Getting 17 Month Old to Brush Teeth.

Updated on April 07, 2008
G.L. asks from Cottondale, AL
28 answers

My daugther allowed us to brush her first 2 teeth when she was 7 months old but after she got her top two at about 10 months she has grown more and more resistant to allowing us to brush her teeth. Now at 17 months she freaks out and has a meltdown every time. We have tried different brushes, playing games, watching in mirror, letting her do it first but it always ends up my husband holding her arms and me trying to get in her mouth. She acts like she is scared, hurting, mad that were invading her mouth??? I have no idea why she gets so upset. She has 16 teeth and i am not about to allow them to rot until she gets her adult teeth. Anybody deal with this?

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J.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My daughter threw a massive fit every time we brushed her teeth for about a year, and now she's fine with it (she's now 2). As frustrating as it was, I just kept holding her down and brushing her teeth, because dental hygiene, whether she likes it or not, is important. Eventually she calmed down and stopped fighting my, but it took a while. She's a very strong willed and opinionated little girl, which can be very good qualities when channeled correctly. But when it comes to her health and wellbeing, I gently and firmly insist, even if it causes constant meltdowns.

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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I had the same problem with my daughter at that age. I took her to a pediatric dentist around 20 months. He asked how her brushing was at that time and I told him she fights it. So here is what a pediatric dentist told me to do. He told me to have my husband hold her down while I brush. He said it is all about breaking there will. I tell you what it only took a few times of doing that before she decided she did not want to do that anymore. The dentist told me he did the same thing with his children at that age. I believe it is the age. It is not much fun to here them scream and fight but it was well worth it. She loves to brush her teeth now and has since then. My daughter is now 4 years old. Good luck.

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A.W.

answers from New Orleans on

My 17 month old is doing the same thing. When I took her to the dentist a couple months ago, they recommended just what you're doing. My husband holds her arms, and I brush her teeth. The dentist said it's only really important at night.

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K.S.

answers from Tulsa on

Just a thought.... Does your child still sit in a highchair for mealtimes? You might try giving her a toothbrush while she sits in her chair and letting her explore her own mouth. Tell her after she brushes her teeth she may get down and play. Keep offering it to her. Give her a little cup of water to dip it in. Get your toothbrush and let her brush your teeth while you sit next to her. Take turns brushing eachothers teeth with your own toothbrushs. Sing a song as you do it. Oh boy isnt this fun? Chances are it is about control right now. It may have become such an issue that she just isnt signing up for this activity anymore. If you make it part of the ritual she will get the idea. In the meantime stay away from sodapop, juice, candy, too many fruits. You may have to work your way back up to brushing teeth regularly.
Good luck

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S.W.

answers from Montgomery on

At this age it is got to be thier idea. Her teeth WILL NOT rot if you lay off the forced tooth brushing for a while.

What causes tooth rot at this age is giving a bottle of milk or juice for them to take to bed.
the sugars stay in there mouth and rot there teeth.

I provided both my boys at this age a stage one toothbrush, and let them chew on it while I was brushing my own teeth. They are little mimics, and soon they would mimic me. The youngest copied his big brother. I use the Orajel toddler tooth gel. They like the flavor and tend to suck on it but it works.

Once, they learn to spit (age 3) I switched to regular tooth paste.

The oldest is five and has healthy teeth. He has been seeing the dentist since age 3.

The youngest will see the dentist later this year after he turns 3.

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R.L.

answers from Monroe on

G.,
My dentist gave me an InfaDent. Its a little rubber thing you put on your finger and it has soft bristles on one side. Its much softer than a toothbrush and your daughter may be more receptive to something a bit smaller. Here is the link to a website of the manufacturer. I don't think that pinning her down is such a good idea. IMO I think it makes the whole experience more traumatizing for you and the child thus causing the whole production each time.

http://www.auspharm.com.au/infadent.html Perhaps ask your dentist if they have these. HTH.

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A.H.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I worked as a pediatric dental assistant before I had my baby and became a stay at home mom. I don't want to offend anyone but the claim that your child's teeth are immune to cavities or won't rot is not true. Brushing (I hate to make it harder but flossing too) teeth right now is so very important because this is the age that they start to realize what is important to YOU and it starts becoming important to them. You would not believe how many small babies and children I saw with tons of cavities! Their parents weren't bad parents either, they just didn't know or they didn't want to make their child unhappy!

Here are some ideas you can try out:

*Have a girl time or princess time: ask if she wants to brush your hair and help you brush your teeth, teach her how to brush YOUR teeth properly, depending on how she reacts tell her you want her to try it with hers.

*Give a play toothbrush and a string of floss (call it fairy hair or princess string) to brush and floss her baby doll's teeth. Allow her to do this without trying to brush or floss her teeth right then unless she asks. Let her just play and practice. Praise her a lot! Praise the doll for being so good too.

*See if just telling her in an excited voice "Let's go brush our teeth now!" BEFORE you get to the bathroom so it is not a surprise.

*Even chewing on a toothbrush several times a day with or without toothpaste will help a lot.

*Talk to her about it like when you are eating lunch or just whenever she is in a good mood and there is no pressure: using simple language like "It makes mommy really sad that we have a hard time brushing teeth." " Your teeth and toothbrush are friends with each other and they like to play, don't you like to play with your friends?" Be creative.

Keep trying. Try to make it a good experience and be in a good mood yourself. Try for at least 10 minutes before you resort to holding her down. Stay calm throught the whole thing. Flossing will take a lot longer and try really hard not to hold her down with flossing because she will bite down on your finger. You can try disposable flossers and see if she likes those. Good Luck.

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A.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

G.: I honestly think that you should just take a step back from brushing for a few days. I think your family has got into a bad loop by holding her down and brushing her teeth. She has made it into a production, and while it is true that her oral health is your responsibiilty, maybe it is a good time to let her have a role in it. It won't hurt her to skip a few days, (trust me I have skipped days and no cavities in either my 3 or 5 year old, especially if you stay away from bad foods) then slowly pick it back up. Let her pick out a cute toothbrush and toothpaste (even if you already have those), then let her brush first and you "finish up". You can get flossers in fun colors that she can do first, then you finish up too, that will help keep her teeth clean since the brushing alone might not be as thorough as it should be. When I take my girls to the dentist my hygienist friend suggests just brushing with a bare toothbrush, no toothpaste, saying that will work just fine. My now 3 year old hated teeth brushing around 18 months and I think it is because she wants to be in control. The finishing up technique worked, and actually she wouldn't let me finish, but she would let her daddy finish. So maybe switching roles will help. Save the holding down her arms technique for oral medicines :)

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

My daughter is 2 (25 months) and she doesn't really let me help her brush her teeth either. She LOVES to do it on her own, but I'm not sure how much brushing she actually does!!

I don't have a lot of advice to offer, but you might try taking her to see a pediatric dentist. I believe at this age they will just get a look of her teeth & perhaps they will have some ideas on how to help her brush her teeth. I plan to take my daughter in the next few months to see a pediatric dentist for the first time. Her pediatrician said to take her sometime between the age of 2 and 3.

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M.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Your daughter may have very sensitive teeth!. Have you taken her to a pediatric dentist yet. Sometimes their little teeth are so close to the gums it is tender when brushing. You might try letting her start with the toothpaste that changes colors and make it a fun, funny game. Let her put it on her teeth with her finger and rub it all around her teeth, then let her try to rub it off, when that doesn't come off be sure she has a very soft brush and tell her it is like a paint brush for her teeth. Ask her if she can get the paint off and mmake up a song to sing while she is doing it.
If that doesn't work, the dentist office is your next step. Sometimes strangers who are trained to teach them how to brush (ie., dental techs) can have amazing positive results. We may be mothers, but sometimes a professional can really help. We can check our childrens vision, yet we can't correct it. Good luck and have patience.

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K.T.

answers from Huntsville on

Don't give up, you are correct that you ARE going to brush her teeth. It does not hurt which you know. My son was adopted @ 4 yrs old and for about 4-6 months twice a day he was on the ground with me brushing until he figured out it was easier for him to do it.
I would think that at 17 months this is probably when she is trying to become independent and just plain doesn't want to do what you want!

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C.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi-
We went through the same thing when my son was about the same age. Nothing helped, so for us it just became a non-negotiable, if we had to hold him down to do it, then we did. Finally, he just got over it and realized that no matter what, we brush teeth. Now at 2 1/2 he does great. In my opinion, kids have to learn that some things are done no matter what. Having to be in your car seat, brushing teeth, etc. We give choices on other things! Hope that helps...

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T.S.

answers from Mobile on

My 5 yr old went through the same thing at some point...where we just had to hold him down to brush his teeth! I hated it but, like you, I wasn't about to let his teeth rot!! he got over it and began brushing them himself again and then letting us go over after. I always just told him "we can do this the easy way or the hard way". Finally he decided he liked the easy way better. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like to do and they have to understand that too. My three yr. old went through the same phase too, he just wasn't as resistant for as long as my 5 yr. old, who is very strong willed!! Hope this helps. Stay firm as this is important!! She will come around and figure out that it's much easier just to cooperate, because you aren't giving in on this one:)

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M.N.

answers from Alexandria on

I had this problem, and my solution had a few parts to it. First I let him hold a toothbrush. I used a toothpaste specially made for infants/toddlers. I think made by Oral B, and found it at Walmart, but it has been several years so I am unsure of the name. With that toothpaste came a finger cot with nubs on it. You use it and not a brush. I have also used the edge of a clean washcloth. I would definitely not continue to hold her arms down to do this. Sounds like that alone freaks her out, and she will be more likely than not become a difficult dental patient. They say you should start seeing a dentist at age 2. Maybe call your dentist and discuss it with him/her. Good luck with it, but as much as you want to start good dental practices early, it is not the end of the world(or her teeth) if you cannot brush all the time.

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E.H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I have a 2 1/2 year old boy. I don't know what I did to get him to enjoy it but now he LOVES brushing his teeth. I do remember trying everything to do it before. I eventually had to use the thing that goes on your finger for a while. I tried to make it fun by brushing his tongue while making funny noises. And even now, he loves that part! Now that he is willing to help, I either brush or let him brush. But I always say "Okay, Mommy's turn" or "Let me help please" and I will get my good scrub in! I even tried getting a cup with water so he could "spit" (more like drink the water and pretend). You just have to try different things. I know it is so hard and you want what's best- but she will, I'm sure, get better with it. Good luck!!!

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S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Don't push it & let her do it herself. She won't do as good as you would, but it will be better than nothing & better than fighter her. For our 2 yr old, we have 2 different tooth brushes on the counter. Instead of saying... do you want to brush your teeth, we ask which tooth brush he wants. Make it her think it's her decision. Sometimes he brushes longer and better than other times, sometimes he just sucks the toothpaste off the brush. He likes to show me his shiny teeth when he's done. Make it a habit. We do it after each meal and as part of his bedtime routine. He doesn't think twice about it. good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Lawton on

sit in the floor with the child laying between your legs, head towards you, arms under your legs. This does not hurt the child. You have to let them know who is boss and this MUST be done!

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T.S.

answers from Little Rock on

The big thing to know is that you do not want to fight with your child to do things. That will make them not want to do it. Tell her that it is time to brush her teeth. If she does not want to do it say fine it is still time for me to brush my teeth. Then proceed to do so. Have the brush where she can get it. Do not (of course) let her run with it. But tell her that it is time to brush and so she can have the brush. Let her brush your teeth (if you are brave) But the BIG thing is don't fight her. It is not that important for her to brush her teeth. Even the doctors will tell you that when you make something bad like holding them down then they don't and want do it. Just get her interest. My three kids that have teeth brush their own teeth. I do not help. None of their teeth have looked bad yet. In fact the dentist said that the kids teeth looked fine. Oh my daughter that is two now liked it best when I got her a Diago tooth brush you might try that.

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L.R.

answers from Little Rock on

We dealt with this with our three year old about the same time . . . dunno, but I think the more frustrated/mad I got the more upset she got. So I figured rather than make her claustrophobic/afraid of me/or just plain hate teeth brushing I would just wait a while until she was ready. So I would have her watch me brush my teeth in the morning and do other morning brooming and eventually she came around. Something else I tried which worked with her was to let her use the finger tooth brush while I brushed mine until she got old enough to decide that it wasn't painful or scary. You might even brush some of her dolls teeth during playtime when you pretend bath, changing their diapers . . . even if she doesn't get the complete concept of pretend play yet that doesn't mean she won't think it's funny when mommy is doing it and copy you and then decide that it looks fun for her. Good luck, maybe one of us will have a good idea. :)

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M.C.

answers from New Orleans on

I have had that very same experience. For me it was my daughter just showing her independence. Firt I prayed for wisdom and then I listened. Know your daughters personality and temperament. Both are unique to her. If she is like my daughter, the harder you push her to do something she may not like , the harder she will push back. Let it be her idea. Give her the facts and the guidelines and let her coninue from there. One other thing the toothpaste must taste good!!

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K.Q.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi.. I would call your dentist with this question.. I really don't believe that its imperative to brush teeth at that young of an age.. I would say 2 yrs old.. But I know your dentist could advise you the best!

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G.J.

answers from Texarkana on

Hi G. you might want to try the musicial tooth brushes they have for the little ones now days plus get some kid toothpaste that does not burn the mouth.

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M.T.

answers from Birmingham on

You are not alone. I have a 3 yr old turning 4 in October who still hates it. Although our dentist said it would be a challege for a while. What I have learned that will hep, is buy 2 of the exact same brushes, one for her to use, hold when she wants to hold it, pretend brush her baby dolls teeth and and encourage her to just suck on the bristles. Then when its time to try and brush, use the good brush and let her just put it in her mouth, leting her taste the toothpaste, play with it some and over time, it will happen. Its like potty training, love the idea at first but to much trouble. Its not easy. So don't give up!

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B.M.

answers from Little Rock on

G.,

I have never forced my 19 month old to brush his teeth. Ever. I asked my dentist for advice and his main piece was to just let him watch ME and show him there's nothing to fear. My son WANTS to brush his teeth ALL the time. We brush our teeth together. He stands on the toilet next to the sink and brushes his while i brush mine. I bought him one of the toddler electric toothbrushes also. It's a small head for his mouth and i felt like even if he wasn't doing the greatest job if it was in his mouth touching his teeth and the bristles were moving then his teeth are getting brushed. He would be in there all hours of the day if i'd let him. I don't know if it'll work for you, but children love to imitate what they see. So bring her in while you brush your teeth and maybe she'll relax and WANT to do what you're doing

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A.B.

answers from New Orleans on

I have a 22 month old and every morning we brush our teeth together. I give him his tooth brush and he tries to do the same thing I'm doing with my toothbrush. Before we finish I ask him to let mommy see if his teeth are clean. I tell him he missed one and I brush his teeth with no problem.
Try to let your daughter brush her own teeth at first and then tell her you need to see how good of a job she has done!
I hope this will help. Good luck!

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B.G.

answers from Little Rock on

My kids love brushing their teeth, but they haven't always. My daughter didn't like the brush because it just felt strange, I guess. We finally gave up on brushes until she was ready for it again. From about 20 months til she was 3yrs old, she just used a glove (the cheap winter ones from Wal-mart) with a dot of paste on it. She rubbed all her teeth with it just as she would with a brush. We always made sure we brushed our teeth with her so she saw us using the brushes. She eventually came around to using a brush again. Our dentist said her teeth were beautiful, too!

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A.K.

answers from Birmingham on

G.,

My baby is the same age, same situation. Come to think of it, she is the youngest of 5 and they all went through this phase.

They are smarter than we think. Think about it -- it is a weird sensation to have someone else messing around in your mouth. I find that singing a special song helps to tame unpleasantness. For diaper changes, I have a special song, and am FIRM (no rolling around) but with a smile.

Have you asked your pedodontist for an idea? I brush teddy bear's teeth first. Thomas the Tank Engine has been known to get his "teeth" brushed too.

I've been through this, but just let her suck on the toothbrush for a time until the baby fits ceased. It did end.

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J.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Keep on insisting. She is not scared after going thru this many times and surviving. She just hates being forced, but she will learn that life if full of doing things you don't want to do. Some kids learn that they can put up such big fuss so often, that the parents give up. Each time you have to force her you may keep saying, "This would so much nicer if you would help." Let her help hold the brush with your hand over hers as you instruct her how to do it herself. One day she will finally hear what you are saying.

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