Help! We Are Sleep Deprived

Updated on September 30, 2008
M.C. asks from Orem, UT
15 answers

Recently my 15 month old son has been having trouble going to sleep for his naps. He will just stand up in his crib and scream. (his scream is different than his normal cry- he sounds terrified of something.) Now it is also affecting his nighttime sleep. He woke up last night at midnight and screamed, the night before it was 4 am. He will not go to sleep again until you hold him, but once he's asleep I try and put him in his crib and he screams again. To give you a background, we have never had sleep problems with him and that's why this is bugging me so bad. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 5 weeks old. We usually just put him in his crib and he sucks his thumb and goes right to sleep, but now for some reason we are having problems. Is anyone else having these problems and what do you suggest I do about it?

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So What Happened?

Okay first I want to thank everyone for your responses. You guys have been wonderful!! Thanks so much. I took my son to the dr. tonight and they checked his ears and it turns out that he has an ear infection due to his teething. I just gave him his medicine and my husband put him to bed he cried for a little bit and is now quiet. (I'm crossing my fingers he will stay that way. Here's to getting back to a good night's sleep. And yes Elizabeth from this experience I have realized that I am VERY lucky he slept through the night at such a young age. I'm sorry yours haven't. Hope you are able to get a good night's sleep soon. Thanks again everyone!

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L.T.

answers from Denver on

Does he have an ear infection??? That is what I would say or he is having night terrors but it seems like it is a little early for that?

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K.M.

answers from Missoula on

There are a couple of things you can do with your baby. You can say the Lord's Prayer as you are rocking him to sleep, or the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer. Or if you are a believer you can just pray with him. One of my twins became afraid at night and my pastor said to read Psalm 91 every night and not only did she memorize it, but it helped take the dreams away. Or if you are not a pray-er or believe you can go to a book store and buy a lullaby CD and play it in their room as they are going to sleep. I also sang "Jesus Loves Me" to them as I was putting them to sleep. All of these helped me and my 5 children and most of the nursery at church. I hope this helps! Kay

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A.R.

answers from Denver on

So funny to read this, we are going through the exact same thing with our 16 month old! Thing is, since he is #3 we have some idea about what is going on. There are a couple of things that it could be. 1st is separation anxiety. It can kick in about this age, so some calm comforting and firmness about going to bed are in order. It could also be night terrors. We ruled this out because, he seemed aware and night terrors are not something the child remembers or is really awake for. It could also be a developmental burst. 15 mos is a big age because the are usually walking and starting to communicate with words and can often have trouble turning off their desire to learn. My son was also waking in the night and screamed every time I tried to lay him down. The first night, I let him sleep on me for 4 hours in the chair by his crib(CRAZY!). So, the seconds night, I soothed him, he fell asleep, woke when I layed him down and cried (ok, screamed). I told him to go to sleep, that I loved him, and left. It took about 15 min, but he settled down and slept until morning. Every night since then it has slowly improved (about 4 nights now). I have a feeling it is a little of everything. He is happy as a clam in the morning and today, finally took his nap with no complaint. He was also a great sleeper until now. I would be patient. These things usually work themselves out within a week or so. If you are concerned about it being his health, check with your ped, but I have a feeling this soon will pass. Good luck!!

A.

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

definitely take your son to peddiatrician and have his ears looked at... kids can be fine during the day (when upright)... but can be agony when they lay down. try blowing gently in his ears, if he doesn't like it, then he probably has an ear infection. luckily after a day or two on antibiotics, he will be feeling much better

if you can rule out a medical cause.. sounds like he might be getting old enough to be letting you know he'd rather stay up and play than sleep. good time to develop a good bed/nap time routine and stick to it

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C.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son started doing this when he was little, as the season changed. He only screamed in the middle of the night, and it was a terrified kind of scream, and he wouldn't calm down for a long time. My doctor suggested we get his ears checked. Sure enough, he had fluid in his ears - even though he'd never even had an ear infection before. I would suggest getting his ears checked for fluid. Apparently, as the barometric pressure changes, it can cause pain in the ears if they have pressure already.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It's very likely had a 'brain spurt' - a growth in his brain development and increase in ability. He can probably now comprehend something more - maybe that mom still exists somewhere, just not with him - that also scares him ("mom's not here, she's lost"). He's at that age when kids have rapid brain development.

Spend lots of quality time with him during the day. Play peekabo, where is thumbkin (hide hands behind back), hide the button (in one of your hands - have him find it) and hide-and-seek, first with hiding a stuffed animal and helping him look for it then maybe you hiding in an easy place for him to find. Read bedtime books with him - Goodnight Moon is a great one. The extra mom-time, and the hide and find games, may be just enough to help him.

I allowed my kids into my bed when they were at this stage - I don't feel like I at all spoiled them and it allowed everyone to sleep more - but that's a personal decision and there's lots of opinions on both sides about it! Either way, hang in there, he'll outgrow it soon!

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J.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you ever considered co-sleeping? My daughter has a son about 16 months old that has always been very close to her and her husband. It is very healthy for the baby to know he is not abandoned and he is loved. Being all alone in a room can be scary and difficult for a little one

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E.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son is also 15 months old and has also recently begun waking up in the night with a terrified sounding cry - different from any cry we've ever heard him do. We're not sure how we're going to handle this either.

I just have to say, if it makes you feel any better, you have been super spoiled thus far with sleep! I don't even know what I'd do if I had a baby who slept through the night at 5 weeks. You are one lucky mom! My daughter never slept through the night until she was about 23 months old. She woke up multiple times per night for months and months, and no amount of "crying it out" was ever effective. My son was born a better natural sleeper than she was, but still has never been very consistent at sleeping through the night. He has had lots of ear infections/respitory sicknesses, which haven't helped. Sleep deprivation is a way of life for us. Consider yourself really blessed and lucky!

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

You probably came here because you don't know what to do, but I think your "mother's intuition" will tell you what to do. There's a quote I love: Mother's intuition is nothing more and nothing less than inspiration from above. Okay, so that's not the exact quote, but that's the gist of it.
If you think he's scared, he probably is. He's scared and wants his momma to give him a hug. But you said he won't go back to bed after you've comforted him. Is there something in his room that could be scaring him? Get down to where he would be (or as close as you can) and look around with the eyes of a 15 month old. My son was a bit older (maybe around 2) when he told me there was a scary Cookie Monster outside his window. There wasn't anything blue and furry in his room or outside his window, but when I paid attention and put some effort into it, I looked out his window and saw that several trees in the neighborhood, along with reflections off of two roof-mounted air conditioners combined to make a very uncannily accurate outline of Cookie Monster with glowing eyes. It really was a scary Cookie Monster! It was almost creepy enough to send shivers down my spine.
Listen to your son (as much as he can tell you) and believe him.
Maybe rearranging his room could help change his perspective. For example, the trees and air conditioners didn't line up to make Scary Cookie Monster out of any other window, so my son was only scared of him when he was in his room.
My sons weren't in toddler beds that young, and I wouldn't suggest changing that security item right now, when he's upset about something. My first son felt very secure in his crib. When I tried to take the side off the first time (at about 20 months, because a new baby was on the way, and I wanted to transition him out of the crib), he did fine going to bed, but would wake up screaming several times a night. When I put the side back on, he felt much more secure and slept through the night again, no problem.

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N.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Well... the hard thing is that it could be a few different things. But I will tell you our experience. My son started screaming like that when he was 15 months. It was like he was scared or hurt. It was an awful scream. SO of course we came running in. We did that once, and he knew! He knew if he screamed, we would come running. SO....we got back on schedule by doing a strict bedtime and naptime routine. We had to let him scream like that for an hour at bedtime. AN hour is my limit. It was awful, but I was desparate because I also had a newborn. Finally he learned that his screaming didn't work anymore. Now he is back to sleeping wonderfully. 8PM to 8AM and his naps are 2-3 hrs in the afternoon. There are still times that he screams at midnight, but if I don't run in, he only screams for maybe 5 minutes. Anyway, this was our issue. It might not be yours, but kids are pretty smart on how to get what they want. It was hard for us to hear him scream like that. But it was either that, or my health and sanity was going to go out the window trying to do a newborn too. Good luck! If you are concerned, have your doctor check him to see if anything is bothering him, before you try something like this.

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D.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hi M.,
My name is D.. At 15 months old (he is 16 Y/O now) we had our son already sleeping in a toddler bed and he did fine....anyway it might sound like maybe your son had a nightmare during one night or at naptime in his crib, so now he's afraid of sleeping in there maybe because he thinks he'll have another nightmare or bad dream. I hope this helps with your question. :)

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H.

answers from Provo on

This is something you can talk to your pediatrician about especially since they know your son and would be able to see if there was anything physically wrong. Have you tried a night light? Can he communicate any thing like hurt or scared? I have a friend whose daughter had night terrors for a while at about this age...

I hope you find a solution and get some sleep! Best wishes

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

Well I am not sure about the change in the night time sleeping, but as for the day naps I'll give you this advice... If he doesn't want them, then just give up.
Some kids just don't need naps and it creates a bad association with that room when you make him take them.
I know a few moms who have said that once they just realized there kid wasn't a napper and they gave up, their lives became so much better.
You have to realize each child is different and just because most kids nap, doesn't mean ALL will.
My little girl hates naps, but sleeps like a champ at night. As long as she is happy and melting down all day, I figure she and her body knows what they need to make it.

I hope you start to get some sleep soon, but this too shall pass. Just another phase of your little ones life to work through.

Good luck!

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J.E.

answers from Fort Collins on

He might be too young for this but it might be night terrors...

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I would try and discourage the thumb as that will be one hard habit. I am willing to bet it is teething. Try tylenol, motrin or teething tablets. Teething disrupts sleep big time. It worsens at night and for some babies is very painful. Try not to pick him up if you can help it, make sure he is fine, change him but don't hold him and rock him back to sleep, that is another habit that will constant haunt you. If you are wanting to sleep make sure it is or isn't teething, treat it accordingly, if not maybe it is reflux, make sure he is full bellied at bedtime but don't encourage the rocking him back to sleep. Since he has good sleep habits and it is a disruption all of a sudden I am betting it is just teething or a growth spurt.

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