Keep things simple, concise and timeless. If it's taking way too long to sink in, chances are there is not a stark enough difference between her loving, happy, supportive, day to day norm and the very firm consequences delivered calmly after a clear warning, no anger or escalation, when she acts out, is disrespectful etc.
If your daughter has no medical issues blocking her understanding, this behavior is a result of gradual escalation because things were not adequately nipped.
I can honestly tell you, none of my kids stepped further than one millimeter over those boundaries without consistent, swift, calm action from myself or my husband, and as a result, the tendencies never grew, and we've never been angry with the kids. We've never had to leave locations, do lengthy time outs, take thing or privileges away, any of that. No power struggles. No tantrums and defiance. We spend virtually no time on discipline which enable natural positivity most of the time.
If you are effective, you'll have a lot less trouble on your hands and she'll be much happier in every way.
Get the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson-it is perfect for this age at effectively instilling respect in your child firmly enough in a loving home. There is no wheel reinvention, it's how discipline has been done right for generations. Enforcing her behavior very early on will not remove her ability to do right on her own. My daughter already does right on her own and doesn't need my enforcement other than explanation, but that was not always the case.
I have 3 kids, my oldest (daughter) is 5. She is the joy of my life and a wonderful, respectful, sensitive, giving, mature amazing young lady thanks to early discipline, like the system in the book. She hasn't been disciplined since she was 3, and I never have to worry she will act out, she can go anywhere with me and has a lot of mature activities she can do on her own without me worrying. We're literally best friends. My 3 year old son is also awesome and my ex terror who is now 2 is "getting it". 2 and 3 are the crucial discipline ages, and 4 is getting on the late side, but you can do it. Check out the reviews and read about it on Amazon. It will solve this if you are philosophically OK with discipline.