I snooped...have You??

I have wondered if my sister-in-law knows that it's me here on mamapedia!! This weekend she asked some very specific questions that made me think I've been "outed." So I feel kind of bad because months ago I said I thought having a birthday party for a one-year-old was silly, and that is her daughter. But then I think "You know what? I DO think it's silly, and I have a right to my opinion!" Anyway, it's kind of funny because I THINK she might "snoop" on me (in a lighthearted way) on this website and it makes me feel oh-so-slightly vulnerable. So if you're out there, Jen, reading this...you are BUSTED:)!!!

I would never let anyone that I know know that I was on here. I have never told anyone about this site. Last thing I need is for people I know to read my thoughts like that.

That is why I don't put my name on here or where I am really from. I would not want any friends or family reading things I post about them or even some personal things. I have wondered if there are people I know on here, but I don't think so..If there were I would definitely read EVERYTHING! I am nosey!

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I don't think that I personally know any of the other Mamapedia moms, but if I did, I would check out their posts. And I wouldn't call it snooping! LOL ~ it's a public forum - if she didn't want you to read it - she shouldn't have posted it on here!!

i hope no one i know ever joins this site. i vent here about stuff i would never say to anyone in my life. it's the raw unabridged truth. i'm not sure i could stand it if it hurt the people in my life.
i dont have time or energy to snoop on friends, but i have snooped on a significant other in the past and i always regret it. mainly because i have found things that hurt! the rub of it is, once you find something like that, there is no bringing it up to the other person without looking like a fool. So, he did something wtong, but I end up hurt and feeling foolish. so, i try not to snoop, just to avoid my own pain.

I don't think reading rants posted on a public website is snooping.
I am frequently surprised by the very personal things people post under their real names!

I don't think it's snooping if it was published on a public board.

I agree with Mum4ever. Use this as a way to see her side of it so that you can heal the relationship. That doesn't mean that you have to go back to being friends. It means that both of you can let go of the anger surrounding what was apparently a huge misunderstanding.

Just a comment about how some of the responses said you were "crazy" or "wrong."

I have noticed sometimes that there are responses like that. It does bother me, because the responders are taking the posted question at face value and not considering the possibility that there could be more to the story. I think it is so important to remember that there are many perspectives and that the poster might be upset or the situation just happened and the poster hasn't really had a chance to reflect or be objective.

Good to hear you're trying to just let it go and move forward. Not easy to do, but sure does make for a happier life :-)

The point of Mamapedia is anonymity. I think "friending" people kind of defeats the purpose.

For all you know, the more "sensible" (in your view) responses that "there's more going on here" really got to your friend, and maybe she feels better having vented and is now calmer.

It's good that you each have a place to vent - that's Mamapedia. Snooping sort of undermines that - if you want to know what she thinks (and vice versa) the best thing to do is really talk to each other. And you both realize that you show your own perspective when you post a questions.

I don't know anyone on here personally and I like it that way! If I ever refer to the site I say, "I saw/read it on this Mom site."
I am sorry that this is hurting, but feel good knowing that you weren't snooping because this is a public forum. If you hacked into her account that'd be a different story.

In life there are always 3 sides to every story, person one's, person two's, and the truth. We all see things through our own lenses that have been shaped by our own unique pasts. That is why I have learned to let a lot of things go and remember that not everything is personal.

As for the question, I did snoop once in my husband email, and I learned things I wish I did not know.

I think what you did is called "repairing the past." You wanted to know what was said, for or against you..and you learned her side. Try to see it the issue from both sides. There are always 3 sides to every story....yours, hers, and the truth. It is such a common gripe here, we are not soothsayers, just hearing one side...and the answers are quick.

And no, I don't snoop, but I don't know anyone here to snoop on. Everyone I know here is far, far away....and I hope to meet many of them one day soon...I was thinking it might have been this past May 21st....but that was postponed.

I hope you can learn something positive and useful from her post though and repair your relationship.

That actually has happened to me, and it was the same situation- I felt like the way she represented the situation to other mamapedia members was totally inaccurate- which prompted completely irrelevant responses against me (I wasn't a mamapedia member during the time she posted that particular post). However I have never said anything about it to her and we are in fact still friends- she was mad and posted something in a way that got her the responses she desired. Those women have no idea it was ''me'' and nobody else on her really knows me anyway. So, I let it go.

I don't think you should feel bad for snooping, I don't think it was really snooping at all. :)

you're not snooping! snooping is poking around through someone's private stuff. anything posted here on this very public forum is fair game.
you really have to keep in mind that every single post here presents only the poster's perspective. in 90% of the posts i read it's very clear that the people being referenced would have very, very different tales to tell.
but responders can only respond to what's posted.
so try not to take the 'crazy' labels personally, because they're really NOT personal. they're not directed at you, the living breathing human being with thoughts and feelings and a valid POV. they're directed toward the fictional character being portrayed in the story that someone else is telling about herself.
and that's what just about all the tales and responses here are. because this is an anonymous site and virtually no one is familiar with all the backstories, we all give responses that are based on the necessarily limited information we have. and that's a GOOD thing. it's that distance that lends perspective. very few people can be clear-headed and impartial when we're embroiled in the minutiae.
you did the right thing by resisting the urge to respond to that post. it's never easy when we feel we've been wronged and misrepresented, but it really wasn't YOU who was being slammed. it was that cypher that your former friend made up to make herself feel better.
khairete
S.

You mean you joined just to check it out in CASE she asked a question about you? Whoa. This IS a public forum. I wouldn't take too much to heart what other moms responded--especially those w/ a negative spin. Everyone knows there are two sides to every story!

But to answer you question, I am not aware pf any personal friends on this board, so no for me.

I'm with theory that if posted on a public site its not really snooping, but if you went looking for her profile and then went back to reread all the questions she posted then well maybe it is. I have snooped on facebook a while back on old boyfriends and then I looked at my currents BF profile to read all the posts and It always makes me feel weird. Old BF, I left a message on this ones page saying he owed me an apology - he did give it to me about 6 mos later and you know what it just made me upset. Way too late why did I bother. On my current SO, I trust him completely he would never , but I don't want to read silly statements from coworkers about other cowrkers on his FB page..it just makes me second guess myself. i think that is the problem with texts and posts - because you can mean them 1 way and people can take themanother way...

Ok I guess I do consider it snooping...

I don't have any friends that I know of on here...And in that situation if it is public I would be looking to...I sure hope you two were able to patch things up.

I haven't snooped but as this is a public forum open for discussion, I think it's perfectly fine to view all posts.

I haven't snooped on here but I have on facebook. I have a so called relative that has her facebook page wide open for all to see and her life is such a trainwreck that I can't help but look every once in a while.

I haven't on mamapedia but ill snoop in my 14 yr olds room every chance I get!

nope, as far as I know I do not know any active mamapeidanites in the real world as well. BTW I think this whole thing is crazy on both ends and I think I know the post you are referring to and I still think you two need to take it off the internet.

I snoop on my husband (and he knows that I will, because of issues early in our marriage) -- I check his computers web browser history, etc. And I have already repeatedly told my kids that it's my job as a mom to snoop into their stuff to help keep them safe.

But on a friend ... I haven't. Of course, if you mean you got on mamapedia and found her question, I wouldn't call that snooping. If you mean that you got into her account somehow (knew her username and knew/guessed her password), then yeah, that's snooping. IMO, and as you've discovered, very little good can come from that.

Not snooping - but I don't personally know anyone on here - so it's a safe haven for me to go get advice :).