My 3 year old has become very mean to me. When I ask her to do some thing she would look at me and ignore me. She will hit me and yell at me. We just had a new baby girl 2 months ago. So we thought it might be that. I have taken things a way and it does not seam to work. Does any one have any advice? Thank You Happy Holiday.
this is typical especially when there is a new baby in the house. just think if it was just you and your mom all this time and then this strange person came to live with you. it is an adjustment for both of you. do you spend enough one on one time with he?. I know it is hard with a new baby but if you set aside some time to spend with her while the baby naps maybe she will come around. good luck it will get easier
At 3 she is old enough to learn there are consequences for her behavior. If you've ever watched "Super Nanny"... it is how it works. My children are now teens so there were no shows like that when they were growing up but it is exactly the method I've used with my children.
Talking back, hitting, biting, screaming gets a time out. At 3 yrs old, she would sit for 3 minutes. Pick a spot and start putting your foot down. You will be happier and so will she. A child needs parents to set boundaries and teach them what is right and wrong behavior.
She's certainly not adjusted to the new baby - she might be used to her being there, but the baby's needs and behavior are changing so it is a constant adjustment for the older child. What she does notice is that the baby gets (and should get) immediate response from you. So she's not about to respond immediately to your requests! The baby kind of "controls" you (from your daughter's vantage point) so your daughter wants to do the same thing!
You should try to have special one-on-one time with her, do some big-girl things, whether that's when the baby sleeps or when your husband is home.
Some kids have trouble transitioning from one activity to another, so it is reasonable to give her a warning when you can - "In 5 minutes (or when the TV show is over) it will be time for us to go to the store" or "time to pick up toys and have dinner." If it's going to be more than 5 minutes, then give a 2nd warning. Then stick to that time frame.
Otherwise, you need to try 1-2-3 or other method - but whatever you choose, stick to it! Take away something really important to her (but it must be immediate) or put her in time out. Taking her away from what she is doing is probably the best thing. Then implement a sticker chart or other incentive program.
You are the parent and she can't be controlling you. Be specific about what you object to - "being mean" might be too vague for her, but saying "I don't like it when you stick your tongue out" is more effective and precise.
Good luck.
She is probably jealous, kids do tend to act up when there is a new baby in the house. I think you just need to be very consistent but at the same time maybe give her a little extra attention. Can you and your husband take turns having some one on one time with her weekly or daily (like 15 minutes if daily) so that she knows she is still important and loved? In addition, you could try 1, 2, 3, magic - it's a discipline procedure using counting. I would recommend getting the DVD or video rather than reading the book. But it does help because it is clear cut about what the consequences of acting out are.
This sounds to me like a reaction to the new intruder (your new baby). I imagine your first born is just struggling to keep your attention and attempts to "punish" her for expressing her insecurity may be mislaid. It might be better to first try to help her adjust to the new baby by spending whatever time you can with her. Also validating her feelings might be helpful - saying something like "I know you wish Mommy didn't spend so much time with the baby but right now the baby is little and needs Mommy. No matter what, I will always love you and that the baby grows fast and won't need me so much all the time as she gets older". "
After you feel she's more adjusted to the new baby, then it might be time to try to specifically correct her behavior with time outs. i would not resort to spanking -sends completely the wrong message (ie big people can hit little people whenever they aren't happy with them - surely this isn't the message a mom wants to convey).
I wish you well and am sure this too will pass. Happy Holidays.
I highly recommend a Good Behavior Chart. It worked wonders for us. The kids would get a sticker when they showed good behavior (playing nicely with brother/sister, speaking nicely to mommy and daddy, no hurting, using words - no yelling, helping when asked). We started out with the big ones we wanted to work on then gradually added behaviors that we wanted them to show. After 10 stickers - we started out easy in the beginning - they could choose a reward. Our rewards were written on index cards and were things like 20 minutes with only Mommy or Daddy, get to play a game of their choosing, etc. Things that would really be rewards for them.
It worked better than I expected and made for a nice calm household.
Good luck!
Hello, I have a two year old and sometimes she get mean,But one day i notice all she wants is me to spend time with her like read a book to her or just sit there with her on the chair...
