DD Begging for Pet Bunny...

You stop her from asking by telling her it's not up for discussion and completely ignoring her pleas after that. If she insists on continuing to talk send her to her room so that you don't have to hear it. Tell her to go to her room because you don't want to hear it.

Definitely stop any sort of conversation about the rabbit. Walk out of the room if you'd prefer that to sending her to her room. My daughter asks her children if they'd like a chore when they insist on continuing to talk about something she's already said no to. After a few times of this and actually giving them a chore to do they now stop once she says those words.

if it was my son (and we've been there- haven't we all had a kid that asked for something over and over after getting an answer they didn't like?) i would tell him "right now the answer is 'not now, maybe someday'. if you keep asking, it will be never. do NOT ask me again."

maybe because i've used this before, it works. he knows i mean it. whining/complaining/begging do NOT get him what he wants - it usually means an automatic "no".

Give her more responsibility with the pets you do have?

My daughter wants her own pet. We already have 3 cats. We've told her that she can have a fish once she's mastered the responsibility to keep her room clean. She's still fishless, but she loves looking at them when we hit the pet store to get foods for the "bottomless pits".

Whining and crying never gets us anywhere. You know what DOES? Hard work.

So, if you can turn the rabbit into an opportunity to teach her to work hard for what she wants...washing cars, doing extra chores, etc., to make enough money to get her bunny and all the stuff that goes with it...

It will probably take her a couple of years.

And she'll likely lose interest. If she doesn't, heck...she earned it.

Wow - that kind of whining attitude REALLY bothers me as a mom, so I'd probably be pretty stern with my answer about now.
I would tell her that her whining and crying and constant begging will NEVER get her what she wants! And actually that rude type of behavior will get her absolutly nothing from me! (or dad) And that she needs to be happy with herself and what she has not relying on some "new fun thing" to make her happy. I would tell her that until she starts showing more respectul and mature behavior to me and dad, she definetly won't be getting a new pet.
I mean, come on mom, kids don't get to be annoying and whiny and get their way right? She's 5. Even if she was 2 I wouldn't tolerate this behavior.

Tell her if she asks again, she will NEVER get a bunny. From that point on, do not even acknowledge her.

A side note, it's not a good idea to have bunnies and dogs together. Bunnies are prey, and dogs are predators. There are many dogs who can be with bunnies, but more who scare the bunnies to death, or harm them. Guinea pigs also scare to death incredibly easily. Guinea pigs should only go in pairs. They are social creatures, and don't live long without a partner. Like I said though, it doesn't take much for them to be scared to death.

I would explain the hamster plan again. Then I would put up a calender with her birthday page up. Put a a hamster looking sticker on her birthday. Tell her every time she whines about the bunny, the hamster (and therefore the bunny) get moved back a day. Cross out the sticker when she whines and put a new one down one day (or how ever many days she whined worth). Some kids just need visuals

We had a bunny and that thing bit me daily when I'd feed him. He was trained for a litter box.

Sweet bunny but he loved only my daughter and I was the caregiver. He lived 8 LONG yrs not to mention the allergies.

I am a huge pet lover and accepted this responsibility 100%. We had some good times but he was a boatload of extra work.

Stand your ground on this one . Also, if my daughter was begging that much , her begging would be the end of the story. Respect my no or not at this time or forever lose the potential beloved wish!

If it was my kids, I'd tell them that I wasn't getting them a bunny and if they whined or begged, they'd lose a bedtime story chapter. Your daughter is old enough to realize that she can't have everything she wants, and whining and crying for it is simply being a drama queen. It's not accepted behavior in my house. Stop engaging with her over this and she'll get the message.

When my children were small, we had family pets. THIS member of the family took care of all of them (the children helped). That was all right with me.

But when the kids wanted pets of their own, I told them that when they were out of elementary school, they could bring up the subject and we'd talk about it. It takes a high degree of maturity to commit to a living creature who needs careful, thoughtful, regular care (and that includes a bunny, a gerbil, or a snail).

So my older son eventually had some fish, and he took very good care of them. My older daughter had a series of hamsters (because, as conscientious as she was, they just didn't live very long). My younger daughter had a parakeet. My younger son decided he didn't want to do what his siblings were doing; however, now he's married and has two dogs, a cat, and two foster cats, as well as a son and a daughter, so he's making up for lost time.

It sounds to me as if your daughter may love bunnies (and so do I) but she loves getting what she wants even more. She is confident that she will wear you down if she pesters and worries you long enough. It's a form of power game. That's five-year-old strategic thinking!

You can tell her, "Abby, look at me so I know you're listening. No. Bunny. Now. Ask me again when you're twelve (or ten or whatever) if you want a bunny then. That's it. Don't. Ask. Again. Now, what did I just say?"

What if Abby starts pestering and whining right away (and you know it could happen!)? Then deal with her outright disobedience - which has nothing to do with rabbits - the way you usually do. You will not destroy her character or smash her spirit, whatever she may tell you.

This sounds mean on the surface, but it's actually a good idea NOT to give a child what she whines for. What she asks for politely is something else and you can consider it rationally, but the final decision is still up to Mama and Daddy. That's the way the world runs. Especially when you're five.

I would tell her that she needs to stop asking. That her asking after being told no has crossed the line into whining and harassment. The answer is no and the more she whines and begs, the LESS LIKELY you are to consider it, ever. I would tell her that her behavior has become rude and it is no longer about the item she wants and cannot have. It is about the fact that she is not taking your answer as the end of the discussion and making it a Big Hairy Deal.

FWIW, even a guinea pig can be a high maintenance pet. My DD is 4 and remembers the ones we had when she was a toddler. I have said no to them right now b/c 1. they are social (like rabbits) and one would mean two, and 2. I know what all it entails with the cleaning and feeding and caring and vet bills and don't have it in me right now. I do want more some day, but not now. My sister has house rabbits and says she had to do more to rabbit proof the house than she did to baby proof.

Just TELL her, STOP whining! It will not... get... her.... anything.
She is old enough to know that.
I have 6 year old.
When/if he whines I tell him "you're a 1st grader, not a preschooler. Stop whining. Mommy will not be manipulated by that..."
And it, stops.

Now per the bunny.
We have a pet rabbit.
Have had it for about 5 years now.
Got it when my daughter was about 5.
It is a good pet. Also because, the personality of our bunny, is very docile. And loves kids. And we neutered her.
But, we keep her in a big cage.
This is the one we have:
http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pc...
It is easy to clean and use.
The rabbit, only pees/poops in one corner of the cage. They also use a litter box. So, when we have the rabbit out on our balcony for running around, we put out the litter box. And its fine.
Or, we also let her out into our yard, within a kids' type Super yard, and she can hang out outside. And we have a rabbit harness/leash too. The kids like to "walk" her.
They have not gotten "tired" of the rabbit.
It is loved.
The rabbit loves to sit in my kids' laps. And it is cuddly.

We just have to buy litter for the cage, pellets and hay. And we also give it vegetables we grow in our garden.
To clean the cage, we just use a poop scooper, and scoop out the pellet poop and soiled litter and refresh it, as needed.
Rabbits do not make noise, either.
Nor barking or meowing or chirping.
We have found, our rabbit to be an "easy" pet to have and care for.

If you do get a rabbit, I would not, recommend the "mini" type breeds. They tend to be hyper and/or nip. We had one previously, and it eventually escaped. though we had it in a high walled enclosed area.
And my daughter's friend, has a Mini breed rabbit, and it bites and it is hyper and basically is anti-social.

Anyway, that is our experience with rabbits as a pet.

But sure, about the whining.... just tell your daughter... to stop it.
She is 5. Not 3.

As a vet, I'm sure you are aware of this - but a head's up for anyone else who might consider adding a rabbit to their family menagerie:

Be sure to buy from a reputable source.

There was a piece on our local news recently about street vendors selling what were purported to be full grown minis. Only they were actually babies. Tiny, furry, adorable babies. And because they were too young to be taken from their moms, they didn't survive long. And if they did, it was because of a lot of intense and expensive care from a vet.

Sad story :-(

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/investigations/series/get-ga...

As a vet you obviously KNOW how much work a rabbit is.
Our bunny is close to 10 years old, and the poor guy is pretty much ignored :-(
He was a gift to my daughter, when she was 7. She is now 17, and the cuteness pretty much wore off within the first few months (as you also know, there is nothing fun or cute about cleaning animal cages!)
As a mom I understand that any pet that comes into this house is ultimately MY responsibility. Even if a child diligently feeds and cleans an animal they will likely need to be constantly reminded and nagged, and of course vet bills fall on mom and dad too.
ETA: I think ignoring the behavior is the best route. Yes, it's annoying, and I know that some kids are VERY persistent but if you continue to ignore it she will give up at some point!

Maybe start with this instead of the hamster:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UXDLVW/ref=asc_df_B000UXDLVW...

My son goes through phases of begging for another dog. For some reason, he got fixated on chihuahuas. Probably because we have two pit bulls! I just consistently answered "Some day, but not right now" without further explanation. Over and over and over. He did eventually stop asking, but I think that I am going to have to get him a little dog of some kind at some point. I am hoping to steer him into pug or Boston territory and away from the Chihuahua!

First, your 'no' is a very reasonable "no".

Next, your daughter has her answer, but is continuing to whine and nag. It's hard not to have what we want, but whining gets you nowhere fast in our house.

What I do when kids whine is to just reiterate my position once, and only once. Then, when it comes up again, I give a clear expectation: "I've already given you my answer and it is not going to change. When we are ready to have a rabbit, I will tell you. But it's not going to be soon. So, I'm happy to talk with you about something else, but I am not answering that question any more."

And then, don't. No more attention for whining and nagging. Just ignore it until she changes what she is talking/asking about, and then be responsive. Selective, active ignoring is likely the best route to take this time around.

Good for you for being a responsible pet owner and not just catering to your child's every whim! When she's old enough to be responsible enough to do her chores and homework without whining and complaining, consider revisiting the subject.

Also, consider having a snack for her immediately after school, so her blood sugar isn't too low. Cranky kids can get worked up pretty easily!

PS-- hamsters are nocturnal, so expect that running wheel to be squeaking when you want to sleep!

honestly i would skip the guinea pig all together as they have a decent life span and if you are to end up with a bunny you would probably have a bunny and a guinea pig at the same time. Bunnies arent that much more work than the guinea pig either. I would do the hamster idea although most little hamsters Ive known cant be held because they bite and are mean. I had a bunny but I was a little older like 9 i believe. I loved that bunny. Ok I know I didnt answer your question but I had to comment. I would tell her that if she asks or keeps bugging you that there is no way she will get a bunny until she can learn that whining doesnt get you what you want. BUT a bunny would be a super cute Easter present.

or just say the dog will eat the bunny (this is the reason we cant have a cat, although its true on my end)

I would just ignore her. I finally gave in to the bunny whining by borrowing one for two weeks. It stunk up our basement, I was the only one caring for it and my boys' friends had no interest in it so they quickly lost interest in it too. I couldn't wait to get that bunny back to my friend who raises rabbits and my boys stopped begging for a bunny. However, I realizes this doesn't always work. I did tell the boys that if it "worked out" and if dad wasn't allergic (he's allergic to cats and has had at least one reaction to rabbits in the past) we would keep it. So I took a risk. Good luck during this season of bunnies!

Did you share with your daughter that you were thinking of starting with the hamster then moving up to guinea pig, then a bunny? If so, then I would talk to her again and just tell her flat out: No. No bunny. Do not ask again until you are 10 years old. Period.
Then enforce the no whining. Send her to her room or whatever you would normally do for misbehavior. Refuse to allow it to be a topic of conversation.

The 1-2-3- Magic method of discipline comes to mind with this. Because it is what we parents tend to mess up when our kids need correction: we talk too much. Give her the simple response (no) and move on. Stop talking it to death with the whys and whens and ifs and maybe laters (if you have ever done that). Just a simple "no". And if she brings it up again, don't answer the question at all. Either ignore it, or tell her you've already answered and if she continues to ask she will ________(time out, sent to room, lose a privilege, whatever). She knows it is getting to you. But she isn't receiving a consequence for continuing to be annoying. So she will continue...
When she realizes that she gets nothing out of it but time alone (or loses "x" "y" or "z"---or whatever) then she will know you mean it, and she will stop.

I learned quickly with my own kids, if I ever left any question open for discussion later, they would be relentless in bringing it up until they got what they wanted. Making it a sure thing (a plain "no", not a "not right now") takes all the room for debate and mind-changing and wheedling and begging and whining out of it.

Good luck.

(Oh, and if you DO use the 1-2-3-Magic, this is a prime thing to be counted for! Her: Mom, please can I have a bunny soon? You: That's one.

I agree with you about NOT getting a bunny for Easter unless it is really going to be wanted as a pet. The same thing happens during Christmas when puppies are given as gifts. Pets are a HUGE responsibility and require LOVE, patience and time. I am glad bunnies are not adopted during Easter !

You have several pets already. And I know how much time it takes now to take care of them properly.

If you will be getting a bunny down the line...give her an age. One of my kids wanted a phone at 9. I told her that age 13 was the earliest. It was a long wait !!!

Oh, don't do it. lol I had a bunny and a guinea pig at the same time. The bunny was pretty easy, except we live in a community. We have no yard just a small patio. I would let her out during the day but at night she was in a cage in the house. It pees a LOT. I kept kitty litter in the crate to keep it easier. But it smells BAD. It was a dwarf bunny. Not full size. It actually just passed last week. It was old. While I really miss her, I am glad not to have to be changing the litter pan every day. And we will NOT be getting another.

Give her a toy bunny.

I understand. Just keep your head on..

Our daughter knows that whining and crying.. will NEVER get you what you want.. When she can use her words and at like a big girl.. That is when you can respond..

Maybe make a deal with her that when she is.. whatever age, you all can talk about it again.. Or mention the hamster idea and that you want to see how that goes. OR put her in charge of the dogs..

Feeding, cleaning up after them, bathing them.. etc.. If she an handle them.. she can handle a rabbit.

Most children will get bored and begin to forget, they may make excuses..

This is when you remind her that rabbits, will need to be cared for without you reminding her. They chew on everything. The amount you feed them is the amount they will poop out. She will need to clean that cage each afternoon..

Their life expectancy is about 8 years. But to tell you the truth. I can only think of one rabbit at the school that lived for 4 years.

I love rabbits.. the thumping is so funny.. and their little noses.
My husband says he "loves them grilled". Don't tell your daughter that!

You can tell her that right now, you have more than enough animals that need your care and attention, and right now it wouldn't be fair to add another to the mix. And if she wants to continue to whine about it, that will only make your NO more firm.

I have a rabbit. My daughter wanted a chinchilla and there was a stray rabbit at my ex's veterinary clinic, so I brought that home instead. Stupid idea. (And you're a vet so you know how much trouble a bunny can be!) This thing was litter trained at one point, but sure isn't now! She poops everywhere (she lives in her own concrete-floor room in the basement that I have to clean CONSTANTLY). She has poopy butt CONSTANTLY, and no matter what I try to do to fix it, nothing helps. She bites and her teeth are razor sharp. I have scars to prove it. Basically she is an eating-pooping machine and a total pain in my arse. But I don't believe in getting rid of pets so I keep her and take good care of her and wonder just how old she really is......

Just tell your daughter your NO means NO. And then stop listening to her.

My girls really want a dog, which we can't do until we move. It doesn't stop them from being VERY excited about every dog we see, and asking all the time when we can get a dog (even though they know the answer).

But I get it. It's hard to really want a pet, and not get to have one. I had a pet rabbit growing up and he was fantastic. You could hold him on his back, like a baby, and he would purr! He could use the litter box, and made best friends with the cat. He was a wonderful pet, and very easy to care for (way easier than a hamster or guinea pig, I must say - our rabbit was "free range" and never had a cage).

I don't think you should get mad at her. This is something she really wants. It's very important to her right now, for whatever reason. Just because she can't have it doesn't mean she has to stop wanting it, or talking about it, right? I think I'd just say, "You know we can't get a bunny right now. Maybe next year, when you're in 2nd grade (or whenever). You can talk about bunnies all you want, but please stop asking every day if you can have one. You know what the answer is."

Also, keep in mind that the way kids' brains develop, it's totally normal for them to ask the same question over and over. They don't do it to be irritating, they do it because they truly want to know (even though to our adult brains, we are thinking, "I already answered this question 300 TIMES!") The best way to handle it is to give them the exact same answer. Over and over. They will eventually get it.

When my son does this kind of behaivor I give him extra dog (we have two) related chores for a week and then ask him if he is ready to do this EVERY DAY. He promptly answers "No" after a few days. Now I only need to ask him if he is ready to and I start listing them off, the subject of his own dog comes up now and again, he is 6. Lucky for me should my son ask for a bunny I can easily shut down that topic - Daddy is DEATHLY allergic to them, so no bunnies here.

I don't have any good advice, but good for you! I'm horrified that people continue to get bunnies and chicks for kids for Easter, as though the animal were a toy instead of a living creature. Then those animals are either neglected, since the parents didn't know what they were getting into, or they're given away when the child grows tired of them. Just keep telling your daughter no. I wanted a parakeet for as long as I could remember, and my mother never gave in. By the time I got my own place and could have gotten one, I realized that my lifestyle was not ideal for a bird. I still want one some day, but I don't know when that will happen. Your daughter is only five, so she doesn't really have any concept of how much work a rabbit could be. It sounds to me like you're doing everything right.

Trust me, you do not want a pet bunny. BTDT. I would not even discuss
The subject with her. The end.

Why are you asking, when you already know what you want to do....and that is give your child anything she wants even if she is not old enough to take on the responsibility for it?

Rabbits are great pets. I had one that would use a litter box and slept with me at night. He was leash trained and loved hopping around outside. Perfect pets when the time is right. But, you know what's involved. They're pets like any other pet. I would just explain that the rabbit wouldn't get along with the cats and dogs (which is more than likely true). And of course, you don't want the rabbit or other pets to get hurt.

sounds like you're handling it fine.
but i'd throw in some sort of consequence for the endless whining.
maybe she can come to work with you and clean cages?
khairete
S.

Maybe she doesn't want the other pets first, and this is her way of communicating that?

My daughter wants a pig, a pig! My husband does too, to raise organically for food. Anyhow, we sat down and talked, that before even thinking about having a pig, that she has to show responsibility around the house. This means feeding our dog everyday, on top of her normal responsibilities. It's been about 2-3 weeks and she's going strong. We've told her she needs to do this for at least 7 months and then we'll have to re-evaluate.
My point is, try giving your daughter a chance to show she's responsible. The reason I don't want anymore animals right now is because I have enough on my plate. If she's willing to take some off my plate, and we can work on this as a team/family, then so be it. (If we decide we can all handle the extra responsibility) Good luck!

Ah yes, my daughter has done the bunny begging, and the hamster, guniea pig, dog, etc. I finally got her a fish last year. As expected, I cleaned the tank, and when I didn't, the fish died. With the bunny and other rodents, I tell her that they would have to live in her room and they smell and are loud at night. She stopped begging for them. The dog is another story. She and her brother leave their stuff everywhere. I have explained that I do not want a sick puppy because she is not responsible enough to pick up after herself. When she can do that for a long period of time, we will talk. End of story.

Is there a local pet store you could go to and ask them to "let" her clean out a rabbit cage? Or do you know of anyone who has one?
I desperately wanted one as a kid too. My parents said if I read some books about them, and still wanted one I could get one. I was 12 though.
Well I QUICKLY regretted it. They are very very smelly, and messy. And a lot of them bite!
I agree, you need to stick to your guns. And she will just have to accept that she's not getting one. If she continues to whine, I'd take away a privilege or give her some extra chores. A tip I read in a love and logic parenting book is to tell her whining "drains" YOUR energy. So to put it back sh'll need to........ sweep, dust, clean up a mess or two, fold laundry etc. EVERY time she whines, tell her she's draining your energy so she'll have to work to put it back. It really works!
Good luck, and kuddos for sticking to your guns. Pets are a HUGE responsibility and the novelty and fun usually wear off really quick!