Hi Moms,
Here's the situtation. I have a 3 year old boy. He's always taken a while to fall asleep, especially at bedtime since he is incredibly active and it takes him a long time to settle down. Over the last year or so, his bedtime has been moving later and later. Now it's usually around 9:30, 9pm on a good night. We do have a night time routine and it's consistent. We wash up, brush teeth, go potty, change into PJs, read a story, lights out with cuddles and another made up story. We don't do bath at night because he's a crazy man in there and it stimulates him even more. I have tried putting him down earlier, and it makes no difference. He is just not tired yet. We do not watch TV at night. We try to do quiet activities before bed, but most of the time fail since it's basically impossible to make a 3 year old do anything...at least mine. He does not get sugar in the afternoon and not much at all during the day. Just trying to cover all the questions that will be asked... :)
He wakes up between 7am and 7:30am on his own. I'm a stay at home mom. He used to nap around 1pm, but it's been getting later and later and now it's around 2pm. He sleeps from an hour to 1.5 hours. Never past 4pm, usually til around 3pm. I've tried to put him down earlier, but he fights it and usually doesn't fall asleep til 2pm or after anyway.
Today is day 3 of no naps. Saturday was day 1 and completely fine. He went to bed at 8pm (we had company) and slept til 8am the next morning. Sunday he was okay in the morning, then started looking tired around 1pm. He was mostly okay the rest of the day, but just looked tired and a few extra temper tantrums here and there. Asleep by 7:30pm and up this morning at 7:30am. Today was the same as yesterday. He started looking a little sleepy around 2pm and by 6pm was a little reckless, but we were outside and it was hot so I think that contributed to his overall grumpiness. He's in his room sleeping right now. First two nights I stayed in his room til he fell asleep since we had company and he fell asleep within 10 minutes of turning out the light. Tonight I left him in there and it took him 15 minutes.
And finally, my question. Is he ready for no naps or does the fact that he's already looking tired at 1pm/2pm mean that he needs them still? I've had a friend suggest that I give him a nap every few days, but that just throws everything off. If he naps, then he won't go to bed til late and not get a lot of sleep that night so then not napping the next day will be brutal. This way he's at least getting 12 hours every night. Also, we do quiet time when he doesn't nap. He will NOT fall asleep. When he naps, I usually let him ready books for 10 minutes or so, then go in his room, turn off the lights and cuddle with him for a few minutes, but never til he's asleep. Only til he's calmed down. If I didn't actually direct him to sleep, he would not. Also, he is not the type of kid who will just fall asleep if he's tired. He will just keep going. I have a theory that if I didn't put him to bed, he would stay up all night (at least if he naps during the day).
My dd starting not wanting to nap at three also. I really wanted her to, so I would take her for a car ride until she fell asleep. but that only worked for a little while. Finally, I had to give it up and accept that she wasn't going to sleep. I needed it more than she did!!
Many kids give up naps between ages two and three. Perfectly normal. Accept it and move on. Shift his bedtime/wake time so that he gets sufficient sleep but do not force naps and certainly not "a nap every few days" -- never heard of anything like that and it will really throw his body off!
Do keep doing a "quiet time" because it is is vital for him to learn to entertain himself alone and quietly without you having to be there to entertain him. Start it with reading him a calming book (as if you were getting ready to put him down) but then have interesting quiet activities he does alone in his room. He needs to let you leave the room and should learn to be calm and happy with that.
The afternoon crankiness is normal while you and he are adjusting his nighttime sleep and figuring out what hours he needs. But yes, he is ready to drop the nap. You cannot force him to sleep and it will become a power struggle if you even try. Focus instead on a good, regular quiet time (make it seem very special and cool for him, because it's what "big boys" do) and a solid bedtime routine.
I go on the theory if it takes you longer to get them to take a nap than they actually nap it is time to let it go.
At least with my four, the crabbiness in the afternoon only lasts a week or so.
Three is a good age to give up the naps. Many nursery school programs start at three, so kids have to give up naps to go to school anyway. It is very liberating when they finally give up the naps, you have so much more freedom to plan your day and not have to worry about naptime! I found that after my boys gave up the afternoon nap they would still occasionally sneak a nap in here and there (in the car, in front of the tv, etc) depending on how active we were. They still had quiet time (usually a movie or tv time) while I made supper. Twelve hours a day is still a LOT of sleep!
He wakes up at 7:00am that is good. Each morning make sure he gets a lot of active play.
You stated he is extremely active.. He needs to expel this energy.. This is how he will grow taller and stronger.
He could take a nap at 12 or 12:30.. 3:00 is too late in the day.
Let him nap for only an hour to hour and a half..
Wake up have a nap and more really active play outside for an hour to an hour and a half.. Nice quiet dinner.. Do not let your husband rile him up, it takes twice as long to calm your son down.
Start bath time at 8:00 pm. Make it quiet and calm.
It sounds like you've reached the end of naps. Our daughter was 3 1/2 when she dropped the nap - and we probably could have dropped it a little earlier because we were fighting nap time and bed time.
I try to give her a little bit of quiet time each afternoon when brother takes his nap and we start the bedtime routine at 8 pm, with everyone asleep by 8:30/8:45.
12 hours is the NIGHTTIME amount, they need an additional 2 to 3 hours above that until age 6. This means he should not give up his nap at all.
I think your problem is you are waiting for him to look tired. By that time you have missed the window of opportunity. Instead try putting him down an hour earlier for nap (so 12:30 is the latest he is put into his bed, should be asleep before 1 pm) and then much earlier for night too, around 7:30 or 8. If he is waking at 7 am, you go back 12 hours and that is when they should be in bed and going to sleep.
When you miss that window you get a HYPER kid and it's a thousand times harder for them to get calmed and to sleep. Basically in a little kid they don't get sleepy acting, they get whiney or hyper or both. If you get to the hyper or slap happy stage then you waited too long.
Both of my kids gave up naps and it made bedtime much easier. If he seems extra cranky somedays, let him sleep for 30 minutes but not much longer. Like you said, it is important to try to give him some quiet time during the day, but I don't think you should force the nap. My kids still get tired mid-day, so we rest (not sleep) and then get up and go again :). Every kids is very different, so I think you just do what is seems right for yours
Shift bed time early, and he should sleep the same amount of time, just now all at night.
Also, make sure he has quiet time in the afternoon. I let my kids watch TV. It's almost as if you are asleep. Works great.
I'm a SAHM too... My daughter stopped taking naps at 2 or so and when she started preschool at 3 I was concerned because that had naptime from 1-3... But for the most part she slept everyday, occasionally she stayed awake reading or playing quietly. The method her teachers used was lights out, classical music, and rubbing her back and/or belly (basically until she was asleep, like 5 mins). My daughter is similar to your son in that she wakes at about 7, bedtime used to be 9, moved it to 8:30 when she just started Kindergarten, and she's extremely active ALL day.
Around 1 or when I sense her getting cranky if it's not too late I will take her up for nap/ quiet time... And get her in bed, read her a story and then rub her back/ belly ( made more difficult since getting her bunkbeds, lol). Ok I don't know if this rambling helps but at least you know you're not alone. Good luck!
Same with my child at the exact same age.
Gave naps up at that age for about 2months but was so very exhausted.
He's very active!
I tried forgoing the naps. Brutal & not good for my kid.
I let him wake up naturally since I didn't have to get to work or take him to
daycare.
ThenI would make sure he got his activity each & every day.
Then sometimes I'd have to run an errand or go to the graocery store notice he was falling asleep on the way home, take the long way home so he'd fall asleep & transfer him inside for the rest of his nap.
Better for HIM.
