Friend Is a Bad Example

It would cause a problem if you told them you didn't want your son around their's, that should almost be guaranteed. Can you arrange playdates to be at your house where you can monitor what is being done and said and encourage the other boy to follow your rules while in your home? I have done this in the past. My boys had friends who were rougher talking, I would have the boys to my home, correct them if they used language or behaviors I disagreed with, plied them with home made goodies, and modeled interaction. I don't know if any of it stuck for them, but I was able to have more control over the situation. If your friends won't moderate, then it's up to you and your son is your responsibility. If the friendship has to go, it just does. As a side note, he's about to start school and you CANNOT monitor that, so continue instilling your values in him at home and talk to him about what he sees. My kids know how they are allowed to act at home, what is okay. They don't act too differently with their friends that I can tell, from what I get from our conversations. I know my 14 year old swears around his friends sometimes. I told him that he's never to swear at home or in adult presence and that I would hope he keeps in mind he can be a positive force for other kids if he follows his own line and beliefs.

I have that exact same situation. There is a new boy that just moved in, and ever since my son started playing with him his behavior is unexcpetable he talks back to me. The other day he came home crying because the boy threw a rock at his head, and I told him NOT to play with him at all anymore. He came over here wanting to play, and my son didn't want to because he was playing video games and he weasled him outside by saying "Oh come on out and play, we'll do something fun ..and then through a rock at his head!!" I haven't met his parents, maybe it's a good thing. I try to avoid confrontation as much as I can. Then a little while later he came over, and I asked him if he did what he did and he just hung his head down, and said "Yes, and sorry" ..and walked away, and we haven't seen him since then.

K.,
I have had the same situation in my neighborhood. Sometimes I have to call and talk to the mother and tell her that I would love for the two kids to play together but I feel sad that my kid is being exposed to negative behavior. Tell the mother that sometimes you feel-thats the important word. I feel. If you say this it is an opinion and you have a right to express that. Explain the behavior to the motherand ask her what she might suggest. Try to work with her. I find this works best for me. When kids are young it's easier to control their friends than when they get older. If you get a grip on it now,it will help them see a pattern as they grow up. Good Luck!!!

The neighbor child has picked up these abusive things from somewhere and I would be sure that I did not have my child around him other than when I was around. That would mean that when they play togehter you would be there, not just his parents. That child needs some positive feedback as well and will not mind being around you if you are giving it to him as well.

Good luck, you can make a difference for both your own children and their friends. I tend to blame the parents at this age, the child does not know that he is saying awful things because he is hearing them somewhere from people who are probably supposed to love him and he is repeating them.

do the boys play at your house? then you could tell the other child that that kind talk and behavior aren't allowed at your house. and if he wants to keep coming over to play he'll have to go by your rules. and just keep telling your son that he(your son) does a good job of not copying the other boy.

1. Explain to your son that: (friend) isn't a bad person, he's just hasn't finished learning how to be a good friend yet
2. Don't let (friend) come inside your house - explain to your son that your home will always be a safe place for him, and that if he needs a break from (friend) he can just come inside.