Has Anyone Had a Doula?

Updated on March 10, 2009
M.S. asks from Trenton, NJ
18 answers

Just wondering about your experience if you've had a doula with you during labor/delivery. My husband and I are going to be working with a student doula. This is my 2nd pregnancy - I had a csection with my first and am desparately trying to have VBAC this time as long as there is no medical need for a csection. I'm very excited to have someone with knowledge of breathing and relaxation techniques with us - because, we've faced reality and know that when it comes down to it, we research so many other things in our lives, but this very important event - birth of your child - you kind of just think you're going to know what to do, but guess what? You don't automatically. I'm just wondering if anyone as any experiences to share with their use of a doula. Thanks.

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K.C.

answers from Syracuse on

I have a great friend in Dallas that is a doula! Her website is www.righthanddoula.com. She has a link of references and some things that might be helpful! Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

I loved having a doula. But I think it was just as nice for my husband. She tended to all my needs while my husband got to relax and didn't have to jump at every little thing I needed. Instead we enjoyed the birth together while she took care of me. It was also great during the pushing, my husband was on one side and she was on the other holding me up while I pushed. It only took me 45 minutes to push out my daughter. I couldn't imagine delivering without a doula. Congratulations and best wishes on your second child.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!! I had an amazing doula for the birth of my son, who just turned 3, and will be using her again for my daughter who is due in June!! I would never give birth again without one and recommend having one to anyone having a baby, especially with natural(no drugs) childbirth! She just knew exactly what to say and do and was basically the only one who was by my side, until the pushing stage! She is the one who helped me progress at home so fast(i was 9 cm when i arrived at the Birthplace)! And my husband was so supportive and appreciative that i had someone to get me through such a hard part of the labor, and then once the pushing started, he never left my side!!(nor did she!) I don't know where you live, but she is out of Monroe, CT. Let me know if you want more info!! Good luck!!

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C.M.

answers from New York on

I had a doula as well for the birth of my daughter. I ended up getting drugs after many hours, but the doula was wonderful in getting me through the beginning. My husband was a little clueless, especially since we only took a 2 hour class at the hospital. The doula also helped with the initial breastfeeding at the hospital, and came by our home once after the birth to check and see if everything was going okay. I'd recommend a doula to anyone.

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C.T.

answers from New York on

M.-

I am SOOOO happy for you. Both for the pregnancy and for the choice of getting a Doula. I would so recommend a doula to everyone and I plan on using the same doula for my second birth. I am currently 12 weeks along.

A little background: My husband is an ER nurse. I am an engineer. He fully and completely trusts the medical world. I, on the other hand, am skeptical of things that can not be "scientifically" backed up, especially those with things with numbers/statistics! We used the Bradlet Method and a doula as a compromise to my desire to have a home birth. He was scared by the potential compications. I was scared about not being in control and feeling more like an object than a participant in the process. I was also scared hubby would not leave his nursing hat at the door and that I might end up on the defensive - alone.

We birthed at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood NJ. Our doula was supplied through their Hospital doula program. We recieved a few comments that she would be in conflict but we never felt that way and she advocated for me constantly. It was great that she had the doctor's trust already and that she knew where supplies were. I ended up needing an ice bucket of water to cool me down between contractions and she went and got all those supplies for my husband. She was also able to encourage and support him as he supported me. She was also able to quickly calm me down when I threw-up (something I was completely unprepared for) and also provided suggestions for coping with the labor pains when I was told I could not push. (My darling daughter slipped backward in the canal when the doctor had me move from my hands and knees - my preferred labor position - to my back.) Once DD was born, she stayed with me and helped me to get her to latch/nuzzle the breast as soon as possible. She was a quiet, gentle, re-inforcing presence that never overshadowed my husband or the moment. I loved HER!!

I can't wait for round two! She made me feel empowered and strong like I've never felt before and I never (except when I got sick) felt out of control of scared.

~C.

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K.W.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Yes I had a doula for the delivery of my 2nd daughter. Both daughters were delivered naturally - no meds. But only my second was I able to use a doula and it was the best thing ever! It was such a difference, for me and for my husband - he didn't have to worry about a thing. For me the massages, baths and other relaxing techniques was great. I would highly recommend it if you are going to go natural. My friend had one and had an epidural and she said she felt it was a complete waste of the doula's time.
Best of luck to you!

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E.S.

answers from New York on

M.,

I had a labor support doula, and although I had virtually no labor (I birthed, start to finish, in about an hour!), I found her support before, during and after the birth to be wonderful!! If you email me privately, I would be happy to share her name and contact info with you.

E.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

If you haven't taken a good childbirth class, do it! A doula is an amazing tool, and she will compliment a Bradley Method or Hypnobirthing class so well!

I didn't have a doula with my first, and ended up with a c-section too. I was worried that my husband would feel misplaced by another care-giver. Now I know better. A great doula works with both of you to give you the birth experience you want!

Good luck with your VBAC. I'm going for the same next time!

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice already. I will add that my husband was thrilled to have a doula--contrary to what some may think, he was not "upstaged" by her at all, or pushed out of the picture. Just the opposite--she supported both of us. I didn't use drugs, but ended up with forceps and an episiotomy. One thing about my doula that you may want to check on--she makes it clear from the beginning that she will NOT speak to the medical staff on your behalf--YOU have to be the one to communicate your wishes. I think she does this for legal reasons, and I'm not sure how other doulas do it. I think some may advocate more than others. This is a BIG deal, in my opinion. (Although I will say, in her defense, I was giving birth in a NJ hospital, and they don't tend to be too supportive of natural birth, so she didn't have a whole lot of freedom or authority to help me in that situation anyway). So when you're looking for a doula, that might be another thing to consider asking about. Good luck.

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

Research shows that having a doula greatly increases your chances of having a normal vaginal birth. I am a doula and I also had a doula at my midwife attended birth and she was a great help to me and my husband. However, having a VBAC has become more difficult recently because of ACOG changes their recommendations for VBACs, not based on science or medicine (though there is a slight increase of risk for VBAC, it's true) but because of political and malpractice insurance issues. The most important thing you can do to insure having a successful VBAC is to be with a care provider who has a high success rate of VBACs (midwives are usually the best) and to be in a hospital with a high success rate of VBACS. Avoid interventions like induction and epidural, which increase risk of uterine rupture and the need for C-section. The other thing, if you and your CP feel comfortable with it and there is no medical reason to go earlier, is to get to the hospital as late as possible, definitely in active labor.
I have to tell you that as a doula, the only successful VBACS I attended were when moms got to the hospital almost pushing. I wish you the best of luck and a safe and satisfying birth experience. One more thing, if your CP wants to induce, do not, do not, DO NOT allow them to give you a drug called CYTOTEC. It is a drug commonly used for induction even though it is unapproved by the FDA for use on pregnant women. It greatly increases the chance of uterine rupture.

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E.E.

answers from New York on

M.,
I would love to do the same thing you are doing whenever we have our second. I too had a c-section and looking back, if I had the choice, I would definitely have used a doula. I think things would have been different. I have a girlfriend who used one for her first child- she went all natural and had a really nice birth compared to other moms I know and she was able to breastfeed right away without any problems. I say go for it. I hope you have the birth you want!

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L.C.

answers from Syracuse on

Yes I had a doula! And can not say enough praise for what they do! I had a doula with both my kids (they are now 3&1)
She was the calm in the storm! A doula is once of your few advocates who tries every way to make sure what YOU want for your birthing experience to be done as closely as possible. She helps with positions and message... they have so much knowledge about how to make things go faster and more comfortably.(well as comfortable as labor can be) At first I was apprehensive about sharing such a private and intimate moment with someone I barely knew but I think she only enhanced it. She will forever be a part of my family. I got to know her over my pregnancy we met on a regular basis from about 4 months on; I was 12 day over due with my first 8 days with my second and she helped keep my sanity when the days just kept drowning on. I highly recommend meeting with your doula as much as possible before labor so she can get to know the type of person you are... and just go over every concern. My sister also had a doula and she only met her once before the birth and felt indifferent about her being there. She felt she helped but it was not as comforting.
I don't know where you live but in my area I found my doula through CNY doulas (Central NY) Her name was Heather Haywood she was awesome!

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R.H.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I am glad to hear you are going to try vbac. I had a doula for my childbirth instructor. She was wonderful. As our instructor, she did have to educate us on all birthing techniques, incluiding c-sec. She was always uplifting and always supported the most natural ways for childbirth, avoiding the use of drugs. I wanted her as my coach, but my husband didn't want her to steal his spot. The thing I remembered the most is that you do not have to stay in bed going through labor, if there is no medical need for it. I was induced and used a birthing ball to help me get fully dilated, something I learned from her. It was the easiest labor and delivery I ever knew or heard of and I was glad to go through it without drugs or ending up having a c-section. I would definitely recommend one and childbirth classes, if you haven't gone with your first one.

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S.H.

answers from Albany on

I wish I would have known about the option to have a doula. I had a terrible birth in the hospital. Best birthing hospital in the city too. I'm sure I would have wound up with a C-section anywhere else but it was a very busy night with many deciding to have babies on the 28th of Feb on a leap year!

Since then, I've met a lot of doulas on other Mom's groups and it sounds fantastic! I'm happy for you. Many people in your position have been successful.

Wishing you the best and let us know your experience when you've given birth!

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L.R.

answers from New York on

I used a midwife for the birth of my now 8 month old. It was a positive experience as the ob group was pushing me to get test and she offered them as my choice and I loved the sole attention. I had to have a c-section even though I wanted a homebirth because he was breeched and descending down my pelvis when we went to a doctor and his hospital who felt comfortable doing a late term aversion. He was in position for while but he turned the other way the last week. I hate that I had to have a c-section but it was the only way to deliver him and I am grateful everyday for his life. I am writing to you because I do know of a doula she teaches my mommy and me yoga class she is affiliated with Valley Hospital. Also, my hubby and I want to try for another baby and my ob the doctor who delivered my baby doublestitched me to have a vback but I want to know of other obs or doulas who feel comfortable because he is located in Ct. and I live in North Jersey in Passaic County close to Bergen and my aunt-in-law who live in VA says unfortunately in the DC area there is only one ob who feels comfortable doing a VBAC and I desperately want to do that next time around. Please let me know.

Good Luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Yes, get a doula if you can. I had one with each of my childrens' births. But do take time to make sure it is a good match for you. My first doula was helpful but exactly on the same wavelegnth as my husband. I had bad luck with the births--I had a midwife and a doula and tried for natural childbirth twice. I ended up with 2 c-sections. One was for failure to progress after 18 hours--just as well, I was sick with a cold and exhausted by then. I tried for a VBAC and had a great doula and we got all the way to the point I was starting to push and the heart rate was erratic. We did an emergency c-section and she was wrapped in the cord (had nothing to do with it being a VBAC). Both kids spent time in the NICU but are doing well now. The other two things that helped me were processing the first c-section by talking about it and reading Birthing from Within (lots of art and journaling exercises) and using the TENS unit for pain relief (it is a kind of electric stimulation used in physical therapy).

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T.M.

answers from New York on

M.-
I think you'll really enjoy having a doula. I had one with my son who is three months old. We decided to get a doula because I really wanted to have a natural birth with no pain medications and limited medical intervention. There is no way I would have been able to achieve that without my doula. A good doula can really help you get through your contractions.
As far as achieving a VBAC, I think the most important thing is the midwife/doctor who delivers you and the hospital you deliver in. One hospital near me has a 50% c-section rate while another hospital's rate is 20%. That's a huge difference. Also, your medical professional needs to know about your desire for a VBAC and feel confident in his/her ability to help you achieve it. A birth plan could be a really big help. My doctor wasn't on call the day I delivered, so the midwife for his practice delivered me even though I had met her once for about three minutes max. She was fantastic though, and totally stuck to my birth plan.
Good luck!
-T.

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I had a doula and found her to be invaluable and would never birth without one again. I was so inspired I have decided to begin training to become one myself. I have attended 2 births so far and have 2 more I am attending in the fall.

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