Infant Won't Take a Bottle and Mom Has to Go Back to Work!

Please beleive me when I say that no baby at this age is strong enough to resist the hunger/thirst instincts. The baby will eat and wont resist forever. Be patient and do what you have to do. Go to work and be strong. Everything will work out.

I had the same problem..my baby wouldn't take a bottle from my husband. I tried all the fancy bottles but the ones that worked the best were the cheap old-fashioned ones! When she would have to eat, I had to physically LEAVE the house - they say that the baby knows you are there by smell and won't eat if they know something better is around the corner. She will get it - just have to be consistent and not go over to "rescue" her.

Make an appointment with a Chiropatric (spelling off) for an adjustment. I read some where once that infants that were not eating/sleeping well should get an "adjustment". Talk to the peditrian (spelling) to inquire of a baby chiropatric...

Good luck.

Have they tried the breastflow bottles by First Years? The nipple is breast-like. Also, perhaps making sure the nipple is warm not cold from the fridge.

1. Ask the pediatrician what the signs are for dehydration, so your friend can keep an eye out for that.

2. Have your friend look at La Leche League's website - http://www.lllusa.org/. There are lots of babies who do this and it will probably be helpful for her to read her baby isn't going to starve and they will get through this.

My daughter did the same thing--it was horrifying for me not only was I stressed about being back at work but I had the additional stress/ and guilt that she was not eating during the day. I swear my husband and I spent over $100.00 on different bottles. I even ordered one off the internet that had a guarantee that it was just like a breast--I paid more money to have the bottle over nighted than the bottle actually cost--no luck. After 3 weeks of stubborness she just latched on and went to town on the bottle like a pro. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel--my husband and I joke that our little one was just exercising her will and I guess my mother was right "when she gets hungry enough she would eat!" Ironically, the bottle she took--ended up being the original bottle we tried--the Avent. So encourage your friend and tell her that it will happen and that it is but there is hope!

They might try sippy cups. My son started using them at 3 months, because he wouldn't take a bottle. I used the hard plastic variety and just poured a little on his bottom lip for him to swallow.

That said - 90% of the time, he slept in childcare and nursed the entire time he was with me. Well, not the entire time - but for 2 hours solid when I picked him up from daycare, another 4 hours after dinner, and repeatedly through the night.

It sounds INSANE, but it worked for us.

S.

D.,
I breastfed all three of my kids. The first two only for 2 months, and still breastfeeding my 2 year old. All of them had problems switching to the bottle when I returned to work.
My husband stayed home with our youngest, and I know the first couple of days he had a problem getting our son to eat. I got the Playtex Naturallatch nipples. But the real trick was, he warming my breast milk up. He said he warmed a little warmer and our son just started eating. I'm assuming your friend is using a pump, I know that is h*** o* her too, but the fresh milk seems to work better than if it's been stored, at least for my son. With my first two, when I went back to work, my mother watched them and she had the same problem, she said I either give them breast milk or formula, but not both. I stopped and went to straight formula. 9 years later, I had my youngest, I just wanted to nurse for 1 year but it's two now.
The nipples have a slow, rapid flow, I suggest getting one of each or how many come in a packet of each. My son liked the milk to flow out fast, but that's just how he was used to me flowing. I could never feed him the bottle, he wanted me, but everyone else, was able to feed him the bottle as long as I wasn't around.
Good Luck, I know it's hard to return back to work.

Sounds to me like too much inconsistency -- too many different things being tried and not giving enough time for the baby to adjust. First, pick and stick with one bottle type. You don't mention if the baby is being given formula or breastmilk in the bottle. If the baby was exclusively breastfed and now being given formula, then the double whammy of getting a new drink in a new method is going to take some adjusting. And when someone else is feeding, is mom still around? If so, that will be a problem . . . mom needs to disappear (babies can smell their moms). She should not worry overly much about the baby "starving." The baby will initially not each very much, but ultimately hunger will win over and she will start taking what is given to her. And I agree that mom should still try nursing in the mornings and at night.

I breastfed my oldest 2 children and weaned them to bottles/formula at about 3 months when I went back to work. When switching to the bottle, first my husband started working with them, and then my babysitter and/or mother-in-law. With my youngest I got to do a combo breast/bottle feeding until she was 11 months old, since I worked from home. But again, it was my mother-in-law who worked with her on the bottle, and initially they all went through the same "I'm not eating this" phase. Your friend just needs to be patient, step back, and give it some time. I know how hard it is to think your child is going hungry . . . but it will work out. Good luck!

I can't remember what baby book i read this in but it suggested never to use a bottle or pacifer etc... Which i disagreed with, which probably why i can't remember the book but.......... Anyway, it said to use a small cup close to medicine size and move up in size as the baby grows. Of course the cup was for the parent to use and not actually trying to sippy cup train yet. Jsut a thought.

Neither of my 2 girls would take a bottle either and I was panicking just before returning to work with my first one. We had tried everything to get her to take a bottle - with no luck. My sister--in-law was visiting a couple of weekends before I went back and tried giving her some water w/ a straw (putting her finger over the top and letting her sip). It worked. So we tried feeding her with a medicine dropper. She took that too. Luckily we had an angel of a babysitter who fed her this way for a few weeks until she could drink from a sippy cup (there was only one at the time that didn't drown her). With my second baby, we just went straight to a sippy cup when we realized that she wasn't going to take a bottle either. Good luck!

I breastfed both my kids and I used a nipple from 'parents choice' I think was the brand. Really cheap at Walmart but was very soft and looked to me like a nipple. Some of the ones advertised to be 'just like mom' look really funny to me so I can't imagine how they would be for a baby you know. I think warming up the milk was also a good idea. Make everything as calm and like mom as possible. I don't know who's caring for the baby, but possibly skin contact would help too (just lift up the shirt so the baby can snuggle to the belly. Maybe it's the closesness the baby is missing.

Good luck to your friend and let us know if anything works

I just went through the same bought with my 3 month old son. I needed to go somewhere Saturday and would not be able to feed him for a whole day. I began giving him a bottle while we were in the hospital but discontinued when we caught thrush. I tried again about a month later and he would not take it. I tried and tried with not success and non of the different types of bottles I tried worked either. On Tuesday my MIL came over and took him from me and would not let me bf him. He screamed and cried. She told me don't give in. He didn't eat a drop until the next day around 7 at night. I thought he was going to die of starvation but she assured me he was fine and would eat when he got hungry enough because they will not starve themselves. She also told me dont' keep going back and forth between bottle and breast when they cry because they will just keep crying cause they know you will eventually give in. So to sum it all up be strong and dont' give in to the screaming. It also helps if you leave the vicinity because they can smell you and your milk. Also a friend of mine said that the brown rubber nipples are accepted better than the clear plastic ones which I found true.

I had the same problem with my babies. My babies just adapted. They will eventually take the bottle. I had to use the slow drip nipples since the hard to suck harder to get the milk out of it like they have to do on the breast. They used the slow for the whole year. My daughter is 11 months and she still hates the bottle. She will only drink one bottle during the day when I'm gone but she made up for it by having long feedings in the mornings before I left for work and when I got home.

Baby will eat when she gets hungry enough. I know it is stressful for your friend but her baby will not starve herself during the day while she is at work. It will just be an adjustment. My son was picky too, but he was fine. Good luck!

Finding a bottle to mimic a mom's breast is hard. I tried several Gerber, Avent, Dr.Brown's, the hospital one I finally ended up using the Adiri Natural Nurser Ultimate Bottle Stage 1, Slow Flow (0-3 months), sold at Babies R Us. It took giving it to her repeatedly for 3 days before she would take it AND only when you laid her down. Try giving your baby the bottle in different positions. I had to return to work when my dd was 10 weeks so I understand the desperation. I tried different people and cradling her myself to get her to eat from a bottle. She only took little sips here and there. I was so tired I laid her down and my husband stuck the bottle in her mouth and she finally began to drink. She is 5 months old now, has graduated to the 3-6 month bottle and still only bottle feeds if you lay her down or propped up against some pillows. Don't even think about holding her while she's bottle feeding. Kids are funny that way. A note on using the Adiri bottle. It's poorly designed so you'll have to heat your breastmilk in another container and once it's at the right temperature transfer it to the adiri bottle. Putting the bottle is a cup of hot water will cause it to leak your precious milk. Good luck!

learning curve "breast flow" worked for us

I had the same problem with my baby. I stupidly listened to nurses who told me to wait 6 weeks before I give my baby a bottle to avoid "nipple confusion." Babies are smart - they don't have nipple confusion! I made sure my other babies got a bottle in their mouth on their second or third day of life. Anyway, your friend is in a very tough situation. Maybe her pediatrician has suggestions that she hasn't already tried? What about asking a lactation consultant for advice? I too have heard that a baby won't starve him/herself. My only suggestion is to feed breastmilk or formula to her baby using a medicine dropper. Maybe after several squirts in the baby's mouth, the baby will take the bottle? If the baby still won't take the bottle, at least he or she will get some breastmilk or formula via the medicine dropper - even if the caregiver has to squirt it in baby's mouth 100 times in a row! At least the baby will be getting something. What about using a spoon, too? Take a spoon and pour it in baby's mouth. The baby will want more, and possible finally give in and take the bottle? Very frustrating, I know! Best of luck!

I have had good success with the Adiri bottle. It is the only one I have been able to transition babies from 3-8 months repeatedly with. It is shaped to latch the same way as the breast. It also becomes warm with the warmed milk and feels better on the babies cheeks. I would be happy to help at the Nestingplace.
good luck,
K.

I bf #1 for 15 months, returbing to work when she was 12 weeks. I agree w/ the other poster...r u using BM or formula?

With me daughter, we had the same problem. In the end it was just time and me NOT being in the room. After all, your breast is a MUCH better and enjoyable delivery system over a bottle. I would work on having someone else feed baby and have you completely out of the room. Baby can smell you and may be having issues taking milk wondering why mom is standing there.

Keep in mind to use the slowest flowing nipple and warm the BM. Finally, just have patience and keep trying.

My first daughter prefered the breast as well at first. Unfortunately, my daughter did not have a choice when I went back to work and had to be fed by bottle by my mom. I did not have the convenience of coming home early. She fought hard, but eventually got the hang of it. I came home one day and found my mom exhausted sleeping in the chair with my daughter in hand. I felt so bad; however, I just did not have a choice. I had to work. I would suggest that they continue to try to feed her the bottle because if she is hungry enough she will eventually take it. They can try to snuggle her up to their chest with a blanket around her and feed her the bottle to imitate the comfort of the breast. She will most likely continue to fight it at first; however, eventually she will come to terms with the fact sometimes milk will be in a bottle and sometimes it will come from mommy. I could never give my daughter a bottle at first. It always had to come from someone else... I am sure they hate to see her cry; however, they will just have to persist and the baby will give in at some point. Her baby will not starve itself because she cannot have the breast. It will become easier with time. I know it is hard to see them so uncomfortable; however, just wait until the other transitions come! Good luck!!

my friend had this problem and their pediatrician recomended just letting him go and when he gets hungary he will eat. Her Dr said the longest she has ever seen a baby go with eating was 36 hrs. Their Dr's office monitored the baby to make sure he wasn't getting dehydrated and that he was doing OK during this transition. It only took less than 24 hrs of no food for him to decided a bottle was better than nothing.

My second daughter never would take a bottle. She went straight to sippy cups. This was such a shock, since my older one had no problems. We had to use a spoon to feed her the milk. It takes a while, but it worked to get her the nourishment that she needed. A couple of other ideas are plugging a straw and releasing small amounts of milk into her mouth or using a medicine dropper. It might not be the rate at which the milk is flowing from the bottle nipple, but instead the fact that she has trouble sucking it into her mouth the way she is used to.

A friend had this problem and they found that when the baby was lying flat on her back on her daddy's legs, she would take the bottle. However, she wasn't fooled by the cradle hold - she knew it wasn't a breast and didn't want anyone pretending it was.

I had this problem with my son when I went back to work. I wish I could tell you there was a simple solution. The truth is that he never really took the bottle well (even though it had breastmilk in it). I pumped while at work to keep my supply up, but most of the time I ended up with extra milk (even though I didnt get much when I pumped) because he wouldnt take the bottle while I was gone. Many days he would only take 6 oz or less the whole day. However, he made up for it by eating a couple of times during the night. I called and talked to a breastfeeding peer councilor and she said that this is very common. Yes, it makes for a tired, stressed mama, but it works out somehow. Also, even after all that I still nursed til he was 14 mo. We made it though somehow and your friend will too. Tell her not to be ashamed to ask for help when she is tired/stressed. Many of us moms have been in her shoes. I will be praying for her.

My daughter went from breast to Avent bottles and back easily after at only a couple of weeks old. You didn't mention if the milk in the bottles is pumped breastmilk or formula. I'm assuming it's breastmilk. If not, it may be the product and not the distribution system that is the problem.

I strongly recommend contacting the breastfeeding resource center at the hospital where she delivered or another one. We used the Breastfeeding Resource Center at Harris Methodist HEB and they were very helpful. I called them about everything, including which formula to get when I had to curtail breastfeeding a few months earlier than planned. Good luck! And good for you for being such a dear friend to help out!!

If the milk is flowing too fast you could try the Second Nature bottles. They have a bunch of tiny holes in the nipple instead of one so the baby has to suck to get the milk to flow so it simulates breastfeeding. www.secondnaturefeeding.com
Does the baby take a paci? If so you could try finding a bottle nipple that matches the paci. Hope this helps.

I had the same problem with my now 9-month old. He wouldn't take a bottle for the first 7 months. I tried several bottles and nipples. The only one I had any success with was the First Years Breastflow Bottle:

http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Breastflow-Bottle-3-Pac...

I buy them at Target and Babies R Us. He would only take a few ounces at a time from it, but after a few days, he finally started taking a full feeding. I don't know if it was the bottle or the timing. I'm just glad he finally started taking a bottle.

Good luck to your friend! Hope it helps.

I have been there!! My little girl refused the bottle but did alright with the sippy cup. We use the Nuby brand since it is a soft nipple. Our pediatrician recommended this as a last option and it worked. Our ped also reminded us that a baby will never starve themselves and will eventually eat if they are that hungry.
good luck

I had this same problem with my son as well. We had him on a pretty strict 3-hour, 5x per day eating schedule when he was exclusively breastfed. But, like your friend, I had to return to work when he was 12 weeks old.

Here is what I did. I would let him nurse in the morning at his first feeding. Then, for the 3 feedings during the day, every 3 hours at his regular feeding time, I would offer him a bottle (either formula or breastmilk -- I came to realize that it was the bottle he was refusing, not what was in it.) It was a battle, he would scream, cry and shake his head. I would feel really accomplished if I got 1/2 ounce in his tummy. Then, I would let him nurse before bed. (I didn't want him to wake up hungry during the night.) It took about 2 weeks, which was terribly frustrating and tiring. But, eventually, he started taking an ounce and then 2 ounces. After about a month or 6 weeks, he gradually worked his way up to 8 ounces per bottle.

If your friend is nervous about her daughter not eating, she can have her pediatrician monitor her weight.

I hope this helps.