I think I am pregnant. When my husband and I started dating, he made it clear that he didn't want anymore kids, that the one I had was enough. I told him it was important to me to have at least one more but that I wanted to wait until we had been married for awhile before we tried to have one. However, I have been feeling VERY tired and SUPER cranky and have EXTREMELY tender breasts. So I took a test and it was positive. Then I took another and it was negitive. My question to you other moms, have any of you ever been in this situation? If so, how did you tell your husband? If you haven't been in this situation, what would you do?
I want to say thank you to all who gave me advise on here. It helped alot. And it turns out that I was worried over what he would say for nothing. I was crying my eyes out when I told him and he put his arm around me and let me cry then told me to stop (after about 10 minutes) and said everything would be fine and told me not to worry. Then he started getting excited. But 2 days later, I started. But after all that worring, I'm not pregnant. But thanks again for all your moral support ladies. It was and still is greatly appreciated.
We are both 25 so having more kids sometime in the future is not totally out of the question. It just apparently isn't happening at the moment. :(
You have received some great advice here. First, if he really didn't want any more children then he should have had a vasectomy and two, if he is a great as you believe he will be fine with it if not, you are still having a lovely, sweet baby and three, he is an adult and should deal with fatherhood from that position as he was there when it happened too!
Best wishes to you!!
I did have that very same experience days before my husband and I got married... I just told him the truth "honey... I've been nervous lately that I might be pregnant... so I took a test .. here it is... its positive, but I later took another... here it is ... its negative. I'm confused. I'm not sure which is correct, but I need your support and to know how you feel about this... I'm so scared that you will be angry." or something along those lines. I was nervous because he was adament that we were not going to try for kids until we 1. had been married a year and 2. were more stable. I was very surprised that his reaction was a sweet smile as he put his arms around me and giggled very slightly... we took another test and it was positive... unfortunatly we miscaried before our 8 week doctors appointment, but the experience changed his mind about waiting... he said he wanted to try as soon as we could move to a larger place... so just a few months later that is exactly what happened...
Sweetie, if he's really amazing, he'll just take it in stride. Apparently God didn't listen to his request...and I guess he knows what makes it happen! So, you take your risks! That's what I'd tell him! :)
Good luck! I hope it goes well for you- but I'd get another test & follow up with a dr. vistit to confirm if there's any doubt before I'd mention it. But it sure sounds like it...if it's not just your period & PMS'ing.
Let us know how it goes. OH! He didn't by chance get a vasectomy before you guys got married, did he? If he was the one opposed to having more kids- that should have been a big priority for him then...you know INMHO:)
D.
I know you can't have a false positive but you can have a false negative.
Also I know exactly what your going through my ex told me when we were dating that he didn't want to have any kids and that mine was enough, I had a 12 yr old at the time.
He didn't want to loose me so he agreed on having a child with me after a couple of yrs but I ended up getting pregnant 2 wks before our wedding day and I freaked and was very scared.
He couldn't handle being a father/husband so he bolted just barely 3 months after we got married. It's been hard but I manage one way or another with lots of love and support from my family and friends and LOTS of prayers.
God Bless
M.
First things first, go to the doctor and verify if you are or are not pregnant. Once you know, then sit down to discuss it with your husband. Make it clear how you feel, and try to do it in as non-dramatic fashion as possible (which is SOOOO difficult if you are pregnant!)If you aren't pregnant, (but you probably are) then sit down & tell him about the scare.
He's probably not going to be over-joyed, but if you come to him with a plan drawn out on how it will all work, it will soften the blow.
Best of luck to you, and check on your current method of birth control...how effective is it?
A. -
It sounds like you're pregnant. You rarely get a false positive, but you can get false negatives. I'd just be straight up with him. It takes two, you know...you're not to "blame." He may be happy about it now that the child is coming. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Best of luck to you and let us know how it turns out!
- J.
It's a lot easier to have a false negative than it is to have a false positive. I guess it would be difficult to go to the doctor without him knowing.
My husband wanted to wait a LONG time before having kids... whenever anyone asked him, he'd say "10 years!" So I was worried how he'd take it when I got pregnant after only being married a year. He was really quiet for a few hours, and he didn't really want to believe it... but he definitely got excited about it later on.
Just tell him what's going on, let him know that you're worried about how he feels about it, but that you're kind of excited about having a baby together. It'll take some time for him to get used to the idea, but he'll probably start to get excited too!
Good luck!
I would go get another test. Maybe another brand? I would wait and see what the other test said and then tell him. It does take two to make a baby so please dont feel its all your fault. Having a baby is a good thing. Plus now your daughter will have someone to play and grow up with.
You can have a false negative but never a false positive-that's what I have always been told. I pray for you the best.
It takes two to tango. If he did not want another child and was truly against it...there would have been 1. A vasectomy
*less intrusive* or tubes tied. Or 2. Birth Control method
in use. And not all birth controls are 100 percent effective.
He may have changed his mind after taking care of your
first child and has decided he wants to have a child
with you. Give him the chance...be open and honest and talk
to him.
My hubby wasn't exactly the most thrilled when we found out I was expecting TWO WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING!!! OOPS! But he couldn't blame me....he was there too! Obviously you both weren't into the practice of preventing a surprise pregnancy so what's done is done. Once he's over the initial shock, he might surprise you and be SO thrilled with this new baby.
We are SOOO happy with our little girl and couldn't imagine life without her!! Good luck and just tell him what's going on. Tell him you think you may be pregnant and take a test together.
I like what Laura said. Give him a chance, and hopefully he'll be supportive and hold your hand through the third test. That way you can find out together. JMO, but that's what I would do. Communication is key, and honesty is the best policy....(how's that for cheesy, old-school advice? hahaha)
Congratulations! You are having a baby! Now to tell daddy, that seems like the hardest part sometimes doesn't it. My boyfriend and I were not in the position to have a baby when our little suprise came about but here we are a happy family. I took the test and initially when "time was up" it showed only the one line ... I had left it on the sink (he knew of the test and the possibility), no worries not preggers ... then an hour later he saw it and said, ok what do we do? Turns out the line was very faint initially and here we are. I say you take one last one TOGETHER, give him the opportunity to take off or a few hours or for you to, men need time to mull it over alone. I am sure things wlill be great.
I would take another test. My personal fav is the first response. As for one positive and one negative. HCG has to be present in order to have a positive test. It is possible to take a test and it not pick up the HCG, but unless you are taking meds or hormones it is very unlikely for a test read HCG that is not there. That being said, yes you can have a positive test and then have a negative one and both of them be correct. Yes that is a rather grim response and I am sorry, but I have been there and done that. I would let you husband know what is going on and them maybe take that 3rd one together or at least give him the option to take the 3rd one together. Guys weather they want children or not are way different about pregnancy. For my husband he tries very hard to show no emotion or interest until he has heard or seen the baby's heart beat, and even then he is extremely guarded until I go into labor. Literally for 8 months (I have had all of mine early) it is as if I am in it alone. So do not know that I would put any stock in his first reaction. Every time my husband has said "well we will see" or "time will tell." He has been great with all 3 of our babies. So really time will tell he may show little to no excitement about having one or even be upset but time will tell he may just find out that he did not know how good life could be.
I just found out that I am pregnant with my third (and unexpected) child. I was quite nervous about telling my husband since we had only planned on having two children and because my son is only 8 months old. I waited until I had had a clear cut positive pregnancy test before I told him because I didn't want to stress him out if it came out negative. In the end I just strait out told him and he was accepting and even seemed excited about our new addition.
As far as your having had one postive and one negative result, if you don't get your period in a day or two, retest. It is best to test with your first morning urine because it has the highest concentrations of the pregnancy hormone that the preg. test look for.
Good Luck!
