Doing Something Thoughtful for Family and Friends

Cook a meal, visit, clean house for them, offer to do laundry, run errands for them or take them to run errands. Listen to them when they talk. That will often times give you great cues and ideas for things that they may need/want done or taken care of and that's where you could come in.

I just took meals to my bil & sil and my cousins because both of the women of the house are off their feet for different reasons and they are the cooks of the house. So feeding them took the worry off their mind for the hubbies to try to cook and they didn't have to worry about food for a couple of days.

Just show up at their door with a bag of muffins and tea.
Bring them a book that you have read and loved.
I am compiling a book of family traditions, including events, pictures, important dates and recipes for my family for Christmas this year. You could help them go through their pictures and make a book for them through sites like Walmart or Mixbook or countless others. This is a great gift they will treasure and will love showing off to their other visitors. It really only takes a few days once you've collected all your photos.

Pretty flowers always seem to brighten people's spirts.

I had a family friend that passed away a few years back. She had a gorgous garden of flowers all along the front of her house. When she became ill and not able to maintain them all her neighbors got together and keep her beautiful gardens blooming for her. She loved the gift more then anything else.

Good Luck with paying it forward!

S., It is kind of you to want to be of help. It really doesn't matter if you learned from your family example or not but that you learn to do these things. When my husband was dying of cancer, friends would come take the laundry, would help with house work, or yard work, even wash the car or take it and fillit with gas. One friend gave us a gas card just to have in my wallet. I know that whenI find out someone is goingthru chemo, treatment I take otter pops and root beer and ginger ale to them. Why? becasue it helps with the metal taste in the mouth and if they swish root beer or ginger ale in the mouth it calms the tastebuds and they may be able to eat something. So its not so much to drink as to help in another area. If they are at work then just give them crackers, or gramcrackers to hold off the nausea that hits so unexpected. Sometimes just letting them vent to hear their own words and work out the feelings inside helps-- they won't expect you to fix anything but they will appreciate you just listening without feeling they are bad for what they feel. If I am on the way somplace I will check and see if they need anything from the store. Or will offer to sit with them and not even have to talk while the caregiver gets a few minuets to themselves or a nap. It really is the small stuff that helps makethe bigger stuff easier to bear. You can send emails that are uplifting and with pictures-- one friend used to send us jokes and funny news articles to read to my husband Good Luck

I'm looking forward to hearing some great ideas.

We have close friends that we ocassionally vacation with. I made her a scrapbook with all of our vacations for the past several years.

Hi there,

Something really easy is to send a thinking of you card and write a note in it about how much your friendship means. You can also ask the person what you can do and give her a few suggestions: like your friend who has cancer - "I'd like to clearn your house for you; how about if I come over on Friday at 5pm and spend a couple hours?" I would suggest not making open ended offers like I'd like to do something for you... if you are going to help out say when, how and follow up.
Hope this helps.

You dont even have to spend $4.00 on a store bought card. Just stock up on the little tiny ones that you attach to a gift (you can buy them at Safeway in gift wrap section or even get them in the floral section). Find out someones (caregive or patient) favorite drink (Starbucks; even chocolate milkshake from McDonalds, ice tea, whatever) or flower. When you know they are home go buy them a drink or bring even one flower, ring the bell, and leave on porch. I know that sometimes when my mom was resting while undergoing chemo is when i would rest and as much as i loved all my friends i didnt always want to see them when i had the chance to rest myself. One of my friends used to come to my house when my mom was dying and just take my laundry and bring it back the next day. Of course in the beginning everytime she asked I would always tell her it wasnt necessary but she just stopped asking and just took the dirty clothes with her. What you do does not have to be big; it can be the smallest gesture in the world as long as they know if comes with love

Is your question what you should do to be helpful for a person in need or if others are spending their days doing good deeds for others? I, personally, do not do things for people regularly. I participate in my daughters' schools, I support fund raising events, I give my neighbors extra eggs from my chickens when I have them. I retrieve my neighbor's dog when she escapes from her back yard. I offer to help out a friend if I know she's having child care trouble. But do I bake bread and visit a neighbor to chat? No. And I don't think that most people do. I guess I help when I see a need. Regarding your friends with cancer, I think one of the nicest things to do is to take flowers - who doesn't like something to brighten their house? Do what you can but don't punish yourself for not committing a day to cleaning their house or preparing a weeks worth of meals. Also cards are always nice - not ecards - but an actual card with a handwritten note. Good-luck.

I depends a lot on your friends.
Talk to them and listen to them, it will give you a lot of information about what they may need.
If they do chemio, they may wish somebody would hold their hands while they feel nauseous (other prefer be alone). If they are exhausted, they may need help with house chores, gardening or errands. If they have kids, they may need babysitting.

A few years ago, as I was living abroad, I had 2 of my aunts visiting me. They were really existed by their their trip and happy they could visit the country while having free food/housing. One asked me why I didn't have any flower around my house and I answered that I was such a poor gardener that I may never have any flowers around. The next day, they went shopping and planted flowers for me. It has been one of the nicest gesture done for me. I've cherishes these flowers so much!

In any case, I would begin by offering the tea and cookies, listening and fro there decide which path to go.

Well a close friend of mine had cancer "Has been free for 6mons" When she was ill, once a week my family and I would go to the house and mow the lawn for her and her husband, go shopping for her, or clean the house.
She also had a young boy. On the days she would have kemo my daughter would sit him until her hubby would come home on the days her mom had to work. She always said "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS" well YES WE DID! Because she has been there for us alot in the past and we never had a chance to pay her back. Now that she is well and getting back on her feet we still help out, but at her request not as much. She always thanks to us for being there threw the "GOOD, BAD and UGLY" I just tell her there is NO other place I wanted to be!!!

I think it wouldn't matter what you do they will know that you are there to help in anyway you can.
Good luck and God Bless You and Your Friends!