Easter W/ Family ?

Updated on April 11, 2009
S.M. asks from West Chester, OH
6 answers

I am trying to decide if I should have Easter with my family this year or not. Normally I would not ? it, but I have reached a point where I am tired of not inforcing normal bounderies with my family. I have a 2 yr old son and on the way I have dr restrictions where I can't pick up my son right now so I can't pull him out of a situation I would not feel comfortable with as easily. Alot of people in my family have an issue with drug addictions and on holidays drugs are very prevelent. Normally they do go into other rooms, but my son is now at a age where he can open doors and walk in and with me not being able to go in and pick him up and pull him out I am in fear of him seeing them do something that I don't agree with. But on the other hand I am also afraid that if I don't go that my family will be black balled from all family events. My husband will not be able to go to help. So it would just be me and my son with my family. Not everyone in my family is like this, but those that don't d drugs tend to just look the other way and I am tired of doing that because I have a child to watch out for and I don't want him exposed to it. Thank you for all of your advice in advance.

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So What Happened?

I decided not to go. I just told everyone that I didn't think it was a good idea this year.

More Answers

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L.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Maybe because I grew up learning that family is not just flesh, but if they do not care about you and your child to forgo the drugs until after you leave, they are not really family. Let your child celebrate Easter and spring in a positive environment- go out to the park, to the children's museum, etc. And you never know - you not allowing your son to see this may just be the motivation they need to get their acts together.

However it goes, may your holiday be happy.

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L.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Dear S.,
Draw the lines now and don't go. Once I stated to my family that I would not be present at family events if certain toxic family members were going to be in attendance, those people were not included in future family events. Those that love you will respect your stance.

Your children and your health must come first. Who cares if you are black balled from the family. If drugs are prevelent why would you want to be a part of them? Family doesn't automatically get to be a part of your life. You are putting yourself and your child in serious danger when knowingly attending an event with drugs. God will bless your decision and give you the strength to say no and stay with your husband to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior. Focus on why we celebrate Easter.

Happy Easter.

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C.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Don't go. Looking the other way while family members do drugs is condoning their actions. Let them know that as long as drugs are being used, you will not be attending family functions. As far as the rest of the family; if you have good relationships with them, invite them over, or arrange time to go to dinner, lunch or breakfast with them another time. Find the book "Boundaries" at your local library and read it.
Best of luck.

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M.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

S.....I probably just wouldn't go. Take your son to church to learn the real meaning of Easter. If your family questions you tell them you don't want your son exposed to the drug scene. They will respect your higher standards. God bless.

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would not take my children where drugs were a prevalent part of the day - whether done in the other room or not. Maybe the non-drug users should start hosting events and not permitting that behavior in their homes. Then those who are using drugs can decide whether or not they want to attend under those guidelines.

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H.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Given your high risk pregnancy and the potential situations that could arise....I would not risk it. I would let them know that due to your high risk pregnancy, that you feel that you need to skip this year and stay home where you can more easily take care of your son and get the rest that you need.

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