Is This Crazy?

I'm 32 and I love to celebrate my birthday! My mom's side of the family gets together for all my aunts birthdays and a large number of my cousins birthdays. It's always a ton of fun! I don't quite understand why you're so mad that she wants to celebrate her birthday. It's her special day, let her celebrate it anyway she wants. If that includes a week long girls vacation in Cancun, then so be it. If you don't wanna go, just tell her that you don't wanna go.

Some people will use any excuse to throw a party and I'm one of them!

I love having a house full of family and friends cooking eating drinking laughing enjoying each other's company! If someone doesn't want to come, that's cool, no reason they should feel stressed about it!

:)

I come from a family where my siblings do not acknowledge birthdays (from business; laziness; not caring; etc...). I married into a family where we always get together for birthdays.
I think MY family is crazy.
I think getting together with family and celebrating each other is wonderful. Now with that being said, we can't always make each celebration (sick, work, etc...).
Just my two cents,
R.

We used Birthdays as a way to see each other.. Of course we ALL live in town (blessing and curse) but instead of a dinner, we celebrate the birthday.

You are an adult, if you do not want to go to any type of gathering you do not have to go..

Some people just love being celebrated.. I do not think it is odd or selfish.. It is just the way she is.

If you don't want to go, then don't. You're sick, it's too far, whatever.
But, I don't think it's childish to have birthday parties. My family has gatherings like this all the time. Even for grandmas and grandpas and heck, some of them are in their 80's.
Send a card, call your sister on her day and tell her you love her. Just because someone has a party, it doesn't mean everyone has to attend.
Just my opinion.
There's no reason for anyone to be mad at anyone over this.

Some people make a big deal out of birthdays (my mom was one) and some people don't. That doesn't make anyone crazy.

If you don't want to go, don't go. You said you were sick all week, so use that as your excuse. Send your sister a nice card.

Don't worry about what other people think either. Hope you feel better.

It sounds like it just became a traditional way to get a family get together every year and not so much about your sis's bday.
Some years we just cant make it, you dont have to feel bad about it at all.
"I just got over the flu and I'm not gonna make it this year, see ya next God willing"... And if they dont like it, too bad.
Send your sister a birthday card and be done with it.
Why be so h*** o* yourself if you decide not to go?
Obviously your family likes you and wants you to be there otherwise they wouldnt try to guilt you to go. But seriously, life will go on whether you show up or not so dont worry about it.
You'll enjoy the party more next time when you skip one or two.

I think it's great to have parties and make big deals out of birthdays! However, I don't think it's great to "require" everyone to attend all of them and get pissy if all of your close friends and family can't always make it! Do what you want. It's wonderful if she wants to have a big party every year, but she needs to understand that you don't always have to be there -especially if you don't live nearby.

.

You said they are going out of town to celebrate it. I assume that means they are either going away for the weekend or that you don't live close? To me, birthdays and holidays are sometimes the ONLY times we get together with certain friends or siblings. If I am invited to an adult only birthday lunch/dinner/party, etc I try to make it every time as long as it's a close friend or family member. To me, it's just something I WANT to do. That being said, I do not expect everyone to come out for my birthday. For my husbands siblings (8 of them) we usually do a birthday lunch on the Sunday after their birthday. Sometimes all of us are there, sometimes only 1 or 2 are there.

It is ok either way...Some people love to celebrate all the time and others don't...If it isn't a milestone birthday I don't see it as a big deal to celebrate other than with immediate family...You can say no. Be at peace with whatever decision you make.

LOL! And I thought only my family acted like this! My husband's family all lives near us and there are 4 aunts, around 20 "kids" ranging in age from 2-30, and grandparents. And everyone likes to go out to dinner and buy gifts for EVERY birthday. With dinner and even a modest gift, that adds up to $1000's every year. We've tried to get everyone to stop doing this because there are only 3 kids left under 15, many in the family are on weight loss programs, so shouldn't be eating out, or having cake....it's all just silly. But everyone keeps having their bad habit and gets bent out of shape if you don't show up for these things. Some months we're out to dinner 4-5 nights in a row because of lots of birthdays, it's NUTS!

We're working really hard this year to do a once a month family birthday celebration. No out of town, no dinner out. Just a rotating potluck once a month at someone's house, no gift giving except to young kids and celebrating all the birthdays and anniversaries for that month all at once and enjoying one anothers company at home, not in a noisy restaurant. Many are still breaking the rules, but we're doing better.

It's not crazy to abstain, try and work with your sisters to find a better way to celebrate one another and get together without the cost and the hassle. Old habits die hard, but it's worth it!

My family uses every opportunity to get together so we get together for adult birthdays too.

If you don't want to go, don't go. We've always done stuff w/ the grandparents for Christmas and this last year was the first year we did the extended family celebration on Christmas Eve, staying home and enjoying our Christmas Day by ourselves. You're allowed to break "tradition".

I like getting together for my/my sisters birthdays. I am already planning a firepit night here for my bday in a couple of weeks :) We lost a sister when we were younger. Maybe that makes us that much closer? Family is important and it is fun to find a reason to celebrate :)

I completely understand where you're coming from. In my family birthdays are important but we don't do parties. My mom is the only one in my family that I live close to and I usually just get her a card and take her out to lunch and that's what she does for my birthday too. My husband's side of the family likes to get together for EVERYTHING. It's nice a lot of the time but it does get to be too much sometimes considering there are both of his parents, his three older sisters and all of their families and an aunt.

My MIL would barely say two words to my husband for several weeks because we were invited to our niece’s dedication at church and we couldn't attend. We didn't even get invited until Monday evening and the dedication was taking place the following Sunday and it was an almost 3 hour drive to where my SIL and her family live. My husband had signed up a couple months earlier to play in a golf tournament that weekend and he had really been looking forward to it - also if he would have canceled he would have lost the money he paid to play in the tournament. His mother was so disgusted by his refusal to cancel his plans at the last minute to attend our niece’s dedication and she was so nasty about it.

His family is all well and good as long as we do what they want us to do. Sometimes it feels like we're not allowed to make any plans on our own unless we get permission from them, which we don’t do. My husband and I are in our upper 30’s and have been together for 16 years but his parents treat us like we’re teenagers sometimes. We attend most every function/celebration at my inlaws’ house because we live in the same town. We even go to a lot of celebrations out of town but if we miss something then we definitely hear about it. A lot of times his family only gives us one or two days' notice before they come into town and we're just expected to drop everything and be available. Like I said before, most of the time it's no problem for us to attend these get togethers but occasionally we have other plans.

I say don't worry about going to your sister's birthday party if you've been sick. She'll have another one next year.

No, it doesn't sound crazy that you do not want to go to a birthday party every year. I just attended a friend's 50th birthday party in Ft. Worth last weekend. It was a blast but then again she doesn't have one every year and this was the 50th. Her husband gave her a week cruise for a present.

As far as regular birthdays go we send cards or calls the day of the birth. My MIL had her 90th last year and is till doing fine but we didn't attend a party for her she just had her hair and nails done at the salon and got cards with money in them.

So to each his own about celebrating birthdays.

Enjoy your time with your immediate family and get to feeling better.

The other S.

I understand what you are saying. I suggest you talk to your sister and say that you are excited for her that she is having a b-day celebration-but you won't be able to attend. The next time she is in town or the next time you can get to her city, you would love to schedule a visit. Just because they are family doesn't mean you are obligated to go....just curious though, why do you have to go alone?? why doesn't your family go with you and your husband etc? Best wishes!

M