Frustrated with Diaper Changing

Updated on March 23, 2010
N.C. asks from Coppell, TX
23 answers

My 14 month old son flips onto his tummy, cries and puts up a terrible fight at every diaper change. It's so wearing. There's nothing I can tell physically causing his tears (i.e. no diaper rash, tummy ache, etc.). It's actually recently started since he began walking. I've tried all the tricks: giving a toy, cheerios, a drink, etc. NOTHING seems to keep his attention long enough. Oddly, he doesn't do this after his bath. It seems to be only during the day time. Anyone experience this?

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K.W.

answers from Abilene on

My 14 month old does the same thing. I've recently tried distracting her by asking her where different parts of her body are (eyes, mouth, head, hands, nose, ears, etc...). It's the only thing that has worked for me.

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L.K.

answers from Dallas on

I read this in Parents magazine and it worked for me. I pretend that his little foot is a phone and talk to someone that he loves holding his foot to my ear. Then I ask him if he wants to talk too.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

i like what marie m had to say. but this is pretty much a control thing to me. he is saying he isn't going to do what you want him to do. i would tell him he has to lay still while you are changing his diaper. when he starts to roll over give him a light swat on the thigh or the bottom with your hand. tell him you love him but he has to stay still while mommy changes his diaper. the thing to teach him is that you love him and you know what is safe and best for him. He needs to obey you to stay safe because when you tell him to do something it's for his best. he is plenty old enough to understand. kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. good luck

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

I am so glad to see your post - I have the same problem and I've tried just about everything - except the warnings. I'm just about at my wits end, I'm so tired at the end of every diaper change I feel like I've just had a work out! I will definitely begin giving a one minute warning - I'll try anything at this point! Good luck and thanks again for the post!

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

Dear N.:
That sounds exactly like my daughter!! She was ready to go places and in no mood for diaper changes. I learned to do fast changes while my daughter was standing. It seemed if I did the majority with her standing, we could get a laying down change ever so often.

Good luck, it's a fun age!

L. F., mom of a 14-year-old daughter

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Yeah, I think they all go through this. The important thing is, DO NOT give him attention when he does this. Simply continue changing his diaper, and NEVER let him get away without getting his diaper changed when he acts like that. Eventually, he will figure out that he can't fight you, because what you say goes.

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

This is completely typical of a baby with a newfound skill like walking. Mine did it with both crawling and walking. He would freak out like I was torturing him, just for a simple diaper change. I tried the standing up thing one time, and decided he was just gonna have to learn to deal with it. I did not want to be doing stand-up changes forever. I actually had to pin him down at times by changing him on the floor and throwing my leg over his body. What worked the best though for the most part was counting with him. Sort of like the ABC suggestion, and I did that too, but I started with counting. I would tell him even at 8 mos that it wasn't going to take long, just until I counted to ten. He obviously didn't completely understand me, but he caught on pretty quick that 10 meant done. I would count as slow or as fast as I needed to, and would have him repeat numbers if it was a poopy diaper and I needed extra time. Is he talking yet at all? Mine could count to ten by about this age, and it was solely from those diaper changes. He talked pretty early, so that helped, but like I said, I started it even before he was talking. It didn't last long, he outgrew it after a month or two each time.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I always played the "where is your eyes, nose, ears..." game. This kept the kiddo busy enough while I changed diapers fast, and made it a fun time. As a bonus they knew all their body parts rather quickly even eybrows and elbows! At the end I would usually say, "where is my kisses?" and would give a kiss and tickle.

J.W.

answers from Seattle on

Both my boys did it and I'm expecting my daughter to do it too. When mine did it I would just put my legs out straight and put them on the boys' arms so they couldnt roll. Don't push so hard you hurt them, just set them on there and the weight of your legs is more than they can lift generally. sometimes you will have to flex and hold them in place because after awhile they will learn that they can squirm and get out of it...

S.H.

answers from Nashville on

Both of my boys did this at that age too. My youngest is 18 months now and it does not matter if I change him on the changing table or on the floor, he manages to flip over with his butt up in the air.. Sometimes toys work, but most of time it just takes me two or three attempts. Have you tried stretching your legs out straight so that he is laying tightly inbetween them? I do not pin his arms or anything but find that just having him laying like this helps
S.
www.HappyWorkAtHomeMoms.com

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M.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Sounds completely crazy, but I have done this with both my children and it has truly seriously help make diaper changing soooooo much easier. Make sure you give them a warning.. "I need to change your diaper in a minute" and then wait a minute and say "okay it's time to change your diaper".. It may take a little while but soon they will understand and it will give them a chance to calm down and know what is going to happen. Many times we just grab the kids and take them to change the diaper without warning. That will make them upset because they were busy doing something and you took them away from it. Probably the reason he does so well after the bath is because he is expecting it, knows it going to happen. So maybe if you give him a little warning he will expect it and not throw a tantrum.

I remember reading a suggestion on mammasource and thinking that's crazy my 11mo will not understand, it took about a week and by the end of that week she would settle down and even after a little while would walk over to me and lay on the ground.. Give it a shot, it doesnt hurt to try. And just continue to make it fun when you are changing him, singing, counting saying your ABCs.. you'll be amazed.

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

It may sound mean but the only way we were able to change our boys when they got to this phase was to pin them down. I would sit on the floor, lay my son in front of me with his feet toward me (normal changing position) & put my ankles on his upper arms to hold him down. a quick change & he was done.
After a while my son would actually lay down in front of me & put his arms out for me to pin him down (by then he stopped fighting me).
Personally I have changed wet diapers while he was standing up (ex. in a public bathroom that didn't have a changing area), but I can't imagine trying to change a messy poopy diaper & getting his bottom completely clean while he was standing.
Good luck!

God bless!

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

Take a COLD, stinging wet-wipe and slap it on your bottom. I know I'd try to get away, too, if someone did that to me. If you already have a WARMER for your diaper wipes, then maybe the wipes have an alcohol content that stings sensitive areas. When my kids were little, there were no such things as wipe warmers. I changed them by the bathroom sink, and used paper towels moistened with warm water. Only used brand-name wipes when away from the house. If wipes you use are already GENTLE on sensitive skin, and already WARM, then definitely try the advice of Marie M. Give a 5-min. warning, so they have time to bring closure to whatever imagination game they were in the middle of.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Both of my kids did this too. My solution: Lay him on the floor on his back. Sit beside him and place your leg (closest to his head) gently over his tummy to keep him in place. Then change his diaper. It does require that you are a little flexible, but it works. With my daughter it got to the point that all I had to say when she started to pitch a fit about a change was "do you want my leg?" and she would say "no" and hold still for me on her own.

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B.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

All I can say is that I remember that stage! My son became the biggest wiggle worm in the world - it is all about the new found skills that he has. I guess I'm just offering that it's totally normal, it means he's developing correctly, and it will pass. My 3.5 year-old and I are living proof! :)

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

Working in a daycare in college we changed many of the kiddos between 1yr & 2 yrs standing up. Some babies really do not like this if they are used to laying down, but if he throws a fit this may feel better to him.

T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried changing him standing up? It's not the easiest for poopy diapers, but we did this with my son a lot of times out in public, or when he was not helpful on the changing table. You get better at it the more you do it, but it can be a bit easier sometimes. Try it and see how it works for you. Maybe the change will have him behave better. Just have him lean up against something, or hold onto something while you change him.

Good luck!
T.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.,

I have twin boys that are 23 m/o today. My biggest twin did the same thing when he began walking. I had to gently & patiently deal w/him while keeping him laying down to change his diaper...not the easiest thing to do. It only lasted for 3-4 weeks. So, there's light at the end of the tunnel! Many blessings to you & your family
S.

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

Turn him once, say a firm "NO" and if he does it again, slap his thigh, just enough to get his attention and mean it when you do. Now is the time to let him know you are in charge, not him. Do it again until he stops, even if he cries, he is a baby and needs to obey. Tricks, toys and food do not teach the bahavior problem, it needs to stop now. Just like calling them to come to you-same thing. They must learn to obey but do it with love and frimness.

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

We change our son standing up, since he does this also. We keep him occupied by putting a few toys on the coffee table or ottoman and let him stand there, or let him stand at his activity table, and change away. We've gotten pretty fast at it.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I started singing the ABC song to my child when diaper changing became a battle. It worked and I was introducing something educational to her at the same time. Give it a try!

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

Try changing it while he stands up.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

We tell her that we are about to change her diaper, will be singing Old McDonald and to be thinking of animals. Then, we let her pick the animal we are going to sing the verse with. It keeps her occupied thinking of the next animal & there is less fighting. Kind of goofy....but it works for us.

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