Help Explaining Puberty to Daughter Diagnosed as Mildly Mentally Impaired

Updated on August 05, 2008
R.J. asks from Taylor, MI
17 answers

I need some guidance on how to explain the changes that are going to be happening to my daughter(periods, breast develpment, boys....YIKES). She is ten and I know I need to start helping her prepare for these things but I'm not sure she will understand very well so I don't know how much to tell her. She is less mature mentally than a normal child her age, however her body is developing normally. Has anyone come across any good books on the subject that you think were geared towards younger children. I know there may be limited advice on this subject but anything you think may be helpful would be appreciated. She has an eight year old sister. I was thinking of explaining things to the both of them because my little one understands her sisters disabilities and I think she could help reexplain some basic info to her as we go along. Thank You so much. I am looking for advice from others with knowledge of children like my daughter but ANY input would be welcome. Thank You so much.

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

American Girl has a book out that explains all the basic stuff from shaving to periods. I found it very helpful as we are going down that road with my early to develope 8 year old. The book can be found all over the place, I have seen it at Meijer, Target, and Walmart. Good Luck, M.

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A.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hi R.,
American Girl makes a book I used with my daughter who is 13. I think it is called All About You, or something like that. (I'll see if I can find it and get the name for you.) It is good, simple, nice pictures. Also has chapters on skin care and other teenage issues. We bought it when my daughter was maybe 9 or so. She wanted to skip the chapter she didn't yet feel comfortable with. We got back to it a few years later. Having your daughters together sounds like a good idea. You could see what the chapter is and see what they want to know about it. Borders book store used to carry the book. Good luck and enjoy this special time with your daughters!

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S.J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi R.,

My daughter is nine and we have been reading The Care and Keeping of You by American Girl. She loves this book. It opens up diaglogue about how she is feeling about some of the changes occuring to date. She even reads this alone, and will come to me with questions. I love it. Very age appropriate for both of your girls. Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Detroit on

There is a book by American Girl. It is so well written for younger girls. Mine was 9 when I gave it to her. Different chapters with pictures.
Good luck

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

I am not sure of the exact name of the book but it is through the american girls/dolls company I think it is something like you and your changing body--barnes and nobles had it..it was just suggested to me for my 9 year old daughter who is also a little on the inmature side.

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D.D.

answers from Detroit on

great book called The Care and Keeping of You by American girl. not sure if anyone has mentions this one yet -its really a good book.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

R.,
I'm 54 and back in the 60's all we had to go on were the little booklets that Kotex handed out when there was a special presentation>>>wink, wink<<<<in school just for girls. The movie covered the basics, and we all got a pamphlet style booklet. That was it.

I'd still contact Borders, or Barnes and Noble for age appropriate, subject matter appropriate books.

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi R.
Since school will be back in session soon you could talk to the school nurse about it. She/he should have some great resources for you to use that would be completely age appropriate. If there is nothing in the building she could probably point you in the right direction.

Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi R.,
I have a teaching background and am currently reading a book to my daughter who is almost 10, called Growing Up, It's a Girl Thing. by Mavis Jukes.It has great information in it and we can go back and reference things and talk about them again. Good luck!
Jen

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M.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

we have used a book called "It's So Amazing" for our son and daughter when they were 8. It is great. I have lots of friends who have used it too. I think it would be very good for both your kids, it has very approachable "story" and illustrations.

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B.T.

answers from Saginaw on

R.,
I have just explained to my daughter what having her period means and "signs" that she should watch for and who she should tell if I am not around. For example, I didn't have anyone tell me that sometimes there are "brown spots" that are probably an indication that my period was coming. I told her about that; to tell her dad or grandma if I'm not here; and, where the pads were. And I told her that it is her body getting ready to grow up so she could have a baby much, much later. But, I also work with children who have cognitive impairments. Their parents and I and the rest of the team have talked about what to say. I know there are books, but I am honest enough to say that I don't know what they are. However, one of the things that we did (mild-moderate cognitive impairment child and a hearing-impaired child) was make a visual schedule/book using BoardMaker to demonstrate what was happening and how to change a pad. Maybe you could also contact her teacher and/or other professional to help you with that part. I would also suggest that you use simple vocabulary and have as many visuals as possible. You are right to start now. You are right to show her and talk with her. Any girl can be scared when she doesn't know what is happening to her body; and, any type of information processing difficulty can complicate it. I know that my 10 year old continues to ask questions that I have explained over and over. I pray for grace, not patience, because I know it is uncertainty making her ask not a lack of communicating. Good luch and God Bless. Oh, and you keep on toward that degree!!!!
B.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I'll recommend the books my mom used with us, mostly because she did it when we were really little. She wanted us to know stuff properly and not learn it on the playground.

My body is private - the title is pretty self explanatory, here's a link to it on amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Private-Albert-Whitman-Prairie-Book...

If you type in the title, it gives you lots of other ones to choose from on the same topic.

Before I was born. This book talks about body development for both boys and girls. It alludes to conception, but doesn't go into details, mostly to show that the egg is so tiny and look what it grows into... It has lots of pictures of children, adolescents and adults to show the body's development. Here's the link, though I didn't see the exact book we used this time, there are some similar ones. These have more of a "let's talk about sex" theme with a Christian emphasis. I don't know if that's what you're looking for, but there are also some about body development here as well. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Da...

Once you've found a good way to have "the talk", be sure she understands that you're interested and any and all questions she has as time goes on. Its especially important for her to be aware of this and able to talk to you, rather then experiment with other kids.

Also predators often seek out mentally challenged kids because they think they can get away with stuff, so they are at a higher risk. I worked with a blind camp once, and most of those kids are also mentally challenged (that is often the cause of their blindness) and nearly everyone had been molested and people wouldn't believe them for a long time. I don't mean to scare you or dwell on the negative, but it helps to be proactive against this type of thing early on!

Best wishes as you tackle this subject with your daughter!

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S.G.

answers from Detroit on

The Care & Keeping of You (Body book for Girls) is absolutely AMAZING!!! I purchase it for all my girlfriends with daughters approaching this age...go buy it today!! It is great because you can allow your daughter to go through it and then you can set times to discuss the chapters.

http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-American-Library/d...

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Good morning R.! My dad bought me a great book when I hit puberty called "what's happening to me?" I bought it for my youngest 2 boys. It is factual and goes over many issues. I loved it and my sister just bought one for her daughter. Hope this helps, L. S.

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P.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi R.,
I attended a puberty workshop recently with my 11 year old daughter that was FANTASTIC! The speaker was from Seattle so attending one anytime soon might not be possible. Check out their website for recommended books for both parent.
www.greatconversations.com

Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Lansing on

I have a special needs son, so I hear what your going through and a friend of mine has a daughter who has special needs. She went to the middle school in our district and asked the teacher how to talk to her daughter and they gave her some materials that were appropriate for her. She is a very immature girl and has had to deal with her period and has done a great job, so I would say that if the American Girl book doesn't reach her then to try the school system. They have to teach health so they have the materials!!! Good Luck!!!

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P.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi R. ~ the best book that I have found for this situation is The Care & Keeping of YOU, The Body Book for Girls. It's an American Girl book & can be purchased at Target and/or Barnes & Noble. P. D

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