Difficult 6 Month Old

Updated on June 14, 2008
J.H. asks from APO, AE
7 answers

Okay...so I have two girls. A six year old and a six month old. My six year old was and still is the child every parent wishes for. Now...my six month old is completely opposite and is a huge handful. She is six months old and doesn't want to sleep at nap or at night and wakes every two hours...to play. Naps last about 20 minutes and she takes maybe two or three a day. She also has some severe seperation anxiety. The minute I am not within a two foot radius of her...she freaks out. She also screams and cries whenever she is put down to play. Car rides are a nightmare...she screams the entire time, except I found that Baby Einstein's in the portable DVD player keeps her quiet. She also hates being in a carseat, stroller, front pack, or anything that restrains her. According to my mom, I was a difficult child, but only becasue I was an independent child and I didn't act anything like my six month old so she really has no suggestions. Its like she wants me when she doesn't have me and doesn't want me when she has me. I'm so confused. Anything you have to offer is worth a try. I have tried everything I can think of to make her happy, but nothing seems to work. I just want her to be happy and smile and be able to enjoy the little time we have left together before I have to go back to work.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your help. The responses are wonderful. I will check into the books and ask the doctor again becasue he really didn't seem to concerned a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I need to push it with him.
Well, as for the baby I swear she knows everything I do. Right after I posted the question she actually took a nap...2 1/2 hours without waking and fell asleep by herself. Then that night she slept all night long! My hopes aren't up that it will become a habit, but how wonderful. I can see my own stubborn side in her...had my mom told people I wasn't sleeping I would have just to prove her wrong. I guess I'm in for a ride...at least I know a little of what to expect.
I really watched yesterday with her crying fits. I noticed that it happens when her sister gets home from school. I put her down and watched to see what happened and whenever her sister moved she watched and if she was out of her sight she screamed. I guess this is a blessing becasue at least my children love each other becasue the youngest one can't live without the older one and the older one is a great big sister.
Again, thank you. I will check with the doctor and look into the books suggested. I love the little booger and I can see we are going to have quite a few compromises ahead of us!

More Answers

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E.H.

answers from Columbus on

I'm sorry, you two have such a hard time, it's also hard to adjust to child that is different from the first one. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental process and usually appears between 6 and 8 months of age. There is a nice article about it at: http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/development/separation_anx.... About the screaming in the carseat,stroller, etc. have you talked with your pediatrician about it, maybe something hurts her while she is restrained or sitting. Friends of mine taking their son to see an Osteopath, because he shows similiar symptoms and has trouble sleeping.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I am thinking it may be gas pain for some of what she is complaining about. It would explain the yelling when in a car seat or stroller which are normally favorite places for babies to be and the short naps she takes, she hurts. To fix this you would look at what you are feeding her. If you are breast feeding then look at what you are eating. From personal experience I can tell you that milk, onions, and soda that I consumed would have that reaction on my babies. There are also over the counter baby gas drops you can buy. Have you asked your Dr. what she thinks?

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

You have a tough one there. I have an 11yo, a practically 5 yo and a 3.5 yo child. They are all different. My middle child wasn't totally like your young daughter, but she demanded a lot of attention. Sometimes you have to just go for the tough love, but I also suggest you talk to your pediatrician. There may be something else going on that you aren't aware of. I'd also talk to your pediatrician about using Melatonin a natural substance to help her sleep patterns. My pediatrician recommended it and it certainly helps us on occasion with getting tired cranky kids to bed and to sleep longer. Something they all need.

Best of luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.D.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

J., My name is N.. I like you have 2 children. And like you my first born was a dream child, really still is to this day, & will be 13 soon. Now my youngest, she was a very very (I could put a lot of that word here lol) difficult child. My difference was she wanted nothing to do with me at all, only my husband, this was from birth. Now, she's 9. She's still a pain but in a good way. We still have our problems for sure but we work them out.
My suggestion to you from what I am hearing, take your young one to a Pediatrician. A specialist as it were. Not just a doctor who can look at her & say "why you'd even bring her in here, she's fine". You need a doctor that's going to look into the problem from the inside.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I have had friends with babies very simiuar and my own daughter did some of those things..She hates to be restrained. I got no sleep and very little help but I will tell you anything that works do it. I used alot of baby einstein music and videos.Go to target.com and see what toys the have because if you can figure out the simple things that they love..Your forehead isnt as flat from the wall. Bright, loudish and musical were the only things that I know can help.I advise you take a B vitamin complex for yourself it helps alot with stress..Good luck and I am sorry that you have to go through this..S. A

1 mom found this helpful
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B.G.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I had many of the same problems with my second child, now 2 years old. The car seat thing got better when he was old enough to be turned around. He liked to be able to see. The carrier thing did okay if he could face forward but only occasionally. He still doesn't like the stroller but only because he wants to walk...we use a child "leash" because it keeps him safely in my reach. I thought he would always be an unhappy child but a lot of that has passed. He finally started sleeping longer at around 9 months when I put him in his own room. But he had to be ready to do it. Crying it out only made it worse because that stressed him out more and made him cling to me more. I still have to carefully work him into any situation in which I have to leave him. I have to give him lots of love and promise him mommy will be back. Then I leave him without turning back. If you turn back then she will learn that you will feel bad enough to come back and never learn to stay without you. She will get past the crying soon after you leave and something else has her attention. She will cling to you when you come back and try to make you feel bad. But the more you leave her and come back, the more she will realize that you will always come back. Just be sure that before and after being away from you that you spend some one on one time with her. It will help her feel secure in your attention and love for her. He is still a strong willed child but I have learned that if I keep him busy and his mind busy, he does better. He has to feel that he has my attention enough or he finds trouble to get it. This crying stage is just a stage. She will outgrow it. I am not saying she will ever be an "easy" child but you will learn to work together. Busy, independent children tend to be very smart children that need to continuously have their minds challenged. She will be a teacher's best student or worst nightmare depending on how well the teacher stretches her mind. My son is not a bad child and can do so many wonderful things. He is as lot of fun now as long as I remember that he needs to be occupied and busy. I am sorry I can not give you a way to fix this. I just hope to help you learn more about your daughter and give you some hope of this phase passing. Good luck. Try James Dobson's book "The new strong willed child". It will come in handy later. Just remember that every child is different. Love her for her differences and learn to develop a special relationship with this child all her own just as you did with your first. I have three children and all are different from each other. I have had to relearn parenting skills to suit each one and their individual personalities. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Hi J.! I see my response is about a month too late, but I thought I would see if it still helps. My daughter was just like that! She would only take 30 minute naps. I thought I would die. Luckily, she seemed to have grown out of it when she was around 7 months old. She started crawling and I think she needed more sleep in order to do so! She also HATED the car seat, strollers, anything constricting. The only thing she did like was the carrier that was attached to me! She has grown out of hating the stroller, and we got her a "big" girl carseat so she seems to like that better. She does not LOVE it by any means but she tolerates it. My daughter also has seperation anxiety big time. She did not like to be away from me either. She is starting to grow out of that a little (she is 9.5 months old), but it is still a struggle. I honestly don't know what to do about that, except still try to let other people hold her that I trust, etc. The doctor says it is okay. I don't know if she has already grown out of this phase for you already since this response is late, but that is all I had to do really. Hope this helps!

S.

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