How Do You Deal with the WHINING?

I made my house a "no whine zone". When my son started whining I told him he had to go outside to do it. He could come back in when he was ready to talk instead of whine. Since it's no fun to whine outside alone, he stopped. Breaking the whining habit at home caused him to not whine when we were away from home too.

If you cannot send her outside alone then designate a room as the "whine room". Not her room though because that has things to play with. Pick a room that is not fun like the laundry room. When she whines tell her to go in that room. She can come back when she's ready to talk.

My kids get one warning to stop whining before I ignore them completely. They pretty much stop immediately (newly minted 4yo is a little more stubborn) 6 yo knows right away! it's all in the "training"!LOL
good luck
PS - ear plugs work wonders for mommies all over the world!

My ears can't understand whining children. Lol. I used to tell them that and ask them to repeat what they said in a big girl voice so I could understand them. If they continued to whine I would tell them to go into the dining room to pull themselves together and then when they did they could come back and use the big girl voice to tell me what they want/ need.
I agree you need to nip this in the bud. If your own kids get on your nerves due to whining imagine how annoyed a teacher would be. You can stop this behavior.

I couldn't agree more with J C. The more you respond to whinning the more it will continue. Something simple like my ears just can't understand whinning along with a very confused face and ask her to try again using her big girl voice will go far. Take the anger out of it and sending her away (to her room) for whinning may not make her understand how to really behave. When she does use her big girl voice look so relieved that you can finally understand her along with a thank you could make a really big difference. If this still isn't working you can walk away from her. Punishment doesn't always have to be sending her away. Removing something that she really wants (your attention) can be a very powerful motivatior.

The Love and Logic energy drain could possibly also work. You would say to her when she starts whinning. "uh-oh, your whinning makes me soo tired. Can you help put my energy back?" Then you look very tired and exahusted, have her do some chores (pick up toys, make her bed, etc) to help put your energy back. As she completes the different tasks you look more and more revived. When she's finished you thank her for helping and then ask what it was that she wanted. If she goes back to whinning you start all over again. Make sure you keep it fun like a game. She'll figure out that whinning doesn't really get her what she wants but instead makes her have to do chores. If you're more interested in this check out the book by Jim and Charles Fay Love and Logic Birth-6yrs. It has changed my life. It really does make parenting so much more simple and keeps everything so much fun. I can't say enough good things about it!

If my daughter continues to whine after I tell her she's doing it, I tell her that when she's ready to use her normal voice, she can come back and ask me. I can't understand her when she whines (or cries or yells...). We have taught her to "take a breath" to calm down to start again. Usually it works. And I find *myself* taking a breath to be calm and not yell or snap at her, either.

If getting down to her level and talking calmly doesn't produce a clear answer, then I tell her I can't understand and to come back when she's ready to use a voice I can understand. If it's the words I can't understand (and the frustration building from not being understood), I ask her to describe it for me. Sometimes I can stave off whining if I can get her to say that what she wants is round and purple. Oh, the princess ball!

I also try to acknowledge when she's tired or hungry. "I think you are tired. It's been a long day, huh? Can you take just a minute to stop whining so we can work on this together?"

Nothing is 100% but that's what I try.

"I do not understand whining,"

"Please use your regular voice."

"Go to your room and look for your regular voice."

"Big girls use a regular voice. "

When our daughter was this age, our neighborhood was filled with 3 and 4 year old little girls.. It was awful listening to those whines. The dads almost went insane..

We ALL used the above responses. EVERYTIME. No whine request was ever responded with anything but the above lines, or rewarded. It did seem like forever for them to get passed it, but at least we knew we where not alone.

Sometimes, we as parents would all start whining.. It was funny to watch the dads mimick the whining..

When I'm tired or not in a good mood, I don't deal with it that well. I try to very calmly say, "I'm sorry, but Mommy doesn't understand you when you sound like that. Say it nicely, and maybe I'll understand." It really does work!

If the 'please use your words' doesn't work then I will just walk away and usually within 2 minutes it stops and I will get 'nice words'. Thats what works for us

I have a 4 year old son and he whines too! i think it's the age or something. but what works for us is to tell him that we can't understand him when he whines and to use words. if that doesn't work, i walk away and tell him to come and find me when he can use his words. if that still doesn't work, then he goes into time out or to his room. that usually works.

What has REALLY been working lately for us (and i have no idea how i came up with this) but when he whines he is usually mad or frustrated or something. so i ask him (in a really happy way) "what happened to your happy attitude? did we leave it somewhere?" usually he stops and thinks about it and we make a game out of it to "look for it". when he finds it he screams "here it is! it was in the xxx(fill in the blank)." usually he thinks it got stuck in the air filter or it was getting clean in the washing machine! lol...how he comes up with these things i have no idea!

but long story short, try making a game out of it. it surprisingly works to be silly sometimes!

in our house, if a child is whining or throwing a fit, they go to their rooms until they are finished. this shows them they are allowed to feel that way, but it has to happen in private. if the 3 year old whines, we tell him to go to his room until he can use his big boy voice. because he is constantly whining... i'm so tired of it normally... but i can't complain i only deal with it every other weekend... but still... my daughter doesn't whine as often but she normally throws fits... and she gets sent to her room for them.

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Oh my goodness this is my daughter. She started whining at 3. She is 4 and still whines and I don't see an end in sight. When she whines I wont let her have whatever it is she is whining about. I made her go to her room, turn cartoons off or go in timeout. I can't take it either. I will be watching this to see what other Mom's solutions are. I hope they will grow out of it soon for both or our sakes.

My 2 year old niece does this and it drives me nuts! She doesn't just whine though, she starts out whining and it turns into a full on tantrum where she throws herself on the floor and kicks around. I lucked out and my 9 month old son is not like this BUT he's seeing his cousin doing it and he tries it, but we stop that very quickly. When he starts I just start laughing or dancing. I do anything to distract him and make him laugh so he forgets about wha the was whining about.

We knew how this would escalate watching friend's kids. NAILS ON CHALKBOARD AAAAGGGH. I's actually something almost ALL kids do if you let them, and it's REALLY hard to break the habit, so we treated it firmly with one warning, then a firm consequence every time from the get go like anything else we didnt' want to escalate. To me it's just as bad as tantrums, because it can be so chroooonic. Once they "got it" just the warning would make them stop.

Last summer, my son was 2 1/2, and he had pretty much nipped the whining, but it was a heat wave, and he was hungry, and I was in the middle of something, so he started to whine, and I calmly warned him "no whining" and he laid down on the floor to do the "whimper" (low volume whining) so I said, "Oh, I do declare, I think I hear a customer trying to order up a smackeroni and cheese" and he got up and ran in the other room laughing.
Just be firm and don't let it continue. She'll learn to control it.

What do you mean it doesn't work when you tell her not to whine?

We have a strict no whine policy in this house, and if my just turned 3 year old can't use her normal voice, she goes to her run until she can.

You put a stop to it by not allowing it. So no more whining. Let her get mad. Let her scream.

Earplugs and a glass of wine : )