Help W/ Advice on the Dreaded First Week of Daycare!!!

I used to work in a daycare for several years. It can take some kids up to 6 weeks to fully adjust to a new place/change. I know how hard it is to stay away from your son's room (my son was at the daycare I worked at for his 1st year), but that will help, both him and you. Once he's adjusted, maybe it will be easier to visit during the day, but for now it will probably be best to stay out of sight. He will adjust, and it's completely normal to have this adjustment period. I think sometimes it's harder for the parents when a child is adjusting to a new place. Try to make drop off quick in the morning, instead of a long drawn out goodbye. Give him a hug and a kiss, and let him know you'll be back later to pick him up. Just be patient and spend extra time with him when you're not working.

My son did this after going to daycare for 6 mos. We still have our weeks where he throws an absolute fit of going. HOw cool that he goes by your work. But my suggestion for your own sanity don't go check on him until you know he has gotten through this transitin phase. I would call to check on my son and it made it worse on me. I felt horrible. Definitely find a stuffed animal or blanket that he could maybe take with him. We did that for a long time with my son. If the teachers are good, they will help you make this transition easier. Luckily I've had some great teachers for my son, and I can walk in tell him my goodbyes, kiss and literally hand him off and run out. I can hear him screaming outside of the building but in the afternoon they tell me after about 10 minutes he's fine. He'll get through it. My son is going to be 3 in Jan. and like I said we still go through this. He would get so upset and start acting out, like hitting the teacher, but after about 10 minutes would get over it. I would say if you check on him don't let him see you, that just makes it harder on him, because he thinks you are there to get him and when you don't take him with you he feels like you are leaving him there forever.
Good Luck...and it will get better. Just be prepared for the bad days....trust me I've cried half way to work on some of the bad days...it's amazing how such little people can just break your heart.

The only thing that bothers me is the fact that he's crying throughout the day - I'd bring something from home (a lovey, a sippy cup, a picture of you - or one of your scarves or t-shirts) - if he's still crying in the middle of the day next Friday, I'd find somewhere else. At that point, IMO - and experience - there's something wrong - not necessarily with the daycare (although that is the case more often than most moms want to acknowledge), but between the daycare and your child. Yes - if you didn't intervene, eventually he'd stop crying - but not because it's better, or he's more comfortable - just because he has come to the understanding that you don't care and you won't help him. Suffer in silence, so to speak.

We've been to several daycares, my children and I - an in home with my oldest, and he cried EVERY SINGLE DAY. He was crying EVERY DAY I picked him up. So many freaking warning signs. Then one day I walked in and he was scaling a changing table with a 5 month old on it, and no adult in site. That was our last day.

We switched to a center - he cried for four days, and then he didn't want to leave. As in, he asked to go to 'KK' on Saturdays.

My second baby was born - the center doesn't take babies, the in home provider I was going to use for the baby offered me a cut rate for both, and I switched my son. My oldest was miserable. He begged not to go back, and got very physical with the kids and the provider during the week that I made him go. My baby was also miserable. My oldest child went back to his 'KK' - although the provider told me I was 'giving in' to his demands. HA. As soon as I found another in home for my baby, I moved him as well. The first and second providers lost their licenses in the next year. The third home - 'Kia' - was a dream. My baby smiled when he saw her, and was smiling almost every day when I picked him up. Horribly inconvenient location, excellent provider. When he was old enough, he switched to 'KK'. He cried two days - now he loves it too.

Why so long winded? Because I feel like it's important to know that a GOOD DC relationship is so comfortable for the baby. I feel like parents need to acknowledge that sometimes it's not convenient to do what's best for our kids - and that DC can be excellent, but it takes some work on our part.

S.

my daughter did this for over a week (screaming when dropped off, and crying for me the minute she saw me in the afternoon),but she didn't do it too often all day....does he have a blanky or a special sippy cup or something?? Do you feel comfortable w/the people caring for him? It's heart wrenching at first, but they DO get through this....I promise!! You should probably not go down during the day...or at least MAKE SURE he can't see you!! Good luck!

My son also did this. We had two babysitters decide to go back to work, so we have been through the whole process three times. The first week, expect a disaster. The second week he should be marginally better, but still pretty upset. By the third week you should see a noticeable improvement. That was the way it was with my son every time, and I have several friends who had the same experience. If he is not better by a month, you may consider other options. My son did much better at the home daycares than organized ones. Good luck, I know how hard it is, the guilt is overwhelming. However, you will both make it through. I can honestly say daycare has been really good for my son. He is an only child, and has learned how to interact with other kids so much better, and no longer has such a "center of the universe" complex!

I had a really bad experience with daycare center for my youngest. He was about your son's age when I had to put him in and he only went 3 times. My youngest son had only been watched by his dad at our house, after the daycare didn't work out I took him to a in-home daycare. The lady that watched him was really great with him. She only watched him for a week and my husband was able to watch him again. Maybe being in a home-care vs. daycare would be better for him.
I know it hurts to see your child crying.
I also wanted to add each child is unique and just because some children do really good in daycare or even around other people not all children will. My youngest is not as social as my middle son or my daughter. I can tell that now. My middle son did the best in daycare. Thank God my mother helped me out and watched my older two, until my daughter was almost 3 and middle son almost 1. My daughter was old enough to talk and tell me stuff and well as understand somewhat. Even going to church she would rather sit with me instead of going to the kids services. My middle son has always been fine, as well as enjoyed going to the kids church. My youngest will not let me out of his sight, he's a mama's boy, even around my family.
Good Luck, I have a feeling if you do keep him there it will be a few weeks before he is okay with it.
I'll be praying for both of you, it's so HARD on us mamas to see our precious ones crying out for us, and we have to leave them.
God Bless!