Is This Bad to Do?

Updated on June 17, 2010
J.B. asks from Garfield, WA
30 answers

my 3 year old daughter is totally day trained but we put her in diapers (because its cheaper) at night for bed. she still wakes up wet even though i cut off liquids after dinner. i have tried waking her up before i goto bed but she doesnt go back to sleep right away afterwards and then is cranky. im wondering if it would just be best to just let her stay as is or to put her in underwear (she doesnt wake when she pees yet). any helpful advice would be great! TIA!!!

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So What Happened?

thank you all!!!!! i will just leave her in diapers. my mil is just giving me heat as usual about petty things. i also like many moms feel that when she is ready she will do it. she potty trained when she was ready and i guess she will night train when she is ready. she is strong willed so forcing her is not an option. also we tried the underwear at night for 1 month and she doesnt wake up. im also thinking of getting a urine alarm for her to help her learn to wake up.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

So keep her in diapers at night and don't worry. My 4 year old wears the Goodnights since regular diapers are too small. I told him he has to wake up dry 3 days in a row to sleep in underwear. I have better things to do than wash sheets!

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

Nighttime training generally takes a lot longer than day training. Their bladders just aren't ready for awhile to go that long without going potty. I think it's too early (in my opinion) to be waking her up to go at night. I would just put her in a diaper or pullup at night and when she starts waking up dry in the mornings, then start working on it. My daugther has a bladder of steel and was already waking up dry when we started with underwear at 2 1/2, so we went ahead and made the change at night too, but if she hadn't been ready for that, I would have stuck with diapers at night. Don't stress her out about it just yet....especially at 3 years old.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Let her wear a diaper/pull up/overnight until she's dry in the morning for a week in a row. LOTS of kids night train WAY later than they day train. It's normal and no big deal.

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D.F.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm the mom of 4 and what they say is true "Each child is different"
#1 daughter potty trained at 22 mo no diapers at bed time
#2 refused to train at 4 yrs she was still in diapers
#3 a boy it took 1 week and he got it no diapers at bedtime
#4 took off her own diapers at 18 mo and told me they were YUCKY that was it she trained herself. Now I'm a strong believer in "They'll get it when they get it" If your daughter does great in the day and needs diapers at night thats fine. I've known some children who need night help untill 8/9.
And if this helps my child who took the longest to train has a 4.0 in college and is sooooo easy going. Just enjoy each stage and don't rush anything.

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B.S.

answers from Houston on

She isn't ready to be potty trained at night. Waking her up no pee disturbs her sleep. Just keep using diapers until she goes 4 or 5 nights without being wet. 3 is really young to expect her to make it all night. Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Try a pull-up or thick training pants with a vinyl cover. She needs water whenever she is thirsty and not giving a child water will only dehydrate, not teach their bodies to wake up. I had a horrible time waking up to use the bathroom as a kid and slept so hard I wet the bed until I was almost 12 (not every night). At 3 years old it is totally normal for her to wet at night and it is very common for children to continue longer.

Don't interrupt her sleep and make sure she drinks when she is thirsty. It stinks having to keep buying something for nighttime when she's trained for days, but just think what you are saving during the day and try not to stress over the disposables at night. Again, try something thicker and washable for night if it is a big problem.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that she is not ready for night time dryness yet. Leave her in diapers at night. She'll wake up dry when her body is able to hold it all night. I definitely would not wake her up to pee. Staying dry at night is a matter of body maturity.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

It takes awhile before they are ready to be potty trained through the night. I would keep doing what you are doing for now. When my kids were at potty training age, I used underwear that had thick absorbant lining, similiar to cloth diapers. If my son had an accident, the mess was contained and I could wash and reuse the underwear. I also put a pee pad under him while he slept to protect the bed.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

Her body will mature and she can stay dry at night. I would just keep her in the diapers until she starts staying dry at night. When she wakes up in the morning have her sit on the potty. I kept a rubber sheet on the bed for my son for a while after he was trained just so he did not have any accidents and ruin the mattress. It was only about $15 at Target. Less stress this way for everyone involved!

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P.G.

answers from Tulsa on

If she does fine during the day, let her wear panties. If she still has trouble at night, put on a diaper. Nothing unusual.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Night time training is totally different than daytime training. Daytime training is something they have full control over. Many kids just don't have the physical capability to stay dry at night until they are 5 or even older, believe it or not. Often times this is hereditary. It can be caused by the child's bladder not growing as quickly as the rest of their body, or there is also an enzyme that signals the kidneys not to release urine while the child is sleeping, and sometimes the child doesn't produce enough of that enzyme yet.

In any case, just keep her in diapers at night. My older daughter could not stay dry through the night until she was almost 5 (she HATED wearing diapers, even though we told her it was not her fault). Our younger daughter was daytime trained and nighttime trained at the same time (before her big sister, talk about awkward!). They have a cousin who is almost 8 and he only recently has been able to stay dry at night. It really depends upon the kid, and no matter how much they want to stay dry, they just can't until their bodies allow them to.

Let your daughter sleep, and let her wear night time diapers. She will grow out of this, I promise!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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A.B.

answers from San Diego on

Leave her in diapers or a pull up at night until it's consistently dry. It wont slow down her potty training. Some kids just sleep so soundly that they wet the bed at night. They eventually grow out of it. It's not unusual for kids as old as 7 or 8 to still need a pull up.

Don't bother waking her up. Let her sleep and take your time. She will eventually be dry in the morning.

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J.V.

answers from Lansing on

My son was a late pt. When talking about this to my sister she told me she wet the bed until she was 12! When one of her kids was starting int the same pattern she took him to the dr. There is a lack of the horomone that is secreted to wake them up. It does eventually develope on it's own. But they make a nasal spray kids use at night. We put our son on this and wow! what a difference. No more diapers or pull ups. He used it for about 9 months and then the hormone production started up. She will grow out of it...but if you can use a simple spray I think it would save everyone time, money and frustration. Good Luck!

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K.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think night training comes in it's own time for kids. My son was day trained just after he turned 2, but wore pull ups at night until he was 4. One day it just clicked and he never peed at night again. I used Pull Ups in case the child does start to get up to pee they are easier to get on and off.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Have you tried Good Nights?

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our children are just children. Each one develops in their own unique way and at their own pace. When she is ready, she will start waking up dry. It isn't something they have much control over while they are sleeping until their body develops the ability. If you push them to do it before they are ready, it will only cause feelings of shame and inadequacy. There's no huge hurry for kids to be night time potty trained.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used pull ups at night - not diapers. They have a different feel. You can go the plastic sheets/underwear route and have a mess for awhile but your daughter should learn to wake herself. The diapers aren't a good idea because they are not forcing her to train herself.

Try the pull ups and see what happens. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wet the bed untill i was 13 they didnt have anything to wear in ancient days so my sis and i put toewls on the bed and went back to bed now that i am 86 i wear pantys a kotex and tiolet paper day and night dont be to worried she and you will survive love her and do not make her feel guilty she may be a lucky one and out grow it raised 4 and now have 7grandchildren we are now in singapore my husband working and i sight seeing A. no hills

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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't think so. Diapers are cheaper than the overnight pants which are the same thing really. Pull ups are just diapers shaped like panties. Some kids take longer to train for night time. My thing is why waste money when you don't have to. :) Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter just turned 3 as well and is daytime potty trained and wears pullups at night, diapers are fine too, but I wouldn't worry about waking her to go potty, she'll get it in time. My daughter may go a few nights dry and wet a few nights. So diapers at night fine, but let her sleep for both of you... You don't need a cranky lil one! Lots of luck!

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L.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

kids do things wn they are ready not when u r ready and want them to do it! Do diapers or pull ups at night. What is the big deal? My daughter who is now 4 1/2 trained herself in a day both #1 and #2-she just ecided when she was ready at almost 3 1/2 yr old-my son whi is a little over 3 yrs potty trained himself at a bit over 3 yrs old going pee, but not ready to do poop yet he still poops in a diaper, but wears big boy pants all day even at nap and pull ups at night-we call them big boy pants for night time and usually he is dry in the am. Lay back relax-why make such a big deal-I had the most unstressful potty training ever and am so proud of myself for it- L.:)

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A.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I disagree about diapers telling her that it's ok to pee at night. When she is ready she will start waking up dry. I have 3 boys and each one has been different to train. Identical twins who pee trained while sleeping differently, one never wet while sleeping after 18 mos. He just has a stronger bladder, still to this day. My baby is 3 and has had bouts with waking up dry, but still is not pee trained while sleeping--nap or night. I use cloth diapers to help with cost, and I also have found rubber pant type trainer underware (target or walmart). They are like a thick pair of underware with a vinyl covering--all in one. If you are ok with washing all the time, then i see nothing wrong with letting her pee in her jammies/undies. She just might "get it" sooner than later. Often I wonder about doing that with my son! Im sick of buying diapers!!!

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I say do what works best for you. There are also the nighttime disposable panties. You could try them. Some kids just take longer at sleeping through without wetting. I think that as long as they aren't going to college with this problem, there isn't a problem, just a situation.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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N.B.

answers from San Diego on

Hi, what I did with my daughter is let her decide when she was ready for underwear. Because I have multiple sclerosis, sleep is vital for me to function at all during the next day. I was dreading the changing of the sheets. She was day-trained by 3, but was in a pull-up until 4 1/2. In March, she starting getting herself up at night to go to the bathroom and in the first part of April, she came to me and said, I am ready to be in underwear. I prepared myself, said yes, and went for it. She has NEVER had an accident at night. She is also a very smart, happy, social child, so I didn't do any mental damage on her by letting her stay in pull-ups at night. She in now 6.

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

she's only 3. keep her in diapers & everyone is happy. don't worry until she gets past 5 and isn't dry at night.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J., once you start potty training you don't want to use diapers, I know it;s more convienent and easier, but it's not what's best for your daughter. if you put her in diapers at night, the message you are sending her is that it's OK to pee on yourself and night, and the diaper makes her comfortable to pee at night. I think you were on track when you were waking her up before you go to bed to go pee, she may be cranky but that's OK. After a while her body should wake up on it's own at the time you wake her up. Also J. it's not always liquids that make them pee the bed, sometimes they get chilled and they pee, I know my son went from being dry at 17 1/2 months old to wetting the bed at 4, I found out because we moved and he no longer had a bathroom in his room he was scared to get up and go. And honestly J. some kids are just lazy in this area. What I did with my son I cam him extra privliedges in he stayed dry, and then if he could stay dry for 5 days I would take him to toys r us, this was a reward system I used, but what I also did if he wet he changed his own clothes, he removed his bedding I carried it down stairs cause I didn't want him to trip but I made him put them in the washer himself. After a couple days he started waking up his 7 year old brother to go with him to the bath room, talk to yur husband work out a reward system for your daughter, and make her change herself and her bedding. Put her in big girl panties, make her feel like a big girl, you may be surprised. Also no pull ups as some suggested, they are a diaper without tape. I have potty trained many many children over the past 13 years in my daycare I never used pull ups. J. I read some of the other responses, and I have to say in my experience as a mom and a provider I don't really agree with them, not fully anyways, but weight out the advice you got, maybe ask your mother, she's probably around my age, and see what works for your family. J.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

She doesn't wake up because the diapers take the wet away from her. Switch to the pull ups that have a cool sensation, and she will start to wake up at night when she pees....get the smallest bag, and when they are out, get a good mattress cover and switch to underwear! You will have some sleepless nights, and it may feel like she's a newborn again for a couple of weeks, but it is so worth being free of the diaper burden!! Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Put her in underwear...she's never going to get it until you do that.

Also, go out and get a few of those waterprood crib liners and put them under her sheet on top of the mattress pad. Great for containing accidents and making sure the mattress doesn't get all messed up.

Good luck!
-M

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

On thing to do is actually INCREASE the liquids she's drinking before bed. Create that bladder pressure so that it's easier to feel (aka for the nervous system to notice consciously). The more she feels it, the more her conscious mind will start holding it. As opposed to limiting fluids, which creates nearly no pressure (and just kind of dribble out all night).

The nervous system has to completely rewire in order for us to have conscious control (prior to conscious control, peeing is controlled by the autonomic nervous system... the one that takes care of breathing, our heart beating, etc.). It happens in the daytime FIRST for the same reason that we can hold our breath while awake. Except with peeing, we gradually get full control, while holding our breath we only have some control over. At night, when kids stop exerting conscious control, urination switches back into the autonomic. BUT they're still wired in both directions. So if you give her body the clues (like bladder pressure from having drunk a lot), it'll switch over into night time conscious control that much faster... because it's the same nerve response she has in the daytime.

But yeah. I would personally keep her in her diaper. It usually takes 6months to a year for night time control to establish after daytime control is 90%

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