Due with Baby #3 Soon and Questions About Siblings

Someone may have suggested it, but when my daughter was born, my son was wearing a white shirt to get ready for school. They put her footprints on it and wrote her birth info onto it. Name and everything. They also put something like I'm a big brother. It was great after a very stressful ordeal and we still have the shirt. My son loved it. He remembers it very clearly and felt very special. Also, he is such a big helper and that is how I include him. We have 3 now and the little one can be rough, but she sings to her sister and loves on her and helps too. She won't let me let her get left out so I don't worry about that. Good luck.

I am thinking that you have already worried more than any anxiety or stress your kids will ever have. I have a 4 1/2 year old, nearly 3 year old and 11 month old. The two oldest adore their baby sister and take such good care of her. They are always looking out for her and are very protective. My biggest advice is keep them involved wherever you can, kids love to have some responsibility - especially when they can help mommy. The biggest anxiety my older son showed was he was visibly upset a day or two after the baby came home and when asked what was wrong he started crying and told me he just wanted to "hold her". Well we sat right down on the couch and held her together and looked at her. His attention lasted about 30 seconds before he was up and running off to play. LOL. Remember to take the time for yourself to heal (it is hard to do when you have two others at home- i was off and running too soon). And give them something to do when you are feeding/nursing. So here are some things that I did, maybe they will work for you...

- kept a stool by the changing table as my daughter wanted to partipate in changing diapers. I would give her a toy to shake.

- when giving a bottle, often had one of my kids run it out to my husband. They always thought this was really important - even bickered over who got to do it.

- let them have access to the baby, obviously, make sure it is in a safe way, but the more access the more they feel part of it.

- Overall keep things easy and low stress. They will react the same

- Bedtime routines, story times, all the key things which were part of my older children's life was teh same. If I couldn't put them to bed because I was nursing and daddy did it - he told them I would come in and say goodnight as soon as I could.

- Do what you say. If you tell them you can't do it right now because of the baby, make sure you follow up.

- we had each of our kids pick out something for the baby themselves. It was not special trip, just when we were out and about. One of the toys was for older babies, but it meant something to that particular child as it was her favorite character. They felt much more important and valued doing that than us picking something out for them.

- you really can't make a mistake and if one morning/day/etc goes wrong, there is always the next day.

Good luck - the third one just slides right in....

This was just for our second baby, but it seemed to work, at least at the time; can't tell you the long-term effects yet! Grandma came to visit to care for our oldest. He was thrilled--he much more wanted to play with grandma than with mom and dad, and he was easily distracted by her when I went into labor and for a few days after we brought baby home. We bought our son a Playmobil toy that he really wanted and still enjoys (baby is now 2). It was a large toy, about 60$, and one of the larger toys we've bought him in his 5 year lifetime. BUT--it kept him very busy, very occupied, very excited, for that first week. We didn't give it to him until we came home with baby, and we were very up front: the baby will get a lot of presents, and we want you to know you're very special to us, too. Being a big brother is a big job, and we wanted to thank you for being a good big brother. The advantage, of course, is that he played and played with it, allowing us time w/ baby...and grandma time w/ baby, too!

E. , I will start with congratulations. We have 4 kids and the older two were the same ages as yours when we had ou #3. We bought the older two a gift from the baby and when they came to the hospital we told the kids that baby had let us know they she wanted to give them a gift and they loved that the baby had thought of them. As for your oldest having a little anxiety over all the new things have you put your kids in the sibling classes most hospitals offer. There are also some great kids books about getting a new sibling we read the Berenstain Bears one and Dora. We also had Daddy or Mommy dates with the kids this may have been something as simple as a walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store. It always made them feel special. Good luck

When our #2 was born, we had a gift from the baby for our daughter (4 yrs at the time). It was a My Little Pony (she loves them) that she didn't have yet. I wrote the card our from the baby. Gave it to her at the hospital after she met her baby sister. She thought it was the coolest thing!

I was about 3 years old when my little brother was born. I still remember my dad bringing me to Pamida when we were on our way to meet my brother and he let me pick out a doll so I would have a baby and my mom would have her baby. It was something I really loved and we have a lot of pictures of me feeding my doll and mom feeding my brother. (I think it also gave my mom a little space when she needed to do something with my brother. So when I kept trying to take care of him she would have me get my doll and care for her instead)

My brother and sister-in-law just had baby #2. On the way to see her new brother for the first time, my brother took big sister to the hospital gift shop to buy a gift for her baby brother. She chose a stuffed lamb, that has now become hers instead of the baby's. She diapers and dresses it and even nurses it.

We are planning to do the same with our daughter when baby #2 is born in a couple of weeks. She is also really interested in my bags that are packed for the hospital, so I have picked up a couple of new things that she can pack in her backpack and bring to the hospital when she comes to visit us (new coloring book, new video, a Mercer Mayer book about a new baby).

Oh Honey, don't worry so much. Your five year old is not at all worried about all the new things coming his way. I love kids because they don't do anxiety. They just love the minute they are in. He truly is just excited about the new life growing in you. You are worried about all the changes in his life. Don't stress! You are giving your children the best gift ever!!! What could be a better gift than a new baby?!

We have been gifted with six children. Two of them died. My children know without a shadow of a doubt that babies are gifts and they love having them around. I worried about my children, especially during the deaths of their brother and sister. I soon realized that they understand life better than I do in some ways. They accept the changes in their lives and move along fine as long as the you as parents don't fall apart.

When we had baby #2 we got a gift for our oldest (2 1/2 at the time). We got him something we knew he'd love and told him it was from his new brother. He was so excited. I will do that again for both boys whenever we are blessed with #3.

E.,

My boys were 3 1/2 and almost 2 when baby #3 came along. They did amazingly well. There were of course some behavior things that came out, but really we were pretty well adjusted within a few weeks of Rebecca coming home.

I had the boys each bring a gift for her to the hospital. I just had some new little cars at the hospital for each boy when they came to see their sister. That gave them something to play with while they were in the room. They really didn't care about getting anything from the new baby, but I think that maybe your 5 year old might understand that better.

Kids are resilient. They are smart, and they love you and will love the baby. You are doing some great preparation for them, and it will all work out just fine.

I wouldn't worry too much about getting them stuff, rather focus on how much fun it will be to have a new baby. Try to find some helpers for the first two weeks so that you can rest as much as you need to, and know that your children will benefit from having a new baby around. It's so FUN!

Best to you!
Jessica
SAHM to Charlie, Joey and Rebecca

I just found out yesterday that I may be expecting #3 and my two are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 so I will be interested to see your responses. I asked both yesterday what they thought about another baby and they were both excited and my daughter even said she would change the smelly poopy diapers. LOL!

I think the T-shirts area great idea and maybe a small toy that they really have been asking for a long time would be a good thing. The quality time alone is a good plan too!

We had #3 last summer, and his older 2 brothers were 3 and 20 months when he was born. The transition to 3 children was much easier than the transition to 2!

I'd say don't worry about getting a gift for the baby from the older kids, the baby will get enough gifts... you need to get them a gift FROM the baby. Before #3 was born, I went shopping beforehand and got each of the older boys a bag of goodies (go for 2-3 small things that your kids are "in to" right now that they'd really get excited about.) I kept it in my trunk until we brought baby home from the hospital. We told them it was a gift from their little brother, and they loved it.

Also, you already have a great idea about using the grandparents to give you time to spend one on one time with each of them.

Give the older kids things to help with, even something small like bringing a diaper will make them feel involved.

Good luck, and don't worry so much. :)