NO - it's not you at all!!!- Get him diagnosed to make sure it's the correct diagnosis for your child, your sons preschool teacher who may mean well,is not someone who should be shelling out your childs diagnosis- You should be able to get testing started at your childs school.
My Sons story in a nut shell:
Joshua the oldest (22) was/is diagnosed with Autism - he is very high functioning, & I believe it's due to our parenting, we didn't baby his disability, let him spin, or feel sorry that this was a part of his life experience, and freak out about his future (envisioning that he would never be the CEO of a company and only have to be a janitor- Heck if that was in his cards I’d be happy that he could function as a janitor). He was tested in kindergarten, we kept him back for another year to finish his testing, they tried to give us another diagnosis (because he was high functioning), We were also part of a new Stanford testing group at the Lucile Packard children’s hospital, where they diagnosed him as autistic, they looked past his functionilbility and went straight for the characteristics & testing. (So thankful to Stanford’s role & our luck getting him tested there).
This diagnosis still did not guarantee his claim to services (it may be easier now) a good place to start is PHP (Parents helping parents - great for resources) and SARC (San Andreas Regional Center) the latter is for services. Joshua always tested with high scores, he always had flash cards, we always gave him extra homework, always expected more from him, we pushed him harder than we would have an average child (we would not have been doing him any favors if we didn’t). We knew that it would be a challenge going to school (on the bus & at school too), Kids are cruel, he used to pretend he was asleep on the bus (that’s the part I hated most, I just wish parents all together would instill respect for others in their family values), we explained peoples actions to him, especially the cruelty of people in general and telling him that they cannot help themselves & that their parents did not teach their kids to respect other peoples differences. Joshua worked hard, & put up with a lot, and let us knows not to worry, that he could handle it. (On the flip side he was also aware that in general most people are good, and have good intensions).
We fought tooth & nail for him all throughout his school years, getting services was huge battle (he was too high functioning, or so we were told) & we really didn't get services till he was like about 14 or 15, “The system talked about putting Joshua on meds, we never resorted to that, I cannot imagine doing that to him ever, he rarely ever takes an aspirin, We chose supplementation instead for him, not just any over the counter supplements either! This helped him immensely; he even said he felt more focused, now that’s huge! He graduated 8th grade a year after he should have (said he didn’t feel he was ready- we respected his wish), the School district tried to push him on as he had passed the Campbell requirements-and he was also on the principles Honor Roll- So we fought again, he went to 8th grade twice & on to high school – then onto his Post Secondary program (Campbell is the Best! Larry his teacher & assistants made everything perfect).
Josh is done with his post secondary program and was a direct hire @ Trader Joes on Prospect, was voted the best Facer at his store by his manager.. I tell his nutshell story, because Tina & I as parents, were kind of pioneers with this diagnosis, we survived & Joshua has become an even more amazing individual & because no matter what someone say's or if you feel that your child will never stack up to the "average" kid or person. I say, never give up, push your child past your own fears, focus on their strengths (Joshua is an artist- loves to draw).
My son has more heart, more strength, courage and compassion, than any one I know, he knows he is different, so are we all, celebrate your differences & be always be prepared to stand up & fight for your Childs rights as a human being.