Eye Patch and Four Year Old

Updated on June 26, 2013
A.F. asks from Bellmore, NY
12 answers

My four year old daughter is required to wear an eye patch for most of the day. Before it was only a few hours a day. I know I am the parent and must MAKE her wear it but can someone please give me some ideas to motivate her to do it. I don't see how I will get her to wear it if she is in our pool though. I am thinking of all kinds of behavior charts to give her an incentive to wear the patch.

Alyssa will tell me she's "tired" to wear the patch but I know I can't let her get away with that comment. She attends daycare all day until this Friday, then she will be home with me. Except for the two separate weeks when we will be away (one trip is just my husband and I) I need to be on top of her.

I don't want to punish Alyssa when she has a tantrum, whines and cries over wearing the patch. But I also cannot afford to bribe her to wear the patch with expensive toys.

I just ordered a "Dora the Explorer" patch so I am hoping it will motivate her a little more. The one she has now is a butterfly. The patch covers her eye lense, it is not adhesive. Thank you for your advice.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I'm going to assume she's wearing it to correct amblyopia (lazy eye).

She needs to wear it. Perhaps she could dress like a pirate? Or decorate it with stickers? Or perhaps you could reward her with a scoop of ice cream after dinner? Or a trip to the park? Rewards don't have to be costly, and I think, in this situation, I'd be okay with some rewards for her patience. :-)

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't make her wear it in the pool or while running around if you can help it - it'll affect her depth perception and make her more clumsy.

My older two daughters have to wear eye patches for a couple of hours every day. They HATE it! And I can't blame them, but it's for their own good so I have to make them.

I do use a reward system. We went to the dollar store and I had them each pick out a smallish (it holds about 2 cups) jar with a LID. Then they decorated them. Every day that they wear their patches without a fit, they get to put a marble in their jar. Once the jar is too full to close, we go to the store and they get to choose a prize. Since it takes so long to fill the jar, we've only really bought 3 prizes so far and it's been about a year. Not too bad.

When my girls try to throw a tantrum about their patches, I remind them that they're allowed to not like it but they're NOT allowed to yell and throw a fit because their upset; that's not how we behave in our house. They usually calm down and do their time. If they insist on having a fit, I treat it like any other tantrum.

My oldest started wearing the patch when she was 2. So I know what a struggle it is.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am guessing that Alyssa has been evaluated by a pediatric ophthalmologist and they made this recommendation for the patch?? The only reason I am checking is that a regular ped recommending patching for my granddaughter while we were waiting for the ophthamologist appt. It turned out that she needed surgery instead of eye patching. (she had infantile esotropia, not amblyopia)) There are some great ideas on Pinterest and www.patchpals.com has some ideas you might find helpful. The Pinterest site has some kid books about eye patching too! Good luck!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Does she have to wear it in the pool? Maybe you can allow her a couple places that she doesn't have to wear it, like the pool or out to dinner? Let her pick so she has a little control in the matter. Yes, a dora one with her favorite character is a great idea. Also, you can do a sticker chart until it becomes a habit. Like if she wears it for 3 days you can go out for icecream or do some other activity she likes. My son hates taking medicine so when he has to take antibiotics his reward is any toy (under 10 dollars) that he wants. Make sure you are really consistent with whatever method you use and absolutely no treats of any kind unless she wears her patch.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I found this article on WEB-MD. It's talking about a specific eye condition, but is about children and patches. Probably the more control you can give her, and the more information you can give her, the better she will be able to comply.

Also, get whatever daycare, etc. onboard to help and encourage. If she can have it off for a certain amount of time, then pool time could fit in there. Or maybe black out swim googles on that side so it's black like a patch?

http://www.webmd.com/eye-health/how-to-help-your-child-we...#

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M.S.

answers from Tulsa on

Look at your library and see if you can find any books about kids who wear patches. Maybe let her decorate the patch herself. Make the patch seem really cool. Try this book. http://www.amazon.com/The-Patch-Justina-Chen-Headley/dp/1...

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think that you should make her wear it in the pool. If my kid threw a tantrum no matter what it was for they would get punished. She does not understand why she needs to wear this so I know it's frustrating but that does not mean you don't make sure she dons't act right. Do they have you doing anything else with her besides just the patch?

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wear one when she does, be the cool Mom. Kids are often more willing to do something if we are. Put yours on first and say "It's patch time! " and smile.

Target sells these, we've used them for a pirate tea party and Jake and the Never Land Pirates birthday party. I dolled up the ones for girls, she might like to switch patches each day, these are inexpensive. "
http://www.target.com/p/spritz-foam-pirate-eye-patch-favo...

Bribe at your risk, it sets her up for expecting a reward for doing something she should. Get a week's worth of Dollar store goodies, give her one on days she doesn't whine, tantrum, say she's "tired" or cry and wears it cooperatively. Once they're gone, you're done. Also consider using DVD's or an extra TV show as incentives, it worked when potty training my guy at 26 months, he got to watch 30-60 minutes of my (so I stayed in control and it was a true incentive) Toy Story DVD when he went poop on the potty. Use things you have as incentives and save money.

And pool time she doesn't need the patch. That's her "free" time.
__________________________________
ETA - Thinking about this and found a book that might help her -
http://www.amazon.com/The-Patch-Justina-Chen-Headley/dp/1...

Also, here are cute self-adhesive patches (work with her body heat -
http://www.amazon.com/Ortopad-Girls-Eye-Patches-Regular/d...
Ones with glitter accents -
http://www.amazon.com/Ortopad-Elite-Girls-Eye-Patches/dp/...

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A.S.

answers from New York on

Hey A.,

It can be really frustrating for a 4-year old to have to wear something that impedes her vision. My suggestion? Wear an eye patch too. Kids mimic the behaviors of parents and if your daughter sees mommy wearing one, she'll think it's cool too.

Take it a bit further and decorate or even create a theme around it. Pretend you're swashbuckling pirates and you're looking for buried treasure. Get a map and pretend every day that you're setting out to discover something new and exciting. Hide things around the house to pique her interest.

Hope this helps.
A

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Can you pick up some cheap dress-up clothes? I'm thinking a "girl-pirate" outfit would be perfect, but anything remotely connected would probably work.

In general I think a reward that's connected to the task at hand ("If you wear your pink patch, you get to wear your pink princess dress") is better than a reward that's more removed ("If you wear your patch, you get a sticker/candy/etc.). That way, you're making the thing itself positive, rather than signalling that's its so negative it requires "payment."

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L.W.

answers from Albany on

I had similar issues with my (then) 3 year old and patching. Quite honestly, in the summer, I didn't make him wear it as much as in the winter, because it was fleece (Winnie the Pooh, Elmo) and it was HOT. (Fortunately, by the time he was in first grade, he didn't need patching anymore...)

HOWEVER, what we have done in the past (which has worked) is there are certain things he CAN do when wearing the patch that he can't do otherwise (hand held game, Wii, etc.) AND we set up an incentive chart. I bought a Wii game I KNEW he would love, and displayed it prominently, but not within reach. I made a sticker chart. He got a sticker for each day that he wore the patch the required number of hours. I let him pick WHEN we put it on, but then it had to stay on for the required amount of time. (Taught him some time management at the same time.) When he had two full weeks of stickers IN A ROW, he got the game. And then we picked out another game, and he had to go THREE weeks.
HTH

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J.D.

answers from Norfolk on

After getting bored with the different patterns we found (we use the adhesive ones), I started decorating plain adhesive ones with drawings of my son's favorite characters (currently Pokemon). I'm not the best artist, but I guess since I draw, well, copy, better than a five year old, he loves it. Sometimes he enjoys drawing on them himself. Picking out the design he wants to wear each day makes wearing a patch more tolerable for him.

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