First Time Mom - Abington,PA

Updated on April 02, 2008
J. asks from Abington, PA
35 answers

Hi, everyone i need some advice my son is 18 months and still sleeps in our bed. I the reason is been be lazying in adjusting he's crib to to lowest setting. Over the weekend we finally lowered it to the last setting and we tryed to put him in it. He started crying so my husband and i sat in the livingroom to let him cry it out and fall asleep it was 15 mins into the crying and then we heard a thump he some how got out of the crib we couldn't believe it. What should we do. We were going to change it to toddler bed but we live in twin which r whole upstairs is a house and first floor is the basement and stairs that if he gets up when we r sleep he would open the door and fall what should we do. H E EE LLL PPPP!

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D.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi. My son was 2 when he climbed out of his bed in the night. We SKIPPED the toddler bed thing and went with a twin, we also used a gate at the bedroom doorway. However, he did stay in his bed through the night. You could try laying with him in TWIN bed until he gets use to it, get a night time routine with him, bath, story, etc.

C.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would put him in the toddler bed. My daughter slept with us until she was about 18m. It was always easier cause we both worked and the only way to get sleep was to put her in with us and the fact that we lived with my mom so the crib was in the same room. I would put a gate up or one of those child safe door handle coverings that allow adults to opent he door but the child can't. My daughter is now 4 and i still have a gate on her room for the fear of her falling down the stairs in the middle of hte night.

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A.B.

answers from Lancaster on

can you put a gate on his door? My friend put 2 gates so her son wasnt able to climb over it.....she said it took awhile but he is now in his room in a toddler bed.

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B.M.

answers from Allentown on

J.,

Hi, you could try a gate in his doorway and explain to him to call you and your husband when he wakes in the morning. I did this with my now 2 1/2 year old son and it worked great. oh and get him out of the crib he can really get hurt if he keeps climbing out. they also sell crib tents to keep him in if your not ready to put him in a big boy bed. also, on my sons bed we used a side rail so he didn't fall out during the night. hope this helps.

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J.B.

answers from Allentown on

After you've done all the appropriate calming, reassuring and comforting things when your trying to put him to sleep- I would also childproof his room and put up a baby gate to his doorway!!! We had a similar situation with my daughter and she would get up during the night (sleep walking I think) and would walk around the house. Sometimes she would go downstairs and other times she would wander into our room in the middle of the night. We had one episode with her when she wandered downstairs to our living room behind the couch and started to cry- but it took a few minutes to find her. It was nerve wracking and very scary!! You definitely don't want to go through that!!

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J.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would suggest putting him in a toddler bed or twin bed with rails. He can get seriously hurt climbing out/falling out of the crib. As for danger of opening the doors, you can get child safety covers for all the exterior/interior doorknobs that you do not want him to accidentally open. They run about $5 for a set of 3. (secure grip clear doorknob covers)For stairs and other areas you can get a gate without rails so that he is unable to climb over it. Safety first makes a great adjustable gate that is clear plastic and has no footholds or rails for children to utilize to climb over. You can use it on stairs or door openings. It can be mounted with a hinge or just installed as a pressure gate.

Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Johnstown on

I dont know if I can be much help but I can tell you I know where you are coming from. Sometimes sleeping and bed time rotines can be hard. We have A 5year old boy and A 3 year old girl that have shared A room since she was born. Our son slept with us for 3 years because he hated his tddler bed and it became A bad habit to sleep with us. We just finally got him to stay in his bed this year. We had to because his sister is old enough now to say she wants in our bed too. that really made things bad.What if you get A twin bed, lay with him read to him or even let him wath tv(even though some parents might not aprove) then when he falls asleep you can go to bed. you can gradully stop that and just go in and read to him or just "tuck" him in. Its worth to efort now. You dont want to be like my cousin her son is 11 and still sleeps with them. oh yeah get a good gate for the steps there out there. good luck. K.

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R.S.

answers from Allentown on

if he won't stay in his crib than it is time for a big boy bed.
As we raise our kids we learn to take their cue on when they are ready to do things...Your son not staying in his crib is a clue that he is ready.

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S.R.

answers from Allentown on

A friend of mine had the same problem and she ordered a tent that goes over any crib. You might want to check out www.onestepahead.com I think it might run about $80 but maybe it will help? Hope this helped ya out...and things work out for you : )

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes--everyone says to leave them in the crib until they can climb out. You don't want him getting hurt. I would suggest leaving the side of the crib down so he will not fall from so high. Or just get him a twin and use safety rails (you cannot use most safety rails on a toddler bed--it's just a smaller drop to the floor!) Put it against the wall and use O. rail on the other side. Also, the crib tent might work if you need to wait a little longer to get a twin. ALSO, a baby gate at his doorway sounds like a must for your situation. We have stairs right across from my son's bedroom doorway and it was always my fear that he would just run out and fall down the stairs. We used a gate and he never climbed it--although some kids seem to be able to scramble over them with no trouble--we were lucky & our son wasn't a climber! Good luck.
p.s. I think most kids have a tumble or two off of the crib, toddler bed (we used to hear a "thump" and he would be on the floor--still sleeping! :), or twin bed (use those rails!). Be sure, since he seems to be a climber that all dressers, bookcases, etc in his room are secured to the walls with safety straps--they're inexpensive and easy to install. Kids can pull over a dresser easily when trying to climb them! Televisions too!

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P.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

J.,
My son always liked his own space since birth, but always slept in our room. He first slept in a bassinet in our room. When he outgrew it, I placed his crib in our room. Eventually, I decided to move his crib to his own room, but he did not want to sleep in his room.

My son defied the odds and tore down every safety feature in the house including the stove protector. He was a wanderer and I was afraid that he would either tumble downstairs or go outside in the middle of the night. (He once undid both locks on the backdoor and went outside.) I bought a safety knob for his room door. It is a plastic safety knob that slips right over the doorknob. It is easy for adults, but difficult for kids to open. This was the only safety gadget that he could not undo. I kept the baby monitor on so that I could hear if he started wandering around in his room.

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B.D.

answers from Lancaster on

Well,I had a daughter that would always climb out of her crib - my husband even tied rails from a bunkbed on the sides to make it higher -but that only held her for a little! Sorry to say, I was determined to win that war - kept putting her in the crib 50 times a night. Realized I'd let her win.....people gave me grief about her sleeping with us - I really didn't mind - she moved out in to .her room when she was older. I think you're problem was you let him into your bed to begin with (which was mine also). I know this isn't much advice, but I enjoyed reminidcing, and wish you luck!

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T.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

One thing you could do is let him cry for 10 minutes, go in and reassure him that he is fine and lay him down. Continue to do this every 10 minutes, but the more you go in the less you talk to him.

Your other option would be to put him in a toddler bed, but remember it will be easier for him to get to your bed. If you do this, do you have a babygate to put up at his doorway, that only you and your husband can step over to get to him?

Hope you find a solution.

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A.F.

answers from Scranton on

Baby gates. My daughter would constantly get out of bed and roam around. we originally tried to just put the gate at the top of the stairs but she'd end up in the bathroom, in the closets, everywhere she shouldn't be. We finally put the gate at her room door. I'd wake in the middle of the night to find her sleeping curled up right next to the gate. After putting her back into her bed a few nights in a row she finally stayed there. that's scary that he was able to get out of the crib. you're lucky he didn't hurt himself.

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H.F.

answers from York on

Can you get some kind of good gate that has a lock and at night lock it right at his door. If not you could always move his bed into your room.
Good Luck to you

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

It will take time to transition him. My lil guy still sleeps with us but its because we lived in an 8*7 room (it was our kitchen/br/lr/dr and we shared a bathroom with 4 other people). We just got our own place and he's getting used to the place.

However, when he lays down for naps, we put him in his bed in his room. I think it will be a few months until we're both ready for him to go to his own bed, but we're working on it slowly.

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If you switch to the toddler bed why not put a baby gate at his door so that he can not wander about the house?

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi,
You need secure baby gates all over your house. They should be bolted to the wall when at the top of the steps. The One Step Ahead catalog and website is a good resource.

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Im having the same problem with my 15 month old toddler. He wont sleep by him self.

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J.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

We purchased a crib tent when our 21/2 year old started to climb out of the crib when he was 11 months old. It was the best thing that we could have done....he LOVED it and it gave us peace of mind. In fact, when we did move him to a big boy bed when the baby came, we had to get him a car tent for his bed so he would stay in it.
The sell the tents at babies r us.

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

My 2 1/2 year old gets out of his bed in the middle of the night as well and comes into our room. I tried a gate at his door, but unless the gate is screwed into the wall, it doesn't work. The "non-attached" gate was basically destroyed when my son pushed and pushed until it flew out of his doorway. So, if you get a gate, make sure it is screwed into the wall or its not going to work.
If you have the room, I'd go straight to a full bed. There is a lot more room for the child to toss and turn in and it will be more like your bed. I think the reason my son wakes up in the middle of the night is that he hits the rails on his toddler bed.
Another idea, put a chain lock on your door so that if he gets up and opens the door, the chain will stop him. I also bought these little alarms from Walmart for about $10. It is 2 pieces, 1 on the door, 1 on the door jam. When the door is opened, the alarm sounds. They may give you some added peace of mind.
Good luck. I know how you feel.

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M.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,
Since he hasn't slept by himself for so long, you might want to try and just put him in his crib or toddler bed for naps to get him used to it. Then after about a week, start putting him in his bed at night. Do you have a night time routine? I used to sit on the floor next to my daughter's bed,I wouldn't talk to her, but it made her more comfortable knowing that I was there. And eventually, the time got shorter that I was in there. We switched her from crib to bed when she turned 2, and it took a couple months to figure out what worked. We did the crying out thing too, the longest she cried was about 40 mins. But when she would wake up in the middle of the night, we didn't want to bring her in with us. So we started staying in her room with her longer. Sometimes it was for an hour. But we have a routine now, bath, books, prayers,talk about our day and then she's off to sleep. Our routine takes about an hour, depending how long I let her play in the tub. We also put a small gate in her door
but we never closed her door all the way. I had a foam block on it so it wouldn't shut all the way. Good luck.

T.R.

answers from Scranton on

When our son(he'll be 2 next Tuesday) started getting out, one of us would stand in the room until he fell asleep. Now we let him fall asleep with one of us, on the living room floor, and then put him in when he's sleeping. This has worked for the last two or three months.
Good luck.

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H.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Is his crib empty?

Anything in his crib can be used to climb out. Remove the bumper pad and all toys, especially the ones that mount to the sides as they can provide leverage.

And any furniture next to the bed might help him “escape” too.

Honestly once he masters getting out you won’t be able to keep him in if he wants out. I think the safest thing would be a toddler bed or putting his mattress on the floor until he adjusts to the new bed, and gate the door.

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L.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have a friend who put a crib tent on her son's tent to keep him in...she had to secure the zipper too because he figured it out. But now he stays in. Babies r us sells the crib tent or I'm sure you can find it online, good luck!

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D.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.,

I so know that feeling my daughter began climbing out of her crib and we changed her crib into a daybed two days later. After a few days of her sneaking out of her room we put a lock on her door to give us peace of mind at night. We have a video camera monitor and it was took about 2 weeks for her to stay in her bed and sleep. Sometimes I find her with all her toys and books in her bed and the occasional sleeping on the floor but otherwise a very easy adjustment. I took her to the store and let her pick out a big girl pillow case and got her toddler bedding which seemed to help. You may be able to get a crib tent if you really are not ready for him to be out of the crib. Good luck to you and your little climber :)

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C.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi,
Get him a toddler bed for sure, it may take a week or so of work/fussing to get him to understand its his and to stay in it at night, but it can be done, we all have had to deal w/the transformation of crib to bed when they are too old/big for the crib. Also get a hook and eye latch for the door so he cant open it.. (keep the door locked)

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with another poster that toddler beds are a waste of money. You'd be better off putting the rails of the crib all the way down. We had to put a safety door knob thing on the inside of our son's bedroom door. This was to ensure that he didn't fall down the stairs or escape our house all together. He ended up sleeping on the floor of his bedroom for a while and we even put his mattress on the floor for him. This too shall pass! If I had it to do all over again, I would have put my kids in big boy beds with side rails much earlier and we would have all slept a lot better!

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E.S.

answers from Allentown on

I know what you are going through, We have a 25 month old and he still shares our bed even though he has his own. He naps fine on his own, but at night it is another story. 2 weeks ago we put a sleeping bag on the floor and we take turns sleeping with him on the floor by our bed, but he always ends up crawling back into our bed. My husband can't stand to see him cry, so that method won't work for us. Wish you luck, we're still stuck on that one.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

We had the same problem with 2 of our 3 children. Both jumped out of the crib at 18 months. The first one we just took apart the crib and put the mattress on the floor. The 2nd one, we did buy a toddler bed to put the crib mattress in. Then we put a baby gate on the door of their room, so they couldn't fall down the stairs if they got up. Make sure their room is child-proof so they can't hurt themselves on anything and have a baby monitor, so if they cry or yell for you, you will hear it. I had some toys in there that they played with if they got up and this kept them busy for a few moments. Hope this helps. C.

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D.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.:
My son did the same thing after the experience, we purchased a regular bed and purchased the bed rails (my little sister sleeps in a twin bed with bed rails and no problems.) My parents had a difficult time getting her to sleep in her bed but we allowed her to cry and when she would get out of bed we would take her back to her room, now she sleeps in her room all night even in the day time. I would purchase a gate if the door has to be open but I would keep door close at all times. You can use a child safety device on the doors. Best wishes.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Put a lock on the door high enough that he can't reach it. More than likely he'll just come to your bed anyway.

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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

Personally I think toddler beds are a waste of money. They are basically a crib with guard rails. If you can eek it out until he's two if you don't feel comfortable doing it right away. Get a twin size bed, you can even just put it on the floor or use guard rails. It is a more expensive option but he'll need one someday anyhow.
In the long run a Twin bed is easier and since he's used to sleeping with you, you can lay next to him until he's gone to sleep.

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L.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Some people don;t like the co sleep. Some studies have shown the benfits of it. Then there are some people that never have there childern leave to there own room.

As for the monkey you have. You might want to vist get him to get out of the bed (yours). Maybe make a bed on your floor or on his floor. Or make it a game. Your little one has gotten to like the idea of being close. My children's crib would turn into a day bed. And that is what they would use. My one son i would have to turn his around. No matter what he would fall out of bed. But he got better,

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S.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

While my oldest daughter never actually escaped the crib, as soon as I found out she was able to put her leg up to the top rail we moved her out of the crib. We were fortunate though, because the crib we were using actually converted to a day bed. So we just removed the front rail part and bought bed rails to prevent her from rolling out of bed while she was sleeping. When she outgrew that, we moved her right to twin bed, obviously still using the bed rails. If your crib doesn't convert to a day bed, I would save yourself the money and just go right to a big boy bed for him. Why spend the money on a toddler bed that he will just grow out of and then still have to buy a twin/full bed? If you are worried about him falling out bed during the night, you could always just buy the mattress and put it right on the floor.

And as far as him sneaking out, I would buy a gate to block his bedroom door and also the stairs. I would stay away from locking his door, because in the event of a fire or emergency (God forbid!) a lock may be more of a hinderence than anything else. Most of us aren't clear headed during the middle of the night, and when you are panicking because something is wrong, a lock would just prevent you from getting to your child. Just something to think about.

Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!

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