I Need Help Getting My Baby to STAY Asleep at Night!

Updated on January 01, 2007
N.P. asks from Arlington, TX
11 answers

I have a 4 month old and an almost 3 year old. My oldest never had any trouble sleeping through the night so this is all new to us! Our 4 month old usually never sleeps longer than a 5 hour stretch STILL. Occasionally she has gone 7 hours or so but that is rare. On average, she wakes up at midnight and then is awake every 2-3 hours after that. I don't feed her in the night except around 2 or 3 a.m. I don't know how to make her stay asleep. She goes to bed just fine. She is swaddled and given a pacifier. Then I lay her down awake and she goes right to sleep. Once she wakes after her first long stretch, it is all over!

I have thought about crying it out but not sure how. Is she too young? Should I let her cry 5 minutes, soothe her. Then another 10 minutes, soothe again, etc.? Or should I just let her cry until she eventually falls asleep? I can tell you that I will have a really hard time doing that even though I am desperate for sleep! Please help! Any advice on how to help her sleep longer stretches and STAY asleep would be appreciated!

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Contact Kay Willis RN, Parenting Educator at THE NESTING PLACE in Grapevine at###-###-#### or ____@____.com is wonderful and AMAZING with babies when it comes to things like that! (Plus she has a fabulous store with nifty items for infants/toddlers that you can't find anywhere else!) She will probably have some good advise for you. The other option is a consult via phone with the SLEEP LADY (aka: Kim West) ###-###-#### or ____@____.com best to you! And know that "this too shall pass." ;o)

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

What the other post said, babies aren't emotionally ready to cry it out until they are around 8 months old. What you said about soothing her after 5 then 10 minutes of crying is exactly right. Just don't pick her up when you soothe her. Rub her tummy. Also put her to bed before she is totally asleep. Many people put their babies to bed once they are fast asleep. At this age however, babies wake often throughout the night and if they wake in different surroundings it startles/scares them. If she is drowsy and you put her down, she will feel safe in her bed when she is sleeping lightly. Also, if she has any naps later in the day, you may want to shorten them or cut one out altogether. Help create a soothing enviroment an hour or so before it's bedtime, otherwise she may get wriled up.
One more thing... babies around this age (and 5-6 months) start to hit more milestones in their self discovery and awareness. They usually start to wake more during the night b/c they are anxious about learning, but they easily become frustrated. This will pass shortly. If you haven't moved her into her own room yet, I would advise to do it now. Babies sleep lightly and are often awoken by their parents being too close (b/c of noises or simply the fact she can sense you). Hope any of this information helps.

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.,
My son had MAJOR sleep issues until he was over 2 years old. I read many books on the subject and the one that I really liked the best and got him sleeping was "Good Night, Sleep Tight" The book is broken down into ages and I wish I would have started when he was 4 mos. old instead of two years. I would have gained a year and a half of sleep. The sleep method used is NOT cry it out--which I could not do. That book changed our lives. Good luck

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

N.,
Dr Harvey Karp says that many babies need to continue to be swaddled until almost 8months old to help them stay asleep. We all know how hard that is with a regular blanket. Sometimes they even get out and get the blanket around the face. Have you tried the Miracle Blanket? It makes it easy while preventing the blanket from riding up with a patented design. I have shared this with lots of local moms and have more testimonials than I can print regarding how helpful the Miracle Blanket is to them. Sleep is a priceless commodity for both you and your child. I hope this is helpful.
K.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter did the same thing around this age, she would wake up multiple times during the night (She slept in a cradle next to my side of the bed due to she had a apnea/cardiac moniter she had to wear at night and I could not have her in bed with us due to all the wires until the moniter was discontinued at 6 months of age). You did not say if you were nursing or formula feeding. If nursing, breastmilk digest within 2-3 hours, so chances are, she might be hungry. What worked for our family is co-sleeping (after the moniter came off). She still will wake up in the middle of the night, see me there in bed asleep, cuddle and go right back to sleep (she's now 14 months old). Before, when she still wanted to nurse at night, I would just roll over and let her have it, she would fall asleep when she was done nursing (and I would usually fall back asleep while she was nursing). I didn't have to get up, go into another room, turn lights on, etc., etc.....
I do not believe in crying it out, baby was with you continusly for 9 months in the womb, at only 4 months old, they still have that bond to mom and get scared when mom is away. Crying it Out just lets them know that mom is not going to be there when they are upset, when they are scared, possiably when they are hungry, etc.....I rather my daughter trust that I will always be there for her, no matter how tired I am. Just my 2 cents on that issue.

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A.O.

answers from Dallas on

When my second was born my oldest was 21 months and I would tell everyone that the newborn was sleeping through the night longer than my oldest; which was so true!! Very exhausting for me, but not too long after that my 2 year old FINALLY started sleeping through the night. We tried everything: feeding him solids right before bed, giving him ceral in his bottle, etc. He still sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night for something to drink.Sometimes its just something their body has to get use to and I really do not know what else to try with him although it has gotten better!! Good Luck!

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D.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, you might try putting her in the sunlight for a few minutes during the day, if she doesn't get much. I have heard that this can help regulate your internal clock, and it might help her to distinguish between naptime and nighttime. Hope this helps!

Merry Christmas!
D.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I know that it's really hard to do and most moms (myself included) are totally against letting their children cry it out. But, I will tell you with me it was tried and true. I didn't want to do it, but I was rocking my 4-month old (standing up) back to sleep after feeding and it was killing my back, so I finally bit the bullet and did it. It worked like a charm.

She would occasionally wake up in the middle of the night again, but usually cried no more than 3-5 minutes before soothing herself back to sleep again (when she didn't need to be fed any longer).

It's the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do, but I swear by it and I think it helps contribute to a very well-adjusted child when they're a bit older, too.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hello. My oldest did the same thing on and off for a while. It finally stopped around 6 months. I still think she was teething. When I gave her a little tylanol, she seemed to sleep a little better. Also, maybe cut her naps a little shorter, or cut out one of them towards the evening time if she takes one then. Good luck and know that it will pass eventually!

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 6 month old and she was waking up at night also. I spoke with my doctor and she said that at 4 months is when you can start feeding them baby food. Well once I did that my daughter stayed asleep all night until she woke up for her bottle in the morning!!!! Formula digest really quick so they stay full for less time but baby food takes longer!!!! This is what worked for me so maybe it will also help you!!!!

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

my 18 mo old still does not sleep through the night. NOTHING has worked (even LOTS of conistant crying it out) My son was the same, he did not sleep through the night until 2 years. I hate to tell you but if others' suggestions do not work, you may just have to accept it until their bodies are ready.

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