"Do Monsters Have Keys to Our House?"

Updated on April 18, 2013
S.J. asks from North Hollywood, CA
26 answers

My son, 3, is terrified of monsters. I have no idea where it came from! I monitor his tv watching, library books, his friends are not going through a monster phase... No idea. At night we tuck him in and he asks if there are any monsters in the curtains. Then there are so many more questions- do monsters come out if the ground? Are there any monsters outside? Where are the monsters families? What is that shadow by the door? I've told him there are no monsters. Mommy and daddy are here to protect you. We would never let anything hurt you. We have all the windows and doors locked. I turn on star turtle. I have a nite light in his room. We have decided that fire doggie (fav stuffed animal) will bark and protect him. I ask him to show me the bark. It's really sweet. We say are prayer together. And then I distract him somehow. He calls me back to his room several times and it taking forever for him to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. It's hard to see him so scared. It's hard to be needed at the end of the day so much! Also he thinks about them during the day too. He said they are under the orange tree too. In the morning the first thing he says is, mom! there were no monsters last night! How do we get past this stage?!

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

No, they don't have keys to houses because everyone knows if a monster touches a key, the monster melts. It's like Kryptonite!

Time to mix up a batch of Monster Killer in a spray bottle.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Every kid, no matter what they watch or don't watch on tv goes through a phase of being afraid of monsters. Kids were afraid of monsters under the bed and in the closet before tv was invented. They all grow out of it, usually long before they learn that Santa isn't real.
You can tell a kid that monsters aren't real until you're blue in the face, but if the kid is convinced that he sees it, he's not going to believe you. Insisting that he sleep in a room where he believes he is in danger just to make him "work through it" is, IMO, cruel.
We made monster spray. A squirt bottle filled with water and "monster poison" (essential oil). We sprayed her window, her doorway, her closet, and under her bed before tucking her in.

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C.I.

answers from Fort Myers on

My daughter wasn't afraid of monsters, but my grandson was. I went to the $$ store & bought room spray. I told him that it was monster spray. He couldn't read, but the house smelled good. Then I bought the cone ones & removed the outer lable. I made a cover the said "monsters go away" & at that time I received a dream catcher in the mail. I hung it on the window in his room. Monsters can't get through a dream catcher. Nap time became much easier. Now, he is 7 & just (pretend) shoots them. But, he still likes his room to smell good. His fear is real, but he will outgrow it. Hang in there & good luck

1 mom found this helpful

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

"We have decided that fire doggie (fav stuffed animal) will bark and protect him."

So....you've validated that monsters exist by giving him protection from them?

Making "monster spray," giving extra night lights, remote controls, leaving doors open, checking closets and under the bed, and giving protective animals...all validates in your child's mind that monsters DO exist.

But they don't. So please consider just saying "there's no such thing as monsters. They aren't real, just like Spongebob isn't real. They're made up stories. You have nothing to be afraid of." Have discussions with him about real and pretend.

There were no monsters last night, because there's no such thing as monsters!

Don't play along with it. That's how you get past the stage.

4 moms found this helpful
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F.B.

answers from New York on

Your boy sonds precious. I really like the way he thinks, although it must be heartbreaking to see him so scared. Ours isn't showing any such fears as yet. I do remember though that the Dr. Ferber book had some interesting advice on this subject. It encouraged parents not to check under the bed or the closet etc for monsters. The thinking was that if monsters aren't real, why are mommy and daddy looking for them.

I don't remember the rest of it, but it's worth a look.

best to you and yours,
F. B.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

My son didn't go through monster fear. Not sure why. We do talk about real world and pretend world, though, and when reading or watching tv. We talk about how stories are fun, imagination is fun, etc., but that they're different from the real world, which is also fun (but in a different way). Hope that helps a little.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

He needs to have control. We literally gave that to our son. An old remote control, with glow in the dark buttons, that would have a red light that lit up when buttons were pressed. He could use it to "zap" away monsters. We also gave him some Monster-Go-Away spray that we would spray around the room before bed. Just as a hint, though - don't pick some God-Awful cologne that Daddy doesn't use because it smells bad. You may have to live with it for quite some time! Pick something you like to smell!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

What about monster's inc?
Shows that monsters aren't so scary mike and sully take care of boo.

And the book that comes to mind is " there's a monster at the end of this book" A favorite when I was a kid.
It's grover from sesame street and goes through how he's so scared, don't turn the page oh no what's at the end . and then shows how you don't have to be afraid of monsters.

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We had a bit of a monster phase, still a tiny once exists in our house. What has helped is that I shared my own "monster experiences" as a child and then related them to now, as an adult.

I told my daughter, "You know, I was sooooo scared of monsters at night, too. I thought they hid in my closet. It was so bad that if I had to go to the bathroom during the middle of the night, I would try to hold it until the next morning, no matter how bad I had to go. A couple of nights, I didn't make it and actually peed in my bed. But as a grown up now, I can share with you something VERY important and you can believe me that what I am telling you is 100% true, because I would NEVER lie to you: THERE ARE NO REAL MONSTERS IN THIS WORLD. Period. None! Zip! So you are 100% safe with Dad and I and nothing is going to happen to you at night. I promise you. Remember, I told you that I was scared as a child, too. And now, as an adult, I can tell you that you don not need to worry whatsoever."

I also agree with the other moms, validate his feelings, but don't validate that monsters exist because they don't. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

During the phase when my daughter was afraid of spooky things at night, I went away for a weekend to visit an aunt. There, I found a crystal fancy looking thing - you know you put it in the window and it reflects the light to a rainbow.... anyway.... I told her I got it from a kind witch who put a spell on it and it has magical powers to keep bad things out. And we hung it from the air vent on her ceiling, over the door. It's still there and there have been no more scairy things issues (besides bad dreams).

I think I'm going to have to get one for my son, who was traumatized by the story of the trouble-making, sneaky green leprechaun on St. Patricks Day.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My daughter (2 1/2) recently mentioned a monster in her room and acted a little scared about it. I said "Was it Elmo, Zoe, Grover, or Cookie Monster? Because I would love to have Elmo come to my room! How awesome is that!" She looked at me strange, thought for a minute, and that was the last mention we have had of it.
We did the same thing with my son when we started mentioning monsters in the closet around this same age. I just said "Everyone knows that monsters only live on Sesame Street- not your closet, silly!".
Maybe you can take that approach... "Yes, son, there are monsters. And they all live on Sesame Street. Did you know Elmo and Cookie Monster are monsters? Not scary at all!"
Hope this helps!

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Buy him the book "Go Away Big Green Monster". I think it makes monsters a little less scary looking and gives them a different image. But, it also gives them the control of sending the monster away. That might help. I think there's also a video.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I absolutely second all the great ideas about giving him control. He is at an age where kids start to realize they do not control their universe and at the same time they are learning to assert themselves as individuals -- so let him be assertive with those monsters! Monster spray is great, and so is the remote control idea. I would add: Take him on a big, formal tour of the house before bedtime and let him make up his own special "spell" to say at the doors and windows and chimney or whatever: "Monsters, be gone" or whatever works for him, and he can use it with his monster spray.

As for the calling you back to his room, please just go when he calls. He needs to know you will always come to reassure him. He won't be doing this forever. It's a very, very normal stage for many kids so try not to get frustrated with being called back or he will feel he shouldn't call you -- and you don'tt want him to feel that way when he's in a stage where your reassurances are needed.

Also, be sure that his nightlight and glowing turtle aren't inadvertently undermining you! Sometimes nightlights cast weird shadows that kids notice. A blanket draped over a chair in his room, or a piece of clothing hanging on a doorknob, etc., can throw scary shadows in the nightlight's light, or the objects themselves can look very different. Stay in his room a while and see if there are any shadows thrown by objects in his room that he might see as scary. Things that look normal by day can seem to loom menacingly in different light. Also: Be sure his closet door stays firmly closed so it's not a dark hole in the night. Even a cracked open door used to worry my daughter at that age.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

The sock monster has a key to my house!

Kids imaginations are huge at that age...just trying to figure everything out.

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C..

answers from Columbia on

I used to give my daughter 3 *choices* of dreams before she went to bed. That was usually sufficient enough to keep her mind occupied until she fell asleep. and it was concrete enough that she could focus on what I'd told her dream about when her mind started straying to what might be in the closet.

So - she would say "what should I dream about tonight?" And I'd say, "you can dream about walking with your bear to have a tea party in France, OR playing on the jungle gym but instead of summer it's snowing, OR you and best friend are making cookies for your entire class and you have to go to the store and get all the ingredients".

We also had "fairy spray" which was just that glitter water perfume stuff. we would spray it around her bed to "protect" her.

I think alot of it though, it just waiting it out, unfortunately.

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J.S.

answers from Austin on

I tell both my LOs that there are good and bad monsters just like there are good and bad people. Give the good monsters some love! I actually use monster in a more positive light e.g. my LO is the elf monster because she does this little growl whenever she tries to scare away the things that scare her. Or she and her sister are the cookie monsters, or mommy/daddy are the snuggle monsters because we can't get enough snuggles.

I never had a night light as a child, my LOs don't either and my oldest is five. IMO it's more important to let them work through their fears therefore learning to cope rather than giving them a quick fix such as a night light. Just my opinion though.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

We had the monster phase..

We had a special blanket that had monster repelling rocks in it ( it was a weighted blanket, with fish rocks). we had monster spray that kept them away. And Papa ( my dad) and his friend George captured all of them and took them to the beach and put them in the garbage..

He is scared, and needs to know that you are there.

Good luck

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D..

answers from Miami on

How about the book "Where the Wild Things Are"? (Not the movie.) You can read it before he goes to bed. Emphasize that the little boy got tired of the monsters and left them and came back home where he was safe and sound, and the monsters stayed on their own island.

I used this book for a different purpose for one of my sons. When he had been a little beastie all day, I'd pull that book out and read it. He would be better behaved the next day...

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just a thought but has your son watched the movie monsters, inc? Since my son watched that movie he has never brought the word monster up again.. I would watch it with him and point out all the good/funny parts.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Never had the monster stage, but you either need to play along (what you are doing now) and ride it out or completely dismiss it. Not sure what the best tactic is, but be careful you are not sending mixed messages no matter what path you choose.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We went with the friendly guardian monster approach. Our monsters live in the closet, watch over us and come out to play when we are gone. Worked for us.

No matter what you do he will eventually grow out of it. He will NOT go to college believing that (imaginary) monsters live in his closet. So if you choose to 'validate' the monsters - no long term harm done.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I know when I was little i was scared of a lot of stuff. But my brothers played a roll in that. When you say your prayers with him just remind him that God is watching over him. And between the three of ya'll (you, your husband and God) he couldn't be safer. It still may not take all the fear but it might help. Also you monitor his TV but I am sure he see comertials that can be filled with lots of scary stuff. Good luck!!!

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S.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

I told my son that there are no monsters in our town. That is one of the reasons we live there

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My kids loved the DK Eyewitness videos we got from the library. There is a DK video about monsters. It explains what monsters are, what makes monsters scary and the mythology and science behind monsters. I always found that education was the best way to deal with fear. Knowledge empowers.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

A lot of kids go through this stage at about 3-4 years old. We gave our son a little spray bottle with water in it. We told him it was anti-monster spray, and if he saw any monsters he could spray them, and they would leave. It worked like a charm, and if a remember correctly (we're talking over 20 years ago here!), the monster phase was over in about a week.

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My son went through a few weeks when he was scared of bedtime monsters. I went and grabbed an old can of scented aeresol hairspray that I never use, and came back and told him it was "Monster Spray." I sprayed around the edges of the bed, and underneath it. That was good enough to get him through the rough patch.

ETA: We had been telling him already for over a year that monsters weren't real, but his older brother kept telling him that they were real. Monster Spray was a good solution. He no longer worries about monsters.

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