Help-21 Month Old Not Ready to Potty Train

Updated on August 22, 2010
L.C. asks from Normal, IL
14 answers

I have a 21 month old daughter who has recently gotten into taking off her diapers at night and during naps. It is bothering me because her room smells like pee constantly and I have to wash her sheets on a daily basis. She is not ready to be potty trained yet. We have tried and she throws a fit. So I am holding off. Also she throws these fits where she will throw herself on the floor or bang her head against a wall. Any advice on how to get her to stop with the fits and stop with the diaper thing? Or any advice on how to possibly get her ready for potty training a little faster?

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So What Happened?

Friday the 13th. A day that many dread. Well it was a great day for me. Hayleigh went pee in her potty!!! Thank you for all the great advice. I think we may be finally figuring this thing out!

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H.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My 22 month old daughter does a similar thing. To keep the diaper on (she hasn't shown an interest in the potty yet), I've been forced to put her back into onesies or anything that snaps on the bottom. She has been able to get the diaper off yet :)

Good luck!

H.

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R.K.

answers from Rockford on

Hi there. Well, My second son did that too...didn't like being wet or poopy so just flung his diapers off at night. All I can say is that he finally hit a point in time where he just stopped doing it. I just kept telling him every morning he would do it to let me know if he needs a new diaper and I think eventually he caught on. It did take some time though. Hope that helps a little bit.

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

My son who is now 2 years old does both of the things u described. Does your daughter know how to take off pants or shorts yet? If not try to put a pair of pants or shorts on her when u put her down for a nap. As for the head banging thing I just try to explain to him that's not a good way to express his anger or frustration.

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C.C.

answers from Springfield on

Put diaper on backwards as well as onesie. Also, she is not too young to start pottytraining. Be firm in that the diaper must stay on if she is not going to use the potty. There are several great potty training resources out there, check a few out of the library to help get you motivated. As for the temper tantrums, the key is no reaction from you and she will move on to something that DOES get a reaction. This is why they call them terrible twos. Three's are worse, so hang in there. Good luck.

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A.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi L.!

I have 3 boys ages 8, 5, and 20 months. My youngest has also started to take his diaper off. I don't think he is ready to be potty trained either-I think it is just the fact that he CAN take it off! We've had some big messes! I stopped this by always having something on over the diaper-onesie, shorts, pajama pants etc. I do let him run around in just a diaper occasionally, but I know he will end up naked, but I just figured he's getting a little air to it every now and then. He also throws fits and bangs his head. We just tell him no-no when he butts his head on something, and he usually stops. If he is throwing a fit, I will just ignore him and he will stop. All three of my boys did this and I promise it is just a phase. Hope this helps! A. L.

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E.R.

answers from St. Louis on

For the headbanging:
My daughter did the same thing (still does sometimes when she is really mad) and the doc told us not to worry. This is a way for her to release frustration, and she wouldn't hit it hard enough to hurt herself....a bruise at most. She turned 2 in july, and these episoides have subsided a lot. Also when she did it we ignored her...let her do it until she stoped and then when she was calmer, we would try and talk to her. That has helped also....when there is no reaction, they are less likely to do it. I also didn't coddle her when she did it...I would say...Yep that hurt, maybe you shouldn't do that anymore?

For potty training: We are working on that as well. I really liked a book called "Diaper Free Before 3". She is not completely potty trained, but the book help us work through issues of her not wanting to sit on the potty. She now wears training pants most of the day, will stay dry in her diaper for her nap, not throw a fit (most of the time) for sitting on the potty...and will usually only have about 1 accident a day. Also, I found for my girl, that she didn't like the little potty seats...she would throw a huge fit about sitting on them, but she lits to sit on the big toliet....especially after we let her pick out her own Dora toliet seat.
Hope these tips help!
E.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

You might have heard this before but I thought I would send it to you just incase you havent.:) Maybe you could try putting her diapers on backwords for naps and bedtime. It would be a little harder for her to get off and since she is sleepy she might just give up. Hope it helps, I know kids are smart though so she might just figure it out.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

When my daughter turned 2 she started taking off her diaper during naps. We started having special naptime outfits: a onesie with tights or pants on over it to make the snaps less accessible. At the time, a friend of mine also suggested cutting out the feet of a few sleepers and putting them on backwards (so she couldn't unzip them). Luckily, the phase passed after a few months. Hope this helps!

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L.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried putting her in pj pants for sleeping? That way she would have to be able to take off the pants before she could remove har diaper. Hope this helps.
-L.

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N.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter did the same thing with her diapers. We tried a variety of things with her clothing but she was able to get out of everything. We eventually used duct tape to keep her diapers on and it worked very well. We called it her "belt". Just be careful not to let it touch her skin.

As far as the tantrums, we took a class on Conscious Discipline and learned so much about this subject. The book I would reccommend is, "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline".
Good Luck

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S.T.

answers from Youngstown on

My 21 month old daughter is not ready to potty train either and she always takes her diaper off (she seems to go everywhere but the potty lol) but I went online and got her LKS (little keeper sleepers) they zip up the back so she can't get out of them it has worked wonders, hope this helps!

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Both of my girls have done the taking the diaper off thing! It's so frustrating. We learned to put on the footed PJ's and they can't get the diaper off. It works until they figure out how to unzip the zipper! :) So then you could find some draw string pants to sleep in? As for the potty training - I think you are right to hold off. we never pushed it with our older one and it was very peaceful! She just did it when she was ready - which was about 2 1/2. When I could tell she was ready and she had interest in it, we did a couple of things: 1.) we made a sticker chart and 2.) we let her run around completely naked for a day or two, set a timer for every 15 minutes and would make her try to go, and this helped her realize when she needed to go. It made for a couple of clean ups, but it was well worth it to get it done in a short time! We're getting ready to hit that stage with our youngest soon. Good Luck!

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

My daughter is 26 months old. She still will pull diapers off sometimes. She doesn't like the feeling of being wet, so she takes them off. It is a step that a lot of kids I know take while potty training. I have yet to figure out a foolproof way to prevent her from taking them off when she first wakes up in the mornings (though she doesn't do it every morning), but you have been given some good suggestions thus far that I will try myself! As far as making potty training easier, I bought a package of pull-ups with the Disney princesses on them. Every morning I put her in one and she is allowed to wear it until she has an accident. Then she has to put a diaper back on. It worked really well with my oldest daughter, because she liked the pretty "underwear" better. When she got to be better at using the potty, I bought her some pretty "big girl" underwear, and if she had an accident then, she would have to wear a pull-up. Make sure that your daughter realizes that she advances from one stage to the next if you go that route, and that it isn't a punishment, but when she gets pretty new things, it's not good to make them dirty. With regular panties, it is more uncomfortable when they get wet because they don't absorb anything. My daughter learned fast that it was easier to use the toilet then have to feel the discomfort of having an accident. I hope that it works as well with my youngest, because it made it so much less stressful for both of us. Just remember that you can't push her, or she could become resistant to using the potty. Also, you may want to simply buy a seat to go over your toilet before you try a potty chair. I have read someone else saying that their child didn't like the potty chair. My daughter also dislikes it for its intended use. She has never once used it to go potty, but she loves to run around the house holding it over her head!

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A.W.

answers from Tulsa on

Hello. She sounds like my son when he was just getting ready to potty train. Let me tell ya potty training can be really easy or extremely hard depending on the child. She takes the diaper off because she isn't comfortable in it. Shes growing up. This worked for my son, but I dunno if it will work in all cases. I bought him underwear that were just like his dads. I told him if he wants to wear them he can not potty in them. He must let an adult know that he needs to use the potty. It worked from that day foward he was potty trained. But it seemed all to easy with him so I dunno how itll work 4 u. He was 22 months old.

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