Helping a Baby Readjust to Nursing and Re-bond with His Mom -- HELP!

Updated on July 28, 2008
M.O. asks from Highland Park, NJ
11 answers

My sister-in-law was hospitalized for a week and was just discharged. During this time, her three-month-old son was on formula. After her discharge, her son (my nephew) rejected the breast and turned his face away from his mom; she had to give him a bottle.

My SIL is strongly committed to breastfeeding and is in love with her little boy -- she's heartbroken. We'd be grateful for any advice on helping a baby pick up where he left off.

(I should also mention that my SIL pumped while she was in the hospital, so it isn't a question of milk supply. But because of the medication she was on, he couldn't be bottle-fed her milk.)

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So What Happened?

My nephew started nursing again! Thanks so much to everyone who wrote in with suggestions. My SIL is very grateful. What worked was actually a variant of what Mindy suggested. My SIL offered the baby the breast right when he woke up -- that is, when he was barely awake. He nursed with no problem then, and from then on he was nursing with no problem, smiling at her: they picked up right where they had left off. My SIL also called La Leche League, as many people had suggested. But by the time they met with somebody, the problem had been resolved. Thanks so much to you all!

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E.C.

answers from New York on

La Leche League leaders are free and give great support. She can look up her local leader at http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

If your sis in law is recovering from surgery make sure she gets plenty of help for household stuff. She should take her shirt and bra off and get cozy on the bed with baby (in just a diaper, skin to skin is the key); this will get baby loving the breast, she can feed him a bottle this way too.

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

contact your local LaLeche League.

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E.F.

answers from New York on

Hello M.,

I would suggest that your sister in law pump her milk, and put it in a bottle. then feed it to her son. slowly, move him from the bottle to the breast. perhaps after bottle feeding him her milk, she can try to extract just a little bit on her nipple, to rub on his lips, so he gets the taste. That may help him to then accept the breast.

She should also try asking her doctor for suggestions, or calling the la leche league. I thnk every state has that. you can probably find a website or phone number online. They are a group of nursing advocates, who answer questions and help to guide mothers who nurse their babies. I hope this helps.

Most important, keep telling your sister in law to not give up. Nursing is a wonderful thing for boht mother and child, and it does build a strong bond. I nursed both of my children until they were about 1 1/2. when my son was first born, he wouldnt nurse, only take a bottle. The reason was he had a small hole in his lungs, and was lethargic, nursing took to much energy, the bottle was easier. It still was devistating for me that he wouldnt nurse when he was first born. I can sympathize with your sister in law, and i wish her the best of luck.

Liz

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K.B.

answers from New York on

Great advice has already been given. The kellymom.com articles are very helpful.

To reiterate, I would suggest expressing some milk and feeding it by the bottle-- start the feeding with the bottle and then try putting the baby back on the breast for the rest of the feeding. Also, make sure the nipple on the bottle is a slow-flow one which is more like the breast. THe fast-flow nipples are too easy for the little ones.

Good luck!

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S.V.

answers from Rochester on

Hi,

Sorry to hear about this situation, I can only imagine the heartache that comes with not being able to nurse. I'm kinda a self taught know it all so I wanted to put some suggestions out there. First I would try pumping and feeding the baby by bottle with breast milk. If the baby doesn't take to it right away, keep trying to first offer the breast milk before formula, most babies prefer to nurse, they just forget sometimes. Also babies truly love skin to skin contact so suggest to your SIL if she is able to, to strip both herself and the baby down for feedings, it may sound silly but laying down side by side and nursing is very intimate and my get the baby's interst. If she hasn't already please have her contact a lactation consultant or nurse whom she is comfortable with and seek more professional advice. I wish all the best to her. One more thing, it may sound mean but worked for me, switch to a nipple that is harder to suck from when formula feeding, if it is easy to get milk from the breast it is more desirable.

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S.D.

answers from New York on

i'd also try expressing some before she tries nursing. formula comes out of a bottle immediately -- so i think babies can get impatient if after the first few sucks nothing comes out.

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J.S.

answers from Jamestown on

I've read some great tips from others. Let me put in my two cents' worth of encouragement. It is possible to restart nursing after a hospital stay. My 3-week-old breast-fed baby and I were separated for one week when my appendix ruptured and I ended up in the hospital with severe peritonitis. I was not allowed to nurse for awhile even after I was released from the hospital because of the strong antibiotics I was taking. My milk was practically non-existent when I was given the green light to resume nursing, but I was determined (and stubborn!). I devised a system where I started the day nursing my infant for that early morning feeding; there came a point in the day when it was obvious that my milk was not enough to satisfy my son, so then he was given formula for the rest of the day. Every day that point of hunger happened later and later until finally I had enough milk to satisfy him for 24 hours--probably a week and a half later. From then on he was exclusively breast-fed until the age of 6 months, when he was started slowly on solids. He continued nursing until he weaned himself--much later!
Good luck to your sister-in-law! I believe that with persistence and patience she can get back to nursing her baby.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

Your nephew has gotten used to the instant gratification that comes with the bottle - he sucks, and immediately he is rewarded with milk. At the breast, he has to work for it. My suggestions:

Have mom watch for early hunger cues, such as head moving side to side, mouth opening/searching, hands in the mouth and put him to the breast right away. By the time a baby cries with hunger, they are desperately hungry and do not have patience to wait for food
Mom can pump/hand express just enough to get the milk letdown before putting baby to the breast so that he gets the milk instantly
Mom can start with a bottle of pumped milk to take the edge of his hunger and then switch him to the breast mid feeding
Mom can contact a lactation consultant and get a supplemental nursing system, put pumped milk in it and the baby gets some milk from there instantly while still stimulating the breast, and eventually get weaned from the SNS and just nurse at the breast.

Good luck to your sister. Contacting a lactation consultant or a La Leche League leader is also a good idea!

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Everyone has given great advice so far, and links to great articles.

I just wanted to let you know that I was away from my guy for a few days while in the hospital (he was given formula) and we were able to get back to everything just fine. The key for me was just spending as much one on one time with him as possible. I didn't really care if he was eating, I'd offer the breast just as a pacifier just to get him used to me instead of a bottle.

Good luck to your SIL!

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