Does Anyone Else Out There Choose Not to "Do" Anything Halloween?

Updated on October 17, 2007
C.R. asks from Rowlett, TX
12 answers

I really would like to get some input from some other moms who have chosen not to do anything Halloween. And that includes Harvest and Fall parties in place of calling it Halloween.
I have a three year old boy that is asking about the whole Halloween thing. He sees bones, pumpkins every where we go and we've had several people asked him about what he is going to be for Halloween so it made him curious about it.
For all you that are wondering why I am making a big deal out of it, I am a Christian and I can't really see anything Christian about it. Too me it's based on fear and death something that goes against the teachings of my faith. I also don't feel right with doing anything that resembles it such as Fall/Harvest parties where costumes and such are involved.
Can anyone understand my convictions? If so, can you tell me what you told your children at this age?
Thanks,
C.

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So What Happened?

Well I think that some have misread my request. I was asking if anyone that shared my convictions could please tell me what you told your children regarding Halloween. I was not asking if I had made the right decision.
I think I am just going to continue to be honest with them and try and not give too much info right now while they are so young. We have always given out candy with small tracts to the children that come to our door. I think it would be awesome if our children took part in this as well when they are older. For now there are too many fears that can be brought about by seeing some outfits that come to the door.
I think that a great family night would be something that we could do. I'm still not too sure about the church costume gatherings. Why do we have to dress up in costumes to celebrate fall? Hummmm.
Anyway thank you for all of your replies and comments. As always most are very thought provoking.
C.

More Answers

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M.

answers from Dallas on

I think, personally, kids should not have parent's religion forced upon them...at least not to the extent that they are missing a basic tradition like Halloween. They should be allowed to explore all avenues and learn many things and make informed decisions later on.
Secondly, Halloween is not anti-Christian...if you would learn more about it, it has it's roots in the Catholic-dominant tradition (and mostly Mexican tradition) of Dia de los Muertos...or day of the dead. Here, dead are honored and remembered in a light hearted way. Just food for thought...I think forcing a kid to miss Halloween when all of his friends will be enjoying it (Christian and non-Christian alike) is just not healthy. In fact, it will make the child like their parents less when they get older and discover that the parents had sheltered them their whole lives. It has nothing to do with anti-Christian values...it is a fun holiday that almost all kids celebrate. What I compare it to is parents that choose to raise their kids as vegans or vegetarians because they are. Not only is it not healthy for the child at that age to be missing a lot of nutrients, but it is unfair...kids need guidance and info so they can grow up and make their own decisions. I hope that helps a little...

3 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Our church is doing a "Fall Festival" but absolutely requesting that costumes involving "scaryness" or bones and such NOT be worn!! Our kids tend to dress up as princesses and other fairy tale characters, or Disney characters, such as Winnie the Pooh or Tigger or Mickey Mouse, etc. We just treat Halloween as a special "dress up" time, and leave it at that for our kids.

Our church has also requested that anyone decorating their booths this year simply use 'fall season' decorations, such as leaves turning colors and just plain pumpkins without any face carvings or drawings of faces.

If this sounds more like the type of thing you are looking for, email me and I will be happy to give you more info about it! If you still are not wanting to "do" anything, just plan a Family night at your home with games and movies appropriate for your kids, and have FUN!! Remember, this is Your Family, and You and your DH have to decide what is "right" for you.

Let me know what you decide. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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A.E.

answers from San Antonio on

My best friend has never celebrated Halloween and has grown up with an unhealthy fear of something that, to me, was always fun and lighthearted. I never thought twice about the "scariness" of Halloween as a child, the costumes never scared me because my parents explained that they were all little children playing dress-up. I looked forward to picking out a costume so that I could play dress-up in public and get lots of candy. Children don't need to understand anything other than the candy and costume aspect of Halloween and unless you make it a point to tell them about the "fear and death" aspects of it, they won't know until they are older. Children don't know to fear, they learn it from us and there is nothing un-Christian about letting your child have fun.

If you're that against it, though, make Halloween a family night. Make your sons favorite meal and play lots of games with him. Make sure to turn off your porch light too so trick-or-treaters don't interrupt (and cause even more questions).

1 mom found this helpful
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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

My children are now 14 and 15. I have always explained to them the good and the bad of this and many other holidays (like Christmas and Easter). I have never allowed certain kinds of costumes but dress up we do.....it is fun to dress up and doing a little scary stuff does not mean anti Christ...it is fun pranks.....Halloween is a fun holiday and those that participate are not anti Christian/ Christ just because they do and I hope you are not telling your children that as that is where bigotry and discrimination comes from......condeming a group because you don't agree with them and that could not be further from Christ's teachings.....good luck to you.......when mine were little we went to Church parties because it was safer.....

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

I can also totally understand where you are coming from. My husband is totally against Halloween as well. And for all the right reasons I suppose. I grew up celebrating Halloween but it was always just a fun day to dress up for me. I never thought of it any other way. I absolutely cannot stand Haunted Houses and all the nasty Halloween decorations they have these days. I would much rather decorate with fall type themes instead. No scary ghosts, spiders, goblins, etc. Just the fun stuff. Although i do love carving pumpkins and roasting the seeds. Sort of like decorating Easter eggs and leaving cookies out for Santa. My daughter is only 18 months old so halloween doesn't really phase her just yet. I bought her a pumpkin costume this year and last year she was a lady bug. Our church is hosting a "Trunk or Treat" and there is also one at her Mother's Day Out this year on Halloween. I am going to take her to both of those.

I say do what is right for you and your family. Another mom mentioned having a family fun night at your house for Halloween. I would still try to make this a special day and evening for your kid's but you don't have to involve anything Halloween. Maybe you could prepare a special dinner and watch movies and play games. Unless you are against candy maybe they could get some of that as well. Whatever you decide have fun!

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

I can totally understand your convictions. I have similar ones. At 3, I told them the truth: "Some people celebrate this day as a day to dress up in scary costumes, and ask people for candy. We don't because it doesn't reflect Christ." It was enough for my first two (DD8, DS5, DS2), then. This year we are fortunate enough to belong to a church that is trying to reflect Christ to the neighborhood during Halloween. Our (older 2) children will dress as martyrs they have researched, in costumes they are helping to create! It's part educational for them, and it's a lot of outreach to the community for us! There will be candy, of course, to draw in the neighborhood kids, but the goal will be to draw them to Christ, not just a "safe candy hand-out". It's not our ideal celebration of the saints, but until we remember in August that we need to be the ones to organize this event, we will support our church's efforts to redeem this day with participation to the greatest extent that we can this year (which is more than last year!) :)

It is always tough to be different from "everyone else," but it's important to teach the children that it's okay to believe (and act on that belief) differently from the world... that's what we're called to do! :)

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

It is your job as a parent to guide your child to Christ. If your convictions tell you not to celebrate Halloween then by all means don't. We didn't celebrate it growing up. My parents never went into detail about why, but I can tell you that I am a healthy adult, who has no deep inner issues about my parents not allowing it. If anything I am greatful that they stuck to their values regarding things they felt were inappropriate. On the swing side, although we do not "celebrate" halloween in the way that we celebrate say Easter, I do let me kids dress up in non-scary costumes and we attend our church's fall festival. I chose to think of it as a pre-thanksgiving celebration. A chance to thank God for the changing of seasons and the beauty that it brings. Dressing up is just a little fun extra. I think a family fun night sounds like a great idea! You might even have a dress up night at home and have some nice healthy pretend play time?

There were many things that I was not allowed to do that my friends were. Go to the movies, wear jeans, go to dances, and you know even though as an adult I dont quite hold all of those same convictions, I muddled through my "deprived" childhood pretty well ;)

BTW THANK GOD that my parents "forced religion" apon me. Later on your child with thank God for you pointing him in the right direction.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,

I was raised without EVER trick-or-treating or EVER dressing up as a fairy, or princess, or witch, etc., and ALL 8 eight of me and my siblings turned out just fine. I read some of the responses and wanted to let you know that it is okay--your children are not going to hate you later in life! Basically, my parents taught us that Halloween meant, "All Hallow's eve," which is a "day of the dead," and we were to pray for those who have passed on before us. Many times, we'd go to Church on Halloween dressed up as a saint (we are Catholic) to celebrate the wonderful life he/she led.

Hope this helps a bit!

Jacqueline

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B.E.

answers from Dallas on

I relate in a different way. My children are Jewish and we do not celebrate Christmas and it is difficult for me to see people always assume that Santa Clause is going to come and leave brightly wrapped presents under the tree. Teaching children your Christian values is your Responsibility, not depriving them of valuable nutrients!! Ugh. I think your children will understand and be proud of who they are and what they stand for and missing out on trick or treat will not be something thye need to tell the Psychotherapist later on. Stick to your values! God Bless!
Marianne

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

We usually attend and work at our church fall carnival. I have problems with the trick-or-treating part of Halloweeen. All year long I teach my children to not talk to strangers nor take candy from strangers, then on one particular night it is okay to dress up and go to a stranger's house, ring the doorbell and ask for candy? What a serious mixed message to send to kids! I feel comfortable at a church carnival, especially one that is centered on celebrating the Fall season. After all in the good ole days, most farmers celebrated bringing in the fall harvest.

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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hey C.! I agree with everyone else about making that night a family night. Maybe you can use that time to talk about why you don't agree with the traditional Halloween celebrations. My family doesn't celebrate Christmas the same way everyone else does (ie. Christ's birthday and Santa Clause), and my parents taught me early the reasons why which helped me deal with it because everyone would ask a million questions when they would find out. I know it's hard to explain everything to a 3 year old, but maybe you can give him the main reasons and elaborate on them next year when he can understand a little better. Good luck with whatever you decide.
R.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

HI C.! Your sons are still very young so explaining the why's and how's of Halloween may be a bit difficult at this stage. Your question was "what do you tell them?" and I don't have any good advice in this matter but perhaps you can come up with your own way of celebrating the evening that makes you comfortable,yet is still fun for your boys so they don't "miss out",persay. I would think that explaining Halloween to a 3 yr old may be a difficult task at this point so just say something simple.
I am sure I will be on here in a few years posting the very same question,"what do I tell him???" when my curious and too young to know son asks me, "where do babies come from?" :)
YIKES!

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