Help with Potty Training My 20 Month Old - M. A.

Hi M., in my opinion no it is not to early, my kids were done potty training at 21 months, 19 months and 22 months, once you start him on a regular schdule he will learn to tell you sooner. Just use reward and discipline and you will have great sucess. J. L.

First of all, yes I think that 20 months is to young to be completely potty trained. He is just in the begining stages of potty training. Sounds like he is right on track, and even ahead of the game. I mean, if you want him to be potty trained now, then I would keep asking him if he needs to go potty......like every 10-15 minutes, consistantly.
That will always keep his mind on his bladder. Don't wait for him to come to you with it.
Good luck!

I think 20 months old is way too early. My son is also 20 months old and at 18 mo. he started telling me "poo-poo" too - either when he was about to go, or after he went. I bought a potty to introduce it to him, as the pediatrician suggested, but that's as far as it goes. I think it's too much to expect a child to be potty-trained by age 2. All kids are different. All you can do is try to introduce the idea and bring him to the potty.

I know kids who have learned ON THEIR OWN before hitting two. These kids were a success because they initiated it. No, it isn't too early per say, but is HE ready? My son was saying poo poo and pee pee and getting himself on the toilet by 19 mos but he didn't end up being toilet trained until 3. I highly recommend you read The No Cry Potty Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, it is a short read and very informative. YOU would like him potty trained by 2 - good goal, but is it realistic - read the book to find out. I'd hate for you to do all the work and set him up to fail. Starting before they are ready can be very frustrating for all parties involved.

Not to piss in your cornflakes - LOL! He might be ready! It's happened before, my advice is to just be sure so that it's a success for him.

M.

Hi M.,

My son is 19 months old and we're working on the potty training right now, too. We have been since a little before 18 months because my son was very interested in it. We bought him a potty seat that goes right on top of the toilet and we mostly just put him on it whenever he asks. For the first couple of weeks, he didn't ask very often and nothing happened, but then one day it just happened and he was so proud of himself that he goes every time he sits on it now (and has gone poo-poo three times). I still keep him in diapers because, like your son, he doesn't give me enough warning yet (if at all) and I'm afraid that he's still too young. I've tried letting him go without a diaper for about four-five hours and just putting him on the potty every 20-30 minutes, but you have to expect there will be accidents if you do this. I think it would go faster if I just completely did away with the diapers, but it's difficult when you have to do things out of the house and I don't want to make it a stressful thing for either one of us. I just found a couple of items on Onestepahead.com that I plan to purchase soon. The first one is these cloth training diapers that are supposed to be better than pull-ups because they 1) are earth friendly, reusable and more economical and 2) supposedly the children can tell better when they've wet themselves. The other one is a potty watch that helps you and the child remember when it's time to go. Here are the links for the items on the website:

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

HTH!

Hi M.,
I know how exciting it can be when it looks like our little one is ready to use the potty. The thing is that there is a big difference between letting you know when he is already doing it, and letting you know in advance and making it to the potty. It takes a while for them to get the signs in advance enough to make it to the potty. Closer to three years old is typically when they can do that. Also, "failure" can create a sense of shame for them.
My son started saying "pee pee in potty" (around 2 yrs old) and did it a couple of times, but it was a novelty thing. He wasn't at all ready to be potty trained yet. He liked wearing his Wiggles underwear, but couldn't recognize in advance that he needed to go potty, so he would just pee in his pants. I tried it out with him to see how it would go, but never forced anything. Then one day he peed on our bed. My husband got really angry with him, and that was it. He wouldn't so much as touch underwear anymore. It was horrible. Later, we made an agreement about it. I asked him if we could try it again when he was three, and he thought that was a good idea. I am telling you, his third birthday came around, and he said, Okay, I'm going to start using the potty now. He did. He still had some accidents, but he did it.
I guess I'm sharing my story because I remember how excited I was when it seemed that my son was interested in using the potty. Since he is so super smart, I thougt that maybe he just might do it early. The truth was that physically his body wasn't there yet. And it all worked out just fine.
All the best!
M.

Hi, I am a grandma, and can say each child is different. My son was completly trained by 2. My daughter would have NOTHING to do with it until sha was about 3. Same for my 3 1/2 yr old granddaughter. So, from the advise of a mom who has 5 out her 9 trained, she suggested this to 2 of us potty training and it worked for both. At about 2 plus, start talking about what will happen when they turn 3. No more diapers, training pants. You get to go potty on potty chair. It worked. My now 3 1/2 yr old is a successful diaper free girl!!!! Get age appropraite books about potty time and Elmo from Sesame Street has a DVD out about potty. Start now on the books and video. Unless your child expresses an interest in potty on a chair/seat, don't push it!!!

M., I don;t really know about how early/if he's ready stuff, but did want to offer a little tip that worked for me. When i started training my daughter she must have realized that drinking made her go or something b/c she totally all of a sudden would not drink anything. So I started making her little 1oz popcicles out propel water. She got one everytime she made it to the potty. It really worked for instant gratification. She also had a reward chart to get a bigger reward at the end But I think when they are so little they don't really get the big picture of working toward the whole goal. She was really good after 3 days and 100% trained in a week. Hope it works for you! Good Luck!

Wow! It sounds like he is ready to potty train. Usually boys take longer to "get" it! Try potty treats. A couple of lil Skittles or M&M's, we always did one Starburt (or something he really likes and doesn't have often). You don't want to push too hard too early, but at the same time you don't want to ignore if he's showing signs, which your little tiger is! Just a little positive encouragement like a treat will do wonders for a our kids. Good luck!

It all depends on the child. My older child didn't get potty trained until 3-years old and ready to enter preschool. My second child (14 months) will go if the need is there,and if placed on the potty. The babysitter started putting her on the potty at 10 months about 15 minutes after drinking a bottle and making potty noises. She makes the association that if you put her on the potty, she will try to do both. She can't tell us when it's time, so we just take her, based on when she ate or drank. So I don't think 20 months is too young. There's a whole philosophy about infant potty training. You can google it, but here's one link: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/infantpottytraining.htm... cost savings on diapers alone intrigued me and it does seem to work for some people.

Good luck!

Dear M.,

I found that when I stopped worrying about potty training my daughter, it happened. In fact, I can't even remember exactly when it did happen...but by 3 she was potty trained. We had a little potty we used, and I would give her "potty treats". This is one of the things I would have changed in our lives, if I had to do it over again. The treats were little chewy natural candies from Trader Joes...that stuck on her back teeth and gave her some terrific cavities later! The idea of a treat was great...just be selective about what kind of treat. You will get there!

It sounds like he understands but not quite. He is young so you might get more accidents, but here is my advise because my daughter at 18 months would go on the potty though I never potty trained until 2. Start with morning pee. He wakes up dry grab him and run to the potty, make him sit their until he goes, he can't hold morning pee forever. He may hold it because he doesn't feel the diaper so if you can put the little potty in front of the tv then he'll forget about the no diaper thing and go. Then you do the pee pee dance praise. So he loves to make you so happy you will do the funny dance again. When you change his diaper the first week of catching the morning pee tell him to go try put if he can't then he can't. Also talk to him about how his tummy feels before he goes and after he goes. You want him to put together the presure in his tummy with needing to go, and the release button. Since he is so young you will need to help him explain these big words. Like does your tummy feel full but not like it's full of food, use little words. Then week 2 take off the diapers put on the big kid undies and never go back to using diapers or pull-ups again not even for #2. The first week he has learned to feel and release quickly. That is the whole concept. But you will need to remind him, because he is young and they all get playing and don't want to stop. But you simply say listen to your tummy it tells you when you have to go. And if you wait to long you will have an accident.

If he continues to have accidents start making him clean them up. You want him to learn that because he chose to be lazy he has to clean up. He knows better, and if this clean up thing takes him away from play he will stop the laziness, because it is less time to just pee in the potty. Once he understands all this and is doing well and maybe when he is a little older then you can teach him the stand up method. And make him clean it up if he misses the potty. He'll be a better aim if he knows he will have to clean it up.

There is nothing worse then going to someones house where they have not taught them to be good aimers, and you are afraid to sit down. Also teach them to put the seat down from the begining, so it's a habbit. Just because your the only girl in the house doesn't mean there is no rules.

Good luck! J.

Yes, Although my daughter had it learned by the time she turned 2(did not take long with her.) I waited until my son was almost 3. About 2 months before and then he had it down quickly too. Neither of my kids ever went again in their diaper even through the night. Sometimes you have to wait for them, the worst thing you can do is make it miserable for either then it will prolong it. You can continue to put him on the potty if he is ok with that-(the first step is knowing when you went and he knows that). Or you can wait a few months and try again. Don't let it get frustrating-he sounds like he is almost ready.

Hi M.,
In my experience 20 months is too early for boys but that doesn't mean it can't be done if the boy is really interested in it. My son was showing some interest at that age so I bought him "Once Upon a Potty" - it came with the seat, video and book. He would sit on the potty and watch the video but he wouldn't use it. Boys are hard to train and although they show interest they don't like to actually use the potty. However, you can get your son excited by letting him help you pick out a potty and pick out a seat to go on the big toilet (and you'll need a step stool so he can get up on it). That may be incentive engough for him to be trained. It didn't work for me though. My son was 35 months old when we finally trained him and we did it by telling him "no more diapers you're using the potty today". And he did it. We still used pull ups at night until we were sure he could make it through the night dry and could wake himself up if he had to go in the middle of the night.

I'm not sure how you get a 20 month old to tell you he has to go because he has to recognize that he has to go and be able to tell you before he goes in his pants. It sounds like you're off to a good start though and he will eventually get to the point when he'll be able to tell you before he actually goes.

FYI - once you have him trained he'll want to see the inside of every bathroom you pass in the mall, in a restaurant, in someones house...he'll tell you he has to pee to ensure that you take him there....This passes once the novelty wears off.

I hope this helps a little.

My daughter is going on 22 months and I started putting the potty trainer in the bathroom about 2 months ago but haven't really tried to put her on it. She also says pee-pee and poo-poo but I don't think kids are really ready to train until 2 years old. I'd like to see the other responses.

In my opinion 20 months is WAY TOO YOUNG to even think about potty training. He's on the right track by telling you that he's gone, but chances are, he's just using the new words that he's learned. I would wait until 2 1/2 or 3, especially for a boy. I have a 19 month old daughter, and it isn't even on my radar yet. (I have two potty trained children, six and four, and they were completely different during potty training.) You need to wait until they have the cognitive ability to even know what potty training is. Just be patient, he'll be potty trained soon enough. :)

my daughter is 18 months and i am potty training her. we set her on the potty every 30 mins untill she pees. she has successfully pooped in the potty a couple times (but i know that will take longer to master). i use a reward when she goes. she gets 1 after dinner mint for going pee and 2 if she poops in her potty. i do not use diapers anymore but i do use pull ups only when we leave the house or she is put to bed the rest of the time she is in underwear so she knows when shes wet. i dont think your son is too young since he verbalizes when he goes. my 18mo doesnt verbalize when she goes in her pants but she shows the intrest and has even peed infront of her potty because she couldnt get it open. try taking him more frequently and not just when he says every 30 mins is great just say hey lets try to go potty!. try to make it fun for him (read a book while hes trying to go). keep up the good work its a long process (shoot im aiming to be done by 2 1/2 yrs lol). good luck!

I do personally think 20 mo old is too young. All of my kids showed interest around 2, but they all lost interest and couldn't communicate clear enough to get to the potty before they went. My older 2 did it all on their own right about 3 yrs old. My youngest will be 2 in a couple weeks. He has his training potty and when he says he needs to go I let him sit on it until he dribbles a little bit. He feels he accomplished something which is great, but I'm not expecting any more than that this young. It's up to you how hard you want to push your son, but I think the easier you make it on him the quicker it will happen when he's completely ready.

Don't frustrate yourself or your child, if he is ready it will happen very quickly, all three of my daughters were trained in a matter of 3 days and I have never used a pull up, not even at night! My sweet baby boy, now 2.5 has shown signs that he is ready, but I am not pushing him because he is still learning so many things in a day that it is not worth the stress for him to have to add that to his list. We tried a little over the weekend, but he is really not completely ready, I will wait one more week and try again and see how it goes, I did this with my daughters and it worked great, I did not stress about it and I did not have a ton of accidents to clean up because they were truly ready to be trained and they were 22 months, 24 months and 27 months old.

Good luck! Remember consistency is the key!

Boys train at between 3 and 3.5. You are WAY, WAY too early. What on earth is the rush? Taking notice of bodily functions (as in him saying peepee) is a far cry from him being ready. Try again in a year, and you will still be jumping the gun. Mom of four boys.

my son started potty training himself a few months ago..he's now 2 1/2 ...it started w/ me peeing in front of him and saying.."this is how big people go to the bathroom" usually when we were out...so i had to bring him in w/ me in his stroller to the public bathroom..
then i bought him a potty..i let him run around naked b/c he pulls his diaper off anyway...
and he uses the potty...but he wears a diaper when we're out and about.
why don't u buy a little potty and show your son how it's done..i bet he would go on his own. He might have a few accidents..but my pedi told me this was the way to do it. the doc also said to allow for some naked time outside if it's not cold..said to bring the potty outside too. 20 months does seem young but if your son is alerting you that's great.

You might want to read up on the subject. 20 months is pretty young, especially for a boy. Most boys finish their learing at around age 3. If you push him to learn too soon it could really cause some self-esteem issues. Intelligence is not the key factor to potty learning, it is actually physical. Below a certain age bladder control and peristalsis are involuntariy. I really think that starting the learning process with high expectations too early is only setting you and your son up for some major frustration!

HI M.,

I just wanted to add my two cents to the potty training issue. First off, it is great that your son is showing interest in this area. But, that is not all he needs to be able to be trained completely. I am a mother of four children, 24 year old girl, 22 year old boy, 12 year old son and 7 a year old daughter. Since you are a SAHM, things might be a little easier for you to follow a schedule. Schedules are great if they can be the same every day.

In my experience, the potty training issue can be come a huge source of a power struggle. That is what is was with my oldest! I was young and inexperienced about it. At 17 months, she said potty to grandpa as she was standing by the bathroom door. Well, she went potty! I was so excited, but I decided to wait since I was expecting #2 in the next two months...so I waited to start with her because I didnt want to need to get up every single time she said Potty! The other issue back then was the diapers couldnt be sealed back on the baby, so every time she wanted to just sit on the pot, it ruined the diaper unles your were real careful. Well, four months later, when "I" was ready to train her, it became a power struggle. Guess what? She always won! It needs to be their idea...all the time. I can even remember making her sit on the pot when she was at daycare. She said "No, I dont need to go." Well, we left daycare and she was wet in less than 5 minutes from the time we left...she was controlling the situation. I too gave her treats/rewards each time she pottied in the toilet or even if she just sat....well, that was not a good idea either.
In my opinion, if a child much under the age of 2 1/2 is trained, it is mostly that the adults in their lives are trained! If you are willing to work extra hard, it can happen. But be ready for some set backs....versus, if you wait for a while longer, then it will be your child trained and not you.

I think that if you are going to reward them for going, it should not be connected to food at all...a little song and dance by mom, dad or daycare provider should be adequate...and their own excitement on an awesome accomplishment. Just be sure and not do what I did the first time around and get in power struggles over something that you cant control at all.

Best of luck,
T.

Hi M.,
I was an infant day care teacher and we potty trained a few at 20 months. The key it to put them on a bathroom schedule. Give your child a lot to drink and put him on the potty every 30-45 minutes throughout the day. This will help him recognize the sensation, and will guarantee at least one successful urination in the potty. When he does go in the potty make a big deal about it and give him a little reward. You can even make a sticker chart for every time he went on the potty. And be sure to teach him to wash his hands every time he attempts to use the potty, even if he doesn't. This is the time to instill good hygiene.

It sounds as though your son is ready to potty train being that he communicates "peepee" and "#2" implies that he is aware of the sensation, that's always a plus regardless if he's a wee bit late. Just remember that every child is different even within your own home. With my girls i took away the diapers during the day and put them in big girl panties, at night they were put in pull ups. I stopped allowing them to drink anything after 7pm and toiletted them prior to bed time and first thing in the morning. I would sit them on the toilette every 1.5 to 2 hours regardless if they said they had to go or not and if they produced I gave them 1 to 2 candies from the jar of m&ms i kept in the kitchen. The only down fall for me was an occasional mess here and there but it was well worth it for the excitement and sence of accomplishments my daughters felt. Remember that children thrive when they have consistency and although you may find that initially it takes alot of effort, in the long run you will have a successfully potty trained little man.....good luck!!

It depends upon the child. However, my grandmother had a gift she potty trained her daughter at 6 months old when she found out she was pregnant again. LOL

When you wake up get him up around the same time as you. Create a routine and stick to it. When you place him on the toilet explain to him what you want him to do. Give reward stickers to encourage him. Create a board to show him his progress. Even have a long term reward when he makes progress besides the stickers.

Make sure everyone in the household is involved in the process. That helps tremendously.
HOpe this helps.

My sister-in-law's doctor said to wait until they are 2 and 1/2 years old. We sort of started training our son at 2 years old and he wasn't completely potty trained until 3 and 1/2! Starting early could backfire? Maybe wait until he seems more ready??
Good luck!

M., I think that you are off to a great start potty training. Continue taking him when he tells you he has to go. Pushing any more than that right now could cause a major set back and reluctance to potty train at all. The other thing you could do, is provide a reward every time he goes on the potty. He's recognizing the sensation, which is the most important step. Now slowly and positively try to go to the next step, going on the potty once in a while when he recognizes the feeling.

There are 3 steps of awareness that a child has to go through to be successful at potty training:
Step 1 - "i just went!
Step 2 - "I'm going now"
Step 3 - "I need to go!"

It sounds like your son is on step 2. Don't rush it. When he is ready to be potty trained it will be very quick, but if you try too hard it will be very messy and painful for both of you. Praise him for realizing that he is indeed, going at this time, and let him know that when he wants to go in the big boy potty, you have some Bob the Builder underwear for him to use instead of diapers. I had better luck when I let my girls decide when they wanted to wear their princess panties and no more diapers!