on genetics and body fat, but generally it seems to be about 2 years after they start getting breast buds (those little bumps under the nipple area only - I had it on one side for about a year and then the other one came - my breasts are still not equal but only noticeable when I am naked).
Our middle school separates the boys and girls in 5th grade for a sex talk and basics of hygiene where the girls get samples of deodorant and pads (not sure what the boys get).
I also got my girls the American Girl books, and the one called "The care and keeping of you" is a good start. I would get your daughter that book, and let her know if she has any questions you are there for her. Also show her where you keep pads and pantiliners incase she wants to use them.
It is more a matter of being open and addressing little questions as they come up, than one long serious talk about puberty and sex. Although the best advice yet that I heard about sex came from a father who told his girls "don't ever believe ANYTHING a boy tells you when he has a hard-on". But that is for another post. Good luck.

I thought in 3rd grade they start talking about these changes in their bodies.

Talk to her with the guidance of the book "the care and keeping of you.." Little by little, but also tell her about how these changes happened to you as a girl..

Explain why she needed deodorant.. And let her know what s happening now... And what she should expect next...

Just matter of fact.. Be sure to tell her to ask any questions any time she has questions. My mother was always so matter of fact, I never thought these things were a big deal.

I started telling our daughter about these things really young.

Usually while we were in the car... Her in back, me driving, so we could have privacy...