Handedness and Using a Pencil

Updated on April 06, 2012
K.W. asks from Santa Monica, CA
13 answers

I'm seeking your expertise in determining handedness and motivating a reluctant writer.
My son will be 5 and starting kinder in the fall, and my concern at this point is that his fine motor skills are pretty terrible and he shows no interest in any paper and pencil type tasks- no coloring, drawing, dot-dots, writing, nothing. I can't get him to hold a pencil correctly nor can I even tell which hand is dominant to know which hand to instruct him with. I'd love for him to at least hold a pencil correctly and write his name without frustration before he starts school.
He usually picks up a pencil or crayon with his right, but I think this is because that's how his preschool teachers and I show him, but with all other tasks he's pretty ambidextrous. He loves reading, can attend to tasks, knows all his letters, builds Legos, can cut (both hands) and glue, etc, but anything involving a writing utensil frustrates him. Tips??

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Just a suggestion on how to build those small motor skills. I did this with my son who had similar "issues". Over the summer string beads, help you wrap small coins to take to the bank, any task that involves manipulating small items. This made a tremendous difference for us.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

There are a lot of fun fine motor skills you could do with your son.. He will think you are just playing with him.

At this point, let him use both hands if he is not showing a preference. Could be he is ambidextrous..

Playdo
Get one container and have him make as many small balls with the playdo,. They do not have to be perfect.. Show him how to make them with 2 fingers and also the palm of his hand.

Have him line them up in rows.. You decide.. rows of 5 or 10.. Once they are all made and in rows.. Have him punch the first row just using his thumb. The next row, just using his fore finger.. continue and then have him use his other hand,. each finger.

Another time, have him stack the small playdo balls in towers.. One on top of another.. Again.. after they are all stacked have him squish them with each digit.

Another time, cover your entire kitchen table with plain paper. I used to have odd pieces of old gift wrap that I would turn over so that the plain side was showing. Have him pick 1 color and draw a really long line. Remind him not to raise the color off of the paper. If he does lift it. Give him another color and see if he can make a longer line this time.

Then have him use a 3rd color and have him draw bid curving lines. they can cross over the other lines.

Get his hot wheels cars.. and have him "drive" one of the cars on the first line.. Have him only use his forefinger.

Then have him drive the second line, then the curvy line. These are now like streets for his cars. Have him practice with each of his fingers.. including his thumb.. on each hand.

Another time have him use a marker or colored pencils.

Scissors are great to have him practice making collages. Give him a list of things ro search for in old magazines..

A car, a flower, a person with a smile, a baby, a sad face..

Then give him a glue stick and have him glue them onto a box.

Get a hole puncher and make a picture on a piece of string paper. with the hole puncher.

Have him use a piece of yarn with one end tapes.. to look like a needle.. Let him pretend to sew..

Every chance you get, have him button up shirts and pants. The clean clothes from the laundry.. make it his job to button all buttons, snap all snaps.

Give him a box of the big paper clips and have him make a chain out of them.. Then sometimes, have him put together a chain of the small paper clips.

Give him some clothes pins and have him pick up different things, only using the clothes pins. Maybe have a race with you and dad and see who can pick up the largest item with the clothes pin.

Let him practice with Tongs from the kitchen.

Show him how to line up dominoes. Then show him how they all fall down in a pattern.

Stacking blocks..

Stacking marshmallows..
Stringing cereal like cheerios to make a necklace.

As you can see these are all things to help strengthen his hands, wrist, and fingers. He will just thin it is playing..

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

When we had daughter #3 in for a pre-school evaluation, they did an interesting test for "handedness" ... (I am left-handed, as is daughter #2...)

They lined up a series of blocks across the front of the child, going from left to right......

They then asked her to build a tower.

What they were looking for...... if she "crossed" the center line with either hand, that tended to show a preference for one hand or the other..... at her age, (around 3-4?) she used both hands for most tasks.... she would pick up the blocks on the left side with her left hand, and the blocks on the right side with her right hand.

As it was, she ended up being right-handed.

How does he try to hold a pencil? Does he hold it in a "palmar" type grip, where he is gripping it with his entire hand, or is he working on the "tripod" grip, where it is held (correctly) with the thumb and first 2-3 fingers? Try to encourage the tripod grip..... the suggestion about using the thicker crayons and pencils is a good one... markers are thick, too, and fun to use!

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions on working with fine motor skills over the summer.

I wonder if you could get an OT referral so they could work with him? They do a lot of fun "games" for things like this......

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

They will work on the writing/holding a pencil in Kindergarten so I wouldn't worry too much about it now and your son may start showing interest before Sept. However, my son was 4 when he started Kindergarten and he is ambidextrous so his problem was that he would change hands while he was writing and one hand was not dominant so his handwriting was a mess. For some reason the schools like the kids to be dominant in one hand. So between Kindergarten and First grade my son went to Occupational Therapy to work on his handwriting (you need a prescription from the Pediatrician). From what we can tell, my son is actually left hand dominant but in OT they worked on his right hand first (and gave him exercises to do at home to build fine motor skills). He wrote great with his right hand and he decided he didn't want to work on his left hand so we told him he had to write in school right handed but he could do whatever he wanted left handed. He bats lefty and righty, plays tennis lefty, throws with both hands...... So maybe OT is the way to go to help your son with his writing. Also I don't hold the pencil correctly either...it bothered my hand so I stopped holding a pencil correctly in 4th grade. Good luck. Hope this helps.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't rush him. My daughter will be 6 in June and she is in kindergarten. She had the same problem and I tried to in force her to do it m way. Then I spoke with teacher friend of mine and realized I was doing it all wrong. Every child has their own time table in doing things...as parents we can encourage them along the way but not rush them. For example, do this exercise with him for about 15 minutes a day. Get 2 bowls place it next to each other. Fill one with beads and the other empty. Have him pick up beads with a twizer and place it from one bowl to another. This will be good practice for him later when he starts writing in kinder. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am a week until I turn 30 (AAAHHHHHH) and I DO NOT hold my "pencil" "correctly." All of my teachers tried to get me to hold it differently (weird to me) until my 5th grade teacher let it be. I do not have issues with my penmanship in fact my writing is very artistic. (a friend once told me I did my own fonts) If he is not interested in using a pencil or pen for fine motor mask it with gross motor. Get him sidewalk chalk and let him draw until his heart is content. or get some dry erase markers and let him go at it on the mirror. Once he gets the "shapes" of the letters down he should have no problem putting it on paper although he might not be patient to do so. Boys do tend to not want to color, etc when they find out the other things they can do. They are a lot more active in that way, generally speaking.

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C.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

We had the same issue with our son. He's now doing great as a left-handed Kindergartener, and these "Y" shaped pencils called Penagain's got him excited about holding a pencil correctly:

http://www.amazon.com/TWIST-WRITE-PENAGAIN-CHILDRENS-PENC...

Several teachers have told us that the fine motor skills often develop later for boys, so don't get too worried. Try to find fun fine-motor things for him to do with his hands such as play with play dough in order to develop hand strength and coordination. He won't even know he's practicing.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I don't know what it is called, but there is a pencil which the child's pointer finger slides right into, then the thumb and middle finger go on the outside of the pencil. It is plastic and I think it might refill. I saw one used in a kindergarten class by a child who could not hold a pencil for anything. Her writing was ineligible. As soon as she started using it, you could see what letters she was writing. It was amazing. I would check with a "teacher's supply" store. They should be able to help you with things like this. I would also like to add that he is still very young and sometimes their fine motor skills are not as sharp as their large motor skills. He should develp right on time.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can try to find a OT specialist to do some training. They have some very fun and not boring exercises. Probably few sessions, he will greatly improve. I am not that worried about that if he can do all other stuff you mentioned at school. Just this particular part, it can be worked on without too stressful on both of you. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

If he can use scissors, I wouldn't be too worried about him holding a pencil. Have you taken him in for a check up? I remember the PED handing my daughter a pencil and asking her to trace a circle, then a square. It wasn't perfect at that age, but I think they were just looking for ability to do it or attempt to do it.

If only we could post pictures here. My daughter started kindergarten with horrible handwriting and is not near perfect. Her small letter a used to look like a capital Q. The dot on the i sat right on top of the base of the letter. The school allowed it and everyday they worked on tracing a new letter. 3/4's done with school and they are revisiting the proper way to writer their letters and are looking for their work to be completed as proper as possible.

Do you sit with him and color with the TV off? We often sit at the table and color and talk. We compliment each other's work as we go and ask each other to pass a specific color.

Does he have new coloring books tow work with? Are they age appropriate? If he is in to Sponge Bob, then get him a Sponge Bob book.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi KW, please, I agree, don't rush him. Let him enjoy being a kid while he can. He will be "forced" into doing things soon enough when he starts school. Let him experiment with both hands, with thick or thin writing sticks...let him explore!
Most kids use both hands for many tasks. He is still figuring it out, it's okay.

B.
Retired School Teacher
Family Success Coach

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

My son was this way in pre K (last year) but he is doing well in K. His handwriting is sloppy even compared to peers but he is getting all the content of the lessons in school. Sometimes small motor takes a while to develop in some kids (it took me a while as a kid too). This is what the K teacher said as well. Sure, try giving him activities to practice but don't make yourself or him crazy.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Buy a chalkboard or dry erase board. He should really be able to write his name by the time he enters kindergarten. He should also be able to recognize most of the letters of the alphabet and numbers 1-20. My son was the same way. He is left-handed. He has difficulty with handwriting and cutting. He is in kindergarten now. He has improved tremendously since the beginning of the school year. He is working with an occupational therapist and in his kindergarten they have what is called the "Hands" program. Where a parent volunteer comes in and helps with fine motor skills. I have found that my son has an easier time with the big pencils. You can find them in most stores. I think they are called beginner pencils. Also, he should be using a gripper. The claw gripper is what the school requires them to use. You can find them on amazon along with the pencils. Also try the bigger crayons too. Good Luck! Next year will be a big growing year for him!

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