Do People Wear Pearls Anymore?

Updated on May 17, 2011
A.K. asks from Kingwood, TX
41 answers

My dear MIL got me some pearls, real ones and they are beautiful, and I love to wear them, even though I feel they are a little old fashioned.
She also decided to get her my niece (her granddaughter) some to wear to her prom. She is 16, and her prom was last week, the pics are on facebook, and she is not wearing the pearls. MIL is pissed, but I am thinking maybe kids don't wear pearls these days. I know it has hurt her feelings though. I am trying to appease her by saying she will always have them, and she will probably treasure them when she is older, but I think MIL would have held off of a couple hundred dollar purchase until she was older if she had told her she wasn't going to wear them.

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So What Happened?

Just want to clarify, this is not my daughter, but my niece, they live about 4 hours from us, so I have no say in it. If is were my daughter I definitely would have had a few "pearl pics" on hand!

Featured Answers

J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I love pearls. I think they are beautiful & very classy. Teenagers, probably not so much, but maybe the niece can save them for when she's older. They are lovely to touch.. I have a strand I dont wear too much, but I like the feel of them, & wouldnt want to part with them.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wore pearls to a Military Ball in high school, but it was a more classic affair than Prom ... Prom was more high fashion ... in short, I think of pearls and I think of classy/adult more than fun teen.

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I wear mine for formal occasions, but young girls are definitely more into diamonds and sparkly jewelry.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I do... I wear single pearls for every day life (baby blue tahitian), but the strands (mikimoto) I keep in the safety deposit box. They're worth more than my car, so they don't come out except for special occasions.

My personal opinion is that people just don't wear *jewelry* on a regular basis anymore. Young and dumb... you don't want to waste the money (or risk losing thing) spare money after tuition goes to (usually) entertainment/ dating expenses, just starting out there just isn't the money to waste (when you're having to buy *everything* for the first time; from furniture to spatulas to paying the plumber), getting married people are dropping 20k on a wedding (ouch) and a housing downpayment (in our area) is 100k, then it's the new family (oy... the expense of kids).... and while that's not *everyone* that's a large portion of the population. Even amongst the wealthier set dripping in jewels doesn't go along with being a professional woman... so a good portion of people even *with* the money to invest in jewelry aren't going to wear tennis bracelets with their scrubs, or cocktail rings in court, or strands of pearls, or diamonds in the avionics lab, or, or, or. Jewelry has become an accessory instead of a statement (love, power, success)... instead professional women with money to show tend to buy 2 thousand dollar shoes, and suits, rolex watches, or sports cars. Things that used to be what *men* bought to make a statement. And men, by and large, aren't buying jewelry for their sweethearts except to propose and for major anniversaries.

So too, jewelry used to be the "saftey net" of married women. Diamonds are a girls best friend type, because in case of emergency one could sell them at near face value. In PART that was why men bought women jewelry. It showed their continued investment in them (and trust, since if their wives walked so did the diamonds, pearls, sapphires).

So in everyday life young people aren't seeing women in tasteful jewelry... they're seeing multimillion dollar pieces on the red carpet that almost no one can afford... and they aren't aspiring to the gradual collection of valuable pieces. They buy cheap stuff that sparkles and costs $45. Paste. Which at some point in the last 30/40 years has lost the tackiness it used to carry, and become the norm. Jewelry isn't ***special*** to most people these days. Because by and large, it's cheap and disposable, and they don't *see* it.

True for all? Heck no. Just a trend.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I like them because A) I think they are sophisticated and B) I'm 37 years old.

I teach high school. No one wears pearls. Apparently the theme for our girls this year was tight, short, with 'statement' piece-type jewelry. Pearls really don't fit in with that trend.

She'll appreciate them one day but it was a little presumptuous of your MIL to expect a teen to wear them at prom.

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L.A.

answers from Memphis on

I don't think your MIL should be angry. Girls that age have their minds made up about what they will and won't wear, and certainly no grandma ever made one change her mind! There is NO. WAY. I would have worn something I didn't love when I was sixteen, no matter who gave it to me or what it cost.
I live in a college town, and I see girls wearing them all the time. However, jewelry is like anything else you wear, it's a reflection of what you like and what you feel your style is.
A gift-giver has no right at all to expect the recipient to use or display the gift. You are doing the right thing by reminding her that she'll treasure them years from now (maybe sooner!)

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I like wearing them BECAUSE they're old fashioned ;)

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

I absolutely love pearls. Very much.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I think pearls are gorgeous

It makes your MIL proud to see you wear something she gave you.

Sounds like MIL bought them expecting your niece to love them just the same. MIL bought them expecting them to be worn to prom. That is the problem...niece has her own expectations of her overall look for the prom. Appears to me that the pearls were not part of the ensemble for the night.

Once a gift is given you can not expect the receiver to live up to your expectations. If grandma is offended it is her own fault. I wouldn't get so involved in stuff like this. Grandma is sounding a bit controlling...especially with you saying she is "pissed" over this.

Maybe grandma will learn from this experience and instead ask the granddaughter to go shopping with her to buy what she would really want to wear to the next dance. I am sure that over time she will treasure the pearl gift...unless the drama filters her way and she will resent those pearls that her pissed off grandma gave her.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I LOVE pearls! They are beautiful. I have my set from my wedding day. I have a modern ring with 2 pearls & mounted on a twist of gold. AND I have a funky pair of earrings: black onyx triangles, sterling silver bead, & a pearl...awesome, awesome earrings!

Hang onto those pearls & one day, they will be appreciated! As for your MIL, it wasn't her prom.....

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J.U.

answers from Norfolk on

I do! I love necklaces of all kinds.

**She could of worn them for the picture at least. I know I would of made mine do that. Just so MIL could see them on her.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

my 18 yr old wears them and they look beautiful on her. She has an Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy, class about her, so pearls suit her personality. However, she opted for bling for prom. Prom is a little more over the top glam, rather than classic beauty. She will probably wear the pearls for graduation. That would be more appropriate. You're right, over the years she will treasure the pearls her gramma gave her. Sometimes when I really miss my mom or when i have a special occasion, I will wear a gold ring she left me. I dont like or wear gold, its not my style. But I wear it to be close to her and I treasure it. I've got to say, MIl really hs no right to be mad. When you give a gift, it's not with any expectation, right? It's a gift, not a bargain or requirement. I could understand that she would be disapointed, but you can't really tell a young lady what to wear to her one and only prom. That's kind of unfair.

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S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

You might also mention to your mother in law that the pearls will be gorgeous for your neice's graduation photos or Senior pictures. It bugs me when people give you a gift with a purpose or assignment attached to it.

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C.K.

answers from San Antonio on

Did pearls go with the prom dress? If not then obviously it would have been a mistake to wear them.
I have pearls, but I do not wear them except on special occasions. One reason is I do not think they go with just anything. Another reason is because they were passed down to me from my mother for my wedding, so they are special. I would hate to ruin my pearls, so I keep them put away most of the year.
I do agree that your niece will probably appreciate the pearls when she is older. Pearls are a timeless classic and a wonderful thing to have. She will likely cherish them when she is older.

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S.H.

answers from Killeen on

My hubby got me beautiful pearls for Christmas and I love them. However my daughter likes things that have pearl accents(headbands,shirts) but wouldnt wear a strand of pearls. Like you said I'm sure your niece will treasure them when she is older.

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M.P.

answers from Provo on

I LOVE PEARL!! They are soo classic. Maybe if the pearls were in a more modern setting, she would have liked them better. Plain ones, I can see teenagers looking "dated" but I would have worn them. If I had some I so would! I'm only 23 so I don't think I'm to much different then 16 year olds. . . maturity I certainly am. But tastes not really.
p.s. pass along the pearls to me ;) j/k

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I personally, have never been a "pearls" woman.
Whether it be a necklace or earrings.
Just my taste.

But sure, I do have pearls. GOOD real pearls. Will give it to my daughter. But I don't wear it personally.

Your MIL being pissed... well that is not her place to demand that your Niece wear it or when.
Once you give a gift, you cannot tell the person what to do with it or when to wear it or how to wear it.
And, if it is real pearls, then it is perfectly fine for someone to put it someplace safe and not wear everyday.

And yes, I don't see young kids wearing pearls, anymore.

For you, as an adult: well your MIL is really overbearing. You then feel you 'have to' wear it, just for her. And it is maybe not your style.

The whole problem is: your MIL. SHE chose to buy the pearls. It may be a generational thing, to buy pearls, since it is a classic heirloom type jewelry.
But she still cannot expect, her gift receivers to wear it nor when. AND she has to realize, that pearls do not go with everything. And a person can wear their other jewelry too.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I do - I have a strand that my FIL gave me from his late wife and I wear them for special occasions or very rarely for work, when I'm really dressed up for something. I would let your MIL (or have your niece explain, she's certainly old enough to) that they were too nice to wear to the prom, where girls usually where glitzy costume jewelry and don't have to worry about losing or breaking anything on the dance floor. Your niece can wear them to a special family gathering in the future and perhaps at something truly special, like her graduation.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I wear mine pretty much every day b/c they are classic and beautiful!

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Yes, people do. My high school alma mater is an upscale girls' boarding school, and they routinely post pictures of the girls at different events on the school's Facebook page. It is not uncommon to see the girls wearing pearls. So yes, teenagers do wear them. I have several strands myself, as well as several pairs of pearl earrings, and often wear them. the great thing about pearls is that you can wear them with almost anything - not so with gemstones, which can look tacky for daytime wear. It's too bad your niece didn't wear the pearls for prom! I can't imagine what she would have worn that would have looked prettier or more timeless.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Wow... your MIL needs to let go, a gift is a gift, no matter when it's worn. Kids seem to go for more glitter and sparkle these days, though, and so I'm not surprised the pearls were saved for another time.

In regard to "does anyone wear them?", I have a couple sets of pearl earrings and love them. One is a dangly set with garnets above them, and I bought them for myself years ago. Wore them daily for years and years. The other was an $8 pair of little pearls, also dangly and simple. I don't wear necklaces (my neck is not my best feature), so I can't speak to that. I am a bit more of a conservative dresser, too, so pearls might suit my 40 year old self better than a prom-going teen.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have tons of pearls and now that you mention it, I haven't worn them in YEARS! Not even my pearl rings. Hhhmmmm....not really sure why exactly, maybe they are not really "in" like they used to be.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Yes people wear pearls!!!
A girl of 16 is certainly old enough for such a nice piece of jewelry although it sounds like she might not appreciate them yet.
Did she just go out and buy them or was your daughter involved in the purchase?
You know....at the very least, your daughter could have put the pearls on with her dress and you could have taken a couple of pictures before she went out so that her grandmother would have pictures and be happy. She would never have known if she had decided not to wear them after all. As for the facebook pictures, she could simply have said that she put them in her purse for safekeeping.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but when grandmothers did things for my kids, I took pictures of them in the outfits or jewelry or whatever. That way, grandmas had a momento and it made them happy.

It won't be the same, but perhaps you can have your daughter wear the pearls for a couple of her senior portraits taken especially for her grandmother.
Have a nice photo taken of your daughter in her pearls WITH her grandmother. I'm sure you can find a way to show grandma that the pearls were appreciated.
If your daughter takes good care of them, those pearls will be around a lot longer than her grandmother and she will be glad someday that she showed her grandma she appreciates them.

Best wishes.

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I love my pearls! That said, I'm new at them and I am afraid to damage them (sweat, perfume, ect.) so until I get the learning curve down (you can pm me with wear, tear and care advice if you want!!!) , I only wear them for special occasions when I know the weather isn't hot enough for me to sweat!

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Jewelry is personal and different people have different tastes. Too bad your MIL does not understand that. It would have been nice though of your niece to take a photo before she went with the pearls on to send to her grandma. Oh well, maybe she can still do this after the event. Anyway, I don't wear classic pearls...not my style. But I love the natural pearl look... those odd lumpy little pearls off all different colors that are now in some earrings/necklaces.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Aw tell your poor MIL she loves her pearls and will treasure them forever.
They are a treasure trove and almost like an heirloom.
Kids, for the most part, don't wear them for their prom but she WILL wear them and the point of the gift is to have them not to determine when they wear them.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

If your niece was my daughter she would have worn them for a few pic and if I were your niece I would have been worried about possibly losing them so I would have done ome pictures with friends then given them o my mom to take home they do pics on the town common here then everyone is bused to the prom to help cut down on drunk driving.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Yes people still wear pearls. Just wore them last weekend. They are classic. Never go out of style. A 16 yo is not into pearls. However,
eventually she will love them and use them. She will have them forever and
probably pass them down to her daughter. So tell MIL not to fret.

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T.G.

answers from Pueblo on

I love my pearls! And my daughter is 15yr old and she rocks the pearls too! I just think its just a form of like/dislike.... and I LOVE mine!!
Rock "em Momma!!

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

pearls are very much in style now, check out the jewerly at teen and young adult shops (forever 21, wet seal ect) they are not real pearls but the faux pearls are on a lot of the jewelry

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I love pearls - they have always been my favorite. I have some that were my mother's, some real, and some really good simulations that I wear with certain outfits, to dressy events, etc. I also have some pearl earrings and smaller necklaces that I wear very often with office and day wear.

But it is a matter of personal preference. Maybe your niece didn't think they went with her dress, or she had her outfit all picked out down to the jewelry.

Maybe she could have some sweet 16 portraits taken wearing the pearls and give a framed photo to your MIL.

God Bless

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Pearls are a more mature thing, that's for sure. I had fakes to play with growing up, then abandoned them until well into my 20's and working on a career. I can't see a 16yo appreciating them, muchless any precious jewelry.

B.B.

answers from Evansville on

I love pearls! :) However, your MIL was wrong to expect the pearls to be worn to the prom. Your niece didn't ask for them and I could see MIL's point if the pearls were a gift to wear for a special occasion involving your MIL, but she had no idea whether the pearls would even compliment your niece's prom dress. I hope your MIL gets over it soon. Best wishes! :)

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R.H.

answers from Memphis on

In the south (well, in SC, NC and GA) it is traditional to receive a pearl necklace on your sixteenth birthday.

I don't think they are old-fashioned. What would you clutch if you didn't wear your pearls?

Remember pearls before six and diamonds after six! :-)

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I've never liked pearls myself (and I'm in my 40's), they are a little too frou frou for me. Today's teens are not into pearls, they wear cutting edge , modern jewelry. Pearls wouldn't go with the prom dresses that are out there today, this isn't the era of taffeta and chiffon. My 16 year old would not wear a pearl necklace. If MIL didn't check with her granddaughter first to see what kind of jewelry she wanted, she really shouldn't be annoyed. It's not the 60's anymore and that's not what teens wear. I think grandma meant well but didn't consider today's styles and the teen shouldn't wear something she doesn't want to prom just to appease grandma. It's not right to be angry with someone just because they don't share your taste/style. Your niece may never like pearls.

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B.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I still love pearls and wear them every chance I get! They are and always will be a classic. However, I can imagine a lot of 16-year-olds I know that would not want to wear them to prom. I think there is some sophistication necessary to appreciate them. Try to console your MIL with the notion that her granddaughter will truly appreciate them some day - and with the fact that they are still safe and sound! Sixteen may not be old enough to be responsible for nice jewelry like that! They are probably something that should be kept by her mom and brought out on special occasions when she is with family.

But YOU should wear them and feel perfectly current - classics don't go out of style! PERIOD. :)

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I personally love pearls and I wear pearl earrings daily. I do think the pearls were probably not the style for her prom dress and maybe she was afraid they would get lost or broken at such an event. Maybe you could approach it that way with your MIL. To think the girl cherishes them enough to not want them harmed at such a young event. You may also inform the mother to make sure she wears them for pictures of other kinds like graduation, or birthdays so MIL sees they are appreciated.

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

They go in and out of style for teens - remember Madonna in the 80's? I thought they were in style recently, but who knows!! I feel for MIL AND the niece -- as a teen, I hated when i was given clothing that I didn't like and felt obliged to wear. What you're telling MIL is the only thing you can do! Except maybe persuade your niece to wear them to something else and get those pix taken??! Or have a portrait done as a keepsake for MIL?

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I only like pearls sometimes (mostly black south sea). I am a diamond girl (it's also my birthstone). I do however have a friend that wears them every day. She loves them, and I never thought twice about it being old fashioned. Maybe the pearls just didn't look good with the dress? Like sometimes a necklace will look funky against a certain neckline on a garmet.
My MIL gave my daughter a real gold bracelet and gold and pearl earrings for her first Christmas, and I have never put them on her. I tell her that I am afraid if her losing them, so definately when she gets older she can wear them. I hope your MIL feels better about it soon.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I love my pearls! I got my first pair of pearl earrings for my 16th birthday. I wore them along with a second pair (double pierced ears) that matched a necklace I borrowed from my grandmother. When she passed on I inherited the necklace and matching earrings. I have worn pearls for all manner of special occasions and I wear them just because sometimes too since getting my first pair at 16. I think they are so beautiful.
I thinking it was a personal choice on the nieces part.

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