Do You Go to Church?

Updated on May 24, 2011
P.S. asks from Houston, TX
40 answers

I try. There is one 3 minutes away that has an awesome children's program. My son begs to go to church and stay for both services! And he comes home excited about the lessons he learned. Who can say no to that?

But my husband and I can't get into the sermons. The music is awesome - its a good mix of praise and worship and a few traditional hymns. But the sermons are simply boring! (sorry). The pastor has ADD and even though he's on ADD meds and I think wears an earpiece so someone off stage can remind him to get back on track if he "wanders", it is still hard to follow him. My husband and I have no trouble listening to people - we are fairly intelligent people who went to good colleges and held down good jobs and did well at both. So it baffles us we can't keep up w/this pastor.

We'd love to find another church but we are kind of out in the country and really only have a few choices before considering churches over an hour away.

We are sticking it out over the summer b/c of our son. I guess in the end, we will go for him so he can get his teaching and Bible lessons.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Wow, it looks like one of the negative comments disappeared. Was it an act of God or a judgement from the Mamapedia powers that be? Anyway, thanks you guys for your responses. I had no idea what I was going to get when I posted and its nice to see I got more support than judgement.

Right now, I don't feel I can leave this church just yet, only b/c alot of my son's friends attend and he loves it. I love all your suggestions - I do pray about my attitude when I go, I don't have the timeframe to get involved right now than attend on Sunday mornings but hopefully I can soon, and I do read my Bible when I feel the need to tune out. I have read through the entire Old Testament since Jan and have gotten so much out of it :)

More Answers

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

How frustrating that must be. And, how wonderful that the Holy Spirit is working in your son! Children have such amazing faith! It is so great that you are encouraging and allowing him to continue to learn about his creator and saviour. I am so sad to hear things like what Amy K. said, because it's not true. If your son continues to go to church, and you continue to have a positive attitude about it, he will be a positive person who spreads God's love to others.

Why not give the other nearby churches a try? If you are not crazy about them, or they do not have good programs for kids, summer is a great time to try out the not so close ones. Just consider the time in the car some quality family time! You may find it's worth it, especially if you find a loving, supportive church family.

I could not live without my relationship with God, and my church. We get so much support and feel so loved there. I pray you will find this too. Most of all, God WANTS to be in a relationship with YOU, your husband, and your son! God's blessings to you!

3 moms found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, we go to church, and I do think it's important to find a place you like as parents! Kids really seem to respond well to church:-)

3 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I do and finding a place where everyone connects is very important.

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

We go. I don't have that issue. I can see whee that would be problematic. I don't like to go to curch when I don't feel I'm getting anything out of it either. But one precher put it in perspective for me. He reminded me that it is not a pep rally or meant for entertainement value, but "worship." We dont have to necesarily get anything out of it if we are there to worship. It's just an act of obedience and a chance to show gratitude to the maker for all he has given us. That perspective has served me well when we've had the occasional guest pastor that was an oddball. :) It's still a good family activity, provides continuity and a sense of tradition that we pass on to our kids, I think it's great for my kids to see my husband and i in church. I want them to have that opinion of us. I want to give my kids a background in church. A foundation. It's not always fun or convenient, but it is great for our family as a whole. Hope that helps. It's great that you are giving that to your son.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Amy K's comment was uncalled for

My family & I love going to church we very seldom don't go. It took us 2 years to find a church that *fit* all of us, but we succeeded.

It's awesome that you are mindful that your son wants to go & is excited about learning. Do your best with what you have in your location & hopefully it will all work out.

2 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I've spent my life going to and looking for pastors online and in person. I have so many reasons why going to church in the real world is a big problem. Now that my allergies to perfumes have gotten to the point of being unbearable, I'm almost a total shut in outside of the park and grocery store.

But I learned something in the last year. Try a variety of preaching styles. Some have never made a big difference in my life. But when the Lord helps you find someone that really speaks to you, it's HUGE. Since I've figured out what style of preaching lifts me up, edifies me, educates me, and even EXCITES me, I'm so much better off. With so many churches online it's easy to find messages to listen to. I know, it's not the same. But it has to be for me and so many others in the world.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I go to rituals with my de facto coven when I can, but the circle meets an hour's drive away, and I can't always afford the gas.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

If you are going to church for the right reason, TO WORSHIP GOD, the sermon itself is not the most important part. You need to look at it as WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING/GIVING TO GOD at church. NOT, what am I getting out of this........ (This coming from our sermon TODAY!)

Perhaps try joining a bible study through the church and you may start to learn more there and be able to fellowship and worship more easily at church....

Good luck!

PS> And yes, we go to church. I feel like I've missed something really important in my life if we miss a week.......

2 moms found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Yes, we go almost every Sunday. I go to a very small non-denominational church. I'm one of the several volunteers that teaches our Children's Church (Sunday school). I love it! I love my pastor and I love our church community. It took us a LONG time to find this church though. I don't think I would be able to attend a church where I didn't get anything out of the sermon. I did that for way too many years in the Catholic church that I attended as a kid. (Not that all Catholic churches are bad, just the one I went to.)

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

every day. my church is the shrines i have around my house and yard, my hearth, the earth outside under my toes, my circle of trees and the sky.
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

If it does not speak to me then I do not go, so for now I do not go.

1 mom found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like you need a new Church.

We do attend almost every weekend. We are committed to see what God's plan is for us to use for our following week ahead. It is what I believe that Church is an ice berg of your faith . I have much more of an obligation to have a relationship with Christ outside the church and then the sermons then are added or give me something to follow . In another words it is extra food for thought for what is already exsisting in my life. That is just my thoughts on this subject.

1 mom found this helpful

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Nope. I've only been in a church for weddings.... that's probably weird to some people.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

Yes every Sunday morning and evening. Wednesday we (me and my kids) go and sometimes we go to Friday services at another church. My kids count down the hours from Sunday morning to Sunday evening service and get mad when we don't go on Fridays. They get disapointed when Wednesday nights goups go on a break every couple months. Our pastor is amazing though and that makes a difference. I agree you should take a look at other churches your son may like the childrens church just as much as the current one you are attending.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I don't go right now. Mostly because of where I'm at. No offense to anyone on here who is mormon, I love the moral ethics in the religion. When I went to the church though I got dirty looks bcuz of my tattoos (they aren't offensive tattoos at all) and I felt like they were trying to sell me a product. Out of an hour sermon (an hour after songs etc) God was talked about for 10 minutes and that left a sour taste in my mouth. There's not really other churches here so I don't go. I love pentacostal type churches. I used to go to a baptist church and loved it. It was so lively and the preacher could seriously preach. I hope to find a church like this again one day so my daughter can grow up going to church. Right now I'm reading a study bible my friend gave me and reading a book god came near. After college I may move to oregon and then I can go to my best friend's foursquare church and see if that's a good church.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

By all means stick with the neighborhood church where your son is comfortable and happy and growing. Use the sermon time to meditate if you need to. When he's gone off to college is time enough for you and your husband to change.
The worst preacher I ever knew....long boring sermons in a quiet monotone...was the kindest and most loving of pastors. He was there in times of need and of joy for everyone in his congregation. Preaching is not the only job requirement of a priest or minister's job.
Our children loved the youth group at our church and made lifelong friends there. Nurturing our children's spiritual life needs to take first place in our lives in their developing years.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I've gone to church all my life and each one has it's own personality. I applaud you for sticking with it for your child. Our journey as Christians is an evolving process so if it takes a child to encourage us to go, so be it. Pastors come and go so try not to let him become a deal breaker. Another huge perk is meeting other families and fellowship activities. This will be good for your son as well as yourselves. It's great that you love the music! I personally, CRAVE worship music, it gives me a deeper level of worship so it's great you have that. Since your options are slim, hang in there. By summer's end you might find you enjoy it more than you think. Again, my hat is off to you for trying. Those first steps are often wobbly.... :)

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

we did switch churches for opposite reasons. our son could not stand the nursery which was very out of the ordinary for him. switched churches and no problem at all.

have you tried praying about keeping your on track with this man? are you just board? have you tried changing places or getting involved, choir, offerings, servers. something that can keep you busy behind the stage. or even helping in the nursery or with the kids in the back. you might get more out of church that way.

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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

You've gotten so many responses already, & not sure if I am repeating... Have you tried looking on line to find sermons that you like? My church puts every sermon on their website each week, so if my daughter is sick or for some reason we can't go, I watch it on line. You could look at some of the bigger churches that do this & then you & your son both get what you need.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

By all means stick with the neighborhood church where your son is comfortable and happy and growing. Use the sermon time to meditate if you need to. When he's gone off to college is time enough for you and your husband to change.
The worst preacher I ever knew....long boring sermons in a quiet monotone...was the kindest and most loving of pastors. He was there in times of need and of joy for everyone in his congregation. Preaching is not the only job requirement of a priest or minister's job.
Our children loved the youth group at our church and made lifelong friends there. Nurturing our children's spiritual life needs to take first place in our lives in their developing years.

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J.C.

answers from Nashville on

We used to go to church then after my baby was born she got colic and made it nearly impossible to attend church. She scream the whole time. Once things started to calm down with her we started getting negative comments every sunday from this woman claiming in so many words that we were bad parents and the reason she cried a lot. So we haven't been back since and have been looking for a new church. It's so discouraging b/c we want our daughter to have a solid foundation in God but at the same time we are tired of putting up with the bull from some people. Turning the other cheek can only last so long before you need a break from people. We are very skeptical of church in general but we don't love God any less.

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

we do, I grew up in a small church about 40 people and most of them were related in some ways, small town. I knew that church was very important to hubby and his family and since his was closer, we agreed taht when we got married we would attend his, 400 people and a different denomination and a much more affluent membership. It's been 12 years and i still do with him every sunday and i can't say as i feel totally at home, don't really have any friends my age/ life situation, and i haven't always cared for the sermons or worship style. But I go for my husband and my kids and even if i'm bored or annoyed sometimes, It is one hour of my week, and i am able to maintain my sprituality myself or sometimes something from church or ss will speak to me.

It has been my experience that pastors/ministers don't often stay in one church for their whole career. Depending on how long this guy has been there and how young he is, and how happy the rest of the congregation is with him, you might find him leaving in the near future. Another option would be to become involved in what ever committe deals with him and his employment and work to improve him or replace him.

If you get enough out of everything else the church has i would stay, instead of trying to follow him use that time during the sermon to read the bible or pray/mediate ( just don't fall asleep heehee). I'm assuming that he is just confusing not that he is up there spouting off about race or poltics in an offensive way??

I hope you find a good solution and i applaud you for being such a great mom to your son.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i searched for awhile for a church for us close to home, and it just was never the same. i ended up just making the decision to go to my family church (currently 4 generations attend) which is about 40 minutes away. for 1x per week, i will do it. my son loves it too, and i have never really "enjoyed" any church, but this one is the closest to that sooo...but the downside is we can't go every single week. if i need to go to my mom's on any other day, i have a hard time making the drive again on sunday. we usually do about 2 out of 3, or maybe 3 out of 4 sundays.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You might also find a church that has a different preaching style and either listen to podcasts online or go 2 weeks at the first church for the kid programs and 2 weeks to the other one for yourselves. The church I currently attend has an OK kid program, but there aren't so many kids - something that didn't bother me til I had DD, so I may attend a friend's church sometimes for that while sticking with my pastor that I like most weeks. Also, if you like other things about the church, you might want to see how long the pastors stay. If he's likely to move on in the next year or so, then stick it out.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

My family and I do regulalry...I know what you mean about the sermons. Depending on the speaker some messages go better than others. I would encourage you to look at a small group in the church to dive into the word that way. If it does become too much before you uproot your son check out other churches in your area to see where you get the most out of it...Blessings.

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, we go, and we have one pastor who seems pretty ADD (we joke that he needs a "sermon air-traffic controller" to prompt him when he's heading off course ;-)). And yeah, that part's frustrating, but honestly I think DH and I both feel we get more out of our small group Bible study than we do out of the sermons anyway so it's not a deal-breaker for us. They have a great children's program (in spite of the fact that they have goofballs like my DH & I helping out in it LOL) which is one of the church's priorities so we'll pick that over a church that has awesome preaching for the adults but doesn't invest much time or energy into the children's programs.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

We just started going to a really great church.
One thing that may help following him is writing things down and taking notes.
You might just need to try other churches.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

yes, regularly. But my son is now in college in Huntsville and also hasn't found a church he likes there.
While you are deciding what to do, you might want to check out my church's online campus. We have 5 online Worship gatherings Sunday 8:30, 10, 11:30, 7 CT and Monday 8 CT at http://www.christfellowshiponline.tv.
Our pastor is an awesome teacher. I have never been bored in more than 12 years of listening to him.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

By all means stick with the neighborhood church where your son is comfortable and happy and growing. Use the sermon time to meditate if you need to. When he's gone off to college is time enough for you and your husband to change.
The worst preacher I ever knew....long boring sermons in a quiet monotone...was the kindest and most loving of pastors. He was there in times of need and of joy for everyone in his congregation. Preaching is not the only job requirement of a priest or minister's job.
Our children loved the youth group at our church and made lifelong friends there. Nurturing our children's spiritual life needs to take first place in our lives in their developing years.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

All I can say is I feel you!! We were church hunting for like a year and just couldn't find a fit. We had the same thing, there was a church literally around the corner that was great as far as the music and children's ministry, but the preaching...not so much. Just wasn't for us. In the end, we drive 45 minutes to church bc we love the teaching and our kids are happy there as well. We just had to suck it up bc to me at the end of the day the teaching at a church is the most crucial part. Having to listen to a sermon that was boring or just didn't make sense would have been like going on a date, before I was married of course, where the guy was nice looking, had a job etc but we had nothing to talk about. There wouldn't have been a second date! I think content is very important, personally. Good luck, I know it's hard! But we did the same as you guys, until we found a church to call home, we just took our son to church wherever bc we didn't want him missing out, you know. I go to church in Spring, don't know what kind of drive that is for you but here is the website, good luck girl! http://revivalhousechurch.org/

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A.P.

answers from Boise on

Does the church have a program for children to go to during the sermon? My church keeps everyone together for the music, and then releases the children for their own program so they don't have to sit through the sermon. If you don't care for the sermons, maybe you could get involved with helping with the children. I know my church really appreciates the help, and then I get to see my kids and watch them have fun and learn. You and your husband could try and get involved with a bible study or something for some "adult bible time" during the week. :) Remember, the pastor won't be there forever.

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B.T.

answers from Rochester on

We have an assistant preacher that is difficult to follow, too. I find that if I go to a sunday school class for adults during this time, it's more beneficial to me than struggling through a sermon.

Just a suggestion.

C.T.

answers from Detroit on

i don't go but every once and awhile. There alot of churches by my house of all demoninations but i just can't do it. I went to church on mothers day and they have small cafe, they have "suggested donation" prices. they have a little drop box that you put your money in. I got my sons juice box from one lady and put enough money for the juice and a muffin and i went to the next table to get him a muffin and the lady didn't want to give me the muffin, i guess because SHE didn't see me put the money in the box! and had to tell her 3 times what muffin i wanted. i guess she saw i wasn't going anywhere. she finally gave HALF muffin. i just looked at her for a minute finally just walk off. i get tired of going to church where "Christians" are supposed to be but they treat you like dirt, look down on you, don't like to speak because they have never seen you before. the list goes on and on. an i have been to every kind of church out here trying to find one that i am comfortable, and i havent found one yet! i do have a very personal relationship with God and i try to live me life right and that's about as good as it;s going to get and i;m fine with that.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

By all means stick with the neighborhood church where your son is comfortable and happy and growing. Use the sermon time to meditate if you need to. When he's gone off to college is time enough for you and your husband to change.
The worst preacher I ever knew....long boring sermons in a quiet monotone...was the kindest and most loving of pastors. He was there in times of need and of joy for everyone in his congregation. Preaching is not the only job requirement of a priest or minister's job.
Our children loved the youth group at our church and made lifelong friends there. Nurturing our children's spiritual life needs to take first place in our lives in their developing years.

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P.B.

answers from Houston on

Not sure where in Magnolia you live - I'm in The Woodlands. There's TONS of churches here to choose from and can't imagine that we're that far away....but then again, Magnolia is a large area. I'd try different ones. You didn't say how old your son is and there's children's programs at almost every church - some do scale back in the summer months though....once Kuykendahl is through to 1488, many in TW would be MUCH closer to you time wise. Yes, it's important to go for your son, but you need to get something out of it too. I'm assuming you attend an adult Sunday School class for at least one of the services. If not, that may help!!!!

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

We do, on Saturday evening. Just works better for us.

Have you already checked out the other nearby churches? I agree you should keep going if this is the best fit out of all of them...Maybe you and DH could check out some of the online pastors like SLM suggested.
We left a church because we were getting nothing from the message before. The church we are in now is very large and it is hard to connect.
No church is perfect. Pray! Pray for God to lead you where He wants you to be! :)

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Are you friends with your pastor? If not, you might think about introducing yourselves and getting to know him better. As you listen to him in friendly conversation, it might help clue you in on how to follow his preaching.

I go to church and good preaching is important for me, too, but I found that, when my children were young, it was MOST important for them to be learning and wanting to learn. Sometimes parents adjust their needs to their children's, and make up the difference in some other way - books, online resources, Bible Study groups.

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K.A.

answers from New York on

Yes we go to church and my son loves the childrens program there. They also have a great mothers day out program there that I like. We dont go every sunday but we do go about 2x week

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would say that trying other churches wouldn't hurt. I think visiting other churches on night's you don't normally go to this church would be good. It will give your child the stability and knowledge he still has his church home but you can start building a relationship with a new church gradually when you find one that has the right fit. He may always like this church the best but he may also develop friendships with a new church family too.

C.D.

answers from Columbia on

This question reminded me on an AVB song I listened to a lot as a teen. It said, "You can't go to church as some people say. A common terminology we use everyday. You can go to a chapple, you can sit on a pew, but you can't go to church 'cause the church is you."
I was raised a PGK (Preachers grand-kid) and love my church. My uncle, brother, and 2 cousins are ministers now. There have been times though that for one reason or another I felt really conflicted about going to church because there would be someone looking down their nose at someone else or even occasional cliques that made new people feel left out. I quit going for a while becuase I left church feeling like I needed to go to church. Meaning, I would get angry or upset about people and not focus on God, and then leave feeling like I needed to ask forgiveness for the bad attitude I was having. I took some time to study and pray at home and made sure I was where I felt like I needed to be and then I went back to the church when I felt ready to rejoin in fellowship. I think you need church in your heart and fellowship to grow and maintain.
It's hard to chose a building to attend sometimes, and hard to find a minister who is feeding your spiritual needs. Just remember, if he/she is inspired by God, then God will help you receive from it what was meant for you. I say hang in there if your son loves it and as others have mentioned, take notes and study up when you get home. There might be some jewels in there!

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