Is It Rude to Ask Family to Take off Shoes in My House?

Updated on November 20, 2011
K.H. asks from Fernley, NV
38 answers

So I am hosting thanksgiving here! My family is flying in along with my sister's new fiancee(YAY!). I am so excited! We will have about 15 people total in my house for 8 days. Right now my husband and kids take thier shoes off in the house because we have dark hardwood floors(almost black-mahogany maybe). so they show the slightest foot prints-anything really. I kind of think it's rude to ask them to remove thier shoes in the house but what about if I got everyone some new slippers and wrapped them up in wrapping paper and didn't ask? If it is rude I won't ask and I don't mind sweeping if it means my family will be with me! thanks!
I forgot to add that the top floor where the bedrooms and most bathrooms are is carpeted(don't care about that). It's just the living area, family room, kitchen and dining room downstairs(1400 sf maybe more) is wood.
@P.S. I also rent our house! We don't own it!

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So What Happened?

Thanks girls! I think for the ladies I will get some some slippers and embroider them with "Thanksgiving 2011". All the women in my family HATE wearing shoes anyways(my mom drives barefoot in warm weather), we even waer socks outside occasionally lol! I won't ask them to wear them, I think they just will. My dad I know would rather go without pants than wear socks or slippers so maybe I will get him and my little sister's fiancee a tie or maybe gloves? hmmmm...I am so excited I CAN'T STAND IT! lol The wearing or not wearing of shoes really isn't a huge deal, I just wanted to minimize cleaning to spend time with everyone.
@QueenoftheCastle: I will probably buy the slippers at Target or Walmart and embroider them myself-I really enjoy embroidery so this will give me an excuse to go get more materials, sit on my butt and watch Christmas With The Kranks!

Featured Answers

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

Wow, I have hardwood and I love the scratches and dents in my floors. They are well worn from all the friendly and loving feet of people I have enjoyed having in my home and of people who have enjoyed coming in. I'm more proud of my well trodden floors than my friends who are sooooo stressed about their $20K floors and never have people over.

I don't live in a castle. I'm not aristocracy. I do not belong to the royal family. I'm just a plain old Jane who lives in a plain old house. I hope my guests will never catch me looking down at their feet instead of welcoming them with open arms and a smile.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No.
It is not rude.

Here in Hawaii... NO ONE wear shoes in the house.
Some have a cute sign on their door.
Some have cute house slippers for guests to use.
Many, just walk in the home, barefoot. NO shoes.
It is much... cleaner that way.

Some may wear shoes in the house here in Hawaii.... but that is not common practiced behavior here.

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

It's absolutely acceptable.

I always say that I have kids who are always on the floor. They play there, have naps and relax there, etc. I don't want them coming into contact with something that comes in on someone's shoes.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

Everybody takes off their shoes when they come into my house, no questions asked. I have a sign on my door that says...

"Life is made of choices, remove your shoes or scrub the floor"

Then we have a shoe rack at each door and painters socks for those with very complicated shoes.

10 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

I don't know whether it's rude or not... but you may make some of your family unhappy if they're shoe wearers. Some people are just not comfortable being barefoot. I love the idea of getting everyone slippers and saying it's so they don't have to wear their shoes in your house. That way everyone gets their feet covered and you get your wish.

Or - if you don't want to go to the expense of the slippers, you could send a family email with a cute note with something like "Bring slippers if you want so your feet don't get cold. We're trying to leave all shoes at the door and I didn't want anyone to be surprised."

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't think it's rude at all. I love the idea of buying them booties or slippers.

In many cultures it is TYPICAL to remove shoes prior to entering the house. It is considered EXTREMELY rude to NOT remove your shoes.

This is YOUR home. Doesn't matter if you rent it or not - it is YOUR HOME. You set the rules and the boundaries. PERIOD.

HAVE FUN!!!

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

We have friends who have always had a no shoes in the house policy. It is no big deal - I just make sure my socks don't have holes in the toes when I go over. LOL

Let your family know before hand - and slippers are a great idea - like a reverse house warming gift!

Have a wonderful (and shoe free) holiday.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you are really close with these people and give them slippers then I think it's okay.
But on a few occasions when I've been to a party at the home of someone I'm not super close to and I'm expected to remove my shoes...I am less than thrilled. Just me. You have to clean after a party whether people wear shoes or not.

2 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have a framed sign in my entry way that says " Please remove your shoes"

The only exception is my Granny or one Aunt because they have back and leg problems and need the extra support from their shoes. Personnaly, I think it's gross to walk outside and then walk all over inside! It brings in dirt and germs!

I like what Everlay said about sending them a little reminder to bring their slippers.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

not rude at all, but if they balk at it, let it go (which I assume you would since your joy in having them come is apparent).
I do like the idea of having fun slippers for everyone or at least give them a head's up that their socks may be seen. I know it sounds silly, but I have a few choice socks that I still wear (probably shouldn't - LOL) and if I popped those on and someone asked me to remove my shoes I'd be quite embarassed:)

2 moms found this helpful

N.C.

answers from Rockford on

I don't think it's rude at all...people come in w/ all kinds of things on their shoes...I run a home daycare and I expect everyone who is going to be on my carpet to take off their shoes...if it's rainy, they are getting my carpet wet and then the lil ones get wet socks...not to mention dirty carpet can only be cleaned so many times. What bothers me is when my FAMILY comes over and they have the same "rules" in their homes, but do not remove shoes in mine...really? I don't expect it w/ my dad or others who have physical health issues where removing shoes is much harder for them that it is for me to just clean up.

Slippers are a great idea! Just some cheap lil slip ons so their feet stay warm. When my Nana was still alive, she knitted me like 14 pairs of slippers for all my daycare kids so "their feet would stay warm!" I loved her! Good luck w/ this...and instead of saying "can you take your shoes off?" You can politely say "there is a place over there for your shoes." If you have some who just refuse to do it, it might not be worth the battle...up to you! Good luck and happy holidays!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

It's not rude at all and can be considered a health issue. The fastest, easiest way to reduce the levels of toxics in your house is to have people remove their shoes upon entry.

If your only reason is to have to sweep your floor less often, then maybe it's rude. If it's to reduce the levels of toxic chemicals your family is exposed to, not rude at all.

For link on this issue, google
"seattle mama doc 1 step remove toxins from home"

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Since you are going to proved slippers I think it will be fine.

But I do know some people are very self conscious about their feet and to some people bare feet are revolting to see while they eat..

I agree to find a shelf so the shoes do not have to just sit outside. We actually keep our shoes on a shelving unit in our hallway.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

It is quite common to remove shoes before going into someone's home. We are "please wipe your feet" people but people often choose to take shoes off anyway.

I would have a shoe rack and tell people in advance that they should leave shoes at the door if this is not something you have done before. Don't be apologetic about it. Just state simply that this is a house rule. Friend buys packs of tube socks for her Open House and if you forgot your socks and would rather not be barefoot, you can get a pair of socks. I don't think it's rude at all. I don't clean their home. There are many reasons to request shoes off, including cleaning. Friends of ours are Chinese and we would never go to their home without taking our shoes off.

1 mom found this helpful

✪.P.

answers from Chicago on

I saw the follwing list a long time ago and I just found it again so that I could share it with you:

http://shoesoffatthedoorplease.blogspot.com/

Okay... so the author is just being funny a few times in her list.... ie.... kicking the dog will be less painful with shoes off. But most of the reasons to take your shoes off at the door got me convinced to remove mine! (especially the germ reasons.)

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

no it's not rude at all! We don't wear shoes in our house and have no problem asking people to take off their shoes. Maybe once or twice we have had to ask, but most people automatically do it anyway because it's the polite thing to do. I am a photographer and when I go to a clients house, I always take my shoes off, even if they have theirs on.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I was going to say yes but then read about the slippers. It seems like you are meeting them halfway.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

If they are immediate family who you are very tight with then it's ok. Anyone else - RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!! IT shows that you care more about your house then their comfort level.

Just realized it's for 8 DAYS!!! Wow. NO, then it will be fine. It's not ok when you invite people over for dinner and tell them to take their shoes off. Staying for 8 days - you might need sneakers to run away!!

1 mom found this helpful

M..

answers from Detroit on

Nope not rude. Especially if I got cozy slippers out of the deal! Sweeeet! lol
We dont do shoes in our house either. Most people take one look at my white carpet and take them off on their own. Thanks guys! :)

1 mom found this helpful

H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

Heck no! its your home!

I do it...we bought this house like 6-7months ago. and had the carpets replaced before we moved in.
NO ONE is allowed to walk in my house with shoes on.

1 mom found this helpful

S.H.

answers from San Diego on

I grew up in a house where we (and everyone who came over) were asked to remove their shoes before entering. We had a nice shoe tree where everyone placed their shoes. We didn't have slippers for everyone, but in this situation, I like that idea. You don't want someone coming who has a hole in their sock or bad pedicure to be embarrassed;)

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it's rude. Removing shoes is the norm in many homes. Most people who come over to our house automatically remove their shoes without being asked because they see our shoes lined up in the entryway. Since you have hardwood floors and not carpet, you would be an extra-gracious host by providing slippers or socks (thick, with the tread on the bottom) for the comfort of your guests. However, it's not required. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I do not think it is rude. However, I have an issue with my foot and I need to wear shoes with arch support whenever I walk. I even put on shoes when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If you ask me to remove my shoes I would probably not tell you about my foot issue but I would suffer for it later.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have people take their shoes off too and I always feel bad about it. I do it b/c of all the germs and diseases that get tracked in on people's shoes and I have young kids. They did a study in NYC and sampled what was on people's shoes and let's just say it was horrifying and absolutely disgusting! Lots of diseases, feces, etc! I wish it was a more common way of life. I always take my shoes off at other people's homes. Think of where people have been...porta-potties, public restrooms, etc.
I do like your idea about slippers....you don't want to embarass anyone that might not be comfortable w/ their feet for whatever reason. If it's expensive I think socks for men and women is good too.

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

We are a shoe-free household. Slippers, always. Shoes, never--so gross to be wearing the same things that walk around goose-poop-filled parks, bacteria covered grocery store floors, fecal matter infested public bathrooms, etc.

The embriodered slippers sound great! Where do you think you will be getting them from?

ETA: I always bring socks with me when visiting someone else's home, even if it doesn't quite match my outfit.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

No it's not rude. If it's something that you do all the time anyways in your house. You are not asking them to do something you don't already do. And I think the slippers are a very sweet gesture!

Good luck and God Bless!!

1 mom found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think it's rude at all. We have very light carpet, so we keep all of our shoes at the front door. When people come in, most notice right away. If one doesn't, someone else usually mentions it for us. The other thing I've seen is to have a basket full of house slippers (various sizes) at the door.

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M.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It is not at all rude to ask your guests to remove their shoes as they come in. Here in Hawaii, where I live it is rude to not take your shoes off. Just welcome everybody with a nice big Aloha and tell them you are doing things island style. Serve some spiced rum egg nog and have a good time. Everyone will learn how nice and cozy it feels.T

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

It's not rude at all! I lived in Hawaii for a number of years and everyone, without fail, takes their shoes off when they enter a home. Even after living in Minnesota for the last 12 years, I am always a little shocked when someone comes into my house without offering to take their shoes off. Nearly everyone DOES take their shoes off, but there are a few who don't.
My mom is so sweet. She needs to wear shoes all the time, but she wears shoes that she bought specifically for wearing indoors and she brings them with her when she is going to someone else's home.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful time!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I don't think it's really rude. Some houses are no shoes houses. Mine is not one of them but I've been to houses where no one wears shoes inside. I would not wait til they got there, I'd mention it beforehand. Perhaps they'd prefer to wear warmer socks or bring their own slippers or wear pants that they won't be tripping over without shoes.

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R.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello! Happy Thanksgiving. I have a sign on my door (that I just printed out on my printer) "please be a dear and leave your shoes here." I wish it was more conventional in our culture so I wouldn't feel so bad making people take their shoes off but I don't like the thought of bringing whatever is on the bottom of everyones shoes into my house!

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

In my culture, Korean, its rude to wear shoes in the house=) My husband is Caucasian and he's now used to taking his shoes off and I've taught my son to always take his shoes off as well. Just my 2 cents worth=)

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T.H.

answers from Topeka on

Yikes...a harsh response from some. I would not think it was rude at all...the slippers are an awesome touch. I automatically take my shoes off when I go to someones home. We don't wear them in my house why would I in someone elses. Its not like you think you are better than anyone else you just spent some money and want your things to remain nice.

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J.K.

answers from Dallas on

I personally don't think it's rude. I clean houses and there's one house I have where they require people to take off their shoes in the house. They too have hardwoods throughout. It's amazing the lack of dirt they have on their floors. Healthwise, it's much better to take off your shoes. But, if they have a problem with it, I wouldn't throw a huge stink about it. It's only for a week. Just do some serious cleaning when they leave.

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L.Q.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have 4 girls and my youngest is still a crawler and only 15 months old, so my husband and I and our girls ALL take our shoes off in the house (we have medium colored wood throughout main areas, carpet in bedrooms, 1 story) and I try my best to clean the floor atleast every other day, to keep the floor clean for the baby, but with full time work and full time mommy work and 4 kids it's not always possible, I still try my best. But I ABSOLUTELY hate hate hate it when i just finished cleaning my floor and someone comes over and steps all over my floor! But then again i don't want to be rude and ask them to take their shoes off. Back in July, my husband's family (5 of them) stayed with us for 4 days and I just about went crazy because I was watching my poor baby crawl in all the dirtiness, but ofcourse i didn't want the family to feel bad so i didnt say anything. So I feel you pain, eventhough it's for different reasons that we don't like our floors stepped on, I still understand how frustrating it is.

L.M.

answers from New York on

not one bit rude. Many people I know have that rule. We occasionally follow it in our house, wish we did it all the time but we forget! LOL! You could absolutely buy inexpensive slippers for everyone as a cute gift when they arrive if you want to.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I usually go barefoot in the house, and when people see that, many of them ask if it's okay to take off their shoes. I have no rules about other people's shoes - guests wear or don't wear shoes as it fits their comfort level.

Toxins on the floor? Meh. I don't eat off my floors, and I doubt that anyone's shoes have any more creeping nasty on them than the feet of the dogs and cats who walk on my floors.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have everyone take their shoes off. Less dirt and chemicals are tracked in.

I'd be more concerned with hard soled shoes, like heels scratching the floors. You can always call everyone and ask them to bring soft soled shoes, if they are not comfortable being shoeless. If this were a few hours, the fine, but EIGHT days is different. When in Rome....

My FIL wears his tennis shoes everywhere, but he's almost 80 and has a bad back, so I don't care. My SILs and BIL and kids ALL take their shoes off.

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