Do You're Kids Share a Room? How's That Going?

Updated on September 22, 2014
C.P. asks from Santa Rosa, CA
31 answers

We're going to have another baby in April. We have a 3 bedroom house. So our two girls who will be 5 and 3 I figure should share a room. I would love to buy a different bigger house. But I know its just not smart financially to do that right now. Right now they have their own rooms but usually choose to sleep together in the same bed anyways. So why not put their two beds in the same room? :) Anyways what's your experience with room sharing? At what age do kids need their own room? Was there any challenges with this?

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F.W.

answers from Danville on

I have 7 kiddos...

They ALL shared until college. Two boys in each of two rooms on bunks...and three girls on a bunk with a 'full' bed on bottom.

When we moved a number of years ago as eldest daughter was going off to college, the two younger boys still at home had the option of separate rooms. They still chose to share, but we separated the beds. The other room became a 'media/office/den' for them.

My youngest (twins) are the only ones home full time now. They just started having separate rooms.

There were no challenges really over the years. Just normal sibling stuff to be honest.

Kiddos are pretty flexible.

Best!

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D..

answers from Miami on

This worked great for us. I didn't want them to actually sleep together as they got older (plus, they liked their stuffed animals and they took up a lot of room), so I put the beds together in an L shape against two adjoining walls. They could choose to sleep feet to feet or head to head, whatever they liked best. They chose head to head. And doing an L made it so that there was plenty of floor space in the room for them to play.

My kids are boys and they stayed in these twins beds together until they were too big for twin beds, which in their case was when my older son was 10. Well, he COULD have stayed in the twin bed, but all his stuffed toys HAD to sleep with him, you see, LOL!

At the point that the older one really needed a bigger bed, we put them in separate rooms. You have girls and they don't get as big as boys as fast, so they can probably share for longer...

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My boys are 9 and 12 and have always shared a room. They also share toys and clothes. There have never been any issues. They only use their bedroom for sleeping, dressing and storing their stuff. I was thinking about letting my older son have a room of his own in the basement if he wants to.

My nephews shared a room until they were 16 and 17 years old and then their sister moved out one got her room. They got along really well and still do.

I don't think anyone ever really NEEDS their own room, unless they are of the opposite sex, then by the time they are tweens. When my parents grew up kids never had their own room. They didn't even have their own beds!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Three boys, one room. We downsized our debt and our house. All is good, and I'm so happy we blew off the debt for our wonderful small house. We are employing clever design ideas for small places, and our house is actually becoming a really beautiful and functional home.

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son and daughter shared a room from about ages 3 and 5 until they were 5 and 7, about two and a half years.
They had a blast to together! The room was painted a neutral color and they had bunk beds (I allowed them to pick out their own bedding, no need to match.) They each had their own dresser and shared a bookshelf and most toys.
They probably would have shared for another few years or so but we moved to a bigger house.
I think having your own space becomes more important when puberty sets in, around 11 or 12.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I first had my own room when I was 25 and in my own apartment, so I'm of the belief that kids never really "need" their own room. We have no intention of providing each of our children with their own rooms.

We have 4 kids and for the longest time, had 3 bedrooms. My oldest son and step-daughter had to share a bedroom until they were in high school because we literally had no where to put one of them. For the past year or so my oldest son has slept in a bedroom we built in the basement and SD has her own room. My 10 & 8 year old sons have always shared a room and probably will continue to do so until their older siblings are out of the house.

I bet your girls will love sharing a room...and congrats on your pregnancy!

4 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Our boys shared a room until they were 8 and 9. They were always playing together anyway...why spread the mess across two rooms?

Our experience is that it's best for kids to have their own rooms once they reach the point where their interests no longer mesh, they clearly show they need their own space, and one has vastly different ideas of cleanliness/neatness than the other. Also, when they aren't sharing, you can give them each a laundry basket for THEIR clothes and make them wash their own laundry without it getting all mixed up. That's nice. :-)

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Our youngest girls (8 and 10) currently share a room. They were in bunk beds but we recently changed the setup by building a 4 ft high, tee shaped pony wall. Their beds sit on either side of the wall giving them both a little private space as well as shared space. They get along fine and we have little bickering.

3 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

My kids don't, but I often wish they could (they're boy and girl and old enough where it wouldn't be a great idea anyway). But I shared a room with my sister until she left for college and it was awesome. Out of my three siblings, she's still the one I'm closest to now as adults. We fought and my dad eventually put a half wall up to give us our privacy and delineate the space, but really, it was a great way to grow up.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Our boys are 4 and 7 and share a bedroom. We have a 3 bedroom home and opted to make one room a playroom and the other a bedroom. They play in both rooms and can separate if they want.
I think the bunkbeds help, as the older son "claims" the top bunk, but they have always shared just about everything and have not had any problems sharing the bedroom.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We gave our boys the choice of sharing a room about 2 years ago - we had the space for each to have their own, and up until that time, they had each been in their own rooms. They jumped at the chance to share a room. They seem to love it (ages 8 and 4).

I figure that at some point, they will probably choose to separate again (doable for us since we have the space). But I don't see it happening anytime soon.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I shared a room until I was in 10th grade, and then only had my own room for a few months before we moved again and I had to share again (military brat here). I really wanted nothing more than my own space once I was older. The ages of your kids now, totally fine.

We have a 4 bedroom house (5th bedroom in the basement so I don't count it since we don't use it for that right now). Our kids are 11 (girl), 9 (boy), and 7 (boy). The boys wanted to share a room so we let them share. It lasted maybe 4 months and they wanted their own space again...probably 4 and 6 when they wanted that.

So it's not horrible to do it, tons of people grow up sharing a room. But if you CAN have enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own space, I HIGHLY recommend it. I will never buy smaller than a 4 bedroom home so that we never run in to this.

Congratulats on the new addition!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I shared a room with my younger sister (22 months younger than me) till about 5th grade before I grabbed a sleeping bag and REFUSED to share a room with her anymore.
Sharing a room with her was hell.
For awhile sharing might work out but you have a room for each kid - you might as well plan to give each their own so they have their own space.

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K.J.

answers from New Orleans on

We have a 3 bedroom house also. And 4 kids( 2 girls and 2 boys). When we brought our home back in 2010 we just had 3 kids. The older 2 girls and our 16 month old son. We made the agreement to make a girls and a boys room. Fast forward to April 2013 when we found out that our 4th child I was pregnant with was a boy. Now he's 13 months and soon will be sleeping in the boys room. Actually my 5 year old son will get up in the middle of the night and crawl in bed with his sisters. And my girls have their own beds but sleep together in the same bed. They never have a problem with sharing a bedroom and they are 7 and 8. But I know that will change.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My kids love sharing a room (all boys). In our last house my first two had their own until #3 came along. Then, #1 & #2 shared and #3 had his own. We had a guest room, but it was downstairs and I wanted the boys near me. When we moved last year, I asked my oldest (now 9) if he wanted his own room. He said he wanted to share with the youngest (now 4). So #1 & #3 share and #2 has his own room. They could all have their own rooms, but they like to share. They don't have toys in their rooms--just books. They have a huge playroom downstairs, so they really just sleep & read in their rooms. We tried to find a house with a bonus room so all 3 could share, but we couldn't.

My sis has a 3 bedroom house and twins. The twins share and the 3rd room is their playroom.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 2 girls share a room even though we have a room to spare. I think it's nice for them to have company (age 4 and 7). They can "share" the bedtime routine and the tucking in- reading stories and all that. The 7 year old has expressed a desire for her own room, but really only half-heartedly. We'll probably wait a couple more years to split them up.
It works out great for us. A lot of their playthings and art supplies etc are in other rooms of the house, so their room is pretty much beds, clothes, books and stuffed animals. They do like to hang out in there, but mostly it's a place to hunker down in the evenings for bed. No challenges.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

They never have to have their own rooms. Hating a room is fine. They are 2 years apart. Will always have lots in common.

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J.S.

answers from Austin on

My girls (6.5 and 3.5 years old) share a room and they miss each other if one is missing =)

That being said, they both have similar schedules so neither is staying up later or waking up earlier than the other. However even if they were, the other would have to adjust accordingly.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I shared a room with my sister from the time she was 18 mos (I was the newborn) til she moved away to college. We shared again my Sophomore year of college when we moved into a 1 bedroom apartment together. The only time we had difficulty with it was when we shared a Queen bed and she drew an imaginary line down the middle and enforced it with all the vigilance of a North Korean soldier along the DMZ.

We have a 4 bd house, but only 3 bedrooms are on the same level. We have 4 boys sharing 2 rooms. We intend to have some of them always sharing, even after we move into a bigger house in the next few years. We like having them learn to share in such a way.

*Added* My freshman year of college I lived with 3 of my best friends in a 2 bedroom dorm room. We put all the beds in 1 room and used the other as our tv/hang out room. I think that having to share with my sister growing up helped me to be a great roommate for my friends.

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K.P.

answers from San Francisco on

kids share rooms all the time, it's only a big deal if you make it one. My oldest boys had their own rooms, but always slept together anyways, so I doubled them up and made a play room. FF and their sister arrives and out goes the toy room. 15 years and 2 more brothers a bigger house, and they still share a room (they are 15 and 13). They complain, they fight, they figure it out.

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A.R.

answers from Hartford on

Its fine to have your girls share a room since they're so close in age I remember sharina room with my sister until we moved to abigger house. My girls share a room too. The only struggle was one was they had different bedtimes. But this should not be a problem since they're so close in age

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B.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

I grew up in a very large family and I shared a bedroom with three sisters. We had two sets of bunk beds. Some of my best memories of my childhood were at bedtime. We would make up games and try to not laugh too loud so we wouldn't get caught. I am still very close with these sisters. I think your girls will be just fine sharing - that is until the teen years come when they will fight like cats and dogs over who took whose makeup, clothes, etc.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

At this age they're pretty close to the same developmental stages. It should be a good match if they get along.

There isn't the issue of choke hazards since the youngest is 3 now. Although if she does still put stuff in her mouth you're going to want to wait to put them together until she stops that so much.

But you'll have to watch the baby when it starts getting out. Their room will need to be off limits completely. Their toys will be choke hazards for the baby for the first 3 years.

I think this is a good idea. I do think that in a few years you're going to want to consider a larger house. IF the kids bedroom in your current place is large you could put all 3 of them in one room and make the other room a play place. But I'd rather have enough bedrooms so they could have a room to themselves once the older one is around 8 or so. That way when they start having sleep overs it will work out better.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

We have 4 (now pretty much grown) daughters and they ALWAYS shared bedrooms (2 per). Our oldest two have been out of the house for over ten years (they're both in their 30s) but our third daughter just graduated college and is back home. She still shares with our "baby", now 21 when the youngest is home from school.

Has it always been easy? Heck, no!! But it worked. Did the girls always like it? Again, heck no! Still, I think working through things with their sibling roommates made our girls much more tolerant of others, better able to stick up for themselves, better communicators and MUCH better prepared for living at college. The youngest two especially are very, very close sisters and excellent friends.

You are NOT doing a disservice to your kids in making them share a room. You're giving them a great education. For the last 12 years we've lived in a house with an extra bedroom, meaning our girls could easily have had their own rooms. Instead, we chose to continue the sharing. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Alissafey,

Congrats on the baby!!

Since you have two girls - there is nothing wrong with them sharing a room.

My boys, ages 12 and 14, do not share rooms. They did for about a year - even though we have a 5 bedroom home, they were young (2 and 4) and liked being together - as soon as the youngest was in Kindergarten? He wanted his room - we had the space so we separated them.

Even though they do not share now - we have bunk beds - my oldest has the kind with the full sized bed at the bottom that converts to couch.

When I was younger, I shared a room with my sister. There are plenty of things you can do to save space and eliminate "challenges"

Bunk beds -
corner beds
http://us.yhs4.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=ironsou...

make sure you have a closet system set up. I know it sounds funky - but we had one so that each had their own side. The one we set up had 4 drawers in the middle so each had two drawers. They liked it so much that when we separated them? we put it in the other bedroom too.

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Not anymore, no. When we lived in Southern California, yes. We had a 3 bedroom home for six people. It was cramped.

Here in Georgia, we were able to purchase a 6 bedroom home with acreage, something we would have never been able to do with in Southern California without winning a huge lottery.

We used bunk beds in California. You should try that with your daughters if you cannot afford to buy a bigger home.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My kids were the same, they had their own rooms yet slept together every night, so now they, by choice, have one sleep room with their electronics in it (their tv, computer, ect) and one play room where they keep and play with all their toys. In your case you won't have the play room option so organization will be important, but the kids should be just fine with it.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My sister is three years younger than I. We shared a room from the day my parents brought her home to the day I got married and moved out. We both hated it.
We had very different tastes in practically everything. We had no privacy. We had no personal space. We had nowhere to go if we wanted/needed to be alone.
I would never force kids to share a room long term.

Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

My girls are 4 and 7. Mostly the sharing of a room is fine. They chose to share because they wanted bunk beds. They do get a little chatty if they go to bed at the same time or if they both sleep on the bottom bunk (double size) but otherwise no major issues.

I'm guessing that once the oldest is maybe 11 or 12 we will separate them (unless they are happy staying together).

T.K.

answers from San Francisco on

We have 3 daughters, 9, 6 and almost 5 (14 months apart, surprise! ) we lived in a 3 bedroom apartment when the baby was born so both older girls shared a room. The middle child was a little young to be sharing with her big sister because of the sleep schedules. When the baby was sleeping 7 hours a night i switched the rooms so the two babies shared. That worked out best for us and now the youngest 2 are the best of friends. A year ago we moved into a much bigger home and they still choose to be together. I think, as many have said previously, that sharing space like this helps prepare our kids for the real world. Teaching them that they have everything they need, not anything they want, is a valuable life lesson that will allow kids to grow up into adults that know how to adapt to any situation.

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L.P.

answers from Louisville on

We have our 8 month old and his most 4 yr old brother sharing a room at the moment.

It's gone quite well for the most part as they're both pretty deep sleepers. The only time there is a real issue is when YDS wakes up, as he doesn't fall asleep as easy as his big brother unfortunately.

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