How Do I Get My 5 Year Old to Stop Crawling into My Bed.

Hi C.,

You can try to offer her a reward of some sort for sleeping in her own bed. If there's a toy that she really wants, or a place that she loves to go with you, you can offer that. Yes, sometimes bribery is the only way. LOL

Try using a sticker chart and give her a star for every night that she sleeps in her own bed. When she gets to say, 10 stars or so, she earns her prize. You can customize this reward system however you like. Maybe a mini-prize for every night?

Best of luck to you!

L.

Hi C.,
I think that it doesn't hurt anyone, and benefits all for having her get a little cuddle/mom time in the wee hours. Soon enough, she will want nothing to do you with you, and want her privacy, so I say, take advantage of these small but very important times. With you working, you are both getting a little more time together, and even thought you are asleep, this is still bonding time. ~R.

Enjoy your little one crawling into bed with you. This won't last forever and one day they will be too buzy with their own life, that they won't want to be with you.
Our son was about 6 or 7 years old when he stopped crawling into bed with us and we kind of miss that type of love and bonding time. He would much rather play computer games with his brother or watch cartoons with his little sister (who still crawls into bed with us). Its only a moment in time.
S.

I'm a grandmother of 7 and have three adult children.
Let her sleep with you. She needs the comfort of being with you and if she doesn't disturb you, what's the problem?
Soon enough she won't want to sleep with you.
Divorce makes kids insecure, but this happens even with kids of intact families.
Did you know that in some societies, it was acceptable, even encouraged, for children to sleep with their parents until 10 or 12.
Enjoy it while you have it.

Long ago I put a sleeping bag and pillow under my bed. My children know that they can come into my room if they feel that they need me at night but that they cannot sleep in my bed. I have five of them and you never know when one will have a bad dream. I always have them start in their own beds.

My daughter became very frightened during the Elizabeth Smart case and would not sleep in her own room. My sister had a connection with the family and she overheard some of the details. She would come into my room and sleep on my floor for over a year.

Now I have very few nights with children in my room. I made sure that their beds were very comfortable and more desirable then sleeping on the floor. However they know that I am there if they ever need me. I wanted them to know that they can always come to me when they need something.

C.:
I have a nearly 4 year old who still prefers to sleep with mommy. I work in education, so there are times when I am home for several weeks at a time, and then I work full timet the rest of the year. I have notices two things,

one: when I am working, or the week is really busy, he tends to want to sleep with me more.

Two: when a big change is taking place, or something new is happening (even good things) and he feels a little insecure he tends to want to sleep with me more.

He has identified this himself and tells me he needs more "Mommy Time".

I also expect (and have conferred with others) that being a single parent affects it. The kids only have one parent's attention on a daily basis instead of two.

Children need the security of closeness and affection. When they feel they don't get enough, they try to find ways to get it. Getting up in the night and sleeping with you is one way to be close to you. There is nothing wrong with it. Give your child the security and reassurance she needs now, and she will be more confident. Deny her now, and it may cause more problems in the long run.

Go ahead and talk to her, see if she can articulate her feelings. She may not be able to. But it is ok to let her be close to you. She needs it. It will pass as she grows.

personally I don't see any harm if it works for you which it sounds like it dosn't really disrupt your sleep. What a nice time to snuggle next to mommy.If you work full time this might be a way for her to get some extra time just being next to you. Having had all my children in my bed for different periods I can say I had no trouble getting them to transition to sleeping in their own beds all night. we now have our 2 yr old sleeping with us soundly through the night and I'll really miss these years when there over.I say enjoy it ,it's only a short time. Iam a mom of three 11yr g 8 yr b 2yr g

mabey try staying in bed with her until she falls asleep, and try explaing to her that u need your own space . but make it fun 4 her . try saying something about big girls and how they sleep in thier own rooms and that u know she can do it because she is becoming a big girl . but also explain that it is ok if she cant do it at first , and u will just have to be pacient for a while . but reamember little kids NEED to be next to thier mom and that it is quite natual 4 her 2 want to sleep with u .

It sounds like her coming in isn't bothering you. And how precious to wake up together! It will end soon enough all on its own - she'll consider herself too old to snuggle with mama in bed. I think you should treasure it while it lasts :).

All of my kids did this and eventually outgrew it. I think it is nice for them to know that although they must go to sleep in their own bed, when they awake in the night and are scared, they can always come in with their mom, feel secure, and go back to sleep. My six year old still does this most nights but my other kids stopped eventually around six. My advice is to let them. There is nothing worse than being a child and being terrified in the middle of the night.

Hi C.,

Why is this a problem? Are you worried she won't learn to be independent in her sleeping routine?

My thought is she won't be a child forever...so enjoy the closeness and the yummy time of waking up together. I don't think there is anything to worry about. She'll be grown before you know it and you'll wish she were still climbing in your bed with her little feet! Enjoy!

C.- is this a hill you want to die on? She will stop coming into your room soon enough, and when she is a teenager, you will beg her for some one on one time. If you dont have a guest with you, let time serve its purpose and eventually she will stop.

M. T

Hi,

If you look at the Mama source requests - kids wanting to sleep with their mama seems to be one of the top 5. Which actually validates what I believe to be a truth of our species - to sleep soundly and safely next to one's mama is a real human need. Is the reason you think she should only sleep in her bed for your comfort or is it a 'Should' I would start by examining that first and foremost.

THe human species developed with families sleeping together why are we constantly pushing the children away. I do not see how it relates to independance virtually every 'parent dependant' adult that I know(I'm 47 so know alot of folks) was pushed away and neglected and THAT is the root of their adult dependancy not to much cuddling. I did major cuddling with my son who is now 18 he is far more mature and independant , stable & self directed than most all in his peer group.I nursed him till he was 3 and laid down next to him till he was nearly 12.

He has 2 younger sisters who I have raised the same way. All I'm saying is what do YOU really think & what is 'the voice' that makes this wrong somehow? What does your gut say. Isn't it cozy after a long day at work to have your little one next to you who proably can't think of a better place in the whole wide world to be.

Our society has removed itself so far away from nature and natural behaviors that we really need to question everything at this point no matter how many theripists are turning a buck on this subject.The theripists couches are actually full of the grown children who were rejected,ignored & abused not the ones who had 'to much physical contact' with their mother and felt very safe and loved.
I can also say I have watched several families get very focused on this 'problem' and their kids didn't fair so well.

I truly believe if the MAMA is healthly she really does know best . .. .

all the best,

R.

My daughter used to do that too when she was younger. She's 7yrs old now, and every once in a while I'll wake up to find her asleep in my bed:) Ocasionally my 5 yr old son can be found asleep in my bed when I wake up:) You know I tried with my daughter to put her back in bed. The more I thought about it. There only little for so long. I treasure these little moments, because I know some day when I'm old and grey it will be another sweet memory to smile about:) Sometimes I think we get to into other things to trully appreciate the blessings that are put right under are noses. I'm not saying I don't understand, because I've woken up to some back aches before, lol:) It really does'nt last that long, they do grow out of it!

I was a single mom when my kids were young and this was a huge problem for me as well! It really takes a toll on you when you are not getting your rest, and that's on top of the stress of being a single parent! I read an article that said to put a baby gate across your doorway at night. Sounds kinda mean, but it draws a clear boundary. During the day, the gate was down and the kids could come in my room. I explained that at night my bed was my space, that we all needed to get our rest in our own beds. For a few nights I awoke to screaming kids at the gate, but I hung strong and took them back to their beds. It seriously took less than a week. After a month or so, I didn't need to put the gate up anymore. They had adjusted to sleeping in their beds and we were all happier for it. :0)

I have to agree with the other moms. Unless this is a big problem for you. Don't worry about it. I have 2 boys one who never had a problem sleeping alone. And our little guy (4yrs old) who wants to be with mom or dad. Not only does he get more sleep when he is with me. But I do as well. My husband is in the military and works nights. (when he is home) So it does not bother us. Everyone will have do's and don'ts but our doctor said "do what is best for you. Not anyone else."

I kind of agree with the other mom's on this one. When my daughter used to do this I made her a small bed on the floor next to me. The reason why I didn't want her to come into my bed was because I wouldn't realize that she was in there and I was scared to death to kick or step on her in my sleep. Plus...I sleep walk. So, I told her she needs to try to sleep in her bedroom as much as possible, unless she is scared. When I asked her why she was coming into my room she actually told me something I didn't know!! She said her room was colder then mine. So I gave her an extra blanket on her bed and a stuffed animal to sleep with and eventually she just stopped coming into my room. I would try asking her why she goes into your room, it may be something easily fixed! You may also try a night light if she is scared. If it doesn't bother you then I wouldn't worry about it, but keep in mind that it could turn into a very hard habit to break if you don't stop it soon. I have know people that still have their kids aged 12 or above coming into their rooms at night to sleep. You may not mind now, but will you mind then?

Find out why she keeps coming to your room? I have 2 boys 6 and 4 my 4 year old loves his room and has been sleeping there since he was about 1 but my 6 year old still will not, He was afraid of monsters in the closet ever since Monsters Inc. even though he knows they were good and afraid of people. We tried putting him on the sofa, making a bed on the living room floor, our floor and a few other ideas, it wasn't till my husband came home about a year ago with one of the old style roll away beds and put it in the living room, he loves it and sleeps through the night every night with only occasional trips to us when he has had a bad dream. So see if you can find out why and then you can hopefully find a solution, Good Luck!

Hi there,
I had this problem with my son~ even though I made sure he didn't sleep with us when he was a baby, he started coming into our room at about 4 yrs old. My pediatrician gave me the advice that you have gotten from another mom about the sticker chart, very good idea, you should definitley try that!

My husband and I are going through this now, as well and honestly - I love it when my 5-1/2 year old comes in. The only thing that bothers me is the disturbed sleep. I, unlike my sound-sleeping husband, tend to stay awake for a while making sure my son is comfy and back to sleep. It's funny, but he does it every so often and usually 2-3 days at a time, then he's fine. I so agree with many of the other women here - enjoy your time, as it goes so fast. I know I surely do.

L. W.

If her being in your bed isn't disrupting your sleep, then I wouldn't worry about it. But, if you're like me, when I get woken up in the middle of the night, it's very hard to get back to sleep, therefore, I eventually get sleep deprived. Here's what we have been doing for my 3 year old twins would get up in the middle of the night (sometimes more than once): every night for several months, we'd remind them as they went to sleep night, that if they don't come into mom and da's room until the sun comes up (including if they went potty, went right back into their beds) they would get a treat in the morning. This has worked wonders! The "treat" is actually one M&M. Can you imagine - 1M&M is all it takes! Sometimes, they'll ask for 2 M&Ms and I relent. Just give her an incentive not to come in and she'll do it...

I had the same problem. Finally we discovered that she really wanted her ears pierced. I told her she could get them peirced once she slept in her bed for 30 days in a row. I think it takes 2 weeks to form a habit so we weren't taking any chances. She did good, then slipped and came in and we had to start all over, but eventually she earned those ear rings and we get our bed all to ourselves again!! Good luck,

My seven year old still tries this. I have found the only way to break the habit is to take her back to bed, every time. When I do return her to her room (sometimes more than once per night) her attempts will stop in a night or two. It's not easy but it works.
If you can both sleep well when she comes into your room maybe it's not a problem. She can get some Mommy-snuggle-time and you can get some needed zzz's ;) Hope this helps.

Consistency. If it really bothers you either always take her back to bed or put a mat down on the floor next to your bed. That way she can sleep by you and not with you. If she isn't bothering you and you're both sleeping well, why not let her sleep with you? I know a lot of people frown on the family bed, but if it works for you and your daughter, why not? I cannot sleep with my boys (we have a queen sized bed). We don't all fit in my bed! Good luck.