Help with 7 Year Old Know It All Daughter

Welcome to my world! I also have a 7 yr old daughter who doesn't seem to hear anything I have to say. We seem to have the same ongoing battle. I have simply stopped doing things that she wants to do until she can learn to give me the same respect that she wants from me. She gets really frustrated when she has to ask me the same things over and over or say the same thing again and again. I then point out to her that this is what she does to me. It's a slow process, but is very (and I do mean very) slowly starting to get better.

Letting her learn consequences of her own actions is the way to go. If she doesn't learn it at age 7 she won't know it age 18 when it really counts. Don't buy her new sunglasses. Let her spend her own money on them. And don't get her stuff ready for her to go to school. Let her get her stuff together, if she doesn't get to school with something she needs next time she will because she will learn her lesson on that one. My daughter was the same way and it only took a few times to get it worked out. She is in 3rd grade now and very responsible about getting ready for school. I do nothing but make her lunch and sign the papers she hands me. A lesson learned!
K. in Derby, Kansas

I have a seven year old son that has gone through the same phase where I found myself repeating myself incessantly because he was not listening. A new tactic, which has helped tremendously, is that after I ask once, the second time I ask I say "everybody freeze until I have Max's attention", and everybody, including his siblings, stop what they are doing until he stops and listens too. By emphasizing that nothing is going to happen until my child stops and focuses on what he is being requested to do, he now is far more responsive on the first request.

Hi! My oldest daughter is 12 and my youngest is almost 2. Sounds to me like your 7 year old is seeking attention. It could be becuase of the younger child an dif she knows that she ignores you, she will get your attention. Even my oldest had a little trouble at first but I make sure to take time to do things with her without Katie. As far as the glasses thing, I would make her do without. If she keeps asking, tell her no and then you might warn her that if she doesn't start listening better, that there will be consequences. Ground her from her favorite things, like the tv or computer, video games or sleepovers. My daughter just got off being grounded for a month from sleepovers because she told a big fib. She is usually really well behaved and she swears she learned her lesson. :) We'll see. :) Make sure when yuou ground her though that you stick with it and DON'T give in. Plus as girls mature they tend not to listen very well anyway. Selective hearing. :) Good luck!

R.

Well, I sound like a broken record on mamasource when it comes to discipline topics because I always recommend the program love & logic. But, it is the ONE thing that has worked hands down in our house. I have a nine year old son where NOTHING worked with him and this seemed to turn things around fairly quickly. And it is something I wish that I had known about much earlier on. They have books, audio tapes, dvds, etc. at the libraries and bookstores and you could probably even borrow them from a counselor at your child's school. I have also found getting suggestions such as what you are looking for by calling up and talking with the school counselor. They deal with difficult kiddos all the time so they welcome helping those moms and dads that just need some technique!
As far as the glasses themselves I think just not having them anymore is the best fit. She was irresponsible with them and because of that they got broken. Kids can't be told consequences...you can do that till you explode with no avail. They have to LEARN them. TRUST ME - I have a teenager and you don't get more know it all and non listening than that! :) We as parents have to learn to let our kids live out the consequences of bad choices - it sucks but that is the ONLY way they will learn and adjust behavior.
I hope I have helped. I really think you would find some relief with these issues if you checked out the love and logic stuff. It's fabulous! And just know certain ages are tougher than others. I personally have found the odd numbered ages to be the toughest on my kiddos thus far!

Hi J.,
What your daughter is doing at 7 is perfectly natural for her age.
Instead of getting sucked into the emotion/drama, next time something similar happens, say something like,"oh, darn, honey, that's so sad that it broke." Then walk away, don't get sucked in!!! or..."oh, I'm sad that you're freezing b/c you didn't bring your coat". You don't have to say anything like "I told you". The guilt game is no good. Natural consequences are the best. It teaches your daughter independence. Don't look for parental validation from her--you as a parent already know that you know what's best. I hope this helps!
Angie

Wow, this sounds very familiar, only my daughter is 8 and it is getting a little better. My advice on the sunglasses is that she doesn't get a new pair, tough love. I found the most effective way is to be a broken record, make the same request over and over until it is done. We had problems getting out the door. When we would get to the van she would cry because she was hungry or thirsty, tough love, she had to go without as I had warned her we were about to leave. She needed to be ready, she didn't, so she went hungry (without a snack, not a meal, I'm not that tough). It only took a couple times then she figured out that I wasn't going to serve her so she had better hop to. I also had her hearing tested and her hearing is fine. Whatever you do stick to it with everything and in a couple of weeks you should see an improvement.

Natural consequences are wonderful teaching tools. I'm sorry you didn't hear me, maybe you can try harder next time. I don't think we should get another pair of those- H.M. - sun glasses. Maybe we can get a cheap pair so you can practice listening to me. If they can last for a month or 2 then maybe we could try the H.M. glasses. There is nothing directed toward her negatively- she is the one who said that she didn't "hear". You just take the facts and explain how anyone would interpret them. Be careful not to feel sorry for her - this is how we all learn - if not from what we're told, then from what we experience. Also make sure you have things to say to her that are positive. Sometimes you really have to be quick to find some little thing, but it is very important to find them. It's nice to see you pick up... without being told, or you look so pleasant this morning, or it was kind of you to do ... for your sister. If all I heard or thought I heard was" do this do that" you lazy disrespectful child my hearing would go bad too. It is so easy to slip into this especially when kids are in school and come home at pick-up-clean-up-get-ready-for-supper time. She really needs to know that M. and dad love her and hear some of these words. School can be rugged, you never know if it was a good or bad day, a little shoring up can be a nice thing to come home to. Go for it.

Nelda C
M. of 5 nearly grown kids and part- time teacher.

J.,

I vote with Roxanna - Love and Logic is an excellent place to start. The premise is that your daughter needs to reap the consequence of her action and in the process realize that she did not make a good choice. That last part is the key. If the battle is always between you and her or her and her stepdad, she'll continue to focus outwardly and not adjust her behavior based on the consequence. Taking yourself out of the equation is the key - then it's not a power struggle between you and her, but her choice and her consequences. That leaves you free to empathize (not "I told you so", but "I'm sorry, that has to be frustrating").

I sounds like she's gotten in a good routine of not taking responsibility for her actions and choices and it will take some time to change how you interact together. But it is possible and it will work!

J.

Hey J.,

Don't buy her more sunglasses. Let her choose if she wants to spend her money on more or not. Sympathize with her, but let her learn from her mistake. You can talk till you are blue in the face, but letting her experience concequences on her own, no matter how painful it is for you to watch, will be her best teacher.

You've already gotten a lot of advice so I'll just recommend a few books. Making Kids Mind Without Losing Your Own and Raising Kids up Without Tearing Them Down both by Dr. Kevin Lehman. They are SO funny and SO helpful. He's into reality discipline. For example, if you have problems with a kid slamming their bedroom door, you just remove the door! LOL!

Take care!

Amanda

I have 4 daughters and my second daughter just turned 9. Ever since she started talking she has wanted to argue with me. I figured out when she was about 3 that I was arguing with a 3 year old and I'm the one that had to stop. I want to have a good relationship with her so I had to change my approach with her. I just tell her what I have to say and when she argues back I say, "I don't argue with 9 year olds". That is my only response until she stops and does what I say. At first it's challenging to keep your cool, but now she just says, "I know, I know, you don't argue with 9 year olds". We still have our moments and then we both remember that I don't argue with 9 year olds.
About her sunglasses. With 4 girls I bet I've bought 40 pairs of sunglasses over their lives. Here's my theory, if they don't take care of their stuff maybe the Easter bunny will try again next year when they are older and more responsible. That's how I would explain it. I don't think I should replace something you didn't take care of but maybe the Easter bunny will bring you another pair next year...and mean it.
Try not to control how she is handling her things or arguing with you. It's just a power struggle and believe me I've been in a few. I remind them once and if it gets broke I tell them I'm sorry to hear that. I don't rub it in that I told them to take care of it. Life is about choices and it's never too early to learn that you can make good and bad ones.
It takes practice and really trying to have a cool head. I have really struggled with not wanting to get the last word in with her and not wanting to duct tape her mouth shut. *wink*. Put your game face on (cool as a cucumber) and change your approach. It worked for me and I really hope it works for you!!
P.S. Whenever my daughters act like they can't hear me or don't respond at all(I've had their hearing checked by the dr)...they do 10 push ups. You can only IMAGINE the drama when my husband and I started doing that. Now, they do the push ups and don't conveniently lose hearing for the rest of the day!
Good luck honey and hang in there! Take all the advice and come up with some creative things that will work for you and your intelligent daughter to have a great respectful relationship.

Even when you love your child to distraction, you sometimes have to be 'the mom'( aka... the meanie). Your kids will love you for it.

When your daughter doesn't seem to hear you, get on her level. Take hold of her little chin and make her look you in the eye. Tell her what you want her to hear, making eye contact. If she looks away... tell her to look at you. Also, give her consequences. Promise her (I like the word promise better than 'threaten') that if she doesn't do what you ask, then you'll do 'whatever'. Kind of like, if she isn't ready to leave on time, then she won't get to watch Hannah Montana for a day. But, the key is... follow through... EVERY time, and make it something that she cares about. I remember when my oldest was 17 and flunking English. I took his keys until I got a note from the teacher saying his grade was up. He thought I was the meanest mom, and that it was the stupidest punishment ever. But.. in two weeks, his grade was up, and he graduated with an A in that class. It takes work to follow through, and you will not be very popular with her at the time. But, if you make a promise and follow through with it, she'll love you even more in the long run. But, if you give in, she'll know you don't mean what you say. And don't forget, there's always 'the board of education'. I know, all the 'touchy feely' parenting experts today, don't believe in spanking. But, let's compare kids behavior when people spanked with kids' behavior now. Hmm... might there be a link there?

You would be suprised at what making her buy her own stuff actually does. Being a mother of 6 I have been in your shoes a few times. I have let my oldest daughter be in my shoes for a day so she would see I am not overreacting. I had her start by cleaning two living areas in the house. She started with one finished and moved to the other. By the time she was done with that the first room was destroyed again. I also have a seven year old little girl with some issues. I give her money for doing certain things around the house. I do make her buy her own stuff sometimes if it is cheap. There are times when I tell her that what she wants to buy is junk, it will break fast and it's a waste of my money. If she buys it herself, when it breaks, she then relizes why I didn't want to spend my money on it. Kind of like when you tell them to get off of something because they will fall. You have to remind them during the bandage session 5 min later about you telling them that you told them it would happen and that you weren't saying it to be the boss, it was for saftey. You are doing fine, keep it up.It is always OK to say I told you so as a parent. You just have to say it in more mature words.

Hi, J.,

I am a veteran mother of four, and a reformed RR&R (Rant, Rave, & Rescue) parent. I didn't read beyond the advice given by Nelda C and Amanda, of David And Amanda K, so there may be more good stuff beyond theirs, but I found Nelda to be straight-on with her advice; a place to learn what she's describing is through "Love & Logic," materials for which are available through their website & sometimes through the library. I started learning these techniques when my 4th child was 2, but found them, instead, to be invaluable in dealing with her 13-year-old-at-the-time oppositional-defiant brother. They saved my sanity and I encourage you to start on them today. For a RR&R parent like me, it took some practice to change. We all come into parenting toting some of the behaviors our own parents used on us. When we become parents, it's necessary to evaluate the past, keeping the good and eradicate the bad, learning better ways. How I wish I'd been raised with Love & Logic!

Dr. Kevin Lehman, mentioned by Amanda, is the only child-rearing adviser whose books I could read before turning out the light and still be able to fall asleep, whereas all others haunted me with feelings of inadequacy, like I'd probably already ruined my children with all my mistakes. UGH!

Whatever words, actions, and decisions we make, we need to make them in love and deliver them with kindness and sympathy. For our children's sake. They'll chose our care in old age, after all ;-).

C.

Your story brought back memories of my son at that age. We told him time and again to never lay his bicycle behind the car because it was impossible to see it as I backed out of the driveway. He lost two bicycles that way. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with frustration in those moments. But such moments are precious opportunities!

The crumpled bike events allowed us to help him understand the difference between an accident and a bad choice. It helped him develop discernment and a sense of responsibility. We compassionately consoled his disappointment, but with respect, not pity. We also encouraged him to be creative and figure out ways to earn money to buy a new bike. He worked hard at it. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles helped him find ways to earn a few bucks here and there. We did not just hand it to him. Each time, it took a couple of months (eternity when you're 7), but we remained encouraging and consoling. We tried to never shame him with the "I-told-you-so" attitude.

Children are born with the potential to be respectful, responsible, and thoughtful, but it isn't realistic to expect that they will develop these skills without many challenges. Those challenging moments are the 'teachable moments'.

Remaining confident, keeping a humble posture of learning, keeping a focus on what it means to be a parent, and learning effective language skills are, I've found, key to effective parenting and maintaining sanity in the process.

Although I gained much from the spiritual path I am on and studying the Word of God, the most important book I ever read on the subject of parenting is "The Family Virtues Guide", by Linda Popov. It is such a simple and easy-to-read book, very practical and straightforward about the role of the parent, how to mentor rather than force, how to name the issue rather than lay blame and shame, how to help your child develop the character skills that will not only help solve their problems in the moment, but will empower them throughout their lives.

One of the things I love most about this book is that it tells you in the beginning that our parents never read this book and that the first thing you want to do with it is re-parent yourself. I found this book when my son was your daughter's age. It helped from the beginning, but it literally took me years to integrate it into my natural thought and language patterns. My son grew to truly appreciate this book. We studied the virtue definitions together on a regular basis. He will be 22 next week and we have asked him to read through the book before he chooses the person who will be the mother of his children. I cannot begin to tell you how many ways the knowledge in this book enhanced our experience as parents and the many ways it helped shape the lovely young man who shines with a strength of virtue I could not have imagined at his age.

I hate to tell you this, but respect is something that seems to need to be re-taught at each new stage of development. When children do not pay attention or think they know better than us, it is easy to take it personally and feel disrespected. I learned that modeling respect for both myself and the child was very powerful when they sounded disrespectful. I remember my son at 16, rolling his eyes and turning his back as I tried to talk to him. Instead of expressing the anger that began to surface, I said, "Oh, I'm sorry." He asked why I was sorry. I said, "The way you turned away from me seemed to indicate that you don't feel that I respect you. Maybe it sounds like I'm always telling you something as if I think you don't know anything. I really don't feel that way. I thought I had something valuable to say that you would want to know, but I guess not." I turned to leave. I respected the value of what I had to say and was not willing to say it until he was listening respectfully. He quickly asked, respectfully, what I had to say.

Although "The Family Virtues Guide" taught me how to see those 'teachable moments' and how to identify the virtue at issue. Not speaking without a hearing was a gem of wisdom I found in a little book full of wisdoms, "The Hidden Words of Baha'u'llah": "The wise are they that speak not unless they obtain a hearing, even as the cup-bearer, who proffereth not his cup till he findeth a seeker..."

By the way, taking on a humble posture of learning as a parent is really helpful. A phrase my son heard frequently from me was, "Oops! that was a bad mommy-thing to do!" He always encouraged me by responding, "But, your'e a good mommy." To which I would respond, "Your'e right, I'm a pretty good mommy. But a good mommy knows when she's done a bad mommy thing." Children do not respect us because they think we are smart or perfect. They respect us because we are honest and genuine, caring and clear about boundaries. They get nervous if we try to look perfect. Then they think they are supposed to look perfect too. It is important to model how we make our mistakes, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try again.

I hope my memories are helpful to you and give you some enjoyable food for thought. Your family is blessed to have a mother that searches for better ways to unite their family in respect!!!

that is the perfect way to make her understand. I have a 15 year old know it all who wanted me to buy him hot chips and soda when he had his own money. He told me "I'm not wasting my money like that."

I told him, if the was wasting your money, then it is certainly wasting mine. Now, he does chores for $1 a piece and that is how he gets anything he wants...his own money. He has a better apprectiation of the value of a dollar.

I have a nine year old daughter, I have been through the deaf stage with her also.
Your duaghter is expressing her independence, she will do that for along time.
Your are headed in the right track about conseqences for not being responsable in the first place.
I wear sunglasses so of course my daughter wants to be like mommy and has some too, we now keep them in the car where mommy does, and she has learned that it does work better that way.
They get to this age where they think we are complete idiots that know nothing, I blame it on harmones, my daughter has already started her period, alot of girls do these days now.
Sometimes you have to let them fall from their own desicions and not pick them up when it fails. just be there to guide them in a better direction for next time, she will learn that you know your stuff.
good luck

Good morning, J. children are challenging, but if you do not stop this behavior as she grows it will only get worse. One I would punish her for not responding when you speak. When you speak and she does not respond there would be a consequence to face. If there is not punishment or consequnece for her actions why would she change them . Secondly I would buy her another pair of glasses and nor would I allow her to buy another pair. She took on no responsibility to take care of the first pair after repeatedly being told to take of them. If you keep giving to her and she is never held accountable for her actions, you are only going to regret it later as she grows to be a teenager. You must take away from children when they began to show no regard for all that you are doing for her.

My daughter acted out like that when her younger brother was little. She was always a mommy's girl and I didn't realize that I wasn't giving her the attention she was used to getting because I was so busy with her brother. Luckily, I have a 13 year old also who is old enough to watch her brother if dad is busy. My 9 year old is my shopping buddy, she always goes with me and I usually leave my son home with my older daughter. It has helped because she is getting the quality one-on-one time with me and I'm still getting my responsibilities accomplished.

No. Don't go & buy her another pair & don't allow her to use her money. She has to learn the hard way & that is you reminding her that she once had a pair like that but because she didn't want to listen & thinks she knows more than her Mom well now she doesn't have any. The more she ask for something tell her "NO" because she doesn't know how to listen & follow the instructions of her parents & until she does she won't be getting any new things outside of what she NEEDS. You have the time to still crack the whip but you must start now in order to break her from this bad habit before it's too late. Good luck & God Bless!

Maybe after you say something that is important or that you feel she isn't really listening to ask her to re-phrase it back to you...that way you are able to tell how much she caught of what you were telling he. As far as the sunglasses, I wouldn't get her another pair. If she has the money I'd make her pay for them or if she wants a pair and doesn't have the money make her earn them by doing chores or extra work. Or have her tape the old ones back together, or since she broke them being careless maybe this summer she just doesn't need them if she didn't give them the care they require...you could approach the consequence in many ways but ways but I wouldn't just go get her another pair. Whatever you choose let her know that there is natural consequences to not listening to mom (who is smart!). Good luck!

Hello Jaime,

My son is turning 8 and yes he knows everything. He also seems to feel the need to get the last word out. He is careless and is still learning to take responsibility for his actions. I recently took a parenting class, and that subject came up. We were told that to have your child pay the whole expense is actually considered medical neglegence.. I was astounded when I heard that! But she said that it is ok to have your child do extra chores to make up for it. Meaning, buy the glasses, but issue consequenses that would enable her to pay you back some of it. Hope this helps!!

You cannot expect too much from a 7 year old. I too have a 7 year old and she ignores me at times. You have to give them simple step by step instructions they can understand. I think you might be too h*** o* your 7 year old. I just bought my daugter a head band that she adored. She wore it to a bowling alley that has go carts. She was riding one of the go carts and took off the head band because it kept slipping down. It ended up flying out of the cart and got ran over. She was completely devastated. My husband and I did not scold her for it getting broken. My husband went out that night and bought her another one. I really do not think 7 year olds do not fully understand consequences in situations like this. Parents Magazine is a wonderful magazine that you should subscribe to if you don't already. They print artcicles similar to this all the time.

J., do not buy another pair of sunglasses. She needs to learn to take care of what she has at an early age. Explain that her actions has consquences, being careless broke her sunglasses. If she wants anotehr pair she will have to buy them herself. Have her do extra chores if she does not get an allowance to help fund this purchase. Having to use ones own money makes one a lot more responsible of ones belongings.
A. B

two thoughts: my niece's hearing tested a.o.k., But she ended up being diagnosed with an auditory disruption ...meaning that when she listens to ANYTHING ...she is only processing part of it. Her own personal dx was that every 3rd!! word was cutting out...which translates to she was only hearing 2/3 of what was being said!! It took 2 years to diagnose this, including using ADD/ADHD meds which did not work for her. Something to think about!
The other thought would be that I like the idea of your daughter buying the replacement glasses. BUT she has to earn every $$ with extra chores...not using her existing money.

I just typed you a long message but when I went to send it, the screen went back to sign in. That has happened to me twice now with this site...
Anyway, the gist of it is that my daughter had behaviors like that, along with not doing homework, messy room and desk, not following through when given things to do. I found out this year--she is 9--that she had inattentive type ADD.
She is very smart, very athletic, never a complaint from her teachers(except talking to her "neighbors" in class). She just wouldn't remember things, and I could tell her over and over not to do something, like dropping her bookbag near the frontdoor as she came in from school but she would still do it.
She would also interrupt adults a lot and disagree with adults/correct them. I told her "You are nine. You don't correct adults." Well, these things are very characteristic of inattentive type ADD.
It wasn't obvious--her teacher didn't think she had it. Finally her basketball coach suggested it to me and I brought her to an ADD specialist at Missouri Baptist who got me in the day after I called. He makes his own appointments--you call him on his cell phone and he answers!! He charges fee for service $75 for an appointment and he will give you the paperwork to submit to your insurance company if you want to.
If you want his name you can let me know.
It is just something to consider...5% of the population have ADD, but a lot of people don't find out until later in life if they have inattentive type ADD. I found out that I had it right around the time that I found out my daughter has it. We are both much better functioning day to day on medication. It makes it much easier to get things done and to remember what people tell you.
Just something to rule out...

I hear ya sister! My 10 year old has decided that I am an idiot. She knows everything. I pray for her daily and hope that she is able to learn from her own consequences...of course I seem to raise my voice with her a lot more lately and we argue, can't wait til this is over! I don't want to be the "mean" mom that is yelling all the time for her to help out and listen, but what can you do? Have Faith, it will eventually pass...right?

We have a rule in our house that if the kids are careless with something they have been given, they either replace it, or too bad. If it is something that belongs to someone else, they must replace it. For example, my boys (12 and 9) tore my living room drapes in a fight about a year ago. The big problem- they had to be custom made due to the unusual size of the window. So the boys had to be present when the drapery company came and measured, and while we picked out a fabric that we could afford. Even the best cheapest fabric ended up costing over $2000! They were each responsible for half the cost. So the agreement was that since the boys obviously could not afford the drapes, they would work it off. For every hour of work they did for us or a family member (not including cleaning their room), the equivalent of an hour of minimum wage would be deducted from what they "owed". Believe me-they stay away from the drapes now, and they are more careful with their own and other's belongings.

I have an 8 yr old and she is a "little" like that. I ask her to do something and it is like I am speaking another language or a tone she can not even hear. Here is what you do. Take it away! No chances! I am Queen of repeating myself and warning and I get no response. So now I tell her once and if I don't ge the correct response I walk up and take away whatever it is that is causing the hearing impairment. TV, radio, phone, game...... whatever she decided to do instead of listen is mine until she does what she was told. Or you can get a whistle and blow it everytime she can't hear you. It is like there is no sound coming out of our mouths. I have asked my husband if I am actually speaking or if it is all in my head. Also if all we do is yell at them then they turn the ears off. So maybe start out with a praise and get their attention and then tell them what you want them to hear.
C

Hi,J., my name is J. and as you can guess a (man)! But as i see it you could take away the things she likes the most and explain to her that when she starts too mind then she can get one of her things back. Like a prize. Then you'll see a different little young lady respond to you alot better, but you have too be firm on what you do or she'll see you are not really serious, and she'll just continue on doing what she knows best by not doing anything you say. Also, she might be acting out because of the 22 month old and thinking she's being put to the side cause of the baby. So maybe you need to step back a couple of steps and see what she see's and then maybe you'll understand whats going on with her. J.

I know you love your daughter very much. Today these kids have there minds so full of things that they have to do, at school, homework, sports,etc. But she needs to learn responsibilty. When she grows up she will be responsible for being to work on time, so you need to start now. part of it, is her age. She is not an adult. she is a carefree child. But you have to do something to make her realize that she needs to be responsible. And most kids have selective hearing. Even taking them to church, so they learn what the bible says about "Children obey your parents," sometimes doesn't help,because of the peer pressure,from friends,its not cool to listen to your parents. Most of these items now adays are not inexpensive. You can let her know that you will not buy her another pair because she did not take care of these. You can start having her clean or do chores for an allowence, and then she will earn the money to buy it herself. Or maybe you already do. And yes if they have to buy it themselves, they take care of it. And 7 is not too young to start learning about working and making money. Even when they get a little older, have them open a checking account. Have them learn how to balance a check book. I can tell you from experience I did not think that was important at age 10 but they can't start too young and when they grow up they will make you proud. And yes I do think her spending her own money on something she didn't want to buy might make her thinnk. She may have to miss a game, or miss snacks at the game. etc. because she doen't have the money.
nanse

First of all, it is wonderful to begin teaching your daughter the value of possessions at an early age, but you must remember she is only 7. The know it all attitude is typical of little girls. She may be gifted. It sometimes doesn't start until 8 or 9. Lol I have six children, 3 boys and 3 girls, age 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and 22. Trust me, your fun has just begun. My best advice if your daughter doesn't seem to appreciate the value of things is not to allow her to have expensive possessions. It will save you a great deal of aggravation. I think it is a very appropriate consequence to make her use her own money if she wishes to replace her sunglasses. You may see she takes much better care of them if she purchases them with her own money (unless her money supply is endless which it should not be at 7 years old). If you're in a position to be giving her an allowance of more than $1 or $2 dollars a week, she should be made to put 1/2 of it in a savings account and only allowed to spend the other half. It is definitely a good thing to teach them to save at an early age these days also. As far as her indicating she doesn't hear you, it helps to bring your child directly in front of you when telling them things of importance and then have them repeat back to you what you just said. Even though you KNOW they heard you, if they repeat it back, it makes it MUCH harder for them to later say "I didn't hear you say that." Good luck! Try to teach your daughter as much as you can in the next five or six years. By the time she's 12 or 13, she will think you know absolutely nothing and you will really see how well they "don't" listen. I forget who wrote the book, but remember "Parenting Isn't For Cowards."

T. M.