Daughter's Finger Sucking Has Become a Real Problem

Updated on April 16, 2010
M.J. asks from Thousand Oaks, CA
11 answers

My 2-year-old daughter has been sucking her third and fourth finger (middle and ring) on her left hand since she was just a few months old. She used a pacifier for a short time before that, but gave it up in favor of these fingers. I have been concerned about her teeth, but the dentist and pediatrician both said let her do it until she's three, so I was just letting her do it until it started becoming a health issue. First of all, she catches EVERYTHING b/c she touches stuff and then puts her fingers in her mouth. I'm sure this contributes to her having had a violent stomach flu several times already in her short lifetime. But now she's getting sores on her fingers from the sucking, and sometimes they get infected, so the pediatrician said she changed her mind, she wants my daughter to stop the sucking. I tried taping fingers together, band-aids, incentive to paint her nails, distraction (clapping, hold a toy, etc.), and nothing works. I read answers to a previous post that suggested it might be my daughter's solution to pain in her head or something, but I don't know about that. She does it to self-soothe if she's upset, but also does it if she's tired, bored, or just out of habit. I'm at my wits' end--please help!

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M.R.

answers from Cleveland on

My sister did this when she was little .. same fingers too! Not only did she get sick all the time but she had braces for many more years than she should've because it pushed her front teeth forward as they grew. They do sell things that you can paint her nails with that tastes absolutely horrid and although it sounds terrible it worked. Within a week she was done sucking on her fingers. You mentioned self soothing also and perhaps you could get her a "special" stuffed animal and explain to her that it will take her tears away when she holds on to it but that her new special friend can't do that if she has her fingers in her mouth. Also they have balls with "feelers" on them that can give a great soothing effect just by touch. My son has one of those and I find myself touching it over and over again as well! I would definitely get the nail polish though, it really does work!!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

As is true for other similar habits (nail biting, hair twirling, skin picking, etc.) the behavior could be partly out of boredom or nervousness, and partly out of a need to stimulate the nervous system (check out this list to see whether anything else fits your daughter: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

I was a nail biter from an early age. When I finally REALLY wanted to quit the habit, I tried every trick and gimmick I could think of, including buying my own nasty-tasting stuff to put on my nails. I noticed the habit snuck up on me when I was inactive and bored, and often when I was nervous and restless. I gradually taught myself to always have a smooth "worry" stone and a seashell in my pocket that felt good to touch.

Your daughter may be able to help choose an alternative stimulant that pleases her. Maybe a polished stone, or a string of smooth beads around her neck. If chewing/sucking is the part that's important, there are alternative products (some at the link above) for kids who need the extra sensory input. Also, be aware of the times she's most likely to have her fingers in her mouth.

Bedtime is tough, but you can probably direct her into some activity if it happens when she's just sitting and watching a video or reading a book. Be sure she gets LOTS of physical excercise and activity to get her good and tired so she'll sleep easily.

Good luck, M.. As you gradually (and I hope, VERY calmly) coach your daughter away from this behavior, be aware that she may need to substitute something else.

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E.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 2.5 and she too has been sucking on the same 2 fingers (on her right hand) since she was about 2 months old. She does it only when she is tired, sleepy or upset and she has to have her “bear-ba” (blanket with little teddy bears on it) to rub against her face while sucking. Talking about hygiene, we wash hands as often as possible but not only because of her sucking her fingers. We have a big dog and they always play together, so we just have to keep washing hands. She rarely gets sick – she actually never got stomach flue and hadn’t caught a cold during the winter.
If your daughter’s fingers get sore and infected as a result of sucking and you have absolutely no other way out, then I have 2 possible suggestions:
1. If she has a blanket that goes along with finger sucking, you could “lose” it – most likely she won’t know how to suck the fingers without it. Instead it’d be probably ideal to offer her a stuffed animal of some sort to cuddle with.
2. Finger Guard (item # 15115) from One Step Ahead – click link below and scroll all the way down http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId....
We are not to the point of trying it yet. I still hope she’ll stop on her own when time comes… She seems to do it less often now.

I hope one of these 2 ideas will help. I wish you and your little girl best of luck.

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M.C.

answers from Charlottesville on

My six year old does this. I put the yucky stuff on her finger and guess what she sucked it right off and didn't miss a beat. She does not so this at school because she is afraid of going to see the Principal. I told her that she needs to stop and even bought her a new cuddle bear for night time. I realize that this is a comfort thing for her. But her teeth are going to pay the cost. We are going to the Denist in the morning for her regular check-up. I think that I will ask her to help me have this discussion with my daughter. I also think that I'm going to start really pushing the issue this summer. I feel bad about making her stop. But she has to. I will write you after our dentist appointment. But I think that like you. I'm going to have to be tough with this and find a way to just make her stop. I might have to get her principal to help me.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, My youngest (now 31) sucked his two middle fingers on his left hand until he was about 4 years old. He HAD to have his "nighty" when he did it. His nighty was actually two of my old nightgowns he had been rubbing when I nursed him at night. I gave them to him in strips. When he lost the last strip, he couldn't figure out how to suck his fingers. Several months after losing the last one, he found it in the bottom of his toy box as we were cleaning it out. He picked it up and his fingers went right into his mouth. We laughed about it and he gave it right back and never sucked his fingers again. So, what I am saying is, if she has a "blankie" or something she rubs while sucking her fingers, maybe it could disappear. By the way, luckily, he didn't need braces.
Our daughter sucked her thumb until she was even older than our son. She wanted to quit and I talked to her about sucking less time and not sucking as hard. She also had a "blankie" she used when doing it. She didn't give up rubbing the silk on the blanket, but she was able to quit sucking her thumb.
Our other son and daughter used binkies for 5 months each and then spit them out and never needed one again.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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D.C.

answers from San Diego on

I saw a little one wearing gloves recently, and the mom said it was to discourage the thumb-sucking. The little girl appeared to enjoy wearing them- seemed to feel she was all dressed up. You could reduce the sucking during the day this way, and wash her hands at night before putting her to bed. (Or just keep the gloves on for a couple weeks until the habit breaks).

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

If you need the names of some good vitamins let me know. We could help boost your daughters immune system for a start.

In the old days they put bad tasting stuff on your fingers, but.......you would have to do some research to be sure it wouldn't hurt her eyes. Maybe you can find something natural that she just doesn't like the taste of. I would sit her down and tell her you are going to help her stop sucking her fingers. Not because it is bad, but because it might hurt her teeth as she grows. Then remind her every time you see it and have a blankie or cuddly bear she can hold instead. My oldest son kept his blankie until he was about 10!

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is almost 6 and has been sucking her thumb since she was in the womb. It is her way of self-soothing, and I don't know what else we'd substitute. She doesn't suck her thumb at school (I volunteer and see) or if she's busy. It's mostly when she's tired, or bored, or upset. She also sucks it as she's going to sleep. She has never had a favorite blanket or lovey for any extended period of time, so her thumb has been her one constant comfort.

Many people I've talked to (one just today, in fact) have sucked their thumbs well into elementary school and never needed braces. I didn't suck my thumb and DID need them, so I honestly think a lot of it is just genetic.

The dentist said she should stop sucking her thumb by age 6. He wanted me to put something on her elbow at night so she can't bend it, but I'm not going to make her have a restless night and then deal with the lack of sleep. He also suggested taping a glove on her hand. It didn't work. She took it off in her sleep. (I had to wear head gear at night with my braces, and every morning I'd find it on my bedside table. I took it off in my sleep!) She goes back to the dentist in June, and they may put in a "magic bar" which would prevent her from sucking her thumb. We'll see. If insurance doesn't cover it and it's expensive, we'll probably skip it and see how her teeth turn out. Like I said, I've talked to many thumb suckers who have straight teeth....and many like me, who never sucked a thumb, with horrible teeth.

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W.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

wash her hands often and you might try helping her to learn games to do with her hands so she will be busy with them herself .teach her to clap and sing using her hands, give her something to hold inboth hands at all times so their full and cant be sucked, Hot pepper worksbut if they are sore you may have to put stronger taped bandages on her and closely monitor her.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I smiled when I saw your posting. My daughter just turned 3, and she too has been sucking on the same 2 fingers (except they are her right hand) since she was 2 months old. She does it only when she is tired, sleepy, upset or bored. I, unfortunately, do not have a solution for you, but I will keep checking back to see if you have got a good response:-) I just wanted to say that mine, at 1 & 2, also got sick often, but it's gotten a lot better these days. So I know you are super worried about the germs stuff, and I am too, but I think that it will get better as they build up their immune, and in your case at a younger age. If her fingers got infected as a result of sucking, then it is a little worrysome. But you hve tried many "discouragement" methods, it may be time to try some "encouragement" methods -- treats, more cuddling time, more reading time, whatever her favorites are. I haven't tried very hard in correcting my daughter yet, because her sucking hasn't affected her fingers or anything. And it seems like she is spending less and less time sucking too... more activities (playing with her friends or her older brother), and more understanding. So I wanted to tell you that things will get better for your girl too. Best of luck!

a mom in the same boat:-)

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

how about puttnng some thing bad tasting on her fingers maybe that will help A. no hillls

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