I Think My Son Has ADD

Updated on November 11, 2008
J.A. asks from Montgomery, TX
54 answers

My son is 9 years old and has trouble finishing his school work. He can do the work, I know this because if I sit with him and repeatedly tell him to do his work it gets done. If left to do the work on his own, hours will pass and nothing gets finished. He does not finish his work at school and as a result he sits in the no Recess room day after day and still he doesn't finish. We have tried just about everything you can think of to get him to do his work. I am at my wits end!!! And I know that it sounds awful but I have 2 other children and I can't spend all of my time just helping one of them with homework and or work that didn't get done in school.
In doing some research on the internet I believe he has ADD. I WILL NOT put him on any kind of drugs for this....Do any of you know of a natural way to combat this problem?

Thank you in advance for your help!
J.

After reading some of the responses i realized that I did not explain everything as well as i should have. First, if we find out that Diet and/or other alternative methods will not work then I would trust my dr to find the right meds for my son, i just didn't want that to be the first thing we tried. Second, the no recess is not what it sounds like, he goes to p.e. the recess that he has to miss is an "extra" time outside that is earned by getting all your work done. I have spent time at his school and with his teachers, i'm pretty sure they have me on speed dial (lol) We talked to his main teacher today and though she does not believe he has ADD I am still going to make an appt with our Dr. and see what he thinks. Thank you all for all your wonderful advice, and for taking the time to offer your help and support.

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M.M.

answers from Austin on

You need to go to a doctor and get him diagnosed, as well as ask the doctor for advice on alternatives. As a former teacher, I really see the importance of "nipping it in the bud." It can really hinder learning.

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P.L.

answers from Houston on

Have you asked him what's going on? I mean, sit down and have an honest conversation - not angry or accusing or anything. It may not be that he's challenged enough. Maybe he just doesn't care. Try to help him make everything interesting in his own mind. Like with math, apply it in word problems to things that he enjoys like sports or something. School work is not fun. I don't know that it's necessarily ADD, just lack of interest. Try that first.

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O.C.

answers from Austin on

J.,

My grandson had this problem, 2 yrs ago, it was so bad, teachers insisted on my daughter putting him on drugs, we refused. we took him to several dr and he was not add,
we started giving him XANTHONES and within days, he was a different kid,
paying attention, doing his homework.

research xanthones,ask what these can do for him, too.

www.dailyhealthjuice.com

listen in to dr templeman and dr tootla speak of this

thank you,
Oly

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L.B.

answers from Killeen on

hi J., my name is L. and I'm finishing my degree this year in spec. educ. and thought I might give some info on ADD. First of all, dealing with a child with ADD is a big transition and takes a lot of work. Have you talked to his teacher to see if she/he thinks he exhibits signs of ADD? he may just be a child who needs extra time to process or do his work and staying on task. If he is ADD, there are certain signs to look for and his teacher should be doing the same instead of punishing him. Because that's not going to work. I wanted to give you some info from a teacher website I'm a part of that might be of some help or it may be info you've already seen. The main thing with ADD students is organization, time management and routine. He needs to have structure about homework, when things are due, where to put work and maybe just more time to do his work. he doesn't have the attention span it takes to finish his grade level work. He may have the skills and intelligence to do the work but his brain won't let him sit still long enough to do it. He needs to have more breaks and as far as not completing his work at school, he should be allowed to finish a set number of problems or a certain amount then take a break. Same thing at home, he'll need quiet time, one-on-one time and breaks. It may be hard to do at first but once he knows what is expected and what he needs to get done, things should get better. he needs to be responsible for getting work done and completing assignments. Making checklists, reminders, and using planners can be a big help. I hope I'm not overwhelming you but there are a lot of strategies to do first and interventions to try before trying to diagnose him with ADD. And if he isn't ADD, all these strategies work well for all kids.

Adapt Curriculum and Instruction
1. Provide more direct instruction and as much one-on-one instruction as possible.
2. Use guided instruction.
3. Teach and practice organization and study skills in every subject area.
4. Design lessons so that students have to actively respond-get up, move around, go to the board, move in their seats.
5. Design highly motivating and enriching curriculum with ample opportunity for hands-on activities and movement.
6. Eliminate repetition from tasks or use more novel ways to practice.
7. Design tasks of low to moderate frustration levels.
8. Use computers in instruction.
9. Challenge but don't overwhelm.
10. Change evaluation methods to suit the child's learning styles and strengths.

Provide Supports to Promote On-Task Behavior
1.Pair the student with a study buddy or learning partner who is an exemplary student.
2. Provide frequent feedback.
3.Structure tasks.
4. Monitor independent work.
5. Schedule difficult subjects at the student's most productive time.
6. Use mentoring and peer tutoring.
7. Provide frequent and regularly scheduled breaks.
8. Set timers for specific tasks.
9. Call attention to schedule changes.
10. Maintain frequent communication between home and school.
11. Do daily/weekly progress reports.
12. Teach conflict resolution and peer mediation skills.

Provide Supports to Promote Executive Function

To support planning:
1.Teach the student to use assignment pads, day planners or time schedules, task organizers and outlines
2. Teach study skills and practice them frequently and in all subjects

To increase organization:
1. Allow time during school day for locker and backpack organization
2. Allow time for student to organize materials and assignments for homework
3. Have the student create a master notebook-a 3-ring binder where the student organizes (rather than stuffs) papers
4. Limit number of folders used; have the student use hole-punched paper and clearly label all binders on spines; monitor notebooks
5. Have daily and weekly organization and clean up routines
Provide frequent checks of work and systems for organization

To improve follow through:
1. Create work completion routines
2. Provide opportunities for self-correction
3. Accept late work
4. Give partial credit for work partially completed

To improve self-control:

1.Prepare the student for transitions
2.Display rules
3.Give behavior prompts
4. Have clear consequences
5. Provide the student with time to de-stress
6. Allow doodling or other appropriate, mindless motor movement
7. Use activity as a reward
8.Provide more supervision

Memory Boosters
To assist with working memory:

Focus on one concept at a time
List all steps
Write all work down
Use reading guides and plot summaries
Teach note-taking skills-let the student use a study buddy or teacher-prepared notes to fill in gaps
List all key points on board
Provide summaries, study guides, outlines, and lists
Let the student use the computer

To assist with memory retrieval:
Teach the student memory strategies (grouping, chunking, mnemonic devices)
Practice sorting main ideas and details
Teach information and organization skills
Make necessary test accommodations (allow open book tests; use word banks; use other memory cues; test in preferred modality-e.g., orally, fill in blank; give frequent quizzes instead of lengthy tests)
Attention Getters and Keepers

For problems beginning tasks:
Repeat directions
Increase task structure
Highlight or color code directions and other important parts
Teach the student keyword underlining skills
Summarize key information
Give visual cues
Have the class start together

For problems sticking with and finishing tasks:
Add interest and activity to tasks
Divide larger tasks into easily completed segments
Shorten overall tasks
Allow the student choice in tasks
Limit lecture time
Call on the student often

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

J.,
Hi I completely understand about the medication issues. I have my daughter who is ADHD and she also has a mood disorder.I have had my questions about what can be done before any meds are or have a need to be taken. My advise would be check with your insurance carrier and take him to a child psychologist and they can refer and test him. A good idea to try with him is a rewards book. If you get a conduct report daily and he hasn't had any issues in school give him a smiley face and for the homework when he gets it done without any issues (arguements) give another smiley. I am starting this with my kids and I set an alarm clock in my daughter's room and she has a table when she started her work. She has trouble with focusing and getting on track with any work in school and at home. I'd talk to his teachers and get with the principal of his school and see what they can do to help. With the rewards he will be able to pick a reward you make up and place in a baggy and he will be willing to try it. I hope I gave you ideas and they work. Best of luck and prayers.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

Talk to the school and see what resources they have to get him tested. Under the No Child Left Behind Act, your son has a right to special help if he needs it, but it would help if he's identified as ADD first. It might include assigning a paraprofessional to help him stay on task for an hour or so during the school day so the homework is not so overwhelming. As a short-term measure, have the 13-year-old help the 9-year-old with his homework. Pay the teenager with money or privileges he/she wants.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

My dad has actually been doing all sorts of research on this and has found that ADD/ADHD is the brains inability to hang on to vitamin B6. Someone without ADD/ADHD have no trouble doing this and get enough B6 through foods they eat. Someone with ADD/ADHD need quite a bit extra. They now have B6 in a children's chewable. The amount he needs will vary on weight and age which you would need to talk with my dad about that. I do know that if he's not Hyperactive then the dose would possibly be lower than someone who does. My brother has ADHD & OCD and even on medication would have major outburst followed by extreme sleep and almost comma like state. My father got tired of medications not working and began research. He's also helped on the team trying to find a cure for AIDS so it's not like he's just Joe Blow off the street he is a scientist. He has run studies on several people and received great results. If you'd like his phone number let me know.
I forgot to mention that my brother is no longer on medications. Definitely get a positive diagnosis on what it is but if it is ADD then you are at least working with getting him to focus in class. Good Luck

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S.B.

answers from Killeen on

I understand your feelings on the drugs. That's a good attitude to have! My son has ADHD and it's an absolute nightmare! I understand ADD is a little easier to deal with in that sense because they aren't hyperactive. You know your son can do the work, that's good. You have to be a mentor to him and really help him, especially if you don't want to medicate. Get him into some counseling to help out..but ADD is a constant problem, it doesn't go away when you have to help your other kids. Hire a tutor to help him every day.

I know medication is out of the question for you. That's fine. But I must add that my son has advanced dramatically since he has been on Ritalin. I know it's controversial and I know there are side effects, but school is also a number one priority. If he starts to have trouble it can effect his self esteem later. My son now eats better and can sit down and do projects all BY HIMSELF! It's a good feeling. This is all in addition to counseling and tutoring.

And there may be natural alternatives, do some research on that as well. And take him to a psychologist, someone who knows what they're talking about. Don't take my word for it.

I wish you lots of luck and just be thankful that he's not ADHD. HAHA. Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

First of all, I would take him to be evaluated before making any assumptions. Many times something else can be misinterpreted as ADD/ADHD. I did a lot of research on ADD/ADHD about 10 years ago for a class I took in college, and I'm sure there's much more info now for alternatives to meds now thatn there were then but here's what I remember...

A lot of problems can be helped by diet changes (believe it or not!). I know personally that I had some trouble with concentration, etc for quite a while. I've been on a nutritional supplement that's fruit & veggie based for about 3 years now so that I'm getting all the good stuff I need and it's definitely improved. They also have a gummie version for kids that my son takes. Feel free to PM me for more info if you're interested. I don't sell the stuff, but my chiro does.

Another consideration- it possible that he's not stimulated enough? If the classes aren't interesting to him or are oversimplified, kids will tend to play rather than paying attention. This was my problem in school though I was in the G/T program. I didn't do any of my work in school, but always aced the tests. My siblings were put in remedial classes which only amplified the problem. The issue was that they were bored- not stupid or ADD, etc.

Another thing to help with stimulation/concentration is to put him in some sort of martial arts (if this is doable for you & your family). Martial arts helps with self-esteem, self-control, concentration, all sorts of stuff! A friend of mine's son has ADHD, and she does medicate him during the day to help with school, but at night he was still quite a handful. Once she put him in martial arts, he's had a huge improvement & has actually lowered his meds during the day.

It's a controversial issue either way to medicate or not (I'm sure you've gotten some pretty strong responses from both sides). I completely agree with you in wanting to find an alternative treatment. It's a very personal decision and there are so many things to consider.

Best wishes! I hope this helps. I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for, though it may take some research and a LOT of patience.

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S.J.

answers from Houston on

Please take your son to a Doctor for a diagnosis and put that baby on the medication he needs so he can start concentrating. It's nothing wrong if he has ADD he just needs a little help, so he won't be frustrated with learning and so he may obtain an understanding. But you can check with your Doctor to see if there are some natural medicines he can take.

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J.L.

answers from Austin on

I'm sure you'll get lots of responses on this. God bless you for realizing he has a problem. I'm sure there have been some fights during homework or whatever, but once you get your son on the road to helping him, you'll see a remarkable difference. My son is the exact same way. He does not have the hyperactivity, just the focusing. Its still hard when its homework time as his medicine has worn off. Please get this wonderful book called "Delivered From Distraction" I got my copy at Barns and Noble. There is a chapter on medication that calmed me down so much. The difference in ADD medication is that it leaves their system the same day. I'll loan you mine if you don't want to buy it (its around $15). I was so resistant to anything until I spoke with my father who had the same problem, but no one back then knew what to do. He was smart, just could not focus. He was humiliated all throughout his school years. He eventually became an alcoholic to help him slow down his racing thoughts. My son is very well focused in school, he is himself (funny and creative). The medicine we found that worked is called Focalin. We tried one called Concerta and for him it made him too emotional. Its a trial and error. Email me if you want some more input. I have heard that Dr. Kocen (by Lakeline Mall) is an excellent doctor who helps diagnose this. You have to be careful as to how you explain things to your son so he understands he just needs help for his brain to focus. I'll stop now. Keep at it, you'll find the answers.

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

Do a google search for food allergies and ADD and there are some good resources if you want to try natural/herbal first. You could also go to an allergist to have some checked out. Sugar, red dye, milk, egg, and flour are common allergies that no one thinks about that often cause allergic reactions of hyperactivity or distractibility. You can also search for a child psychologist or counsellor who has behavioral approaches for overcoming ADD.

I will tell you, as a teacher and a mom, that if you find NO relief with these methods, that you are doing a great dis-service to your son if you do not try meds. Children with ADD or ADHD are not learning at school. They become frustrated, which may then lead to aggression. I do think there are many, many natural ways to overcome ADD/ADHD, but I also know that these do not always work. Keep an open mind, talk to a professional who believes there are other ways as well, and good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Suggesting that you wouldn't give your son meds if he were ill is ridiculous. I too feel like many doctors are too quick to pump meds into our children for things such as ADD/ADHD BEFORE trying alternative methods. I read in Prevention magazine that a child's diet can have effects like ADD/ADHD. I would do some research on ADD & diet. I hope you find the answers you're looking for. Good luck!
H.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

Are you talking about my son or yours?? My son is 8 and having the same issues in the 3rd grade. He has been a little rambuncious before but now its not that, its a focus problem. We have started the process of having him tested for ADD. If you are a parent like me who does not want your child doped up, I would suggest going thru a child psycologist or counselor instead of just your normal dr. Our Pediatricain won't prescribe medication unless they have been totally evaluated by a counselor or psycologist. I thnk that is great! Most insurance covers it as well. Just look on the back of your insurance card and it should say for mental health services call this number. Call it and ask what kind of coverage you have. The testing and counseling sessions are costing up a $20 copay. I would give the advice that a very wise teacher gave me.... if he were running 101 fever you would take him to the dr cause you know somethings not right. you owe him as a mom to do everything you can to make life better for him. have him tested to illiminate what is not wrong with him. then you work from there. if it is ADD then you know what you are dealing with and go from there. If its not, then you explore other options. Your son, like mine deserves the best chances in life. I would have him tested!!!

D. Mattern-Muck
http://www.formyrugats.com

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

I am going through this now too with my nine year old. He finsihes work sometimes but other times he doesnt or he make good grades some days and other days he doesn't. My doctor gave me a lssit to take to his teacher and starting next week we are going to try the lowest dosage of medicine call metadane. It doesn't make them become a zommbie just help them to contrater. I hopes this helps.

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D.I.

answers from San Antonio on

I have a 10 year old son and had to do the same thing with him. I had to just sit with him and keep telling him to pay attention and do your work. It was very frustrating with him because I too have another son. My son has tourettes syndrom and we believe ADD. We have not put him on meds either. I just keep telling him to pay attention as does his teachers and that seems to keep him on track.

The good thing is this year in 5th grade and being 10 he seems to have matured and can do his work on his own without me sitting with him. I still have to remind him sometimes to stay on track, but it's nothing compared to the prior years.

With him being ADD I watch his sugar intake, red and blue dyes. I also switched my cleaning products and personal products to a healthy product line that took all the nasty chemicals out of our home. It seems like doing this has helped him a lot.

Good luck!

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

Before deciding whether to medicate or not,have you child tested.Usually your sons dr. will do the test.We had our son tested and the test consisted of paperwork(questionnaire)for the teacher to fill out and for us to fill out.
It turned out our son doesn't have ADD.
I feel for you and it is a hard thing to do.
But if your son had ADD and medicine could help him, why not try it for a month and see if it works.
Also, there are probably different medicines and dosages that might work.
Keep in mind that if your son had an illness that could be treated with medicine would you not give it to him to make him better just because you don't want to medicate him.
Talk to your son. He might want something to make himself better. Is he aware of what is going on?
Does he feel bad about himself because of what is going on?

This a hard thing to deal with.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

My daughter, who is now grown, went through pretty much the same thing while in the first grade. It was nerve wracking at home to try and get her to finish her work. They found out she was ADD and Dyslexic. She went to classes for Dyslexia and that made a lot of difference. She never had to go on the medicine for ADD but as an teacher,I can tell you the medicine does work. Of course it is a personal choice you have to decide on but it has helped a lot of kids I work with. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi J.,

I just wanted to first say congrats to you on not wanting to medicate your child. I have an almost 8 year old and he has ADD/ADHD. I don't think medicating him is the answer. The last resort maybe but not a need right at this time.

I also want to say that all these moms on here saying that your not a good mom because your not wanting to help him by medicating him MUST NOT know what it is like to treat a child this way. I know medication is out there to help treat children for this condition but like ALL conditions, there are ALWAYS alternatives to fixing a problem. To the mom that states that if your child was diagnoised with diabetes would you withhold insulin. Well if she knew anything about diabetes, not every child would be insulin based. Also, there are natural ways to prevent as well as control diabetes without medication. Usually depending on how severe the diabetes as well as what type, your Dr. would give you suggestions and options to choose from and of course medication or insulin injections if need be. I mean that was the most ignorant comment I have heard. I am a healthcare worker so statements as such really set me off. That's just as bad as telling someone who has high cholesterol on the verge of a heart attack and saying you have to take a statin or you will have a heart attack. NO, if you decide to look at the overall picture of your health and make some life changes such as cutting fried, fatty foods, lose weight and get some exercise in daily you can change how your cholesterol levels are. Yes, there are times when you can do everything right and the last resort is taking medication to help get you back on the right track but do right by your body first and then see how you feel when you train to work for you the way it is suppose to.

I am for diet changes. It does help when you get all those bad colors and dyes and additives that most can't pronounce from his diet. You will see how his body functions differently and on a positive note. I am not for medication solves everything because I see everyday how that is not always so. Continue to do research and see all your options as well as continue to get advice from his physician. I could go on and on but I do wish you well and don't let anyone say your a bad mother because you are taking precautions with your son's life and well being.

Thanks and good luck,
D.

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C.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Work with his teacher and see about getting him into an LD class to see if it helps. In case you aren't familiar, these are usually one on one classes that the child goes to for a couple of hours a day to finish their classwork. It's for children with learning delays or learning dicipline problems.

As for home, do 15 minutes of homework and 15 minutes of play. Slowly, after a few days or weeks build up to 30 minutes of homework and 10 minutes of play. I've worked with ADD kids in the past, in the classroom setting (an assistant for LD class) and i've sometimes used this meathod to get them to do their work. Of course I didn't give them 15 minutes, I'd give them 5 to walk around or read a book or play as long as they didn't disturb the other students. Then they had to come sit with me for 30 minutes to do work and of course i'd make it as fun as I could. Usually all it is is that they are restless and need to move, plus they may be daydreaming about what they'd rather be doing besides homework lol. Getting them up and moving is the best way to get their attention back IMO. The worst thing you can do is make them sit there for hours until they finish.

It's my opinion that ADD (not ADHD, just ADD) can be "cured" without prescriptions. It takes a LOT of patience and dicipline on your part and it takes your child learning enough dicipline to be able to overcome it. Also, when they are older ginko tablets can help too, especially when studying. My husband has this and has learned to mute it a bit through dicipline, so it can be done, just takes time. Good luck!

Oh, ps... if you do choose to do this meathod the child WILL bug you about "is it time for play yet?" every two seconds. To prevent this I would set a timer and tell them they would hear a ring when homework time and play time were over. The understanding was that if they delayed homework time i'd add extra an extra minute and if they kept asking when it was play time i'd add extra time. After a couple of times of extended homework time they get the idea haha!

M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

As an experienced teacher I can tell you that it is ADD. In a busy classroom with even more distractions going on it is impossible to get a child with ADD to finish anything. I do not recommend medication to anyone unless it affects their academics, but when they can not finish anything and get fussed at every day for not doing their work they benefit so much from medication. It is like expecting a child to deal with any other medical condition without it. Give it a try and you will be amazed at the difference and the difference in his self esteem when he becomes sucessful in school.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

Try the diet changes, restrict sugar, all of the good things everyone else has suggested. BUT- if your son were diabetic, would you not give him insulin because you don't want to give him drugs? For some ADD kids the drugs are life changing in a positive way. This is about what your child needs, not just what you want. Good luck.
Life is good, but life is crazy....

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M.D.

answers from Houston on

At one point, I thought my son may potentially have this too. His teacher told me when he was in the 1st grade that academically he was at the top of his class, but behavior wise, he was at the bottom. He is of course one of the youngest because he is a July baby, so I always contributed his age to this situation as well. Anyhow, my son is also somewhat of a perfectionist. It takes him hours to finish his work where other kids are already outside and playing an hour after getting home from school. What I so is make sure that he is fed when he gets home, changed and goes straight to getting his work done. On average it will take about 3 hours a night, but it is completely done and then some. He is easily distracted, so we can't have any company over and there can be no TV on where it can be heard. I check on him every now and then to make sure he is staying on task cause even him sitting back to think about a homework problem can get him distracted about something else. So, my mom duty is to make sure all is quiet, he is fed for some brain power and I make routine visits to amke sure he is on task.

By the way an amazing book to read is Boys Adrift: 5 factors of unmotivated boys by Leonard Sax.

It is full of great information about Boys, starting school and how to motivate them to keep focused.

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P.A.

answers from Houston on

Does he have any problems with reading and/or writing? If so, I woudl suggest having his vision tested by a specialist. When my younger daughter was in 3rd grade, we found out she has a vision problem and she had several symptoms of ADD. Our specialist even told us 3rd grade is when he starts seeing a lot of kids being put on ADD medications because the parents don't realize there is another issue that needs to be dealt with.

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

I truly admire you for not wanting to medicate your child. However, after 16 years of teachers calling, bad grades, etc...AND trying every vitamin mix, supplement, diet change, etc...I finally had to put my 16 year old on ADD medication. My husband and I truly did not and still do not want this, but OMG...his grades are better, no more phone calls and emails, he finally got himself organized - he really DID need this. I feel bad waiting so long to help him (even though I tried with other methods) - I even put pure lavendar oil on his feet and forehead because I heard that helped. I do encourage you to try natural (you may have better luck) - but also don't be afraid to try the medication if nothing else works.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I had learning dissabilities as a child. I got modified tests and home work. I could sit and be calm and do my best but if he is trying for hours and actually trying looking at the paper not jumping up and trying to play or changing the conversation every three seconds. I would look into properly diagnosing him first. I am with you I would hate to have to put him on meds for this. I do not know of anything natural to help try contacting a natural homopathy center...I think is what it is called.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

He sounds like a normal boy. Most boys don't care about homework, much less doing it neatly. Have you tried disciplining when he doesn't complete his homework by a certain time? Make him sit at the dining room table, no tv, no music, no computer, nothing but the dining room table and he can't get up until he's completed it (even if it's not done to the best of his ability). After a few hours and days of this, I'm sure he will turn it in to you. He can't put his head down, he can't sleep, he has to sit there staring at it. He can ask questions, but he has to do it. (I would give a break right after school, maybe. But, when the time comes to do homework, he has to sit there where you can see him.) That's what I would try. Just a note: he could be gifted in some way. Many gifted or even just very smart children are bored to death with homework. They know it is a waste of time.

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

I agree with some of the other responses. You need to have him tested. ADD is a learning disability, there are also other learning disabilities that may explain his behavior, so until you know exactly what you are dealing with it's hard to find the best treatment.

My sister has severe ADHD and my brother in law has ADD and dyslexia. There are some natural ways but none work all the time, just like meds do not work all the time. Go through the school for the testing, unless you have mental health coverage through your insurance testing can be expensive out of your pocket. PLus having the school take care of the testing will make them accountable for their responsibility toward his education. I can't believe that they are forcing him to miss recess every day when he obviously needs some extra help. If I were you I'd be throwing a fit at the principal!

I hope it works out for you. I know my mom (and now my sister with her daughter) had to fight with the school to get all the testing and get my sister in the correct classes etc etc.

Hang in there, this too shall pass!!

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M.D.

answers from Victoria on

That is always a tough thing to deal with, my nephew has adhd, and has been to several schools. When you look into it make sure you look into both add and adhd. ADD is a learning disability while ADHD is a behavioral disorder. Most don't realize what a big difference there is between the two. Best of luck to you and your family!
Many Blessings

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi J., I know you've had a lot of responses but I thought you might want to check this out. I honestly do not have personal experience with ADD but my daughter has many of the symptoms so I've been doing some online research. I came across this e-book and it is written by a man whose son has add or adhd (can't remember) so maybe it will be useful to you. If the link doesn't work just copy or type the website into your URL address line.

http://3stepsadd.com/

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B.R.

answers from Austin on

Hi J.,

First, let me say that I know exactly how you feel. Two years ago we adopted a son. We knew that he'd had a traumatic past, and we'd have a lot to deal with, but it took a year and a half of testing to find out exactly what we were working with. I could spend all evening, every evening sitting with him to get him to do his work. And believe me, he comes home with plenty. Between simple daily assignments and all the unfinished work of the day, it adds up. Most kids could finish in an hour, but it takes him all evening.

While exploring his situation, and different options to help him, we discovered a company called Nikken. Nikken offers top quality, all-natural products to improve the health of anyone. Nikken products improve the quality of the air we breathe, the water we drink, the sleep we get, (and that's a critical one for your son), and the nutrition our bodies can use effectively. They also offer natural ways to relieve pain. I was so impressed with the company that I went to work with them.

If you're interested, I'd be happy to share a recording featuring a pediatrician who used to write over 800 prescriptions a month for stimulant drugs to treat ADD and ADHD. She now recommends the Nikken Wellness Home to her patients instead. She found that the components of the Nikken Wellness Home--Air Purifier, Water System, Sleep System, Magnetic therapy products, and nutritional supplements, were much more effective in treating the symptoms of ADD and ADHD than medication.

Please visit my website at www.nikken.com/brendaramsey to learn more. There are several informative videos and contact information available there.

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K.M.

answers from Houston on

Both of my stepsons have ADHD. When my husband and I first got together, I knew that was the problem. I talked to teachers, and doctors, but my husband didnt want to talk about it. I tried to talk to him about it and he had the same reaction you have..."My children are NOT going on ANY kind of drugs!!" Dustin got farther and farther behind in school and had to take kindergarden over. Well, I got him to agree to take Dustin to a behavioral specialist and he agreed Dustin had ADHD...the most severe case he had ever seen. He helped me convince my husband to put Dustin on meds..just to try them and see what would happen. We could take Dustin off the meds at any time, since they are only active in his system for 12 hrs, and then they are gone. My husband agreed to try them, I think maybe just to make me shut up. Three days later my husband asked me if Dustin was talking clearer (he had been in speech classes since he started pre-k). I told my husband, sure he was talking clearer since his brain wasnt racing so far ahead of his mouth, and he could concentrate better. The teachers saw an immediate difference in him. He wasnt mean to other kids, and he participated in class. His classwork and homework got done, and his grades started going up. Today Dustin is 10 yrs old, and has been on the meds since he was 5. My second stepson has also been diagnosed, although not with as severe a case. He takes a different kind of med. My boys only take the meds on school days, and by 7 at night the meds are out of their system ( and everyone can tell!). Our doctor says he might be able to stop taking them once he reaches puberty. The meds helped keep Dustin out of trouble, and he has become a very well adjusted, normal, happy child, when he used to be angry, and upset, and very depressed before. I dont like any kind of chemical or medication either, but I believe that some are necessary. If we had not gotten Dustin help right now I dont know where he would be. Please think about your childs best interest, and dont say you wont do something without weighing all the consequences first.

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T.L.

answers from Austin on

Hi J.,
The first thing you need to do is have him diagnosed.If he goes to public school all you have to do is speak to his counselor and she'll direct you on what steps need to be taken so the school will test him for free.they have to test him if this is a concern of yours.I went through the same thing w/my oldest son 11 years ago.Hes now 17 and now i'm having to have my 8 yr. old tested because hes having the same symtoms my oldest had.I spoke to his teacher and she looked into it sent home a paper that i fill out the teacher fills out and then our pediatrician will fill out w/a diagnoses from our concerns from the paper we filled out.Then the doc will okay for him to be tested .It's a process but not a long one and one well worth it,because in the long run it's going to help your son.I know medicating sounds terrible but now adays meds have improved.They even have one my son took called Aderral that is a time release capsule thats taken in the morning and by four its done its job for the day.And overall it helps my son beable to do his work and concentrate.I wish you luck in any decision you make but the first step is to talk to his teacher or counselor and start the process in having him tested,cause if you don't do this for him no one will and think about his selfesteem how it affects him not being able to go play w/all the rest of his friends.It's not his fault and modifications have to be done for his learning.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

OK, first off - the LAST thing your son needs is to be deprived of recess. Little bodies cannot sit still and focus all day without some running around to let off steam. The lack of recess is actually contributing to the problem.

Second - if you think your child has ADD, you can request evaluation through the school. School systems provide trained child psychologists for review and evaluation. Do NOT let the school move him into LD or anything else prior to a full evaluation.

Third - once you have an evaluation, take the time and spend the money to get a second opinion from a LICENSED child psychologist (not a therapist or counselor). There are a lot of fads and a lot of people happy to hand out pills to keep your child quiet. Never accept the verdict of one person. Psychology is as much art as science and is prone to fads like every other field.

Fourth - it sounds silly, but keep an eye on his diet. Too much corn (which the body can't digest) and processed foods can have quite the effect on kids with certain sensitivities. Juice, sodas and other sources of excess sugar should also be monitored.

Finally, there are behavioral treatments and positive reinforcement techniques that can be used in lieu of medication. Since your son does finish his work when he has a lot of focused help, he may well be one of those children who can bypass medication with the use of other methods. Part of that will be teaching him how to focus and break down tasks into discreet elements that are not overwhelming to him. Which, btw, should also allow you to not have to focus on him quite so much.

Hope this helps.

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

i know exactly where you are. we had the same issues and more we could not get the help or testing thru the school district and had our own testing done and yes ADHD i was like you totally against drugs of any kind for my son BUT aftr trying him on medication and seeing how it changed his life around in school it changed my mind.other things you can try is less suger.best of luck

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K.L.

answers from Beaumont on

To properly diagnose your son, you need to have a FULL PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION done. Your pediatrician should be able to get you a referral. The small form most schools/drs hand out is in no way complete enough for a child to be diagnosed. If he is diagnosed with ADD/HD, then you can discuss treatment options with your pediatrician. It is imperative that you get the proper diagnosis. From there, you can do research on alternative treatments and ways to help your son. You can also look in your area for a CHADD group.

CHADD is an organization dedicated to helping children and adults with ADD/HD. I wish you the best of luck.

K.

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B.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My son was dxed with ADHD, combined type, when he was in K. He is now in 5th, and we have never medicated. If your son has ADD, there are several things you can do.

First, I would start him on Omega 3 fish oil supplements. They do seem to have made a difference in my son, but it will take at least a few months to see any results.

Also, do you break the homework up in blocks of time? How long can your son sit still and concentrate? If it is 15 minutes, have him work for 15, take a break and move or something, and then come back and work for another 15 minutes. It will help if any task you give your son is broken up into small doable parts rather than overwhelming him with the whole thing. My son can do his math before dinner, then later work on his English, but not everything all at once because that overwhelms him.

Does your son understand the subject matter? It may be a good idea to have him tested to make sure he doesn't have any type of learning disability. Many other things can mimic adhd/add.

If your son has ADD and it is interfering with his education, you can request modifications at school if you feel it would help. Some modifications are less of the same amount of homework, or longer times on tests. Also, by not allowing your son recess, the school is shooting itself in the foot. Studies show that time outdoors really does allow children with adhd/add to focus better. Not to mention, the chance to move around and get his blood flowing to his brain may help your son do better at school. If missing recess isn't helping the problem, I would ask for a meeting at the school to come up with a better solution. He should not miss recess every day.

Other things you can do is to allow your son to have a "fidget" in his hands. Sometimes keeping the hands busy allows the mind to pay better attention. A good martial arts program can help teach focus and concentration. My son did a computer program at a psychologist's office that helped to train his brain how to focus. You could see the increase in his scores of focus ability from before and after the program. There are ways to train the brain how to focus, but it takes time.

All in all, a combination of approaches works best. No one thing is a magic cure, but put it all together and with time, you may see a big difference. Also, undestand that many people are coming to believe that adhd/add is a different learning style and schools tend to not teach to that learning style. Also, adhd/add is associated with creativity and intelligence. Read "Dreamers, Discovers, and Dynamos: How to help the Child who is Bright, Bored, and having Trouble at School" by Pallidino for more info on the thinking style of adhd/add.

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J.L.

answers from Austin on

My 11 yr old son has ADD. Go to a good child psychologist and they can diagnose whether your son has it or not. There is a test they do. It takes a while on the computer, but it gives you a lot of information.

Also, have your school diagnostician do an evaluation. I had a really great one done for my son that showed EXACTLY where he needed help, such as his recall time and comprehension. This is invaluable information and will be able to get your son a Section 504, which will then give him the modifications he needs in the classroom. He will not be labeled as special education with a Sec. 504. My son has one and it really helps him and his teachers.

Also, I did not go the medication route. I don't believe in it. I give my son the vitamins from Melaleuca.com. I could go into all the differences these vitamins offer over the rest in the stores and online, but that would be too much information for this email. Basically, one of the problems with ADD is that nutrients don't get to where they are needed in the brain. Melaleluca's vitamines have a very high absorption rate and to not generate free radical activity like most other vitamins do. Go to www.melaleuca.com to find out more about Oligofructose Complex (patent pending).

My son is doing great, just started middle school this year and is getting all A's and B's and getting his work done! We were really nervous about him starting middle school, but he really is enjoying school. Teaching him about ADD and how to manage it is important. Also, sports and great and my son is playing the clarinet in the band. He is getting so much out it and his self esteem is great!

Good luck. If you need anything please feel to call me at ###-###-####. I know how worried you are right now in not knowing what to expect or what to do. I was in your shoes 4 years ago, so I really do understand.

J. Lanz
____@____.com
www.melaleuca.com
www.saferforyourhome.com
www.livetotalwellness.com

I am a very loyal customer of Melaleuca because I really believe in the products and how awesome they are! I don't really run a business with Melaleuca.

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U.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi J.,

I know what you're going through, I'm right there with you. I have been a teacher,though, and what I think is ADD (I'm not a psychiatrist and am not qualified to diagnose) is something that can have lots and lots of symptoms that are really abnormal.

I don't know what other kinds of behavior your son exhibits, but I would not be quick to jump into that diagnosis. Partly because of how the school might view him and how he might view himself.

One thing I realize with my daughter, who has the same school problem, is that the work she is asked to do just bores her. It is hard to sit still and concentrate so she does not. The result is that we stay after school every single day until her homework is done. There are no rewards, no treats, but also no anger or frustration with her. Her choices are hers and if she chooses not to do her work in class then she chooses not to have free time in the evening. This sucks, frankly, but I don't know what else to do, either. I'm hoping that one day she will grow out of it. Until then my mantra is, "love is patient, love is kind..."

Gosh, I really have no advice. I wish you the best, though.

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J.A.

answers from Houston on

I would definitely take him to a dr to be evaluated. As for natural treatments, that's another matter. One of the best things to do for ANY kid is to give them Omega fatty acids. It takes time to see improvement, but in 3-6 months, there will be an improvement in concentration.
Rather than just outright saying "no" to medication, you might want to talk to your son about it. He might have a different opinion about it. Not all medications are evil. In order to truly go the non-medication route, the best thing to do is see a holistic doctor after any diagnosis. Going to the health food store & getting suppliments won't do anything to help your son. They are too general.
Hope you find what helps your son.

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

Have you had his eyes checked or had him tested for dyslexia? It may not be as serious as ADHD or ADD unless you see it affect other areas of his life. Sometimes it is just a focus thing. Have his teacher evaluate him certainly. Maybe he can have outside playtime after school before homework so he can run out some of his exess energy before he is required to sit and do his homework. If this child needs you more than the others, find ways to spend other times with the others...your son may actually use this time to get comfort from the attention you give him "helping" him. Positive, reinforcing words will help him gain the confidence he needs to do the work himself. Maybe there are just some confidence issues there...he is afraid to do the work wrong so he needs you to guide it all. Anyway, good luck and God bless.

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M.G.

answers from Odessa on

Hi i'am a 29, year old mom and i have nine kids and my son is six's years old about to be seven and his in first grade and i have the same problem as well he just doesn't do any thing,not his work and he doesn't listen at all cause he's to busy playing and he even goes to sleep in class and he always has to be making all kinds of noise with his feet, hands and mouth that i'am always being called to the school, that i just don't know what to do either cause it's just not fare to my other one's my other kids as well, but no more i said so now i just let him be and now he doing a little bet better and now i see that he just wanted attention cause he's doing mush better and i don't get called to the school any more, so good luck with your son. SINCERLY M.J

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S.L.

answers from Houston on

Have you ruled out all the other possibilities?
Does he need glasses, dyslexia, etc? I would first have him tested for these items, and, then, if ruled out, have him tested for ADD. It is important for him to be tested so you can know for sure what you are up against. If confirmed, there are many "alternative" doctors in the Houston area who can help you without medication. One of my daughter's friends was diagnosed, and, her mother completely cured her by simply changing her diet. It took some time, but, she had a 100% turnaround within months by simply changing her diet. It was also important for her to be involved in a physical extra-curricular activity to help release any stress and energy.

Google Dr. Sears, he has great suggestions for diets, and, sells great products that are natural for helping ADD and ADHD children. I remember off the top of my head one of the products he recommends over and over again is blueberries!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

I was so there with you on the NO DRUG thing until it got too bad and I knew he needed more help than I could keep giving, plus you could tell my son was so frustrated and his spirit getting low! I put him on Straterra a non stimuliant and it worked! Work is getting done and behavior is better!!! I would look for a non med first and see what hapens but don't be too close minded like I was to help him along by using a med. Hope you find some answers.

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L.F.

answers from Houston on

Check out www.yourhealthyalternatives.com for specifics & what others in your shoes have tried with success on ADD.If you contact them ,they can also send you awesome additional info via email.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

If your son had strep throat, would you refuse to give him antibiotics? I am not saying you MUST give him drugs, but saying you WON'T automatically counts out some very good options. I taught high school for 38 years and saw what happened to boys (mostly) who did/did not take medication. I know you want whatever is best for your son; please take him to the pediatrician for an initial evaulation ASAP!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

You have received so much great advice. In addition to talking with your doc, try talking with his teacher. She would add some valuable insight into his symptoms. Good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Houston on

If you are wondering about ADD, the best thing you could do is take him to a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) and have him tested for ADHD/ADD. PSychologists are the only ones qualified to do these assessments. They can also work with you and your child to find ways to deal with the symptoms. Most are very open to not medicating unless absolutely necessary. If you go to a psychiatrist or your family doctor they may just jump to meds and if it's truly not ADD, that could have horrible consequences. So, definetely look into a psychologist for testing before anything else. If it's not ADHD, they can also work with your son to see what is causing him difficulties now. So many people jump to ADHD as a diagnosis, but it's not as simple as it seems. There are many many other things that could be going on.

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

My son was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD. He is now 6 1/2. My husband and I did not want to put him on narcotic drugs with all of their side effects, i.e. reduced appetite, stunted growth.

I, instead, went to our local health food store, Peak Nutrition, and asked them about something. They had several products. I chose ATTEND by VAXA. It's a homeopathic all natural pill. It does not effect his appetite or have any other side effects.

As directed on the bottle, we began by giving him 1 pill in the AM. After a few weeks we still weren't seeing a drastic change, so we upped it to 2 pills in the AM. Almost immediately his teacher changed in his behavior. He could sit still and concentrate.

At home we noticed he would sit and color, something he had never enjoyed before. Always before he would scribble one color on the page and be done. Now, he will sit and carefully color each part.

Homework can still be tricky. He is a VERY smart little boy, sometimes too smart for his own good. But, he's having some trouble learning his sounds with the alphabet. We are thinking he might have some dyslexia, but haven't tested for it yet. He is brilliant in Math and loves Science, so homework with them is a breeze. Reading/Language/Spelling homework is another story. It's a little tough for him, so he whines, moanes, grones, etc. throughout. I see it in a lot of kids, if it's a little tough, they try to get out of doing it.

Schedule a visit with his doctor and have he/she refer you to a child psychologist. Ours was all for the alternative med. She believes that whatever works for each child is best.

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M.R.

answers from Houston on

With being a school teacher, I have seen this quite often. There are a few questions I would ask myself:
1) Does he have trouble with reading?
2) When did this problem begin?
3) Have you asked to have him tested for anything?
4) How is his relationship with his teacher?

By law they are not allowed to take recess away day after day, so the teacher will need to find another way to encourage the child to learn. I have found that if they are having trouble at school, such as reading, they struggle in almost every area due to being overwhelmed and not knowing any other way to handle it, they stop doing their work. The teacher may become frustrated because our hands are tied on what we can do as educators. The teachers need to know they have your support and are willing to work with their child or else the child will know "what they can get away with" if you are not backing the teacher. I would have a conference with the teacher and find out what you can do as a team to help your child become successful. Before I would label him as ADD I would seriously ask to have him tested to see where he is at on a "normal" scale. I feel for you and your child because it can be frustrating and overwhelming for both, but the teacher should find out the best way your child will learn and work with it!

I hope this helps some!
M.

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F.U.

answers from Houston on

Hi J.

My 7 year old boy was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I am choosing not medicate. I have him on OMEGA oils and trying to monitor his diet. FEINGOLD Diet is good way to go. I also have him on the PACE Program at THE WOODLANDS LEARNING CENTER.
They have a web site. But this is the number just in case ###-###-#### and the provider's name is Karen.
I also break down his homework in small increments as not to overwhelm him. Do alot of praising and set up a reward system. And most of all make sure he getting exercise at home also. Let him ride his bike before he does his homework. OXYGEN to the brain. Yea! Good Luck J..

F.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi J.,

I have two children and both kids have had challenges with learning. When our daughter was 5, we were told (just from the school district) that she was "somewhere on the autism spectrum". We did some research and put her on the gluten and casein free diet. She did such a turn around! The research also said it might work for ADD/ADHD as well. So since we had one child on this new way of eating, we tried it for our son as well. We were amazed at the difference!

There is a book I bought on Amazon.com called The Kid-Friendly ADHD & Autism cookbook...The Utimate Guide to the Gluten-free, Casein-free Diet What it is*Why it Works*How to Do It by Pamela J. Compart, M.D. & Dana Laake dietian

The explaination is great and easy to understand. Our kids have been on this way of eating now for two and a half years. They were very short in stature before and now have been really growing. Part of it (for us) was that our daughter wasn't absorbing any of the nutrients in her food. Basically, they were both malnourished. Our son had night terrors before (which of course would affect any kid with attention issues) and now, they are at a minimum. Our daughter really wasn't talking and now she's going on girlscout outtings by herself!

With our son (the one that's ADD), certain things make more of a difference for him than our daughter. He seems to be more affected by RED DYE 40, and saliciates and nitrites. You can buy bacon and lunch meat now w/o nitrites. Saliciates are naturally occuring in apples. They interupt neuro-transmitters. In otherwords, they can cause the brain to not be able to communicate well enough to different parts of itself. So, we do pears or white grapes instead. This info on saliciates can be found in a google search for Feingold Diet.

I know all this can seem a bit overwhelming, but it's been totally worth it for our kids. I've seen a huge difference switching from cows milk to almond or potato milk. Don't switch to soy b/c they can cause breast buds in boys. (natural estrogens) I'm glad to help you if you have any questions. Oh and alot of moms said about the Omega's were just right on the money! Very, very important. I also give them a probiotic to help boost their immune system.

If you want to go meds free, dietary changes will really help. I do agree with the structured idea on homework! We have a mini-trampoline inside just for homework reward. We set the timer. Work hard for 15 minutes, get a 5 minute jump break! Good luck, you sound like a wonderful caring mom!

S.

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M.F.

answers from El Paso on

As a teacher for over 20 years, it really angers me when parents decide their child may be ADD but will not consider drug therapy as a means to control it. Especially children who have been diagnosed with ADHD. Sometimes it takes awhile for the right drug to work, the right dosage to work, but ask any teacher or child who has had drugs work for them, they are elated - the classroom is not a battleground, the child's life is not one frustration and outburst after another. ADD is a short circuit problem in the brain - people do not out grow it usually - adults who can't keep a job, stay in one profession or one relationship are probably undiagnosed ADD patients. Go to a pediatrician who with the help of your child's teacher and you as parents, can pinpoint the problem and don't be afraid to better your child's life through drug therapy if that is what the doctor orders. He will thank you down the road of life!

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C.S.

answers from Austin on

OMEGA 3/ DHA vitamins - I buy the Omegalicious from Whole Foods and can tell a HUGE difference in my son's focus and ocncentration (and so can his teacher!).

Also - remove as much sugar and artificial colors out of his diet, at least on school mornings & school days. Start his day w/ PROTEIN (who said they can't have grilled cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, turkey & cheese for breakfast!)

You'll notice a MAJOR different in him by controling the foods / supplemets you give him.

Feel free to send me an email off Mamasource if you want more. I've spent TONS of time doing ADD/ADHD research, met with a nutritionist & nervous system specialist. GOOD LUCK and you can do this!

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