How to Be a Stay at Home Mom

Updated on April 28, 2008
K.C. asks from Denver, CO
13 answers

I have a 1 year old daughter (14 months to be exact) and we are having another baby in September! I REALLY want to be a stay at home mom. I was so heartbroken when I counldn't after Morgan was born, and now that we will have two, I have to work something out. I want to know how other SAHM's do it. What do your husbands do? Do you work from home? If you work from home, what companies are willing to let you do that and does anyone know of any? Please help! And any words of wisdom of having 2 under 2 would be very much appreciated!

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L.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi! Our first two children are 18 months apart! I was so worried about how it would go, but my oldest adjusted great! Being a sahm is wonderful, although can be draining, so be prepared for that. (I stay home with 3 children ages 4,3,1). My husband travels for his job a lot. I try to do fun things with them (park, picnic, library etc). Also, kids need routine. Regular naps, quiet book time, play time etc. Congrats on your baby to come! How exciting!

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi, K.! Here's how I do it: I am an Independent Consultant with Arbonne. The start up is LOW (as little as $29) and I absolutely love the products. I couldn't do it if I didn't believe in the products and the company 100%! It has allowed me to be home when my daughter is home, and to be at all of her dance competitions. I would love to show you how to build your own successful Arbonne business. I want to teach and train you to live your best life, with your baby(or babies;)) right at your side!! You can find out more at www.jprestwich.myarbonne.com

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K.J.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.!
Congratulations! I am a new SAHM as well! It is hard at first, but gets easier! The biggest thing we learned was BUDGET your money! It is possible to live comfortably, it just takes planning. I would recommend reading "The Total Money Makeover Workbook" by Dave Ramsey. It showed us how to do more and save more with less money. Just so you know you don't have to sacrifice quality, I still get the same brands I always did before- I just budget it better. We don't travel as much as we used to or buy brand new cars anymore, but it has been worth every penny! Also, I joined a SAHM group to get out of the house and socialize. It made a world of difference! Check out www.momsclub.org for your local chapter, it is designed for SAHMs and is wonderful! I hope this helps! Just so you know it was the best decision we have ever made!
Best of luck! K.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hey,
I remembered I had read this story about call centers moving to telecommuting.
http://www.usatoday.com/money/jobcenter/2005-07-19-call-c...
That might be one idea. You'll have to do it after the children are asleep.

I work from home since we moved and my boss let me take my job to a different city. But, it is hard to work from home with your kids. Are you able to be on the computer without your DD bugging you? Can she occupy herself for 15/ 30 min at a time? At least for me, when my son was 14 mon, he needed attention and I felt guilty putting on Baby Einstein more than once. At 14 mon, that's about the time that I had to hire a nanny and I was only working part time.

Not to be pessimistic, but just a reality check.

Also, if you are up for it, you could babysit another child in your home. He/she could be a playmate for your DD.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

Best of luck on staying home! I agree with most everyone else- you can go very far with budgeting. The library has the most amazing free programs and events, so always check there. As far as working from home, networking can help you there. There are great opportunities to work from home, but also many scams. From my experience, I think the more desperately someone wants to believe something, the more likely they are to be victims. Don't rationalize something just because you want it a lot. You should never have to pay out of pocket to start working from home (other than Mary Kay). I've just noticed my friends who really want to work at home are so much more likely to believe something that is too good to be true!

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L.P.

answers from Denver on

HI K.

Well I made the transition to a SAHM last May and have been home almost a year now. It takes some adjusting if you have always worked but I wouldn't trade it for anything. What we did to lessen the blow of only one income was we started putting my checks away in the savings acct and saving them for when I quit. So start living like you only have one paycheck now and make a nice nest egg. Also I started my own stay at home business selling Silpada Designs Jewelry www.mysilpada.com/L..pizzo I started that 4 months before quitting to make sure I could do it and make the income they said I could make and I did. So I quit in May making what I was making at my 40 hour a week job because I no longer had daycare to pay for and I only work about 20 hours a month. I also love Silpada because I still get out and go to work and meet people and still contribute to the income. Plus I sometimes babysit. Im sure once people find out you are staying home kids will come out of the wood work you can always do that to supplement some income until you work your budget out. I would also use the extra tax refund to put in the bank so that you can supplement income once you are done. But ultimately just remember God is in control and everything always works out. The joys and gifts you will be giving your children by staying home will outweigh some money hardships because we are not put on the planet to gather treasures we can not take with us but to give back and what a better way to do Gods work then raising your children right and instilling character that is lacking in many others. Hope that helps a bit. Please check out my website and email me if you would like some more info on getting paid to party.

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

Everything below is good advice. Start living on one income now (except for child care) and then you'll know if it'll work. For us, it was the health insurance that kept me working so long. My husband has group but we have to pay 100% of the cost..took us a while to figure out how to pay for that.
Don't rule out working. Consider part-time. You don't know or won't get it unless you ask. I'm working 10 hours per week (more as projects need it). It requires some creativity on child care and my husband has a completely flexible schedule so that helps.
For cost savings....drive your cars 'til they drop. Shop secondhand and garage sales. This does not mean sacrificing in quality. I've bought jeans (for me) at Goodwill w/ the tags still on - they're $6-8 unless its dollar Saturday, when they are, yes, a dollar. quite a savings from $25 plus at Kohls or elsewhere. I've also found ann taylor and others hardly worn at Goodwill. Also check out end of season sales - I rarely pay more than $4 for any kids clothes, brand new, from the original store. I do buy for the next season , so there's always a couple that don't fit but I still save 50% plus overall.
Once I was at home more, I started cooking more and relying on processed foods less. So, we started eating much healthier at less cost simply because I was home to stick that brown rice on the stove an hour before dinner instead of trying to get something done in 15 minutes. (one bag rice is about $2 while minute rice for 1/2 the amount is about $2.50).
We eat out less, but that is a time issue rather than a sacrifice - again, once you're home you're not pressed or too tired to get dinner on the table.
And most of our entertainment is free (other than the memberships at the zoo, art museum, and nature and science). my favorite website to find free/low cost fun and/or educational is denver365.org
we do the library a lot for their programs and for everybody's reading material - kids and adults.
Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Boise on

I intended to go back to work and was granted some additional leave for a total of 4 months, but I couldn't go back! The company, CH2MHILL, is pro-telecommuting and we actually had a telecommuter in my small group, a dad, that worked exclusively from home full-time doing contract work. Unfortunately, he lobbied hard for this privilege under the previous manager, but the manager while I was working there would have been a harder sell. If you do want to continue working, I would suggest you check out Working Mother magazine. I subscribed and it has great hints and also a list of 100 mom-friendly companies.
http://workingmother.com/?service=vpage/109

As for staying home, my husband is in sales and we figured we could just get by with not many extras and using any comissions to cover any small monthly deficits instead of extra, fun money or put it in savings. He also is provided with a nice company car, so we only have one car payment and I've been driving so little that we are actually going to downgrade mine soon so we can pay it off. We had zero credit card debt so we don't have to worry about that. I was a total clotheshorse while I was working and now I realized how much more I could have put away even in just the few months before my daughter was born. So I've sold off a ton of stuff on ebay and just kept the essentials in case I returned back to work. We also buy things on ebay & craigslist, watch for items on freecycle.org, and use coupons. We try to eat at home or for cheap - Costco is our ideal lunch spot now, ha!
Good luck with whatever choice you make!

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J.R.

answers from Denver on

K.,

Can your family live comfortably on your husband's salary - pay for rent/mortgage, car payments, gas, food, health insurance, utilities etc?

You didn't say what you currently do to see if it is transferrable to working at home.

I was a teacher and we realized it wasn't worth having me work. Once my boys were a little older I taught myself QuickBooks and some basic accounting in order to be a book keeper. I also found other small jobs I could do at home by looking on Craig's List. Eventually I had gathered a bunch of clients for a variety of computer based projects.

You could also try medical coding.
Good Luck!

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

Kendall,

I am a say at home mom of my 22 month old daughter, and I feel so blessed to be able to do that. The important things are 1. Get on a budget, and start saving money for an emergency fund. This is so necessary on one income, if something happens. 2. Cut out unnecessary expenses like new clothes, eating out, entertainment only rarely. 3. Get rid of as much debt as possible before baby #2 comes. Debt is a weight around your neck--get rid of it as quickly as possible. Consider downgrading a car or cars, to avoid a car payment. Stop adding new credit card debt, and pay off what you have by making more than the minimum payments. Get serious about debt. 4. Try living on one income starting NOW. Use your income to add to saving and pay down debt more quickly, and get used to budgeting on just your husband's income. 5. Try to think of something you can do part time or from home. I used to teach, and now I tutor one afternoon/evening a week. I have 5 or 6 students and charge $40/hour, so I bring home about $200 a week during the school year, and am still able to stay home with my daughter with a babysitter just one afternoon/evening a week. See if there is something like that you could do. I know a lot of moms that keep books or do taxes from home. Also, doing part time babysitting/day care for another family might be an option. It is totally doable if you are willing to make some sacrifices. You might even consider moving into a smaller house, if necessary. (Although in this real estate market, that might be hard.)

Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

I am a SAHM who works a couple evenings a week at a local department store. I really only do that because having kids is really hard and I needed some time to my self. I used to stay home with the kids with out working, but I as well have 2 under 2 and it is very tough to handle some days, especially because I don't have any family in the area (not even inlaws).

Here are some things you need to cosider...how much is day care going to cost you with 2 kids. I live in the Denver area and I was looking at minimum of $9/hour...40 hours/week (that's almost $1500/month, that's more than my mortgage payment). Can you afford daycare...if not you might be forced to stay home. Can you afford to stop working? Do you make so much money after day care that if you stopped working today your family would be financially instable? How does your husband feel about you not working...would he feel put upon?

One thing I want you to seriously consider should you choose to do this is increasing your husband's life insurance. Our agent had us double ours...you need to make sure if he were to die suddenly you would be taken care of because you have been out of the workforce and it might be difficult to re-enter at a wage that would provide for your family.

The other thing I would suggest is finding a Moms group (I attend MOPS and I love it...www.mops.org).

Good Luck & God Bless!

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

First figure out how much it costs to work.
Child care
clothing for work
gas to and from work
Are you paying more out than taking in?
Also, ask at work if there are any work at home type jobs you could do. I always generated money some way at home and never could have made as much as I would have paid out in child care expenses.
You do need to be creative in staying home. Look at your stengths and what could you do at home to help pay the bills?
You might need to scarifice but your kids are worth it.
Good Luck,
C. B

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J.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

I am also a working mom that really wants to be able to stay at home. I have been talking with a trusted Christian friend that is an independent distributor for a nutritional supplement called Reliv. The head scientist for the company is the guy that created the formula Enfamil,and this is just one of the reasons why I think this company is credible. We haven't been able to get to a point where I can start as a distributor, but I can see this as a great opportunity to network with other moms and to be able to work and still keep family as my number on priority. If you are interested, I would recommend that you call Jim Parks at ###-###-####.

J.

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