How to Wean a Breastfed Baby

Updated on July 07, 2009
P.S. asks from Valley Village, CA
14 answers

Hi Mama's,
So I'd like advice/ideas/personal experiences as to how to wean mu baby boy. I am not ready, nor is he ready to wean at this time, but in the next few months I'd like to work towards that. He is 13mo now and nurses primarily in the morning when he wakes, 2-3xs during the day for no more than 5 min per time and then at night before bed. He already seems to be weaning himself off the middle of the day nursing. He drinks about 12-16oz of organic cows milk a day and maybe 6oz of water a day(never took to the H2O until about 1 week ago). He eats 3 solid meals a day and 1-2 snacks, but loves his nursing time. So how does it work, do I slowly start giving him the bottle with cows milk in the morning and at night, do I pump and give breast milk in the bottle morning and night to get him off the idea of "the boob". Thanks in advance for your help/input.

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

P., I pumped for as long as possible so that he could have all the benefits of breast milk, but when I was with him I put a pillow over my breasts so he couldn't find them, and offered the bottle time and time again. I also tried to give him a pacifier and helped him find his thumb - that didn't work to well, but giving him new 'lovey' toys worked great! I tucked hippo and ducky in my bra and wore them for half a day and then kind of wrapped them around the bottle so there was a familiar odor about them.
Good luck!

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

Dear P.,

The WHO (World Health Organization) recommends 2 years of breastfeeding, as the toddlers get major benefits for their immune system from the second year nursing, and many other benefits. When my son got hurt on the playground as a toddler, or hit himself somewhere at home, nursing is the best way to console him!

Unless you are going back to work and are separated from your baby/toddler for many hours (but I do not see that in your message), there is definitely no need to make your child so unhappy and break his little heart by withholding his favorite together-time with you and his favorite food.

There is this wonderful book, Mothering your nursing toddler, which I really enjoyed reading, and which totally convinced me that not taking his nursing time and mother's milk away was the right thing to do!

Some of the suggestions I read here (going away without the baby for a whole week) sound cruel to me personally. I feel so sad for the poor baby that was suddenly totally abandoned by its mother who went away for a week...I cannot understand that. Sorry.

When it comes time later, I am letting my son decide how long he wants to nurse (child-led weaning). Right now, it would be too painful to take it away from him, and it continues to have so many benefits.

Please research child-led weaning, if you are close to your son. I wish you the best in the path you choose.

Loving more naturally,
C.
2-year-old Alexander still asks for mama milk (not as often as when he was under 2)

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The only way that I know of for weaning, with the less stress on Mom and baby, is the child self-weaning.
That is what I did. I was easier for me and my kids, and it just happened naturally.
My daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old and my son did so at about 1 year old.
I just 'nursed' when they asked, per my daughter because she nursed longer. For my son, I fed on demand... because he was still not quite 1 year old yet. And yes, after 1 year old both my kids were on organic whole milk as well. BUT, for my daughter, she still nursed... although not as frequently because as a child gets older, they naturally pace themselves differently.

I know each situation is different... but the more gradually it is done, the best, and in terms of your breasts/engorgement etc.

GRADUAL is the key. And he may surprise you and wean himself.
As the previous poster said, extended breastfeeding is recommended.

All the best,
Susan

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get him down to only nursing in the morning and before bed (don't offer during the day). Then you change your routine so daddy puts him to bed at night for like a week or so, so he doesn't look for that nursing time. If he can drink from a cup, don't go to the bottle at all. Try a sippy cup with him because he should be able to do it. He's old enough to skip the bottle stage. As for the morning feeding, change up your morning routine by going out...anywhere...like the park or something so that he isn't slowed down enough to be looking for it. We went on vacation and that's when my daughter stopped...enough of a change of routine. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you want to avoid 'typical' two year old behavior, let him self-wean. Also, only 60% of their immune system is dev. by 12m. Continue bf as long as you can. The Le Leche League site has many sources on weaning.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm on the self-weaning band wagon. My son self-weaned from the breast at just 16 mos. but, still had a bottle until he was about 18 months during the day. Our kiddos know what they need, and I'm also a fan of the Organic cows milk, but we do lactose free as my kiddo gets terrible gas from lactose milk.

Just follow your instincts and go with it.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,
I am sure you have gotten plenty of advice by now but I would like to say that it took me over a month to wean my baby off. I would take away one feeding at a time. Giving it about a week to two weeks in between. I started with the middle of the morning, then the mid-afternoon. Then I took off the early morning feeding. Last feeding to go for me was the bedtime feeding. That was because I loved breastfeeding my son and I had a hard time letting go of the final one. Hope this helps you out.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

you just keep doing it less and less..substituting w/ milk..sometimes i add almond chocolate milk to his milk..i stopped for a month when my son was 15 months..he seemed done..they just quit but then a month later he got sick and when i was comforting him he started nursing again..and i was glad b/c it was fall and he started to catch things..and i was on a mom site and everyone was complaining how it was so hard to get their little one down to sleep at night b/c they were ill..and i was getting my son to fall back asleep 20 minutes after he'd wake.
so it came in handy..i think it's good to go til they're 2..especially if you're thinking about weaning right when fall is about to happen.
but if you want to wean..just less and less..it is a good time around 15 months..so just start substituting some of his nursing time with sippy cups or a bottle but they can start getting addicted to the bottle..my son is over 3 now and he was demanding a bottle out of nowhere today..i told him that i threw them all out..and he went to the trash can to find them! i had to tell him "no no..i threw them out a long time ago!"

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd skip bottles and go straight to a sippy cup.

Phase out the day time feedings. it helps if you start on a weekend when your husband is home-so he can hold your son at times when he would normally nurse. and then when you just have morning and night feedings-choose one to get rid of 1st. i got rid of the am 1st, i'd get a cup of milk and give it to them while they were still in the crib, before I even got them out-better yet, if hubby can do that....good luck. (a friend of mine-stopped it all cold turkey, by going on vacation for a week, w/o the baby)

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C.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I had dad take him for night time for like a month, to get him to sleep without feeding through the night, then I told him mommy was going to stop next week, we counted down days, and I put bandaids on my nipples and kept them there, told him I had an owie.Good luck

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K.R.

answers from San Diego on

I transitioned to bottles around 9-10 months (for other reasons) and then to sippy cups at 11-15 months. Everything transitioned very smoothly. We switched one feeding session at a time, as in every few weeks make the switch at one of the feeding times. If he is already drinking cows milk, that will make things even easier... put cow milk in the cup and breastmilk in bottles--when bottles are done, then no more breastmilk either.

I personally wouldn't bother with pumping just to give him breastmilk in a bottle though--I would go straight to cows milk in the morning in a sippy cup. You can hold & cuddle him while he drinks it if that make both of you feel better about it. You can also try the silicone top sippys which are more similar to a bottle than the hard top sippys (use those after you wear the silicone ones out--then he'll be ready for the more sturdy tops anyway).

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A.A.

answers from San Diego on

I would say to start to eliminate the feedings during the day. One week go down to twice and then only once and then none. Keep the morning and night ones going and then gradually eliminate the one that is easier. That's how I did it and it worked out well. The last one I did was at night before he went to bed and then we went on vacation with him and that was where we stopped all together. He was preoccupied with other things and I had his Nana put him to bed at night. I've heard taking a trip or even a long weekend is a good way to be done with it all together, worked for us. My son was 18 months and did fine with it.

Good luck. As for us, we did not supplement milk for those feedings. He ate 3 main meals and snacks in between and drinks a ton of water. I would say a couple glasses of milk is fine for him but not more than he's drinking now.

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L.T.

answers from Reno on

My cousin who is a nurse said to lesson the time you actually do nurse on each breast and they will start to produce less milk. I've read in baby books to remove one feeding at a time over the course of a few weeks, many babies will stick to 1 favorite time and I think that is fine to keep the bonding going. I nursed both of my kids until they were 2 and 3/4, most people gasp at that, as I did before I had my own, but they are both well adjusted little individuals and I wouldn't change a thing for anyone! The lactation nurse at my hospital says they are finding more evidence of good things in milk for toddlers (like less alergies) and for mothers who nurse... bottom line do what you "feel" is best for you and your son and not what others feel you should do!

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V.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Start by not BF in the day, give him the bottle every time he reaches for you, over and over. there will be crying... Then after 2., weeks of only BF morning and night, switch to nights only. and within a week, stop with that too. i kept saying mama does not do that anymore and kept giving him the bottle. It really was not so bad, within a few days it was over and the baby was fine. Good luck

V.

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