Double Party

Updated on August 04, 2009
L.D. asks from East Hanover, NJ
27 answers

Hi Mommy's,
Well, I've already sent out the invitations but I wanted to get your take on this... My husband turns 30 this month and our son turns 2. I originally planned on having two seperate parties but that didn't work out since it didn't fit the budget to have two. So, I combined them... I sent out the invites yesterday and everyone I've spoken to so far said it was a great idea but I'm wondering if they're just saying that and secretly feel that it's a greedy idea and that was not my intentions. I feel kind of stupid now and there's not turning back since I've sent out the invites... I wanted to put no gifts for my husband my s-i-l and m-i-l said it would be fine and no one would show up without a gift for him anyway so don't put it on there. I don't know, I just feel silly now. My husband has no idea that we're doing this, I put on the invites that it was a surprise for him and I have a terrific idea to get him out of the house an hour before the party and get his stuff set up but I just feel silly now. Please let me know your thoughts.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all of you... You have put my mind at ease. You have no idea how stressed I was, now reading all these responses, you've made me feel 100% better and now I'll enjoy finishing the final touchs on the party for my boys. You Mom's are the best!
L.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,
I think people would actually appreciate one party date, don't feel silly about it. Whether you had the parties together or separately, it's still two gifts and hopefully if that's not in people's budgets, they'll know you understand and that an adult doesn't care whether he gets a gift. Don't stress, enjoy this special day and have a wonderful party!

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Sounds like fun. Everyone likes to celebrate. Don't worry about what people think - if they don't like it, hopefully they won't come over,

Just relax and enjoy - you're doing a very nice thing.

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J.P.

answers from Syracuse on

I think it is a great idea and for people who can't afford two gifts they can either not bring any for the hubby or find create gifts that include both Father and Son. Like baseball gloves and a ball, movie tickets for two, gift certificate to go out to breakfast, a book (like What Dad's Can't Do), etc.... you get the idea. Have fun at this momentous party!!

We combined all of our kids this year. No one has a Birthday near any one else but we have 4 kids. One is near 4th of July so friends and family are always busy. One is near Easter and the same thing happens. Two of them are in September right after school gets started back up. We are having their party in August because no one in our family has Birthday then. Everyone only has to travel once (almost everyone lived out of town). All of our family and friends thought it was a great idea. Most of them are buying family gifts not gifts for each child. And when I spoke to all of them I told them no gifts were necessary. We just wanted everyone to come have a good time.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

my sis is doing the exact same thing for her hubby, she sent out invites for her daughters 3rd birthday party, which he knows about, then sent out secret follow up invites saying that it is also a surprise party for his 40th. its gonna be great. dont worry about what people think, just have fun. truthfully, i dont think its greedy at all. times are tough, and if anything it is easier on your friends and family than having 2 to go to, and they probably will feel better knowing that they can do something like a gift for your son and a bottle or something as a gift/hostess thing for you/hubby if they want to. and if anyone has anything to say, they are probably the people who will always have something to say anyway, so who cares. its all good - enjoy your family and friends, its a family celebration, enjoy your blessings :)

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C.S.

answers from New York on

I absolutely think you did the right thing. I get irritated if the same family member invites me to more than one party within one month. Weekends are scarce time to get things done and spend quality time with my husband. Personally, we have way too many commitments during the summer months with birthdays, bbq's, graduation parties and weddings. Everyone loves to celebrate and visit but, it can become "too much." Don't worry! I'm sure at least some others feel the same way I do!!!

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Don't feel silly. I have a double party every year(my son and DH share the same day!) Only even though it's for our son, everyone usually brings a gift for his Dad. I think it is a wonderful idea. Sit back and enjoy the day, your child and husband will have a great time!!
HTH,

M.I.

answers from New York on

Get over it! If you feel silly, then you'll act silly and who wants a silly hostess?!!
However, the one thing I would say is put yourself in your husband's position. Would you like to have a 30th birthday party that involved a clowns and toys. Think about it.
So, I would tell my husband that I will give him his special "grown ups" gift after the party ;) I am sure that will perk things right up...lol

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R.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi my name is R.,
I think that's a great idea. My cousin was born on her fathers birthday and he loved sharing it with her. So I hope it works out and you all have a blessed day.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I think its fine. I think the fact that you are combining to two does NOT make it greedy b/c then you aren't expecting your guests to come to two different parties in such a short time. Its a big birthday for your DH and the kid birthday are always big IMO. I think its nice that you are thinking of your DH and not just letting him be pushed to the background b/c of your childs birthday. I agree with SIL and MIL - people are going to bring gifts regardless. I'd spread it around by word of mouth but people will still just do what they want. My thought is if people don't like the idea, then they should just decide to not come but if its close family and friends then will probably love it and be excited about it - so don't worry. ENJOY!

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K.B.

answers from New York on

I think it was a smart idea and the people who don't want to come, won't! If you can, maybe spread the word that if people want to bring gifts for your hubby, make them jokey gifts for turning 30. Makes it more fun and won't seem "greedy". Have fun and relax!

C.S.

answers from New York on

My son and I have the same birthday. And my daughter is a week later. Every August we have a HUGE party for all of us. 3 Birds, 1 Stone. lol

I think its a great idea to combine parties. Makes it easier for your guests.

Relax, and have a good time!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

Sounds like fun. I turned 30 when my son turned 1, we did a joint party then. It's a time saver for everyone, and was a great party too. Just enjoy yourself, and surprise your husband. We just held a joint party for my son and neice... I think joint parties are great b/c the party can be special for everyone.

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J.S.

answers from New York on

I think it's a great idea! I think plenty of people understand the economic times, and plus, if their birthdays are close together, you have a much better chance of getting friends & family together at one time rather than two. People are so busy, it just makes sense all around, I think. I know plenty of people who combine birthday parties, and even as your son grows older this may make the most sense for you. You could have a smaller kid-only party for him when it matters and have one large family & friends of the family party.
Don't stress it, I think you & everyone else will enjoy.

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D.N.

answers from Albany on

Gosh no..... not greedy at all!!! 2 in 1 is much easier on everyone than attending two parties. ENJOY!!!! (Everyone else will for sure! So..... no worries) :) It's a wonderful thing you are doing for two very special people in your life... not silly by any means.

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C.S.

answers from Rochester on

It's a great idea! It's never a dumb idea to celebrate someone you love. And for your son to share a special day with his daddy is very cool. When I was 6, I shared a classroom b-day party with my teacher. I thought I was the coolest kindergartener alive!

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E.F.

answers from New York on

I think it is a great idea. I am sure your husband will love it and everyone will have a great time. Don't second guess yourself!

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Why feel silly? It's a great idea. It isn't like you have a party every year for your husband but turning 30 is a big one. What better way to make it a surprise??

I think it's great and we just combined two of our boys' parties this past weekend. It worked out VERY well because of their friends that are the same, it meant those people only had to come over once. I don't know about the people you know but our friends tend to be VERY busy during the summer camping and whatnot.

Have fun and enjoy!!

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T.T.

answers from New York on

It sounds like a wonderful idea to me. If I were a guest I'd appreciate the combo party. It's so hard to carve out time anymore to go places (especially for working familes) Making it to two parties would be difficult, so this is better. Trust me, especially being a full time working Mom, everyone will just appreciate your efforts. Don't worry about the gift thing, people will do what they're comfortable with. Just relax and enjoy your friends and family!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

I honestly think it's an awesome idea! How thoughtful of you to plan such a thing. You shouldn't feel silly at all. You're throwing a party to celebrate 2 important birthdays for your loved ones. Relax, and enjoy the party!!!
Lynsey

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B.A.

answers from New York on

I think it's a great idea! Your husband will be surprised and everyone will have a good time. It is certainly not greedy, it is an ingenious idea. Enjoy your party and keep the ideas coming!

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R.C.

answers from New York on

Relax, have fun with your party....

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T.G.

answers from New York on

I think it's great! 30 is great! and two is great! At 30 I am GUESSING your husband doesn't need to be the center of attention at his very own party, (well maybe when he's 40...) AND WOULD BE HAPPY TO CELEBRATE ALONG WITH YOUR SON.Also at two your son will just enjoy any reason for a party ... I think you are actually doing your guests a favor by combining the two events,
it is possible folks may spend a little less on gifts for each of them , but so what....my philosophy has always been "a gift is a gift" you get what you get that is why it is called a gift...no expectations ...even if you had two parties, people would probably gift in the same manner, so just have fun with your families,friends, neighbors, whomever and celebrate the day

and about me... i work full time . and went back to school .....now that the kids are older.. we have a 13 yr old daughter and 20 year old son...i am always juggling parties. cook outs, camping trips etc....weddings, communions, graduations all sorts of events we need to attend that our summer calendar is full by may so i know going to one party one day for two people would make me happy

C.B.

answers from New York on

I think that sounds really fun. Hope he love's his surprise. Who really cares what anyone else thinks. If they think that badly of you why would they be your friend? Don't sweat it.

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C.B.

answers from Buffalo on

L.--In my eyes, it saves everyone a trip. If they don't like a double party..too bad. You are doing this for your husband and son and they are very lucky to have you !!
Keep your chin-up and go on as planned. You'll always have the precious memories of your son and husband being surprised,and will forget who didn't show !! C.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,

I think it's a great idea. Your husband will feel special that you invited everyone to celebrate both b'days together. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, as long as you know that you had good intentions, sit back and enjoy the festivities.

Have fun..
D.

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T.B.

answers from Syracuse on

Sounds like a very practical and thoughtful gesture! Don't keep second guessing yourself. You've planned a wonderful party for your son to share with his dad and for your husband to share with his son. Your guests will surely enjoy themselves and at this busy time of year, are probably happy that they only have one party to commit to! As for the gifts, whatever happens happens. I'm sure all guests will bring gifts for your son and some will bring something for your husband. It's a milestone day for him too! 30! If he gets gifts that's great too!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

Everyone said it was a great idea, I think you're being silly by feeling all silly. lol There's absolutley nothing wrong with it, people are busy in the summer, do they want to have to come to two separate parties at your house? I don't think so, this works out for everyone. A greedy idea? what even gives you this idea? Oh Yeah, you're so greedy for giving a birthday party for your husband turning 30 and son who's turning 2. Wow, that's so greedy. (sarcasm) RELAX! ENJOY!!

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