I Think My 3 Yr Old Is Already Showing Signs of ADHD and ODD

The best thing I can think to do is to try a gluten free/casein free diet. Give it two weeks and see if it helps. It can be a miracle for these kinds of behaviors! Diagnosed or not, you're having a problem with his behavior. Why not try some intervention now?

I work with children, special needs children and have found that the techniques we use with them also work on normal children as well. Try complete positive reinforcement. If you would like to contact me for some tips I would be glad to help you. K. ###-###-#### or ###-###-####

You can take him for a free mental health evaluation with the Brazoria County Mental Health/Mental Retardation Authority (I used to do evaluations in Harris County for the MHMRA) but also examine your parenting- I say this because I don't know you...not to blame you. Every child is going to test authority but I agree with you that a 3 year old acting this way if out of line and you are absolutely right to be seeking answers now instead of when he is 14. I know someone with a child like this and it is perfectly clear that a lack of consistent discipline is the problem with this child is the problem to everyone BUT her. I don't know if this is your case or not, so don't be offended. Do you give in a lot to make life easier? Is he getting plenty of attention and activity (including mental stimulation such as games, reading, workbooks,etc) throughout the day? Is this a lot worse with your new daughter being around to steal some of mom's attention? At this age you should be successfully using time outs (meaning he stays seated, he has no toys in timeout, you don't talk to him, and he waits for you to get him out) and you can even start to incorporate the loss of privileges or toys if that is not working. If he wants to push your limits trip him down to NOTHING- no toys, no dvds, no t.v. show, no candy...whatever it takes. You are going to be in for a rough few months but it will be much easier than an 18 year old man that acts this way. One thing I try ask myself when I discipline is "is this willful disobedience or childish irresponsibility?" If it is willful disobedience you must discipline every time. Stay calm and try not to let him rile you up- hard I know! I hope things get better- you are right in thinking you should seek some type of help if it does not.

You are 21 years old with 2 years experience working in a day care, so for 2 years of your son's life you were working outside of the home, full time? How do you take full care of 1. your child and work full time, and part of that time you were pregnant?
You may have other issues going on. Please do not be so quick to label your child. Boys are naturally very active (I have 3 adult sons) I have 3 that are all 2 years a part and all have very different personalities.

2. what is your bedtime routine?
3. what's the consequence for disobedience? And remember delayed obedience is really disobedience.
4. What time do you spend with him? and what does that time consist of?
5. Are there any structured times for him
6. Are their times he can run, jump, climb, throw balls, crawl through spaces, explore, etc. ?
7. what about TV? what are the rules?
8. what does his diet consist of?
9. what part does he Father play in his life?

Answering these questions may give you some insight into what going with your son. Please do not label him at 3 years old.

By the way what is Oppositional Defiant Disorder? It sounds like a big fancy college word for disrespect and disobedience.

when i was in 2nd grade i was diagnosed with adhd and immediately they put me on riddalin...there was a study that if taken longer than 6 months later in life the child will show schitzophrenic tendencies and bi polar disorder... 2 months after they put me on it they took me off and put me on aderol... i took aderol from 2nd grade till 9th grade and i had a problem with drugs at a young age, about 11, if i have a headache i have to take about 5 tylenol to even take the edge off... not to mention after taking it for so long it lost effect and now i just tend to fidget consantly, i would recomend not to put your child on any kind of med at all... ever... try instead of sugary things if you give him a snack go for sugar free cookies and stuff... sprite water sugar free caffeine free drinks and putting kids with adhd in the corner just makes it worse... ive been there... at first it might seem worse but try taking toys tv time and snacks away from him till he behaves... thats what worked for my parents when i was off the wall... i hope this works for you.

girl i feel for you i have a 5 year old that has adhd and he is on a believe it or not a high blood pressure medication for his adhd and let me tell you it has made a world of difference he is in kindergarden and has had already 3 referrals and numbers of trips to the principles office i give him his meds right before school and he is focused and does his work and is staying out of trouble for the most part of it is more relaxed and not so strung high with energy he is more on everyone elses level much of a difference call your doctor.....

I asked my DD's neuro about this, as my son is 3 and he said that's pretty much typical at that age :)

I had/have an ADD child - but this was not diagnosed until she was in her teens. As child she was manageable and if one on one attention was provided and/or individual attention when she was doing a task she calmed down. She was the third child of four. I don't know if anyone has told you or mentioned it, but the addition of a new sibling can create some insecurities to a child, especially if they have been the only one for a while. I am no expert, but you might try the "devoted mom" to him first and spend some one-on-one time with him. If possible, "calm or quiet" activities. Puzzles, coloring, "seeking games- like I spy" any type of "thinking game" or expreses creativity - "play dough" in a controlled area-if you feel brave. One thing about my child was she was very intelligent ( which is common with ADD kids) -- and her boredom was expressed in curiosity to getting into trouble for doing something she was not supposed to do to fighting with her siblings. I tried to keep her "busy". Some kids have more energy than others an outlet for that energy is good - like "non-competitive" gymnastics, soccer, etc. - I ended up using medications for ADHD - but she was 15 at the time when diagnosed after testing and mild therapy. She used them for a few years and they got her thru high school and college ---there are different types of ADD so what works for one may not work for another. Try other means first before going the medication route, it is not pleasant that way either - we had to go thru 4 different meds before we found one that "worked". Also, just eliminating sugar is not always the culprit - it is possible he has other allergies - other food substances cause hyperactivity, additives and such. It is frustrating as you try to solve "his problem" - but there are usually othe moms that have gone thru something similar. Good luck and don't knock the faith - YOU are the one who needs the faith to stay strong to help your child and help you get thru the day! I had that to help me raise my kids I worked full time nights and weekends and tried to do it all --- the rewards come at the end --- then the grandkids come along.

I used to work as a child psychologist before staying home with my own daughter. I saw lots of parents facing these issues with their young children. It may be helpful to first work with someone (psychologist, therapist) who can help you iplement some behavior modification tactics. Keep in mind the biggest part of working on a child's behavior is working on your own!! You and your sig. other need to be fully committed to the consistency and agree on your strategies. Be careful of jumping to quick to Adhd diagnosis. ODD carries a significant label as well! Since he is 3 part of it could be his stage, but this is the time to get some help with parenting strategies and definitely not time to jump into meds. A good psychologist would also say the same. Day care and school can provide some good structure as well, so I wouldn't dismiss that idea. Often times kids thrive in these environments because of the routine/structure. Good luck. There are way too many kids diagnosed with ADHD, so be weary of anyone jumping to this right away. Kids need to be kids and will be defiant. When you read the diagnosis, you can pretty much put any kid let alone adult into that category! The point is, does it interfere with HIS daily functioning---socially, academically, etc.

First you need a diagnosis. Find a pediatrician who does this; many do. It doesn't take long, and as a woman married to a man with ADHD and the mother of a 28-year woman with ADHD, my advice is that you not wait.

First of all, if that's his problem, he needs medication NOW. There's nothing you can do about his behavior unless he's medicated. This is a physical problem. Until he's medicated properly he will not be able to learn anything.

Second, medication doesn't cure the problem. It makes it possible for him to learn better behavior. Get some books on ADHD (there are many). You'll have to train him, beginning now. Otherwise he won't be able to take advantage of any education.

Third, don't count on his outgrowing it. Many don't. Our daughter knows that she can't function at all without the medication, and she still finds just dealing with daily living challenging.

Fourth, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. ADHD people can be very creative. But they need training and guidance, and that's where you come in.

Start out with "Driven to Distraction" and then read "Delivered from Distraction". Good luck.

Cathy

This can be very trying when you have a 4month old. I have a 9month old, a 7yr old boy (1st grade), and a 4th grade girl. We were married at 22, had our first child at 30 and now I am 40...starting all over. Ha!
Our 7yr old reminds me of your son. We almost stopped at him. He is like 3kids. We started noticing some things at 2 1/2 -3yrs. We thought he may have Autism. He has sensory integration (under the autism spectrum...ADHD is part of this too). The ADHD....not sitting still, restless and difficult sleep patterns all part for us. We went to see a neurologist @ 4, who put him on an anti-viral for close to a year. This helped tremendously. He has been in occupational therepy which has helped. ( can be expensive ). He has not been on any meds, only the brief time of anti-viral. Also, public schools have special programs for his age, if he qualifies. Check them out. Our son qualified at 3. This is free. Also, google brushing and joint compression. This is a trick we learned through occupational therapy. It could really help. It sounds weird, but ADHD is a nerve based. This therapy will help organize your son and calm him down through out the day. Do you have a trampoloine? Get one if you don't. Or a mini tramp. The focus of him watching a cartoon or learning program while jumping helps too.
On the defiant part, please pick up the book Love and Logic. EVERYONE NEEDS THIS! This is extremely hepful for an ADHD kid like ours! I know there are a lot of books out there. Who has time to read? Not me and there is a lot of advice. This one is perfect for our situations.
The ODD...it is just called rebellion. Every kid has it and so do we...kids are just more in your face... Consistency and boundaries are key here. I know it is very hard. Sometimes the labels make us feel better. The last thing our kids need today is another label.
Hang in there. Our son still has some challenges, however he is a delight,smart, funny and he is quite a hottie...at least that is what I am told. I hope this helps, ND

A few thoughts -- I thought for sure that my daughter had something -- I wasn't sure what, but I was definitely to the point, when she was four, where I wanted to get her evaluated and her teacher thought that would be a good idea. My husband balked for fear of her being labeled, and I will say that she seems to have grown out of some of the worst behavior -- she just turned six and seems to have developed a lot more self control and a lot more awareness of others -- she was so oblivious of signs of discomfort or other social cues that I thought maybe she had some sort of sensory uptake problem -- have you seen any of the stuff that is out there on Sensory Integration Disorder? It's really interesting, and I definitely was hoping to get her evaluated for that, especially because I think my own mother and I both have it too. Anyway, I don't know what the moral of this story is -- it's just my own experience. I wound up feeling that solidarity between my husband and me was more important for my daughter than getting a diagnosis, and in the long run I believe that turned out to be true. Very likely we were lucky -- if we'd left her totally untreated until six and she really had something that was completely or largely preventing her getting socialized, we'd have a real problem at this point, especially in terms of her self esteem. Anyway, I do recommend getting an assessment -- I believe that the new information that is becoming available about sensory integration problems in kids may mean much better care for some kids who have otherwise been diagnosed as add, adhd, oppositional/defiant or just plain willful, the last of which my daughter definitely is! You also have my empathy in parenting a very active and oppositional child full-time while working full time. I came close to that, and, well, I learned a LOT about where dysfunctional families come from! I'd always thought that dysfunction in families was immature or addicted parents trying to parent when they weren't ready, but I was as ready as it is possible to be, and just one sweet little girl and a very full professional life came close to breaking me. I hope by the time your son is 5-6, he'll be as much fun as my daughter became as her self-control and emotional maturity finally began to catch up with her off the charts intelligence and physical abilities!

Best wishes,
M.

As a clinical social worker with children (and mother of two) I want to caution you about the use of the diagnosis ADD and/or ODD. Many of the typical behaviors of a three year old are impulsive and active. That is NORMAL. You say you are 21 with a three year old. This means you were 18 when you had a baby, which also concerns me. However, I will try to give you some helpful information without judgement. You mention you have a four month old daughter. This is a huge adjustment for your three year old son.
Get some books about normal preshoolers' behavior such as T. Berry Brazelton's book,
The First Three Years of Life. Also play outside with your son often. Take him to playgrounds, throw the ball with him. Read with him. Wrestle with him. He is most probably normal, active, and healthy.
Please do not pathologize an active kid. Read up on typical developmental stages.
There are so many resources (at the library and on the internet) for learning about early childhood development.
If you are still concerned, seek out an early childhood specialist and have him evaluated.
Good Luck!
D.

So many children are misdiagnosed with adhd. Changing the diet works well. I have to say that not only does it work for my child but it works for me.
I don't understand it, some kids hit terrible 2s and some times terrible 2s don't hit till 3. since when did we decide children were mentally unstable because they were not behaving the way we want them to behave? Just when we think we have an understanding between us and our children they hit there teen years. And then they hit there mood swings and all sorts of roller coasters with them again. Should we label them and medicate them some more?
I just feel like so many children are being misdiagnosed for behaving the way children behave. There not all the same and there a bit complex.
I would go to a professional and even then get a second oppenion...

It does sound as if your child is ADHD. Do not worry so much about it and do not get into the ODD label with a three year old. There are many different things you can try to work with your child. First of all, try eliminating all artificial colors and flavors from his food. Look up the Feingold diet. I used this with my son when he was three and it made a world of difference. Also, try a naturapath doctor for suggestions of vitamins that may help your child. Make sure you have a schedule for the day and stick to it. Give him some choices -such as what clothes he will wear and choices bewtween two play activities, but remain in control. You are the adult. Do not get discouraged. These very active children have a lot of energy later in life and usually do well- with guidance! J. K.

HI, I have taught 3year olds at a private preschool for the past 10 years. I am also the mother of 5 year old twins and have a husband with ADD. My first advice is to not try to diagnose or to read between the line with his behavior. It is great that you are doing your research, but use what you have learned to look at yourself and your parenting style and try making changes with you first. (The fact that you are doing your research and asking all the right questions shows what a loving and terrific mom you are. What follows is about the tools that we as moms can use to help us handle difficult situations.) A great many kids are outside the box in someway and what seems to work for everyone else doesn't really fit for them. That's when we as parents have to start thinking outside the box for discipline and structure. Next, try cutting way down on sugar and processed foods within a high protein diet. I would even eliminate juice. Last, try cutting down on his environmental stimulus. Fewer toys, fewer choices, quieter music, less for his little nervous system to process and get overloaded. Provide him with a highly predictable and structured day. If you don't start seeing promising results, start with your pediatrician. Please DON'T go to an OT (occupational therapist) for diagnosis. They are great tools, but ADD is a neurological disorder and can be tested for. You need to see an MD, a neurologist or one specializing in ADD, for an initial diagnosis.

I hope this help some. Please don't give up. You have the power to create amazing change in your sons life and in yours.

Oh my dear,,, I just went threw this.... My son is also 3 and I noticed the same 2 mts before he was 3.... He dosent eat candy, but only verry rarely,,,, No kool aid, and was a good eater. I did my research, and found 3 meds that are ok for kids.... Riddalin, Stratera, and Adderall.... Adderall is the ONLY one ok for kids as young as 3.. Strarera has a BUG red flag on it from the FDA.... ( it is causing users to get jaundice) and of course you know about the first..... My son was up to 22.5mg of adderall before his dr said to get him a psychiatrist.. ( for medicane management). She put him on Focaline... IT WORKED!!!! well, it worked for a while..... He is now up to 25mg of it... We just had an apt with her, and we are now 2nd guessing ourselfs..... I asked if it was something he was eating, and she said a lot of parents try that, and in the end make everyone in the family missareable before going to meds. ( you half to change what you eat also. He will eat only what his parrents eat.) We think he is just going threw the terrable 2's just a little late..... The meds are no longer working... I am going to pull him out of school / daycare week after next, and have a private tuter school him, so he will be ready for big kid school. I have done everything you said.... Grounding, taking away toys, time out, even spanking... Hell I even cryed to him!!!!! Do your research, and talk to your pedi.... Or, even look into a psychiologist.... P.S. Does he act the same with other people??? Like at church, or playgroops, where you or dad are not presant???? Start keeping a log. This will help the Dr and you track his behaviors..... Make sure you show AM and PM....... Sometimes it is worse at different times..... Let me know if there is anything I can do to help...

I am an LPC and can tell you that ODD isn't ususally diagnosed until adolescents, and it often includes dangerous behavior not just defiance. In addition ADHD usually isn't obvious until a child starts school. I would guess it has more to do with your three year old getting use to his new sister. My recommendation even if he was diagnosed with these disorders is to look into Love and Logic parenting. You can see their resources at www.loveandlogic.com This type of parenting style works extremely well with defiant children. I have used it both professionally and with my own 3 year old.

Before my little ones came along, I specialized in ADD and AD/HD children. First of all there is a lot of Biblical information on this. For one, don't label your kid. You will be completely offended by what I have to say , but here it goes.. parents today are lazy and they don't want to work with their children. Instead of being creative with discipline and education, let's drug 'em up , stick a label on them and make excuses for them and it takes the burden off of me. When my 3 yr old acts in similar ways , I sit in the florr and hold her in my lap and we pray together. In the begining she would kick and scream and I just held her in my arms and prayed for the Lord's peace to pour out on her. She now, will tell me she's having a bad day and ask me to pray with her. These behaviors are somewhat "normal" because of wanting the attention they no longer get due to the younger sibling. I see you have a 4mo old. I have a 2 yr old right behind my daughter. You have to make special time just for your son. To get him to sit have an area set up for "story time" start out by holding him and reading to him. Yes, he'll fight it at first, just love him. Then read. after a while introduce his own story time alone. Set up a timer for 2 min, he's not allowed to get up or talk , just "read" after a couple of weeks go to 5 min, and so on til you can get at least a 1/2 hour that he will sit quietly by himself. This does take a lot of work on your part, but for your child it is well worth it. You have to look inside your self and allow Christ to come in and take over. Allow your self to be led by Him and pray daily for a calm spirit upon your child and wisdom on raising him to be a godly man. If you would like more help, feel free to email directly.
steph

STOP!!! You are not a trained professional and you're throwing around some heavy duty diagnosis with no real understanding of what they mean. Even after you're trained, you still need years of experience to fully understand the "flavor" of each diagnosis. If you are this concerned go to FAMILY therapy. It is important to see the entire family to understand 1 person's behavior within that family. Especially when the person is 3 yrs old. If you label your child, others will also be quick to label him and he will grow up at a diasadvantage because of it. If you are so concerned that you're researching online, definately spend the money and go to an expert.

I have a friend who was recently have the same problems with her 3 year old daughter. She did some research and decided to change up her daughter's diet. They put more natural and organic foods in her diet and within days all the behaviors they'd blamed on her being 3 were GONE!! Something to think about..

I agree with your family. He is 3. He is trying to be independent and have some control over his world, which is why he is defiant. I am sorry that I don't have suggestions. But I don't thik he has ADHD nor ODD. Those are never diagnosed in a child this young. He really is just three, though it is a prime time to be teaching him how to behave. I think the suggestions a couple of moms had about playing were good. Has he been like this all along, or since you were pregnant and the baby was born?

as for never being tired, he's wired! over tired children (who should drop off from exhaustion but never do) don't sleep well. Maybe take some time in the day and try to get him to nap - even if it's with you. He should still be getting 11-12 hours of sleep right now.

It never hurts to get an evaluation, but I truly believe you have a challenging 3 year old, not a case of ADHD nor ODD. Good luck.

TCH has a very good behavior mod. program you might research. Also, if you have not had your son evaluated by a professional (I can give you the name of an excellent Psychologist) for ADHD/autism/ODD then even though expensive it is well worth every penny.
Go with your gut feelings....you know if something is off track in his development.
Another place to begin is reading PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC.
And, even though you don't want religious offerings...it never hurts to pray for strength, patience, and wisdom.

S. g.
mom to 5 ages 14,13,10,9,8

I don't have a child with either, but would offer that you look very carefully at his diet. How much sugar (naturally occurring as well as the refined/high-fructose corn syrup variety) is in what he's eating? I've had friends with kids with similar issues. Once they looked at what the child was eating, it seemed part of the answer was there.

Good luck and keep your patience! Part of it may be a phase - continue to embrace his need for high-energy activities.

Hi Shae -

My 3 year old is also very, very active! Out of the 12 signs of ADHD he only had 2 signs, and he rated low on those, for that so I don't think that's our issue. I can tell you that my sone is VERY strong willed, which can make discipline/listening an issue (discipline/defiance/pushing buttons!). Your family is right to though, 3 year old boys are a LOT of work!

There is a great book I'd like to recommend for you and your husband to read (it helps greatly to be on the same page when it comes to disciplining your children). It is "Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child" by Robert MacKenzie. It is most helpful to the parents!

If you are truly concerned about AHDH talk with your family Pediatrician and see what they have to say.

Best of luck!

Shae, try your best not to worry. I say that, being a mom myself I understand the fears you must face. I would encourage you to take him to a nutritionist to get tested for intolerances and allergens. Did you know gluten (found in wheat products and mostly everything in the pantry) intolearance or allergy can be manifested in symptoms similar to adhd? Our bodies talk to us constantly either through physical symptoms or moods. Many people are quick to diagnose with ADHD before looking at anything that may be harming our bodies by eating it. If you are at your wits end then you're probably open to alternative therapies. Find a Reiki practitioner in your area and take him to an energy treatment. Watch the miracle that unfolds before you! Just google Reiki and you'l find a million choices of practitioners. I wish you the answer your looking for!

Hi Shae,
I am a wellness consultant here in San Antonio, and I am a certified detoxification specialist through Standard Process, Inc. I also work 3 to 4 days at Cost Plus Nutrition. It sounds like you have done your homework on what may be at the bottom of the problem, but have you come across the research that links vaccines, diet and environmental toxins to the behaviour of your child? This is a lengthy discussion, at best. If you would like to e-mail me your phone number and a good time to call you, I will do that. I can tell you about the dangers of vaccines, along with websites that support the information that I will pass on to you. There are many parents who are learning how to detoxify their children of heavy metals, such as mercury (which was supposed to be removed from vaccines)and you will see their experiences online and how detoxification and diet has helped them to help their children. My e-mail address is ____@____.com.

As I was reading your e-mail, I was wondering if you were pregnant or had a new baby. I read a lot about problems the first child can have when a second one comes along. Some of the symptoms you described sounded like some of what I read. Just a thought... I hope everything turns out ok.

Good morning,
I found this info from Dr. Kenneth Finsand,
" Scientists believe that many behavior disorders start with deficient nutrition which is the first area in which mangosteen can help children. It is a delicious source of a wide array of vital nutrients. Instead of treating ADD or ADHS with drugs, try giving your child a chance to be nutrtionally suffiencient. "

Our food, our water, our air, is all contaminted, our bodies need something natural to replace those Free Radicals that enter our body.
Look into it

thanks,
Oly

Hi,
My name is C. and I am a mother of three grown children and a 3 year old granddaughter that I keep daily while her mommy works... so I have a "little" experience with children. :) I would first suggest that you eliminate sugar from your child's diet for several days and see if that makes a difference in his behavior. My granddaughter is like a live wire when she has had soda or sweets, and will go non stop until she simply falls over.
I would also HIGHLY recommend the book: Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the family. He takes in consideration physical conditions, but also gives really great advice and insight on raising strong willed children.

I just read you listing. It made me sad to see so many people respond in such a negative manner. As a mother of a child who had similar issues, please be secure in what you know you do well. It certainly sounds like you are a consistant Mom, which really is very important! Our son in on a gluten-free and casein-free diet. While it was not a "quick-fix", we did notice a big change in only a few days. TV and video games really do make life difficult for these kids, really for all kids. It has effect on their ability to focus and process. Also, it may sound odd, but having him play with gross motor skill toys instead of fine motor skill toys may help. Just remember to make sure you love him and he knows it. He will get enough rejection in society. People expect perfection, it seems.

i absolutely think it's diet related. make sure you're not giving him any artificial colors or flavorings in what he eats. omega 3 supplements are great but make sure they are a reputable source. we like the garden of life brand cod liver oil. it's one of the only brands we've found that test for mercury in their fish. my daughter likes it by the spoonful (yuck!) or you can mix it with a little orange juice and see if he'll take it that way. i would recommend 2 books "smart medicine for a healthier child" which has a lot of info on homeopathic remedies for kids and "bringing up boys" by james dobson. so great on what raising a boy is like. they are so different than girls!
oh, and pray! the only way you get through raising kids is lots and lots of prayer :)
good luck.
p.s. you can also check out the feingold diet at www.feingold.org this diet is for kids who have a lot of add/adhd symptoms that don't go completely away with removing just artificial, some natural foods have to be taken away if the child is sensitive to natural salicylates (sp.). please let me know if you have any questions about it.

Neither of these conditions can be diagnosed for a few more years. In the mean time, here's a few tips. I know you probably know all this already, but I'm just trying to help.

Every child needs a daily routine. Most things need to be done in the same order every day.
At least an hour of intense physical activity every morning.
Sunshine every afternoon.
No more television or computers at all. None.
Make posters of routine with pictures.
Color code everything. ADHD respond very well to colors and pictures.
make sure his clothes are comfortable, no itchy tags or fabrics.
Add Omega3 supplement to his diet, we like Barleans fruit punch flavored.
Test for food allergies.
stick to a whole-foods, unprocessed diet with plenty of protein.
Only drink water, maybe a little milk.
Look up Parenting with Love and Logic, it really works.
Make sure he's getting enough sleep. There are some charts online with general guidelines.
Bach's Flower Remedies are Homeopathic remedies that could help. we like rescue remedy.
Tui Na chinese massage is helpful for infants and children. There are some books about it, if you think he'll sit still long enough.
Stay calm, he probably THRIVES on the energy from conflict.

I have ADD, and these are things that have helped me personally, my 3 year old son is very active as well, though I think it's probably normal for a 3 yr old boy. Just because it might be normal, doesn't make it any easier to live with.

Blessings on you. Give him hugs!

Hello my child has adhd. She is now taking a drug called concerta. Concerta is available in many different dosage. Check with a doctor ask the age and weight requirements. My child was failing but now she is a honor roll student.

He's a 3yr old boy! They just don't know how to sit still - just not wired that way. And as with your family, I'm not the one who's with him all day...but maybe it gets on your nerves more simply because it IS all day every day for you.
A book that I've really found helpful is How To Talk So Kids Will Listen (and Listen so Kids Will Talk) by Faber & Mazlish.
I have found it really helpful with our 4yr old with whom we were having some...disciplinary challenges.
Beyond that, I'm gonna second pretty much everything that Mary B said.
And lastly, remember that You Get More of What You Pay Attention To!
hth and you're in my thoughts

K. H
mama to Catherine (4yrs) and Samuel (13mos)

Oh.My.Gosh. I almost cloud take what you wrote and just turn that in as my comment!! I thought I was all alone... I see its been a few years you wrote- hopefully you get your responses still- I would love to hear how your son is doing now- and what's worked and what hasn't .... Because honestly, I am done... I give up.. I feel like1. I am failing my child because I have no clue how to handle this unbelievable and very trying toddler... ODD was what I am going with - it seems to fit, we just started taking him to a pschychiarist that specializes in situations of this matter. My son is such a cuddle bug, so sweet when its the right time or he feels like it... Other than when he's like that its opposite... Hell on earth ... That's what I feel it's like . I love this little boy to pieces .... I just don't know how to handle him - I feel like I have to entertain him 24/7 in order to keep just calmness - I should t have to do this - I am very involved with my kids ... Crafts,projects,singing, reading to them, talking at their level, reinforcement of love and understanding, always always saying he's a good boy and PRAISE LOTS OF PRAISE..... When its needed...I am exhausted by keeping constant - I have to be with him always! I can't even pee without him banging and kicking the door.. That's enjoyable! Gosh I hope you get this
____@____.com is my email if you'd like to respond here or email would be great ... If you respond at all... Thanks so so much

Sincerely.... A momma that's at the end of her rope.... B.

It scares me how fast folks are to give kids drugs for being... kids, so I'm happy to know you aren't planning to take that route.

I did not know this until recently, but schools get more money for each child they diagnose as ADHD, etc, which gives them an incentive to do so. To me, it is a made up illness invented by adults who would rather their kids be zombies than have to actually deal with them during their childhood. He is a 3 year old little boy and he's going to act like one. It is hard to know why he is so out of control without seeing how you and your husband interact with him, discipline him, etc.

Do you ever watch the show SuperNanny? I love that show and see alot of kids that sound just like your son and she whips them into shape... so that tells me there is hope without dope :)

Hi, Please be VERY careful with having your child diagnosed as ADHD, ADD, ODD, etc. Most Dr's will not prescribe meds for that at his age, but some will and they can be very harmful, stunt growth, etc. That also will follow him the rest of his life. More than likely it IS just his age, but I have an idea/story for you. My sister has 5 kids total ranging in age from 22 to 5. ALL of them were the same way! They would tear around the house, scream, jump on furniture, twist out of their car seats, throw fits in stores, refuse to stay in bed, etc. One daughter was so bad, she'd crash into walls or tables, fall to the floor, get up and keep going. The child was seen in ER with concussions over 10 times before the age of 7! Another son had to be physically restrained in bed to keep him from sneaking out windows (which were locked) in the middle of the night at age 3. Finally after alot of research we came up with allergies to food additives/preservatives. Once we eliminated ALL foods with additives/preservatives, their wild behavior was reduced by probably 95%! They calmed down, would listen, slept when they were supposed to, stopped being defiant and destructive and so on. The list of foods is long and it can be very difficult to figure out what you can feed them, but organic foods are safe, and if you want to contact me privately, I can give you a list. You have to stop feeding him lunch meats, hot dogs, dairy products, anything with nitrites, nitrates, sulfides, food dyes or anything that has a additive you can't pronounce. My sister came up with alot of alternatives which weren't too bad. We saw the difference right away. For instance, if the daughter ate even one nacho with cheese (processed orangey stuff), she'd go nuts and it would last for hours. There are no meds for this and amazingly enough, they tend to outgrow it as they hit middle puberty. With girls, it tends to cause severe migraines also. And with either sex, it usually won't show up until age 2 and after. BTW, her kids all are healthy, alert, the proper height and weight for their ages, getting excellent grades in school, etc. Just normal kids now. You can research food additive/preservative allergies or contact me for more info. My sister has dealt with this for over 20 years and has it all figured out. If you don't get a handle on it now, your son will NOT be able to function in school and will be labeled "Special Needs", "Disruptive" or worse, placed in Alternative Classes and that will haunt him his entire school life. Too many doctors and people are quick to label ADHD, ADD, OCD, ODD, etc when in actuality, it's not as common as you think. Food allergies of the kind I am talking about are rarely considered by Dr's, as they simply don't think of it! Do some research and see if your son's symptoms match what info you find. I think you'll be surprised. And if nothing else, just trying the diet will NOT hurt him! Good luck and let me know if I can help.

Some activities that have helped my kids (both with special needs) have been sensory related. He might know his shapes right now, have him draw circles & triangles in shaving cream on a cookie sheet at the kitchen table. This could be a special treat while you're busy feeding your newborn. While your changing her, have him help you while you both sing the alphabet to her. Chances are if he feels involved he'll really feel important. My two (older boy and younger girl) are 4 years apart, and they are the best of friends.

As for him being too young for meds, yes I agree. We've been that route and it didn't solve anything. What did help was a change in diet. We took away the red dyes, preservatives and switched apple juice for white grape or pear juice. (phenols-he was majorly sensative to). Those things at 4 helped a lot. What helped even more was at 10 we went dairy free & gluten/wheat free. He doesn't get near as frustrated now and can concentrate for bits at a time. It helps when he does become out of sorts to have him jump on our 4' indoor trampoline. He still loves "taco baby". That's being wrapped in a blanket and held for a few minutes.

Good luck! Your welcome to e-mail me for more ideas with your challenges, I've been there!!

S.

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Make sure he is getting enough protein in his diet. My three year old is a terrible eater- but I notice a direct correlation in her behavior when she has had good protein packed meals. You three year old is also adjusting to your 4 month old infant. It is hard I have the same thing going on here. Try to figure out a way to give him some one on one attention.

I'd suggest talking to your pediatrician, and maybe taking him to a child psychologist. They would probably have a lot of good advice for you. Get yourself some books on the topic, maybe find a support group for parents who have kids with the same issues. Also, I've read a lot of articles that talk about how diet affects children's behavior, and that a lot of the symptoms of ADD/ADHD can be controlled or completely eliminated just by changing a kid's diet. Artificial dyes and preservatives have a lot to do with it. Good luck, hon!

All I can say is I have a daughter the same age and she is showing the same signs. I have asked her pediatrician and I am in the medical field-all say it is just the age. I know it doesn't help when you feel you want to pull all of your hair out after saying "don't" 50 million times-just know other moms are feeling your same frustration.

The symptoms that you describe could be quite a lot of things: age, sleep-deprivation, general spirited personality or even a whole set of sensory integration issues.

But the real situation is that you are Mommy and it is important to follow your gut if you think your child has an issue. Go talk to your pediatrician about getting a developmental evaluation, because if it is something like a sensory disorder or ADHD -- then there are behavioral therapies that you can do NOW to help minimize it later. And, if nothing shows up, then you know that it is just 'the terrible threes' and he will probably grow out of it.

Good luck!

Hi Shae,
Your message really scared me because I, too, have a three year old that does NOT listen and acts EXACTLY how you described yours. When I say I got scared, it is because it never crossed my mind that he could be either ADHD or ODD...I just like to think that he is acting as a normal three year old. I do have to tell you, though, that I do agree with some of the readers when they say that three years old is a little too early to label your child. My mother in law has been a teacher for special needs kids with ADD, dislexia, ect, and she absolutely loves the fact that her three year old grandson is as active as he is. She says to worry if he wasn't... The best piece of advice I got was from our pediatrician that said to make sure that our son gets at least 20 minutes of our undevided attention each day once our new baby, who is also 4 months old, was born, and it has made a huge difference...Try it. We do "circle time" in the mornings, while baby brother's asleep, and when I don't get around to doing it, I can tell that he acts up. By all means do what's best for your child, but as a member of the healthcare field, I believe that we are too quick to medicate our children, so give him the chance to blossom before you jump into giving him prescription medications. Good luck, and I'll think of you next time my little one throws a tantrum because I'll know that I'm not alone...Write any time!