Eight Year Old Daughter Is Crying in Her Sleep

Updated on February 06, 2008
K.R. asks from Denver, CO
45 answers

My eight year old daughter has been crying in her sleep every night for the past three weeks. She starts by sighing, then begins to cry and shake as if she were cold. Left alone, she then proceeds into full-on sobbing. My husband and I can ease the crying by holding her and reassuring her, but even then, she's in this space for five minutes or so. She will open her eyes and respond to us if we really try to wake her up, but she doesn't remember it in the morning. We have talked with her about the crying episodes, but she says nothing is bothering her and nothing has changed in her life. By the way, she did have similar episodes when she was 3 or so, not every night, but clustered for some period of time (months, maybe). Has anyone ever heard of this? Should we be as concerned as we are--or more?

Thanks for any help/advice.

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D.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I think that since children have a hard time expressing themselves out loud in the first place that you should definately be concerned. I would suggest you speak with her doctor and he can suggest something.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My 6 year old son does this often and my pediatrician and everything I've read says that night terrors are common at this age range. They don't know how to deal with everyday stresses (and yes, they have stresses at this age) so they revisit at night and have night terrors. It may look like my son is awake but he really isn't and doesn't remember anything in the morning either. They should outgrow them .... if not, there may be more in their life going on than they can handle and need to work thru .... but my older daughter had them around the same age too ... I have 2 more kids to go so I'm not too worried now that I've already seen it twice. =)

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S.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Have you ever heard of night terrors? I had a friend whose daughter did that, and that it what she said it was. I do not know anything about it, but I would call a pediatrician and explain to them what is going on. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My then 5 year old daughter use to do the same. This may sound strange but a friend told me to read psalm 23, 3 nights in a row at bedtime and it has not happened to her since then. She is now going to turn 7.

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A.E.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't want to scare you but please go to your doctor and let them know what is going on. My son had a seizure disorder starting at 3 and a half and alot of what you are describing is very similar to what he experienced and they do come in clusters as seizures result in more seizures through the "learned neuron pathways " in the brain. Hopefully this is just night terrors but don't ignore it as it can be serious. Now that I ave probably freightened you to death....don't panic!! Your doctor will be able to elp and point you in the right direction if a pediatric nuerologist is necessary.

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A.R.

answers from Denver on

Dear K.,
Could your daughter be suffering from "night terrors?" They are kind of like a nightmare but the child does not remember anything in the morning. I have four children and two of them have (had) night terrors. They usually occurred during a time of stress, like changing schools after we moved, or switching soccer teams, etc. They also occured more during the holidays when they were not getting enough sleep or things were very busy during the day. My daughter, who is seven, and occasionally still has them, would just cry and cry, and we could not console her...she was not really awake. My son, who had them when he was much younger, used to kick and scream and even bite. If we even went near him it would get worse. He grew out of them around six years and he is almost ten now. It used to scare us alot until our pediatrician assured us that they are ok, they will probably grow out of it.
I hope this helps.
ABR

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J.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter did this at the age of 3. The diagnosis is night terrors. It seems your daughter has classic case of night terrors. I noticed that artificial food coloring, white flour, and white sugar really aggrivate her nights. I'm not sure why but fruit snacks were the worst thing ever for her night terrors. Also sugar free foods that contain artificial sugar affect her nights. She sleeps much more peacefully when there's a very limited amount of these foods. She can eat them (except fruit snacks) in small amounts and definitely never close to bedtime. from J.

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C.N.

answers from Phoenix on

Also make sure she isn't drinking or eating anything cold before bed, e.g ice water. That creates digestive problems which can cause corresponding heat (the body has to heat up to bring the cold to body temperature) which rises to the heart and disturbs the "shen" or spirit, according to Chinese medicine. This is the cause of many bad dreams and restless nights.
I recommended this to one parent whose daughter would wake up with night terrors. We discovered she kept a glass of ice water by her bed. Once we stopped that, the night terrors went away.
-Catherine

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Make sure there is scary on TV before bed time. Maybe tech her a little bed time prayer. Make sure she has plenty of blankets. A fun night light might help to. Make sure you give positive reinforcments before bed. Maybe even tell her a nice (WARM) happy bed time story from time to time to see if that helps.

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G.L.

answers from Albuquerque on

Google Night Terrors. My daughter did this for awhile the night terrors can be mild like crying or scare that heck out of you with screaming. They dont remember anything about it. She will outgrow it, but I would schedule an appointment with her doctor for more suggestions on what to do. We took ours to a counselor for awhile, but they all told us she would out grow them and she did. She is ten now and they stopped about a year and a half ago.

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J.R.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like night terrors. The only good thing bout them is that they usually are temp. They can get very violent, and it sounds like she is not having them too terribly. Sorry to hear that she is having a hard time, but it is good that she does not remember them!

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I.S.

answers from Denver on

Do research on 'night terrors'.

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M.M.

answers from Albuquerque on

My suggestion would be to research "Night Terrors" online. It sounds like your daughter may be exhibiting some of these symptoms. Particularly about waking and not remembering any of the events. When a child has a night terror they appear to wake from an awful dream, but are really still asleep. Good Luck

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D.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

That happened with my 5 year old a few weeks ago. He started whimpering and then crying and when I went to check on him, it was like he was sleeping since I was asking him questions and he couldn't answer me. I thought that he'd probably had a bad dream or was simply just talking/crying in his sleep, so I just made sure he didn't get up, covered him, rubbed his back and waited for him to go back to sleep. I myself talk in my sleep and have been known to laugh, so I'm assuming he did the same but with crying. I say just check on her to make sure she's alright but don't wake her. Just make sure she's safe in her bed and let her be. Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Denver on

I believe the best treatment for night terrors is to take your daughter to a shamanic practitioner. There are several in Denver.
L.

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A.K.

answers from Denver on

You might want to research night terrors. That could possibly be what it is since she is out of it for a while.

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S.M.

answers from Fort Collins on

She is probably having night terrors. Kids get them and they can happen often and it causes different reactions for everyone. My brother used to walk and screem, I cried and shook (almost like I was having seizures) and then didn't have any recolection of it at all in the morning. Mostly you just have to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

You also mentioned that she responds and opens her eyes. Just so you know she's not really awake that's why she doesn't remember in the morning. You can't really wake someone up from a night terror sorry!

There really isn't anything you can do but comfort her. Kids usually will out grow them (I did not but I can manage them much better now). In the mean time though I would suggest that you take walks with her before bed or after school or sometime to help get rid of some energy and talk about things that might be on her mind. That's how I manage mine now my poor husband doesn't have to get up as often anymore with me so it seems to work.

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T.H.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It might be something called night terrors. My son had them when he was a toddler, he has since grown out of them. There isnt much you can do for them, just make sure the child is in a safe place. You might ask her doctor about them. Hope things work out for her, and you. Take care.

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I.F.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

Something caught my eye when I read your request.

"Married to the man of my dreams, who likes me okay, for more than 19 years."

"Likes me okay"...Hmmmm? Maybe the problem lies here. I realize that after 19 years things aren't lovie dovie anymore, but shouldn't their at least still be love? Maybe your daughter worries about that? Maybe she senses something?

I read this morning that children worry 85% of the time about something...parents, siblings, school, etc...without saying something or talking about it. Talk to your daughter and then really, really listen.

Hope this helps.

Blessings to you and your family,

I.

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S.A.

answers from Phoenix on

My 4 year old does this all the time. We noticed that it usually happens when he is over tired. Your girl might be going through a growth spurt or something else and she needs extra rest.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I would look for a "classical" homeopath. Fortunately, we are in AZ which is considered the Mecca of homeopathy. The homeopath would consider a "constitutional remedy" for your child.

On a side note, I once read that sleep walking (which may or may not be related) as a child can be a sign of depression later in life. This was true for my sister. Homeopathy can look at all of this and help. It helps kids faster and more efficently than adults so the sooner the better.

Homeopathy has helped my son with sleep issues and other things.
Good luck,
B.

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N.W.

answers from Denver on

Have you talked to her pediatrician? Maybe he/she would have a medical explanation or suggestion of what to try to calm your daughter when the crying first starts.

Does she ever seem to just space out and not respond when she's awake? If so, there may be a reason to ask the pediatrician about mild seizures. It may be scary to think about, but it could be an important thing to ask about. Hopefully it's nothing serious. Good luck.

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B.S.

answers from Phoenix on

My son has gone through similar episodes. They started when he was 2-3 years old and he is now 11. They don't happen very often anymore, but they used to be so frequent, that he couldn't be left with a sitter at night. They are called "night terrors". If you have a good pediatrician, he/she should be able to give some help from a medical prospective. When my son has these, he looks as if he is wide awake. Eyes open and he will walk around the house freaking out as if there is something there scaring or chasing him. He often says to get it away from him and yells for me, even though I am right there with him. I have used cool/cold wash cloths on his face to help calm him down and go back to sleep. I would definatly recommend talking to your pediatrician. I hope I helped =}

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K.F.

answers from Denver on

Are you able to wake her from her sleep when she begins to cry? If not, I am wondering if she is having night terrors. My son had a brief experience with these when he was fairly young (around the age of 2 or 3). He would start crying hysterically in his bed, and get almost stiff while he was crying. It would seem like he was awake because his eyes would be open after we would start comforting him, but you could tell he was not really awake. It was really sad because he was almost inconsolable and then he would just drift back to sleep.
Also, I was wondering if your daughter remembers crying in her sleep (if you don't think it's night terrors)or if it is more of an unconscious thing. If you research night terrors and you don't seem to think it fits it may be a good idea to talk with a counselor or school psychologist. Kids aren't always the most forthcoming if they are having a hard time with something, especially if they don't want to worry parents. A teacher, couselor, etc. may be able to get answers that parents can't.
I hope this helps, and good luck.

K.F.

K.F.

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D.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

If all else fails (I know you will be getting a ton of different ideas!) I have heard that children really need to SEE Mom and Dad loving each other. One parenting book (from Growing Families International - www.gfi.org) suggests "couch time". An uninterrupted time for mom and dad to be together in front of the kids. Kids draw a lot of security from mom and dad's love and seeing you guys together loving each other may help her feel more secure and sleep better.

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M.H.

answers from Flagstaff on

K.,

I've done a fair amound of work with people in dream interpetation and a bit with children who have significant connection to the dream world. You might suggest each morning that she draw about her dreams. Even if she doesn't remember them, her subconscious is likely to come through in her drawing. It is something each of you in the family could do, so that she doesn't feel alone in the process.

If she awakens after she has been crying in her sleep, this would be a good time to get her a little something to drink and ask her to tell you about her dreams.

It is very important to be completely open to what she perceives she is experiencing. If she thinks you won't believe it, she is likely to shut down further. In dreamtime our mind is open to far greater experiences than we can imagine in evergy day reality. Simply being able to express (even through drawing) what is going on, is likely to effect change if she can feel you empathy and compassion in regard to what she is experiencing.

Best,
M.

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S.I.

answers from Las Vegas on

One of my best friends got me into this mamasource thing, though I do not have any children...someday I hope to though. I like reading the stories because some things even at this point in my life I can relate to. I saw this and figured that maybe I could lend my thoughts because my younger brother had night terrors growing up. This is the first thing that came to mind when I read this. He would "wake up" though he wasn't actually awake, screaming in the middle of the night. It took everything my parents had to calm him down (because to my knowledge you shouldn't actually wake the child up in the middle of these episodes) and then they would just play with him and watch him until he eventually went back to bed and closed his eyes. He and I had very loving parents and nothing had happened to him and he's still fine today (he'll be 30 next month), it's just something in the mind that occurs during sleep. It was sporadic during his youth and eventually stopped. He never remembered any of it. I think that maybe this is something you should just look into as a possible answer. I hope this helps. Take care!
~S.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Kids can have night terrors at different ages. Look it up and read about it and see if that fits any of these symptoms.
I know on a rare occassion my daughter will go through this, I let her just sob it out for a minute then she goes back to sleep. Waking her to comfort her is fine but it can become a habit too and it may be best to let her be. I know that sounds harsh but if she is just dreaming it may cause sleep disruption waking her to comfort her.
Maybe just have her read a happy story before bed, it could just be bad dreams. I would definitely talk to her Pediatrician though so they can rule out anything bigger.

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W.J.

answers from Fort Collins on

our 10 year old son sleepwalks. I wonder if what your daughter is experiencing is along the same lines as a sleepwalker. Something triggers them to act or respond that way during sleep and yet they don't remember it in the morning. ??? We recently moved and I wonder if things like this are a result of change. Have you or she been through any changes lately? maybe she's having a dream and this is an intense reaction to it?
Good luck -

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

I haven't heard of this but what strikes me is the question: could she have had some kind of trauma around 3 yrs old that you aren't aware of? Did you take any trips away w/out her over the years when someone else was caring for her? Maybe something little or not so little occurred and you weren't told about it. I'm sure you've already had similar thoughts. Just thought I'd share my gut reaction.

good luck,
Kate K

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G.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi,
It sounds like night terrors to me, which are not the same as nightmares; the main signs that I've read being that they don't remember them and you can't bring them out of it. If it were me, I would call the nurse at my pediatrician's office, and/or make an appt. to talk with the doctor. I'm sure if you google night terrors, you will probably get a lot of hits on parenting websites.
Hope that helps!
G.

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A.A.

answers from Denver on

Just a suggestion, but when my kids are crying or whining in their sleep I always wake them and have them go potty. The only reason I do this is to just get them out of whatever state of mind they are in and get them concentrated on something else to bring them out of it a little. It almost always works. Of course if you are really concerned I would talk to a doctor.

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K.B.

answers from Tucson on

Sounds like it might be night terrors. My daughter suffered from these at about seven years old. She would cry and not remember it in the morning. We had a sleep study done and it showed that she was not getting enough sleep. She was going through a growth spurt. Her body needed more sleep to catch up with her growth. We started having her nap/rest when she got home from school. She usually fell asleep and slept for about an hour. The night terrors went away after about two weeks of naps. When she stopped falling asleep for seven days in a row we stopped the rest time. We had one more episode about six months later and followed the same procedure. It worked again. My daughter has always needed more sleep than the "average" person. She is doing great now and has not had any more issues with night terrors. Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Tucson on

could it be a type of night terror? Those are typically brought on by being over tired. IS she getting enough shut eye at night? Has their been a major life change? I know my two year old has those when she doesn't get enough sleep= and she also has no memory of them.

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M.Z.

answers from Reno on

I think you should have talk with her teacher to see if anything has changed at school or if anything has happened you don't already know about. It would also be a good idea to talk to the school psychologist and see what he/she thinks. I would be very concerned too. If nothing at the school pans out then talk to your daughter's pediatrician and see if they can recommend someone you can talk to. I read a few of what other people have written, and your daughter may have night terrors like many seem to think. Then again, when my baby was waking up screaming every night everyone told me it was night terrors and he'd grow out of it, but it was really a bi-lateral ear infection and he was placed on antibiotics. I don't think it's the same with your daughter because she's old enough to tell you, I'm just recommending you read peoples advice, but follow your mommy instincts.

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M.J.

answers from Tucson on

Not to scare you even more, but you may want to talk to her doctor about this and perhaps get her checked for seizures (usually by an EEG)- given that she's sighing, shaking and disoreinted with each episode. Although some seizures follow typical symptoms, some are more vague like your daughter's symptoms.

M.
married, mom of 6 yr. old daughter, work full-time as developmental specialist in an early intervention program

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B.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

My daughter did the same thing at around the same ages but only for short periods of time. At first I got frustrated because there was nothing really physically wrong. As I started thinking she was watching a lot of t.v. and she always had a lot of questions about life and different things. I sensed that she needed more time with me or her dad. I tried to talk to her more and give her more loving and reassuring attention. I even turned some relaxing uplifting music when she went to bed. This seemed to help and it eventually stopped. I don't know what is right for you child but I hope it gets better for you.

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

She may be having 'Night Terrors'. Both my Brother and Sister had them as well as my oldest Daughter, she started having them around 3 as well. They seem to come and go, a lot of times they do come in clusters. My brother would have them really bad and even took off running out of the house a few times because he thought someone was after him and he had to get away so they wouldn't hurt us too. The good thing is that they hardly ever remember anything about it the next morning. I would talk to the pediatrician about it though, he may have some other idea's! Good Luck!

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T.S.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I have gone through the same exact thing with our daughter, she is 8 also. It started when she was about 2. She would start crying and then start screaming, for me, as if someone were after her. It was so strange because her eyes were open and it was like she was looking right through me when I would try to comfort her. Its called night terrors and they have no recollection of crying,screaming or even what they were dreaming at that time. It does not happen all the time for our daughter either, just occassionally. We have pinpointed that over stimulation, such as; having an unusually busy weekend or the excitement of relatives visiting. In first grade we had a two week period of night terrors every night, I ended up asking if there was anything making her nervous and gave some examples to her of what makes me nervous, turned out it was some work in the classroom ,as well as the teacher who had the kids terrified. I confronted the teacher with what we had been experiencing for that 2 week period. It's hard to find what triggers night terrors. There are books available. One thing to be aware of is to turn on a light when this occurs, due to the fact that they are still asleep (w/ their eyes open)the dark creates shadows and causes more panic for them. They do tend to grow out of this from what we understand. If you have any more questions let me know. I hope this helped.

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L.W.

answers from Santa Fe on

Try cutting out food coloring and preservatives.

If I want to keep us up all night, all I have to do is let my 9 year old get a hold of something with food coloring, and sure enough, she'll have night terrors. She has one that used to pop repeatedly up about a tiger biting her hand.
There are some homeopathic sleep aids. Calms forte I believe it is called. There are also teas that aid sleep.
I gave her another at one time, as she was dealing with the stress of separation, and am trying to remember which remedy it was..but within minutes she was so much more at ease.

Hope that helps and you all get some rest (not getting sleep can strain anyone and their relationships).

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S.D.

answers from Reno on

Please get her,in to see a doctor rightaway. There could be a problem. I am a C.N.A.,for a hospital. You have,a good reason to worry.

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have no idea if this will help. But our daughter who is 5 will cry in her sleep too. For the longest time we couldn't figure it out. She's completely out of it and won't wake up but will be some what calmed if we hold her. We discovered just lately that if we walk her to the bathroom and have her go potty she'll stop crying and go right back to sleep. It's worth I try I think. Hope you figure it out.

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M.M.

answers from Albuquerque on

I dont want to scare you, but have you talked to the Dr about this. I wonder if she isnt having seizures at night? I would ask the Dr about this. Good Luck, and hope that all turns out ok.

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K.J.

answers from Phoenix on

My niece has this, it is called night tremors, nothing you can do to prevent it. It is hereditary and children grow out of it. She is having nightmares that she does not remember and sometimes sleepwalking.

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R.J.

answers from Phoenix on

They're probably night terrors (nocturnal seizures). I had them from age 3 to age 9. I was on seizure meds during that time, which regulated my sleep patterns. I grew out of it. No long-term effects that we know of. I'd talk to her pediatrician, who may send you to a neurologist for overnight tests, but no need to stress out.

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