How Do I Wean My 11 Month Old?

Updated on March 17, 2008
T.D. asks from Orangevale, CA
27 answers

I need to know how to wean my 11 month old son. When I come home from work, he cries for me to breastfeed him. If I hold him, he puts his face near my breasts. I am so exhausted from work. If I don't feed him right away, I have slight discomfort from my full breasts. How do I ease the pain when I no longer wish to breastfeed? One more question...what is the average time frame that lactation ceases?

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R.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I hope you still try. My son is 16 months and will only breastfeed. The longer you can breastfeed the better for him. I went back to work when my son was 2 months old. I know how trying it is, I teach kinders all day and then go home to him. Sit in a rocking chair if you can and just be with him. There is only have a short time in his life that you can do this and have this bonding with him. It's good emotionally and well as health wise for both of you.
Keep trying. You both deserve this special time together.

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

You may want to try getting a breast pump so that you will have some, for those days when you are so tired that you do not want to breatfeed with him attached. When you do that though, you will have to get him used to the bottle instead of the breast. If you decide to try pumping, there is the concern with how easily he will take to the bottle versus the breast.

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I guess it depends on how often you're feeding him. The book that I read recommended dropping one feeding a week, giving the baby a bottle rather than the breast. After you've dropped all feedings the milk usually dries up in about a week. I had a lot of pain and engorgement because I tried to drop two feedings at once, which was a really bad idea. I definitely should have done one at a time.

Hope this helps.

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B.K.

answers from Fresno on

I found it to be easier to wean my daughter after she turned one so I never had to introduce formula. I had a hard time weaning both of my kids ~ I went cold turkey with my son and I slowly weaned my daughter. I think the slowly weaning worked the best. Your baby probably really enjoys the time he gets to just lay with you and nurse ~ but I totally understand ~ when your are done breastfeeding you just want to be done!!! I would try shortening the time you allow him to nurse by a few minutes each time and then just stop but still spend that quality time with him, whether it is cuddling or playing. Also do not apply heat to your breast because it will further increase your breast supply ~ use ice, I would get frozen bags of veggies and apply them to my breast and that help dry my breast up really fast. Good luck!!!

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S.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Do you feel he is nursing more for comfort at this point than actual hunger? What does he live off of while you are at work? Are you able to pump while at work during your lunch break so you won't be so full when you get home?

When are are ready to stop nursing, I suggest stopping over a weekend or some other time you will have at least a cople of days off. Here's the trick. Buy a head of Green CABBAGE. I kid you not. Place a leaf or two over each breast and keep it there. There will be some achiness / soreness as the milk dries up. Try a warm heating pad and motrin. After 24 - 48 hours, yor milk will be dried up as long as you don't give in to nursing the baby - (ESPECIALLY don't nurse if you have taken Motrin /Ibuprofen). An enzyme in the cabbage drys up the milk. The infant won't like that you aren't letting him nurse but will get over it after a few days.

I learned this from my lactation nurse at the hospital around the time I birthed my daughter. I nursed for 18 months before stopping. At that point my daughter was only nursing in the early a.m. and just before bed and it was more for comfort than out of hunger. She was eating and drinking normal foods / rice milk & water throughout the day. So while she was frustrated when I wouldn't allow her to nurse and fussed the first day or two, I just gave her lots of nurturing and attention. She soon learned that she would be held, rocked, and loved on even if she didn't nurse - and as far as hunger, she was well on her way exploring the world of solid foods.

Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It is recommended you breast feed until the age of two at a minnimum. The benifits your child will receive from breastfeeding are endless. I think you should continue to breastfeed. You can pump at work to relieve the pain.

I know it is time consuming and difficult to deal with at times but try to hang in there.

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E.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I cut out one feeding at a time. First, I cradled and spoke to my son for a few minutes. I told him I loved him very much, but he was growing up and becoming a big boy. He didn't need mama's milk so much anymore. Then I cut out the nursing session. He was really cranky the first few days, but then he got used to it. I would wait until things stabilized and then do the same thing for the next feeding. I started with the ones at the end of the day, because those were the ones with the least amount of milk. I hand expressed to relieve the pressure, but even then I only got out a very little bit. Maybe 0.5oz? It would take a few days. Seemed like my son got used to not nursing faster than my breasts!

I really think communicating and explaining helped him out. The first nursing that I cut out, I didn't talk to him until day 2, and he was MUCH calmer than day 1. Day 1, I basically had to hold him for about 3 hours straight. He wouldn't let me put him down, he was so clingy!

You can try giving him a bottle of pumped milk to ease the transition a little?

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Obviously you have to do what works for you and you should wean if either you or baby wants to, especially if it is making you feel resentful. I nursed my daughter until she was 3.5 and to me, after being at work all day, a nice bonding nursing session with your baby when you get home sounds wonderful. When you stop nursing, your milk will dry up but there may be some discomfort until then. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding has a chapter in it called Weaning with Love. When you get home, you can hold him and offer a sippy cup or small meal instead, sing a song and try to find other ways to bond etc. Good luck to you both!

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T.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My first instinct is to encourage you to continue but I won't go there. You have nursed for 11 months, that's awesome!

How often are you breastfeeding him? I would say just slowly cut back on the feedings.

If you go cold turkey (which I would never recommend) remember that when you wean your baby you are also weaning yourself/breasts. Hand express everyday (the shower is a great place to do it) just enough to alleviate the fullness.. each day a little less, and so on... does that make sense? I can't tell you how long it will take, it depends on how often/much he was nursing.

I wish I had some advice on how to deal with your baby who still wants to nurse, just keep in mind that this could be a tough transition for him, but in time it will pass. I always say that when I weaned my son it was the hardest two weeks of my life.

Good Luck and Good Job!

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D.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I feel your pain...I breast fed my youngest son til he 13 months and slowly cut out all but two feedings. I then was gone for 7 days (cold turkey) from him on a business trip. My breast were hard as rocks the entire time I was away. When I returned I thought he would have forgotten and adjusted...however, he would cry and point at my chest and say...THIS! THIS! I wanted to put him on right away...however, with a few tears, on my part and his, and picking up the phone to my friend for support I got through it. My advice to you is I would distract him as quickly as possible...even lean to your husband to jump in. Find a new snack that he really likes and make it a big deal. It took me about three hard days but we made it through. Hang in there. As for the pain...warm wash clothes will help you. You can do it. One thing to say...all the advice in the world is great...but you know your son and your relationship best. Go with what works and love every minute of closeness.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm just answering on the average time frame that lactation ceases part of your question b/c I, myself, am struggling w/ weaning and my son is over 2... My doctor told me that as long as you empty each breast 3 times a day, you will always produce milk. So I'd imagine that if you consistently nurse less than that, that your milk will eventually (and maybe even quickly depending on how much you are nursing now) dry up. We are currently on a nursing schedule (only before nap and bed and when we wake up in the morning before getting out of bed) and now we are working on dropping a scheduled nurse. We were at 4 nursings last month. Now were at 3 and next month we'll be at 2 and probably done soon after b/c my milk will dry up. It's been rough but it's slowly working. I know my child will not be coming home from High School for "boo" breaks, but sometimes it does feel like he'll never stop if I let him lead the weaning. Good luck! And don't worry, it'll all work out.

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C.W.

answers from Sacramento on

To minimize discomfort, work on eliminating only one feeding at a time. If you just let him nurse on one breast each day (alternating breasts), then your milk supply will decrease. Feel free to express a little milk in the shower to relieve your discomfort.

Replace the nursing with a snuggly book reading. Avoid the "nursing chair" -- try sitting on a bed. If he still wants to nurse, try walking around with him in your arms.

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K.J.

answers from San Francisco on

You can take a decongestant to help dry up your milk supply but really it comes down to supply and demand. Try telling your child that he can nurse one time when you come home from work and that's it. It is his way of bonding with you after you've been gone all day. Slowly your milk supply will diminish and he won't want to anymore. Plus, doing it slowly over a few months of time won't be as painful. Try turning the nursing time into a relaxation time for you too. Lay down and watch 30 mins of television or read a book while you nurse or just do some stress relieving techniques. This is a special time for your son and it will go away soon, don't rush it. Good luck.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

First question - do you really want to wean him? You don't have to, you know. If you choose to feed him only this one time every day, your body will adapt to that one feeding.

But since you've said you want to wean him, I had good success with cutting back one feeding every week. Over the course of a month or more, I was able to get down to only 1 or 2 feedings/day. The last feedings to go are the ones that are the most difficult for the child to give up. For my kids, that was the feeding right before bed at night. I had my husband or my mom or someone else hold them then. Try holding your son in a completely different position and giving him a bottle or cup instead. My kids liked having their backs against my chest.

It takes a while for the milk to completely stop. Take Tylenol to ease the pain or express by hand (just a little bit!) to relieve the pressure or use cabbage leaves in your bra as ice pads. One friend who had to stop nursing a newborn completely very suddenly was told to take Sudafed to help dry up her milk. Don't be surprised if you still have some milk a month or more after you've quit nursing.

Hope that helps!

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K.J.

answers from Sacramento on

You can sleep and breast feed at the same time, your milk supply will never go away until you stop breastfeeding, give him a bottle with breast milk, to try to help wean. Then supplement the breast milk when he's ready. Best of luck.

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M.R.

answers from Redding on

i'm not sure on weaning techniques, but i will tell you that cabbage leaves do wonders for cutting milk production. you take fresh leaves and place them inside your bra. sounds weird, but it will dramatically slow production.

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I breast fed my daughter until she was 13 months old. The weening process was not that difficult. I began transitioning her to whole milk during the day and stopped pumping. Initially, I experienced the discomfort of full breast, but this should subside relatively quickyl given that your son, I am sure is eating table food and this naturally decreases the amount of milk. In addition, I told my daughter no when she went to the breast. The emotional pain was more difficult than the discomfort I felt due to having full breast, but it was time. After a few days, she understood that I no longer had milk for her. She would occasionally reach for them with her hands or even her mouth, but by gently reinforcing to her that mommy no longer had milk, she got the message.

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T.S.

answers from Salinas on

To ease the pain wear a sports bra 24/7. If it gets really bad like how I was the doctor recommended emptying some of my milk while taking a bath. I had to wean my daughter cold turkey when I went on a 3 day trip at 14 months. When I came back she didn't even remember the breastfeeding. Good luck.

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P.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

hi I had a simualer problem i used Lansinoh brand lanolin for brestfeeding mothers soothes,heals &protectsdry, cracked skin. i'd put it on after he ate when i brestfeed my stephen, also i took warm baths, n put some of my milk in a bottle, to get him off of me n on the bottle n slowly on real milk. it took a bout a mounth but it worked.. now he's 2 n drinks out of his sippiys, n likes the choclete milk....but the lotion helped me alot! i dont know what i would have done with out it!

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P.U.

answers from Sacramento on

i know i should let u decide when to wean but most ladies who work full time and such like your story tend to feed 1 or 2 times at nights til he finally weans on his own. its very healthy for his well being, emotional n physical. it doesnt hurt for u to bf at nights. before he grows so fast, u ll cherish this special time togs. i am a first time mom n working full time too but many people and books i ve read suggested to bf as long as possible. ohh and... u dont have to pump or anything during the day because the supply n demand is at nights only so u wont make milk during the day. its really a miracle.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm just wondering why you would want to wean him when you don't have to? He still needs that bonding and reassurance especially since you are gone from him all day long. He is a baby and still needs his mom there with him full time. Being too tired from work to feed the baby is sad in my opinion. I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way. Maybe since he spends all day without a mommy it would be better to continue to nurse him.

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It took only a day of discomfort and lactation to cease for me as I was feeding my 13 month old only once a day. Also, you've got to be firm and let him cry. The first day he cried for about half an hour. The second day, when he was crying, I thrust a bottle in his mouth and he drank it. Hope this helps!

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A.U.

answers from San Francisco on

Let him breastfeed! If he's crying for you to nurse him as soon as you get home, it's because he's looking for some bonding with you from missing you all day. He won't do it forever, so enjoy his need for attention while it lasts. Pour yourself a glass of iced tea, sink into the couch and just relax while your son nurses. It will help you both feel better.

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L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

With my daughter I replaced one feeding with a bottle. I always admire mom's who are able to continue breast feeding once they return to work. I started weaning once I returned to work, which was 3 months and she was completely weaned by 5 months.

I fully understand the need and desire to want to wean your son. Try holding him and replacing your breasts with a bottle, I would assert that once you begin doing that it will be easier to completely wean with solid foods at the table.
Good luck,
L.

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C.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I understand being exhausted after work but this may be how your child feels close to you after you being gone. I am an OB nurse and was a working mom. Try to remember that these times don't last long and the time you spend nursing him is priceless and provides so much more than nutrition. If he is, in fact, being emotionally fed by this, he might find another less possitive way to feel connected. Lactation ceases when you stop breastfeeding. My experience has been that most children eventually begin to lose interest but if not, you can set a time to wean. He is still little.

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M.H.

answers from Fresno on

Well, I have to first comment you on breastfeeding, while working full time!! W T G ! ! !

As for weaning, there are many ways to do it, I chose the gradual approach, cutting out one feeding at a time, Starting with the least important, like early morning, or 'snacks'. Once I had my child down to one and nap, and one before bed, then I picked one and watched the fight ensue. I just offered a sippy, and held them, and reassured them that I loved them while they yelled NA NA (yeah, that means bfing). It's not easy, but it worked, It took a little while, partially because my kids were 17 and 18 mo when I did it, and quite persistent, but slowly dropping the feedings eliminating any discomfort on my end as well. I would have to say that AFTER my kids were weaned I still could express milk for a few months, but, I never had any engorgement pain!

Good luck! And if they hurt, a hot compress always helps, but be watching for red, sore spots and fevers b/c you can develop Mastitis (a clogged milk duct). Which is no fun. but easily taken care of.

Good luck!!

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, T.. Congratulations on making it 11 months! Especially with working full time.

I think the average in this country is around six months. The American Pediatrics Academy recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months (no solid food; only breast milk), then continued breastfeeding until one year. The WHO recommendation is two years. I breastfed my daughter until almost three years.

It's different for everyone. The weaning process took about two weeks for us to be completely finished. I would recommend waiting until one year to wean, as it's safe for your child to consume soy or cow's milk at that age. If you weaned now, you may need to use formula, which has it's own issues with impurities and digestion.

Good luck!

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