If You WERE the Grammar Police...JFF

The two biggies on THIS site that drive me crazy are lose and loose, and advise and advice. How do people mix these up? They are spelled differently, sound different and have completely different meanings. grrr!

ANY word that is misspelled bothers me. When I type a status update on fb and I see a word I misspelled, it will bother me to the point of me deleting the update....and re typing it correctly. I am that bad...but I am a writer, so maybe that is why. : )

If I were the grammar police, I'd have something along the lines of Article 134 of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice---otherwise known as 'The Catch-All Clause): "Though not specifically mentioned in this chapter, all disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good (spelling and grammatical) discipline on forums...." ( My changes to Article 134 in parentheses.)The offenses are too varied, so a catch-all clause would be necessary.

Loving the previous posts. See...there's such a variety of pet peeves here.

What I love about myself is that I can still read and comprehend most of the posts that have extremely bad grammar.

Let us pat ourselves on the back if we are intelligent enough to know the difference, and be a little more forgiving to those that never "got" English while in school.

Any and all of those stupid acronyms. Top of the list DH.

I would also love if someone could explain why DS is used instead of he? It uses O. more keystroke, the shift key, so I am not buying it is easier. :p

"Let's eat Grandma!"

"Let's eat, Grandma!"

Punctuation saves lives....

Your pretty.

I like there house.

I went threw all my paperwork.

To be honest with you, I really dont let it bother me, I know grammar rights and wrongs, but sometimes brain farts and typos happen to the best of us!

PS- I did have to giggle when this girl on fb said she couldnt wait to go to her "Bomb Fire". If I were her, I would have to stay away from that! lol

my pet peeve is the run-on sentence you know like when people dont use periods commas or capital letters to start a sentence and it really drives me bonkers because it makes the person sound like my 5 year old when he really really wants some m&ms and i wont give him what he wants. :)

Occasional text language, intentional use of vernacular slang, and occasional errors to not phase me.

Consistent use of "then" for "than" does make my teeth itch, especially in formal documents (I review and write technical documents for work and I see this too often). Consistent misspelling of "ridiculous" irritates me, especially when it's coupled with some snotty, judgmental pronoucement about *what* is ridiculous.

Confusion regarding "advise" (verb) and "advice" (noun) do not make me happy. "Irregardless" is not a favorite. And personally, I'd like to kick "proactive" to the curb (you cannot act in advance), though I do end up using it at work.

That said, I try really hard not to correct other people's grammar in any informal setting. I make plenty of mistakes too, and unknowingly misspelled "maintenance" for years (I spelled it "maintainance"). Yep, I pre-date spell check. And as a document writer and reviewer, I have to say, we *all* make errors - lots of them.

I have to thank you for this judgment-free chance to vent though!

not so much citations but really...knowing what a word means...

like the difference between:
* there (we are going there)
* their (is that their home?) and
* they're (they're sweet people)

Your - we are going to your house.
You're - You're going to be late.

accept - I accept your offer.
except - ....that would be great, except we already have plans.

Knowing how to phrase a statement:
Rachel and me - NO - Rachel and I.

run on sentences.
"prolly" just shows ignorance or is it stupidity? I don't know.

when talking to someone and they say "let me axe you a question" - my retort is "that will hurt. Why don't you ASK me instead?"

The incorrect use of "literally." Listen for it, and you might be surprised how often it is misused. It literally makes me want to yank my ears off (ok, not literally, but maybe figuratively).

LOL I love all of these. I would add:

"Wallah" is not a word...you probably mean "voila!"

Lose/loose and prolly drive me crazy too.

O. of my sisters had to take an English 101 class in college. After a round of essays, the professor had to inform the class that "furstiball" is not a word and even spelled correctly, "first of all" is no way to start an essay. Too funny.

"Mute" point.

Ugh, it's MOOT point, people! Rhymes with Boot!

HUBBY.

Makes me WANNA spit.

But then I guess ya'll already know that, huh?

;{

affect or effect? I've had trouble using these....
I'm sure there is some trick to it..

Is "prolly" a mispronunciation of "probably"? Is that a grammer issue? I personally can't stand when people use text language on an internet post and it's so hard to read! I hope these people don't use text language to write papers at school!

I am a grammar and spelling nazi, but on here and on fb, I ignore it, even though it irritates me. Everything previously mentioned bugs the heck out of me, but as someone else pointed out, I can BARELY add 10 + 10! The true citations from my book would go to the run on sentences. I remember O. several weeks ago that was a hugely long post with not O. single period. After I waded through the first quarter of it, trying to keep it straight in my head, I gave up.

itsacrazylife - there is O. poster HERE that I want to break her comma key.

Honestly, my biggest problem is when someone tries to sound ultra intelligent and then can't spell. It is hard for me to take them seriously.

It's funny that you chose the subject for this post that you did. Grammar is a huge thing for my sister and I asked her once whether "If I was..." or "If I were..." is correct and she didn't know! So I still don't know. Which is it????

Anyway, the biggest O. bugging me lately is the misuse of the apostrophe when trying to make a word plural, such as "any of you mommy's out there..." It's MOMMIES! argh! I really hate that O.. I can't believe how often people put an apostrophe when they want to make something plural.

I also hate their/there/they're, your/you're, its/it's etc. Should of is another pet peeve.

Why do so many people ask for advise when they really want advice? I guess that is more spelling than grammar, but I still notice it every time (daily on mamapedia). The mispronunciation of realtor (real-a-tor) and jewelry (jewl-a-ry) also gets me every time. Those words don't have an "a" in the middle, so people don't need to pronounce them as if they do.

Finally, the phrase "I could care less" really bugs me. Think about it. If you COULD care less, that means you care.

I could go on and on, but it's midnight and I should *prolly* go to bed.

how about none....u dont know whats on the other side of that keyboard and most posts here are stress buttons to start with. why add to the misery? its not like everyone here has posted the most perfect post ever....who would want the job anyways...it be a hard fall if they ever made a typo after a criticism. but seeing how my SS is and the new way teaching of not teaching in schools, u all are going to have to get over the grammer/grammar...hell we elected a president worse then me once...and tomato/tomatoe...come on. lol. oops...did i use text lingo? egads.

This is why I loooooooooove Editors, proof readers, and it took me years to do any kind of message boarding/blogging/etc....to get to the point where I could just brazenly hit "Post" when I'm online.

((Peg, btw., has saved my tush on a number of occasions.))

I wouldn't just be cited... I'd be workin' on a chain gang. I have no formal grammar training. It's all by osmosis (moving every 2 years, I skipped that portion of school 3x), from reading.

Upside... my vocab rocks.

Especial delectation of their gladsome roundelay.

However, O. personification even worse than I am is my phone. My phone has a specious (at best) understanding of north american grammar and spelling, and makes some of the oddest choices. Since I haven't had internet for 5 months, most of my posts have come from my phone. So what little cover I had to duck behind via spellcheck? Gone.

Misuse of any of the following:
their/they're/there
your/you're
its/it's

When referring to a person, the use of "that" - as in, "People that use bad grammar..." when it should be, "People who use bad grammar..."

Another favorite: "Me and Bobby are going to the store." Ugh! No! *Bobby and I* are going to the store!

Or, "Bobby and myself are at the store." Where in the world does this O. come from? I hate it! Why would anyone bother saying "myself" instead of "I?"

I will confess that I still have trouble with laying/lying, though. Was the cat laying or lying on the couch? I've never been able to memorize that. I have no idea why.

I'm also guilty of saying things like, "He's better at that than me" when I should say, "He's better at that than I am."

ETA: Oh! OH! How could I have forgotten my biggest pet peeve? The use of an apostrophe indicates possession, not plurality! "Dog's" means the dog owns something, not that there are several dogs.

Not everyone has grammer skills....leave then alone. It is embarrassing to be called out on this forum...when a person means well. And religion and politics should be left out. Just my opinion...do as you please.

JFF read this article. Before anyone takes offense, here is my disclaimer: I don't intend to make this a race issue. It is just the title of the blog site. ;).

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/

The O. that absolutely irks me the most is when people say "ideaL" instead of "idea"....like, "I have a great ideal!" There is NO friggin' L in idea, people!! Ughh, that O. really gets me!

ETA: Thought of another O.- I can't stand it when people use "seen" instead of "saw". For example, "I seen him the other day." When I hear people speak like that, I can't help but wonder how they ever made it out of high school.

...and O. more. "Fifty cent is your change." No, fifty centS is my change! Fifty is plural, not singular!

There are so many that bother me, but the new O. that REALLY gets me is "ima". I have seen it like this: "Ima get that new dress". WHAT??
Oh wait, I have also seen "sorry for your lost". Lost?
I'll have to stop now before I get carried away.

How about grammar when it's clearly spelled in the post title? It's not GRAMMER..that's Kelsey and Camille's last name!

Oh, I really try not to correct people. It's not my place (I think it's rather rude). But - since you asked - can we please just have a refresher course on how to properly use an apostrophe? Pretty please?? Maybe slip in a discussion on proper use of the your-there-to words? I guess while we're at it, some work with contractions (should've, not should of) and those little sayings that are so often misused. Maybe I should throw in a support group for people like me that are overly dependent on the parenthesis? Just to be fair, you know. :)

ETA: this isn't really governed by the grammer police but I giggle like a twelve year old boy whenever I see frig. I know it comes from refrigerator and is intended by its use to be pronounced with a soft g. In my head, though, it's a hard g and is slang for the act of pleasuring oneself. I have to use fridge.

"Prolly," "ima," and "lil," followed by "u" and "ur."

Citation for the first three? Typing While Intoxicated.

Regards,

Ossifer Mira

How about this:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/30/tech/mobile/amercia-romney-...

Not really a grammar issue but I couldn't resist. :)

While not strictly grammar, I dislike when people use the word advise when they mean to use advice. I also hate the term irregardless.

"all of the sudden" instead of "all of a sudden"

YES! All the usual suspects most have mentioned her annoy me. My husband's best friend goes to the LIBERY, thinks the month that comes after January is FEBUARY, and changes his MINE quite often. He will actually type that word in his FB status: I was going to go to a movie, but changed my MINE.

All misuse of the English language, written or spoken, makes me want to LITERALLY explode. (lol) I have been guilty of using a hyphen a little too liberally. Just don't call the math police. I literally can't add two and two most days. I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

bfn
ttyl
lmao

and all those sms/texting lingos....they drive me crazy. It takes me half an hr to figure out what they mean...
AND, it makes me feel so OLD! :))

I agree with you on the use of "prolly"!

My pet peeve is when "seen" is used improperly. "I seen you today", "I seen that in the newspaper", "I seen, I seen, I seen........." Please make it stop!

Theresa has been an influence on many of us, I see! :) I never use the word "hubby" anymore! Even when I am buying ice cream! Instead of "Chubby Hubby", I always change it in my mind to "Corpulent Husband". Theresa, you may want to let Ben and Jerry's in on that O.! :) You are wonderful!

For me it's using a word incorrectly or adding an s to a word that does not need an s.
Examples -
I gots to go
Please borrow me some money

ETA - I just remembered my biggest - Learnt instead of learned. I hate it when written and I hate it when spoken.

It's and its are big ones for me. You're and your; they're, there, their; affect and effect. I cringe everytime my kids bring home a paper from school with those types of mistakes in it.

"To" vs. "Too"
"Your" vs. "You're"
"There", "Their", and "They're"

Have not seen "prolly" yet, but have seen "sposta" instead of "supposed to" (I do know that it's a Michigan thing to pronounce it like that though).

Run-on sentences and "text-speak."

Jewry instead of jewelry. I hate going to Kmart because I always hear "customer assistance needed in jewry". And now if I can get my kids to stop saying "fail" every single time something doesn't work the way it should. Once in a while isn't so bad but all the time...

And the use of commas after every couple of words. It gets really, annoying when you, get stopped, by several commas. And when, they are placed, in the wrong spots, it is double annoying, to try to read.
I work with someone that I want to break her comma key.

I *am* the grammar police at work sometimes! LOL We have a special project we do in November and we have to write up a LOT of ads. We have a set style guide, and everyone is supposed to follow it so that everything is consistent.

My coworker and I have prepared some Powerpoint slideshows for training this year. There is a special O. for some grammar that drives me crazy!!! Men's, women's, kids', adults', etc. I've had people try to tell me it must be mens' or womens'!! ARRGGG!!! LOL The slide after this O. has a picture of Achmed (if you know Jeff Dunham...) and says "Do it! I keel you!" (again, must know Jeff Dunham! LOL)

they're, their, and there
its and it's
to, too, and two
then and than
your and you're

ahhhh drives me crazy!! lol It's worse when it's something PUBLISHED. Like an ad or an article. I understand if it's a texting or instant messaging environment, people type fast & make mistakes. But to be published.... :/

"Irregardless" has always been O. of my all-time favorites, although, to be totally honest, I have approximately 3.7 billion things that annoy me as far as spelling &/or grammatical stuff goes.

I'm with you on prolly. I hate that.

My biggest pet peeve though is "I wanna". As in I wanna go to the movies. Makes you sound like a 2 year old. What's so hard about saying "I want"?

I have to say I don't proofread. Who has time when you're avoiding work on here
so although I know
know does not = no
and you're does not - your
and then and than are diferent
and 2nd and and second are diferent
I often think the right thing in my head and "no" the right word but somehow my brain types the oppsitte?
Also I type UR instead of your'e or your I'm all about speed=)
ehhh. I can do math very well=)

There
They're
Their

Your
You're

Use the correct O. people!

Oh and acronyms, LOL!! I crack myself up!!!

'ur' for your, or any other text speak, to be honest. Even if you're typing on your phone, you can spell out the full word - it's not that hard. Lack of punctuation and capitalization. And the phrase 'I am wanting to...'. People, it's 'I want to' or 'I would like to', not 'I am wanting to'.

And this isn't really grammar, but people who put JFF in front of every question they ask. I get it that they're just curious and the question is posted for fun, but so are a million other questions. I don't know why, but JFF bothers me more than almost everything!

Irregardless (not a word)
Myriad (often used incorrectly)

Failure to conjugate verbs should result in a return to the 9th grade.
(I is) instead of (I am)
(We be) instead of (We are)
(We been) instead of (We have been)

I have O. friend that constantly misspells "tomarrow"...ugh!

Well, this is more of a spelling issue, but it's a pet peeve for me when people use "loose" to mean "lose." I had no idea that so many people mixed up those words until the Internet.

I use prolly when I'm on my phone. :)

lose & loose are my main spelling annoyance.

With grammar, I prefer that people at least TRY to make something easy to read. If a post is O. big run-on sentence, I'm not going to read it. I'm not going to point it out, I just don't read it.

"irregardless"
"ima"

Both make me cringe. And many of the others you wonderful ladies have mentioned.... but those two at the top are worst offenders for me.

What is 'prolly'??? Have I been away too long?

The improper use of don't and doesn't make me cringe.

This may be more of a local thing but people (ESPECIALLY from Library) that pronounce it Libary. Where'd the other R go???

Oh, mine would prolly be lack of periods. (Sorry had to throw it in there)

I do have to add O.. My SIL will email me throughout the day and she likes to say why instead of while. It drives me insane and I don't even know why she says why instead of while. For example, she will say "I stopped by and got some stuff for dinner why I was out on my lunch break". She does this A LOT! Other than that I dont get too upset abour grammar.

Bomb fire! Hahahaha!

Mispronouncing sure as "shore." That just grates on my ears.

Oh, AMEN on "prolly." :)

I would cite the misuse of "your" in place of "you're." Know the difference people!

people who say things like:

"that's very unique" - really? how can something be VERY unique when unique means "O. of a kind"?

I'm going to axe you a question.

here in Georgia we can get some real ignorant people....
We be going for a walk.

when people don't know the difference between
chose and choose
lose and loose
their, they're and there
affect and effect
accept and except
advice and advise

pull out a dictionary people. If you don't have O., open a new tab and type the word in. There are PLENTY of on-line dictionaries!!!!

Definitely "your" and "you're", followed closely by "their" and "they're". I cannot believe in this day and age people still mix those up.

I don't mind "prolly" or any of the shortened abbreviations in texts. It's a pain to type on those little keyboards. But I have never used "LOL" - except to say I've never used it. :)

It irritates me when people use "me" as a subject and "I" as the object. "Me and my daughter went shopping." "My friend invited my daughter and I." Wrong wrong wrong!

The other O. that really annoys me is when people write "trooper" when they mean "trouper." A trooper is a soldier. A trouper is someone who is a good sport in a difficult situation.