Have to Give Our Dog Away

Updated on August 27, 2012
S.C. asks from Franklin, TN
10 answers

We rescued a 3 yr. old Yorkie Poo as a gift for my 4 year old daughter. We have had her for over a month and during that time she has bitten both my daughter and my husband. She has "man issues" and absolutely hates my husband. Growl and barks at him continuously and is very scitish and nervous all the time. He cannot even enter a room without her freaking out. And she doesn't want him near our daughter. She barks and growls if he walks in her room. We have tried calming pills, hand fed treats and one on one time with them but it's getting worse. I'm a complete wreck because I have to run interference between all of them and try to keep the peace. I realize that unfortunately the dog has not worked out and I am in the process of returning it to its foster mom this week - we are trying to work out a place to meet. Luckily she has agreed to take her back and find her another home. I have explained to my daughter that we cannot keep the dog - that we need a dog that likes EVERYONE in the family and does not bite ANYONE. But she doesn't want to give the dog up. She says she loves her. My heart is just broken because what I wanted to be such a positive thing has turn out just the opposite. And now I have to break my daughter's heart and give her dog back.
How do I help her understand? Should she be with me when I go meet the foster mom and return the dog?

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

You DON'T have to give the dog back. Unless you've spent 6 months to a year at dog training classes with the dog, and THAT failed. Until then you haven't even TRIED to make it work. Please don't get ANY dog until you are really ready to commit.

:(

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have had two dogs that we rescued that had hate-men problems. I solved the problem by being the only one to feed or water the dog.

I had a traveling job. I would leave Monday morning and return Friday evening. I'd call my wife Thursday evening to remind her not to feed our dog until I got home. When I got home Friday, I'd take a package of hot dogs, slice then in small circles and fry them in a skillet. The dog was hungry and thirsty. The smell of frying hot dogs would go throughout the home. That would bring the dog to the kitchen. I would let the sliced hot dog cool. Then I would kneel down on the floor and toss hot dog slices to him.

At first, he wouldn't come any closer than 15 feet. In six weeks he was eating out of my hand. It took another week or two before he would let me pet him and scratch around his collar. In 6 months he was "dad's dog". It takes time and effort to save a dog. It takes time and effort to save a child. Both require time and thoughtful energy. And sometimes you have to make them do things they don't want to do and motivate them in ways they don't like. Afterwards, you just have to show them a lot of love.

I would not take your daughter with you when you take back the dog.

With all the above being said, I did have a dog that I really liked that I gave to a family with older kids. It was a cocker spaniel and a beautiful. He nipped my child around the eye. I gave the dog the benefit of the doubt the first time. When It happened a second time, I put the dog on a chain in the back yard and put an ad in the paper. Why, because no dog is worth an eye. She ended up with a family of teenagers and did fine.

Good luck to you and yours.

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S.Y.

answers from Tampa on

Do not feel bad about this OR let people make you feel bad. The foster family is taking her back so that is a good thing. As for your daughter she will be sad for a bit but her safety and your sanity comes first. Find a dog that best fits your family, and you can feel safe with it around your daughter that is WAY more importent then trying to fix a dog. I wouldn't take her with you just have her say good bye at home. She will cry but I'll bet she will be over it by the time you get home. Good luck!!! :)

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

My heart just aches when I think about what a yorkie-poo must have gone through to turn out this way. :(

I can't have a biting dog around my child or my husband. It won't work, especially with a small child.

I'm so, so sorry for all of you.

To answer the question, I would not take her with me.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would not take the child with me. I would let her say good bye at home. While your DD may truly miss her, it sounds like the dog would do better in a family without a child - maybe an older, single woman. It sounds like a poor placement in the first place, and hopefully they will take this information and find a better placement for the dog and/or work on retraining her out of some of these behaviors. It sounds like her past has left the poor thing incredibly insecure.

At this point, I would not give up on the idea, but I would not get a new dog anytime soon. I would wait until the child is old enough to participate in the training process and then take any dog you get to obedience training as a family. Whenever we adopt a new pet, we discuss all concerns, our household, and the specific behaviors we are looking for/not looking for. We do not always end up with the specific animal we had in mind, but I would rather the foster mom say, "Actually, Fluffy isn't a good fit for your home, but you should check out Rover" than make everyone, including the pet, miserable.

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M..

answers from Youngstown on

Hey, you do what you have to do, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Your daughter and husband are more important than a dog. Your daughter will be sad for awhile, but kids get over this kind of thing pretty quickly. Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Don't take your daughter with you.

Do not get another dog.

You've only had this dog a month.. wait until your daughter is older and understands the committment and responsibility that goes with pet ownership.

I realize... you have have a dog with some issues and it takes a lot of work and training to get through it. We have 3 dogs now and training is hard work. It takes the entire family to contribute and make it work.

Also, biting is a HUGE issue and not something to be taken lightly. You don't know what is causing this dog to act out and bite. He could have been abused.

You said Yorkie-poo. One of our dogs is a toy poodle and he is NOT good around children. If children EVER come to my house, he is in another room. He has never bitten anyone BUT, when we got him daughter was 11 so our dog has never been around anyone younger than 11 and he is scared of the little children.

Good luck.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would have her say goodbye at home. And I would disregard anyone who thinks you didn't try hard enough. Some dogs bite and no matter how much time and training you invest, you will never be able to assume this dog won't bite your daughter's face or hand.

I assume you have told the foster family that the dog bites. I am very surprised that whatever organization they work with would be willing to adopt the dog out again. Little dogs are often responsible for facial dog bites (people pick them up, let them on the couch, etc) and even a small dog can destroy an eye.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Truthfully, you haven't had this dog very long. If you're going to have to give up on her, now is the time to do it, before she bonds with the family. Yes, it's true that you haven't given this dog long at all to adjust to life in your home (and calming pills really shouldn't even be in the picture yet), but it also doesn't sound like you are equipped to address this dog's issues. Someone else will be, and she will find a wonderful home.

I have worked in animal rescue for years, and while we always try to work with our adopters, sometimes the animal just isn't compatible with the family. It happens. You don't keep an adult dog in your family that is biting your children unless you have enough experience in dog training to know how to address it, and even then it's risky.

There are a tons of rescue dogs out there that will fit your needs, especially if you aren't limited by size or breed but are open instead to the personality of the dog regardless of breed. Speak to the foster mom of your Yorkie to see if this particular rescue can help you, but if not, check out petfinder.com. Apply to lots of rescues with specifics about what you need in a personality of a dog instead of applying for specific dogs. This is always how I approach adoption, and although I've actually never gotten the breed I specifically wanted, I've always found the perfect dog. If you apply for a personality instead of a specific dog, the rescue can work with you to find the dog that will fit with your family, instead of trying to see whether your family fits with a specific dog.

If you do get another dog, whether a rescue or a purchase, your first stop needs to be at a professional trainer's, so that you can uncover any potential issues and recognize how to address them.

Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i gave back a puppy after it biit my daughters lip and face at 3 years old and she had to get several stitches. we had to quarantine it for 2 weeks before taking it back and my daughter still wanted it. i explained it needed a family without little kids and we needed to wait until she was bigger to get a puppy.

Honestly I'd agree with Theresa if you didnt have little kids. i'm surpised the rescue place let you get her with a little kid. most ones I know require kids over 6...which is the year i promised my daughter we'd get a puppy. which happens to be in a week=) i wouldnt trust a skidsh dog around a 4 year old. kids that age want to hug the dog and wrestle which leads to unsafe sittuations.

i hoewever wouldnt get a new dog any time soon if i were you. i';d wait until she was older and there was time between this dog and a new one

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