Over the past couple of years I've had contact with an old high school friend on and off. We've tried to rebuild a friendship multiple times over the years. But it's just never been the same. Last year I finally gave up and stopped talking to her. She refuses to leave me alone! I've had to block her on facebook. Plus I'm putting her emails in my spam folder. But it's like she keeps making new accounts. So here it is a good 6 months or so later and she still contacts me. She has belittled me, called me names, and outright said she doesn't like me. Fair enough. Except that she then changes her mind and runs to me for something. A couple of months ago it was depression and how sad and lonely she was. Last night it was a question she surely could have Googled. If I ignore her the messages just keep coming. And if I respond it's always some crazy argument. Ya know I could understand reaching out to an old friend. I'm sure we've all done that before. But this lady just has no boundaries.
What would you all do?
ETA: I honestly feel like she's trying to force me to be her friend.
Thanks ladies! :)
She sounds like a clinging vine nut case.
Block her everywhere she attempts to contact you.
Save the messages and if she starts to make threats of violence then is the time to take it to the police/lawyer and see about getting a no contact restraining order against her.
Fortunately, I've not had this problem.
There are negative people everywhere. You see it here often enough. The people seeking attention by attempting to degrade another, then claiming they are the victim. They need meds.
You need to keep all the messages, like Leigh and others have said. Keep them, you might need them as proof.
As rough as it sounds, you need to change your number. You might consider changing your e-mail address as well.
If you live in close proximity to her? If it is that bad? Consider moving.
Like Wild Woman said, if you change your number, do not give it to anyone who has contact with her. As we saw the other day on here, people can pick up others phones and do things when they have walked away. If she's that desperate, she might find a reason to use another person's phone to get your contact information.
I'd block her and not respond. Every single account she opens.
She'll get tired of it eventually and find someone else.
The exception is if she knows where you live. If she has any way of contacting you in real life (phone, coming by), or if there is any sort of threat involved (hurting you or hurting herself), I'd contact the police. They probably have a cyber division or officer who can give you some good and practical advice.
oh geez, yeah, and from an MP reg! there's not much you can do with crazy but keep ignoring it. any slight hint of engagement just fires 'em up. if you give in you start the entire cycle over again. the only thing you can do is shut it down entirely and let her move onto the next obsession.
khairete
S.
Keep on holding onto all her e-mails etc. You may need them someday (let's hope not!) as evidence if she continues or if she really begins harassing you in other ways too. Just keep filing them and don't delete. Of course you know already to increase all your security settings, etc. I hate to say it but if this is really excessive, for instance if she starts e-mailing you multiple times daily on your e-mail, you may need to change your e-mail address. When she sees them bouncing back to her as a non-working address that may stop her.
Are you responding to her, ever? It seems you are: You say that "If I ignore her the messages just keep coming" but any replies to her at all only encourage her. She probably ramps up the e-mails when you don't reply but don't reply. Again, I'd really consider changing my address. I hate to have to suggest that, as it makes it seem like she "wins" since you would have to change an address you might have given many other people, but it may be the most effective way to cut her off entirely.
One other thing, though: Consider that she might be mentally ill. The pattern of friendliness, clinginess (I need your help, I'm sad) and attack sounds like it could be depression or even bipolar swings where everything is intensely good or intensely bad. If she's ill, she can't fully help what she's doing, and I wonder if she is so lacking friends and resources where she is that she has turned your e-mail communications into her main outlet. This doesn't make her communications welcome, I know, but it may be cause for a little compassion. You could send her one last e-mail asking her to get some professional help since she says she's depressed; maybe even send her a list of mental health care resources in her area; but make it your last message before you change your address or block her from your e-mail.
I had to block a high school friend who wanted to friend me on Facebook and when I didn't accept it in the first 24 hours, he started sending me emails. I didn't like that he was nagging me to accept his friendship (we were never close and I was new to Facebook) and so I decided I wasn't going to accept. He started sending me nasty emails to push me to accept. I blocked him and he emailed others to contact me for him. It died down after I told them the situation and they stopped doing his bidding. It was a pain.
Do EVERYTHING Savannah suggested! And for goodness sake, stop emailing her back!! IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE! Eventually, she will leave you alone and move onto someone else.
I don't think this is personal. I think she's doing this because she actually has underlying psychological issues. If she wasn't doing this to you, she would be doing it to someone else. Tell her to seek help then ignore her after that.
I believe you just need to ignore her and after a while she will move on.
I'm also surprised to hear that there are people on this site who believe there are numerous people on this site with multiple accounts who have nothing better to do all day than sit around and play MMP. That is silly and a waste of time in mu opinion and I don't know of any mom who has that kind of time on her hands. Now, I could see some teens doing it for fun over the summer.
Now, I do believe Dandylion is someone on the site trying to stir things up once in a while.
In any case, if you are not living close to this person and she is not threatening you... just ignore and she'll eventually give up.
My hunch is that you stayed engaged way longer than you should have. You probably had a gut feeling to not rekindle the relationship? Or not let it go too far...but ..you felt sorry, or something.
Just continue to block. for longer than 3-4 months....how about for years.
Anyone that unstable to literally tell you to your face that she doesn't like you, if we are to believe you at face value, then attempt to reconnect without attempting to resolve the past differences, sounds like a very unsafe and unhealthy person to be involved with. Move on.
Stop responding. So, what if she keeps e-mailing you. Why do you feel obligated to respond anyway? You should ignore her and hopefully, she will get the message and move on to someone else.
She is a bit of a nut case and she likely doesn't have any friends; and I'm sure you can guess why? She sounds mentally and emotionally unstable. Keep her trail of e-mails in case you need them and change your number if necessary.
