How to Get Son to Sleep?

Updated on June 07, 2008
M.G. asks from Mesa, AZ
4 answers

My 11 year old daughter quit taking naps by age 2 but she didn't need them and could go all day and night w/o a melt down and go to bed w/o and problem. My son who is 6 always took naps and will still take a nap if he lays down long enough...he is very mellow and even if he takes a nap still goes to bed by 8:30 or he will pass out on the couch. My youngest which is 3 is driving me crazy. I cannot figure him out. He took naps very well up until about a couple months ago but things with him are getting harder. I realize children outgrow naps at different times but he needs a nap or by 3:00 you cannot reason with him and he is very out of control with crying and whining but if he falls asleep at that time he will either not go to bed till who knows when or he will be up at 2 AM. My other issue is I have an in home daycare and everyone sleeps at the same time... They lie down at noon...if he is up he will keep everyone up. I have tried everything to get him to lay down and it is like he fights sleep. I have tried having him lie on the couch to watch TV and just rest quietly but he will only lie there for maybe 5 minutes. Even right now as I am writing this (10:15 PM) he keeps getting out of his bed...most of the time he will play in his room but I can't go to bed because then who knows what kind of things he will get in to; plus his brother sleeps in there as well. I am exhausted and just want him to do as I say. The other thing I forgot to mention is if my husband puts him to bed he will stay there and go to sleep. I would have him put him to bed but he has to be up very early for work so he does go to bed much earlier than we do most nights and is not here during the day for nap time. What am I doing or not doing??? How can I get my son to sleep without a huge fight every time???

Thanks in advance,
M.

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A.C.

answers from Phoenix on

When he is to rest in front of the t.v. what do you allow him to watch? If he loves big trucks, the library has a good video section on dump trucks or fire trucks. If he likes elmo put on a video. Good luck.

T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi M.,
That you say he will stay in bed when you husband puts him down says a lot, I think.

He is getting some message from you that this behavior is somehow "okay" with you, and not Dad.

I find myself here too. I end up acting like a bird-watcher: I try to analytically watch my husband interact with our kids, and figure out what he's doing or saying that is making some "behavior" non-existant. Usually, it's something small, but makes a huge difference, and it usually works when I try it, too.

If it doesn't work, usually Dad has to "back me up" for a time, until the child gets the message.

Good luck!
T

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K.S.

answers from Las Cruces on

Hi M.,

Maybe if there were consequences during the day if he did not cooperate with you. Such as no cartoons, cannot participate with the other kids during craft, cannot play outside. I think if you tie something he likes to it as a consequence he might realize you mean business. Another idea I had was but a clock by his bed and if he is not alseep by the time the numbers look like "this" then he may get up and come get a drink of water or something. Stay up for 5 min and then try again. I'm not sure if the clock thing would work, my daughter responded well to the consequence method. Also maybe you could word the "nap" as resting time in his bed where he does not have to "sleep" but just quietly rest and read books, and then he might just fall asleep anyways. Sounds like it is a control thing. Good luck. :)

K.

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I saw your ad and I thought I would research and I found this that may help. So this was not written by me:

That can be a tough age for sleeping. If you want to teach kids to stay in their own rooms, there are several steps involved.

You want to make his room comfortable for him and make sure he has a bed that's the right size (bunk beds, for example, are best reserved for older kids). Sometimes glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling can also make a room more comfortable. Try giving him something to listen to during the night, such as a cassette tape of good stories (I like Jim Weiss' stories. I've used them for years) or quiet music (there's a reason that lullabies have developed in almost every culture) or perhaps even your own voice reading stories. The first few times kids listen to something new, it might keep them awake for a bit, but pretty soon the story is just interesting enough to keep them from getting bored or scared, and just familiar enough to let them drift off peacefully.

Another thing that might help is getting your child drowsy before bed with warm milk, a warm bath, or a consistent bedtime routine.

I'm a big fan of giving kids a card that is a free pass for one trip out of their room each night after bedtime. It must be a short trip--a hug, a glass of water, or just a chance to see you--and when they have surrendered their card, if they come to you again that night, they are walked back without a word and without eye contact. This knowledge that they can see their parents if they need to and will be warmly greeted helps kids to relax. After trying out the card for several nights, most kids will hold on to it (in case they need it later) and fall asleep.

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